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Chickens?


Michael Hopcroft

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Someone is going to skewer me for this, but what would be a good racial template for a species of six-foot-tall sentient chickens?

 

Assume they are either flightless or can only fly for very short bursts, and that they have some way to grasp and hold objects (maybe not enough to pick a lock, but enough to hold a weapon and not look any more stupid than giant chickens usually look).

 

Chickens are pretty belligerent brids, and these would be no diffierent. If their non-sentient smaller cousins are on the menu of just about everyone else, they are bound to hold a grudge. They might even go berserk at the slightest opportunity.

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Re: Chickens?

 

I'd put them in as "barely sentient" at most. They'd need to be the dumbest of the sentient races. Even stupider than anthropomorphic sheep.

Making them perfect pawns for Kvack, the Duck Lord of the Wastes!

 

(Whose foes are known to complain, as he grinds them under his webbed heel, "Great -- we've been conquered by poultry!")

 

(BTW there's a type in you signature "Order" of the stick)

Fixed.

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Re: Chickens?

 

I don't get why people think that a sentient humanoid animal would feel so much kinship toward their lesser cousins as to be insulted that someone would eat them. I've never met anyone who was actually insulted that people eat monkeys and chimpanzees.

 

Also, given what I've seen and heard about chickens pecking each other's sores, sentient chickens may very well be semi-cannibalistic.

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There are plenty of people insulted by the suggestion that we are cousins to monkeys.

 

True, but those who aren't wholly ignorant at least realize that monkeys are subject to many of the same ailments as humans, more so than other animals, which is why they're used for medical research.

 

Also, for that matter, there's no reason why a race that resembled a humanoid animal wouldn't be insulted by the suggestion that they're cousins to whatever lesser animal they resemble.

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Re: Chickens?

 

I wouldn't say "lesser", I'd just say "non sentient" cousins/ancestors/whatever.

 

Because the evolutionary predecessor may very well be better in many skills or powers than the anthropomorphised version. Generally in fantasy worlds, intelligence is not as highly prized as many other skills and abilities - the people of these worlds would not always regard less intelligent things as "lesser". They would respect and be awed by the power of the non-sentient animals.

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Re: Chickens?

 

Why am I reminded of the Real Ghostbusters episode in which a man summons a demon to get one wish, and uses it to make every chicken on Earth disappear. The demon, utterly humiliated, actually recruited the Ghostbusters to get it reversed. I don't know if JMSW wrote that episode, but it was a gem....

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Re: Chickens?

 

Someone is going to skewer me for this, but what would be a good racial template for a species of six-foot-tall sentient chickens?

 

Assume they are either flightless or can only fly for very short bursts, and that they have some way to grasp and hold objects (maybe not enough to pick a lock, but enough to hold a weapon and not look any more stupid than giant chickens usually look).

 

Chickens are pretty belligerent brids, and these would be no diffierent. If their non-sentient smaller cousins are on the menu of just about everyone else, they are bound to hold a grudge. They might even go berserk at the slightest opportunity.

 

 

Why not screw with people completely? Ramp the chicken up to predatory prehistoric bird size (6-11 feet in height). Kit them out like velociraptors. Shrink the wings back down into functional fingers. Beef the legs into heavy, muscular taloned legs. Keep the plumage. Then grant them intelligence appropriate to large social carnivores (like wolves), or even higher.

 

Everyone snickers about the giant chickens, then a few of them kick down the door, lay waste to the room, and eat somebody.

 

Jurassic Park taught us that velociraptors can be scary and smart. Just throw feathers and a beak on them.

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Re: Chickens?

 

Why not screw with people completely? Ramp the chicken up to predatory prehistoric bird size (6-11 feet in height). Kit them out like velociraptors. Shrink the wings back down into functional fingers. Beef the legs into heavy, muscular taloned legs. Keep the plumage. Then grant them intelligence appropriate to large social carnivores (like wolves), or even higher.

 

Everyone snickers about the giant chickens, then a few of them kick down the door, lay waste to the room, and eat somebody.

 

Jurassic Park taught us that velociraptors can be scary and smart. Just throw feathers and a beak on them.

I'd love to see a character sheet for that, actually.

 

And the JP velociraptors were scary. Everything about that movie was scary as hell, actually. I don't think I've ever had that kind of gut fight-or-flight reaction to anything else I've ever seen in a movie theatre.

 

And it was on a huge screen with a superb sound system> I could feel the T-rex breathe, like it was right on the back of my neck ready to bite me in half. I was damn scared.

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Re: Chickens?

 

I'd love to see a character sheet for that' date=' actually. [/quote']

 

I don't have the character sheet with me (I'm at work - but it's OK, it's my lunch break) - but you can see a picture of one of these over in the Herophile art thread :D

 

http://herogame.dans.cust.servlets.net/forums/showthread.php?t=32056

 

Call it my poultry contribution, if you like.

 

cheers, Mark

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Re: Chickens?

 

Lets not forget the Chicken's most fearful attack, Crapping at will and turning the entire surface into a slippery nasty mess. And what about Egg slinging? The kind of non-conventional attack that would be-fuddle the minds of almost any adventurer. "How do you fight something that keeps pelting you with EGGS?"

 

And why does it have to be giant to be a threat? Think Monte Python's Vorpal Bunny.I can hear it now... "Oh sure, just go in and lop it's 'ead off. I'm tellin ya, its got a mean streak a mile wide! And its BEAK! "

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