Cancer Posted January 31, 2015 Report Share Posted January 31, 2015 Must... resist urge... to make joke... about things being... fully inflated... Guys will pay attention to more than the commercials during halftime. True story - decades ago, when Shania Twain was first starting her career, my wife and I were playing some game with my sister and her husband. The TV was on, but the volume was way down. Whatever program it was, Shania came out on stage and I looked at the TV and made the comment, "Wow, she's hot." A few weeks later, my wife bought me one of her CDs, "...because you liked her singing on [whatever show]." I wisely didn't say aloud what I was thinking: Oh, she sings?! NT: surprising things people are going to bet on during the Super Bowl, other than anything related in any way to the game itself. Off topic: Said by Dolly Parton to Barbara Walters: "I don't sing with my boobs, hon." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 31, 2015 Report Share Posted January 31, 2015 Off topic: Said by Dolly Parton to Barbara Walters: "I don't sing with my boobs, hon."Also referenced by June Carter at her husband's recording at Folsom Prison. Johnny Cash: "I just like watching you sing." June Carter: "But my mouth is all the way up here!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L. Marcus Posted January 31, 2015 Report Share Posted January 31, 2015 Whether or not there will be a Wardrobe Malfunction this year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted January 31, 2015 Report Share Posted January 31, 2015 NT: Surprising things people are going to bet on during the Super Bowl, other than anything related in any way to the game itself. How many homes will be burglarized while people are watching the Big Game at sports bars, friends' homes, or Hooters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 1, 2015 Report Share Posted February 1, 2015 NT: surprising things people are going to bet on during the Super Bowl, other than anything related in any way to the game itself. How many of the people at your party are secretly watching the puppies on their smartphones instead of the game. NT: You've been invited to a co-worker's Super Bowl party, but you can neither stand nor understand football. Reasons to go anyway. (Difficulty: Job security is not involved.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted February 1, 2015 Report Share Posted February 1, 2015 NT: You've been invited to a co-worker's Super Bowl party, but you can neither stand nor understand football. Reasons to go anyway. (Difficulty: Job security is not involved.) He's holding your family hostage. (With a respectful nod to Bunneh.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted February 1, 2015 Report Share Posted February 1, 2015 NT: You've been invited to a co-worker's Super Bowl party, but you can neither stand nor understand football. Reasons to go anyway. (Difficulty: Job security is not involved.) One word: FOOD. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted February 1, 2015 Report Share Posted February 1, 2015 How many of the people at your party are secretly watching the puppies on their smartphones instead of the game. NT: You've been invited to a co-worker's Super Bowl party, but you can neither stand nor understand football. Reasons to go anyway. (Difficulty: Job security is not involved.) Your engaged to their cousin. NT: The boss tells you to host the Super Bowl party. What will you do to make it special? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted February 1, 2015 Report Share Posted February 1, 2015 NT: The boss tells you to host the Super Bowl party. What will you do to make it special? Have an erotic vampire furries LARP that runs the entire duration of the party. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted February 1, 2015 Report Share Posted February 1, 2015 NT: The boss tells you to host the Super Bowl party. What will you do to make it special? Host an Amway meeting concurrently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 2, 2015 Report Share Posted February 2, 2015 NT: The boss tells you to host the Super Bowl party. What will you do to make it special? "What was in that beer, and what I doing standing on the roof wearing only flaming pink paint?" NT: How you keep your job after spiking the boss's beer and leaving him standing naked on the roof wearing only pink paint? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoloOfEarth Posted February 2, 2015 Report Share Posted February 2, 2015 "What was in that beer, and what I doing standing on the roof wearing only flaming pink paint?" NT: How you keep your job after spiking the boss's beer and leaving him standing naked on the roof wearing only pink paint? "Don't worry, boss. There's no reason for me to upload that video onto YouTube of what you did *before* painting yourself pink and climbing onto the roof. Unless, of course, I find myself unemployed and short on cash. By the way, can we talk about a raise?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted February 2, 2015 Report Share Posted February 2, 2015 Blame it on the guy boss hates. "You know how Melvin is always trying to steal your stapler? I think he's the one who spiked your drink and gave you the body paint. And I think I saw him with a camera phone..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted February 2, 2015 Report Share Posted February 2, 2015 NT: How you keep your job after spiking the boss's beer and leaving him standing naked on the roof wearing only pink paint? Promise to upgrade him to vodka, neon green, and a Speedo next year. New Topic: Now that the Big Game is over, how will we all pass our time until training camps open in the fall? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L. Marcus Posted February 2, 2015 Report Share Posted February 2, 2015 Watch real football. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
death tribble Posted February 2, 2015 Report Share Posted February 2, 2015 New Topic: Now that the Big Game is over, how will we all pass our time until training camps open in the fall? The same way we pass every off season, try and take over the world ! Cancer, Pariah and BlueCloud2k2 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted February 2, 2015 Report Share Posted February 2, 2015 We run a pre-season Fantasy Football game that uses Super-Heroic versions of our players built in HERO Designer. NT: Some things there really shouldn't be an app for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted February 2, 2015 Report Share Posted February 2, 2015 NT: Some things there really shouldn't be an app for.Wiping your bottom in the loo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L. Marcus Posted February 2, 2015 Report Share Posted February 2, 2015 Decision-making. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted February 2, 2015 Report Share Posted February 2, 2015 NT: Some things there really shouldn't be an app for. Keeping up with the Kardashians. New Topic: Unexpected consequences of living the same day over and over and over again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted February 2, 2015 Report Share Posted February 2, 2015 New Topic: Unexpected consequences of living the same day over and over and over again.Getting to re-live the satisfaction of bloodily murdering half a dozen university vice presidents over and over and over .... Pariah and death tribble 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 3, 2015 Report Share Posted February 3, 2015 New Topic: Unexpected consequences of living the same day over and over and over again. Back in normal time, your spouse wonders how you could possibly have accumulated a $14,000 mobile phone bill. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted February 8, 2015 Report Share Posted February 8, 2015 New Topic: Unexpected consequences of living the same day over and over and over again. Every single time you die, and then come back to life for the next go-round. Instant Immortality! NT: Subtle signs that Hell really has frozen over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted February 8, 2015 Report Share Posted February 8, 2015 The Infernal Choirs have begun singing "Let It Go" around the clock. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoloOfEarth Posted February 8, 2015 Report Share Posted February 8, 2015 NT: Subtle signs that Hell really has frozen over. The Detroit Lions win the Super Bowl. A man from Michigan dies and ends up in Hell. The devil throws him into a room and cranks up the heat. Coming back a week later, he finds the Michigan man is jogging happily. "Why aren't you screaming in agony?" "In this heat?" The Michigan man gestures around. "Heck, this is Michigan in June." So the devil cranks up the heat even further and leaves. Coming back a week later, he finds the Michigan man playing basketball. "Don't tell me this isn't hot enough!" "This? This is Michigan in July." So the devil cranks it up to the maximum, throws in some steam for good measure, and leaves. A week later, he returns to find the Michigan man sunbathing. "Why aren't you screaming for mercy by now?!" "This? This is Michigan in August." At this the devil mutters, "If I can't boil him out, I'll freeze him out." So he turns the thermostat all the way down and leaves. A week later, he returns to find ice everywhere, snow falling, and the man from Michigan jumping up and down yelling, "Hip, hip, hurray! Hip, hip, hurray!" The devil shakes his head in dismay and thinks, I get the weirdest ones down here. "What the hell is wrong with you?" The Michigan man stops his celebrating to say, "Are you kidding? It's snowing and freezing, in Hell, You know what that means... the Lions won the Super Bowl!" death tribble, Pariah and Cancer 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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