Bizarre Spell Ideas

[Michael Hopcroft]

Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

The Curse of Babel

When cast on a large group of people, this spell makes all forms of communication among them impossible by causing each person affected to speak, read, write and even think in a unique language that is used by nobody else in the world -- including any other members of the target group or the caster. This makes all forms of cooperation or coordinated effort extremely difficult.

[Curufea]

Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

I suppose you could summon a still-living frock creature. Would that be a frock golem? (Sung to Rock Lobster' date=' "Frock Golem!") Of course, thinking of prismatic frock makes me think that it is what a normal dragon eats to become a multi-headed chromatic dragon. [/quote']

 

On a side note, we call dresses "frocks" here. Maybe it isn't slang elsewhere?

[Kortay Mirlor]

Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

Create Frock: Out of thin air, you create this just darling little dress, with just the right accesories. It's just perfect for those marvelous little parties, those afternoon soiree's, and all of those wonderful times you and "the girls" get together.

 

Warning: causes gushing, speaking in simply italics my dear, and other empty-headed actions.

[Michael Hopcroft]

Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

A "Prismatic Frock" would be something like what the version of Doctor Who played by Colin Baker wore; that style of jacket is actually called a "frock coat" (it was popular in the 1870's) and the only color that wasn't part of it was blue (which would have interfered with the effects photography).

[Basil]

Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

Place Hold: This spell causes the written material it is cast on to be unmovable by anyone save the caster. NB: it can be harmed (ripped up, splashed with acid, burned, etc.) but even then the remains are immovable by any save the caster.

[Michael Hopcroft]

Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

Place Hold II: when cast on a book or parchment being kept in any sort of archive, said document will be firmly fixed and immovable until the caster himself picks it up. The downside is that he must put said book back where he found it within three weeks or be fined three bronze pieces per day -- and you don't want to know who to and what lengths they will go to to collect....

[Pavanne]

Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

Cast List: This spell causes a ship to tilt to one side. If kept up, the ship eventually sinks.

 

Expendable Focus is a piece of paper (parchment, vellum, etc.) with names in two columns.

[Kortay Mirlor]

Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

The Curse of Babel

 

The Curse of Bagel: Your target is hit from above with a 1000 kg toroid of crusty bread product. This crushes him unless he's very strong of tough.

 

Or can eat a lot. Really fast!!

[Silverhawk]

Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

The Curse of Bagel: Your target is hit from above with a 1000 kg toroid of crusty bread product. This crushes him unless he's very strong of tough.

 

Or can eat a lot. Really fast!!

 

Then to take care of any allies he might have on the field (or if he is really tough). Throw the Course of Cream Cheese & Lox: Target area is schmeered in a smothering, thick white creamy spread covering everything. This is followed by blanket cover of a pinkish fish.

[Dale A. Ward]

Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

Oy Gevalt!

[Cantriped]

Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

Not so much a spell as a magic item. the Healing Shiv. when-ever you stab someone with this shiv it will heal them 1d6 points worth of body in addition to the 1d6 HKA it deals...

[Basil]

Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

Not so much a spell as a magic item. the Healing Shiv. when-ever you stab someone with this shiv it will heal them 1d6 points worth of body in addition to the 1d6 HKA it deals...

 

"Killing this guy's gonna take a while..."

[Curufea]

Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

I was just thinking of an even weirder version of limited healing.

A set of steak knives.

Actually - cutting blades from two-handed size down to scalpel size.

Each blade will heal a wound of a blade one size larger - but in doing so creates a wound.

You end up going through all the cutlery down to the smallest to heal someone.

[Dale A. Ward]

Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

I was just thinking of an even weirder version of limited healing.

A set of steak knives.

Actually - cutting blades from two-handed size down to scalpel size.

Each blade will heal a wound of a blade one size larger - but in doing so creates a wound.

You end up going through all the cutlery down to the smallest to heal someone.

~eyes the instruments of healing suspiciously~

 

Ummm... no thanks... I'll just bleed.

 

[Pavanne]

Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

Displace Hold: This spell teleports the hold of a ship about 30 hexes to starboard. Since the hold is pretty much the stuff from the waterline downwards, this is Not Good™

 

 

Hmm... Seem to be on a theme here....

[Kortay Mirlor]

Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

Displace Hold: This spell teleports the hold of a ship about 30 hexes to starboard. Since the hold is pretty much the stuff from the waterline downwards, this is Not Good™

 

 

Hmm... Seem to be on a theme here....

 

There does.

 

 

A mystic tome: The Book of Ship Jokes. Don't mistake for The Book of Cheap Jokes or The Book of Sheep Jokes!

 

The Book of Ship Jokes contains all the real bad jokes about (more or less) ships. Reading from this book is likely to destroy the sanity of the reader and (if read aloud) the sanity of the listener. Or the sense of humor of the listener.

[Michael Hopcroft]

Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

Displace Hold: This spell teleports the hold of a ship about 30 hexes to starboard. Since the hold is pretty much the stuff from the waterline downwards, this is Not Good™

 

 

Hmm... Seem to be on a theme here....

 

And here is a variation that is more useful:

 

Improved Displace Hold: This spell teleports the contents of the hold of a ship about 30 hexes to starboard. A very rare spell, but the few who know it can revolutionize sea piracy. By the time that fat merchanter even knows they've been robbed, you're long gone....

 

This sounds like something that would show up in the world inhabited by Captain Luffy T. Monkey and the crew of the Merry-Go. (Say, Surbrook's written up Luffy, hasn't he?).

[Basil]

Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

And here is a variation that is more useful:

 

Improved Displace Hold: This spell teleports the contents of the hold of a ship about 30 hexes to starboard. A very rare spell, but the few who know it can revolutionize sea piracy. By the time that fat merchanter even knows they've been robbed, you're long gone....

 

I'd say that having the entire cargo "poofed" out of a ship would have an instantly noticable effect. Sort of a "my gods, we're in a giant elevator!" feeling.

 

 

Hold Place: when you are in a long line, you can cast this spell, then wander off and do whatever you like. So long as you get back before the line advances too far, your place will be held. This spell comes in a number of varieties, differing only in what "holds" your place in line. The more socially acceptable varieties use things like an illusion of you, a summoned Incompetant Normal "friend," and so forth.

 

Less socially acceptable versions use things like Mucus Golems, self-aware semi-coherent flatulence collections, Disease Demons, etc.

[Michael Hopcroft]

Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

I'd say that having the entire cargo "poofed" out of a ship would have an instantly noticable effect. Sort of a "my gods, we're in a giant elevator!" feeling.

 

 

Hold Place: when you are in a long line, you can cast this spell, then wander off and do whatever you like. So long as you get back before the line advances too far, your place will be held. This spell comes in a number of varieties, differing only in what "holds" your place in line. The more socially acceptable varieties use things like an illusion of you, a summoned Incompetant Normal "friend," and so forth.

 

Less socially acceptable versions use things like Mucus Golems, self-aware semi-coherent flatulence collections, Disease Demons, etc.

Improve Place: This spell measures out the distance between you and the front of the line you're waiting in and teleports out the people in your way. If you have to ask where they went, you don't want to know.

[Dale A. Ward]

Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

Less socially acceptable versions use things like Mucus Golems' date=' self-aware semi-coherent flatulence collections, Disease Demons, etc.

 

Hey?!? When did you meet my father?

[Cantriped]

Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

Muwuhahaha The write up for the 'Healing Shiv'

Healing Shiv: Killing Attack - Hand-To-Hand 2d6 (2 1/2d6 w/STR), Required Hands One-Handed (+0), Reduced Endurance (0 END; +1/2) (45 Active Points); OAF (Shiv; -1), Side Effects, Side Effect occurs automatically whenever Power is used (4d6 Healing BODY + 1 DC/DC Added to HKA (by any means), Applied vs PD, Decreased Re-use Duration (Instant); -1), Real Weapon (-1/4)

 

Long Ago the first of these Shivs were created as a training tool for young assassins, the idea being that they could try out their best techniques with a real weapon, without the inconvience of burying the bodies later. However the enchantment proved to be very erratic, sometimes healing less then the damage dealt, sometimes healing more.

However unbeknownest to it's creator, some of these weapons fell into the hands of Emos and Guards, who found it a good way to kill time (and sometimes eachother) The Emo types liked it cuz it let them kill themselves over and over and get attention until they finally died tragicely, and among the soldiery it became an equally nilistist group activity where they would pass the blade around, each stabing themselves, until one of them finally keeled over...

[Pavanne]

Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

Read Furniture: The spell was created by someone a little dyslexic. She wanted "Read Future" but this is what she got.

 

Not the most useful spell around, is it?

[Curufea]

Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

Not as bad as -

Spell Magic (they left of the di-)

Magic Fissile - creates a small quantity of unknown isotopes

Frieball - a ball of small slivers of a root vegetable that have been fried in oil is hurled at the target.

Lightening Bolt - anyone struck by this roll of cloth loses weight.

Dis Pell Magic - the ability to mock any magic involving training.

[Michael Hopcroft]

Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

Read Furniture: The spell was created by someone a little dyslexic. She wanted "Read Future" but this is what she got.

 

Not the most useful spell around, is it?

 

Depends. In the right sort of cosmology, one in which every object, animate or inanimate, has a little bit of life in it, it's one of those subtle spells that can be really helpful. The office desk that remembers everyone who has come into the room and would gladly share that information if anyone knows how to listen could give all sorts of handy knowledge to the PCs.

[Basil]

Re: Bizarre Spell Ideas

 

Ah yes, misspelled spells.

 

A mage of great power, but insufficient schooling, tried to make a spell that would make it difficult to discern his features. He wanted "Blur," he got:

 

Burl: This spell creates a hard, woody, more-or-less hemispherical lump, such as is found growing on the side of some trees. It is useful to carve small ornaments, or smoking-pipes, out of, to turn into veneer, or to throw at enemies. Otherwise, this spell is a real dud.