What is your most humous story

[quozaxx]

(Tranfered from another thread)

 

What is your most humous story (stories). Lets have fun with this one.

 

Quozaxx

[Scott Baker]

Re: What is your most humous story

 

I was a player in a variant The-Game-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named. The party had been playing for some time, and I had just joined. For some reason the GM decided my character should start out as a totally starting character (which meant I was just lucky to be alive being in the party).

 

At one point in the adventure my character was mind-controlled by a vampire. The party's walking down a corridor and I'm told to take the party down the right-hand tunnel when we come to a fork in the path. No problem!

 

We come to the fork in the path. I convince the party to take the right-hand tunnel. The other players had no idea what was actually going on, so it wasn't hard.

 

As soon as we start down the tunnel, the GM takes me aside and starts ranting that my character's mind controlled and I have to do what I was told, yada yada yada. What's the punchline? Glad you asked.

 

The GM was sitting on the opposite side of the map from the players. His right was my left. I did exactly as I was told. The party ends up running directly into the vampire who was setting up an ambush from behind and they slaughter him.

 

After the battle, all of the players got a great laugh out of the confusion (poor GM). It was hilarious to us. YMMV

 

Scott Baker

[Bloodstone]

Re: What is your most humous story

 

Most of mine are already in the Quote of the Week thread.

[Hugh Neilson]

Re: What is your most humous story

 

At one point in the adventure my character was mind-controlled by a vampire. The party's walking down a corridor and I'm told to take the party down the right-hand tunnel when we come to a fork in the path. No problem!

 

We come to the fork in the path. I convince the party to take the right-hand tunnel. The other players had no idea what was actually going on, so it wasn't hard.

 

As soon as we start down the tunnel, the GM takes me aside and starts ranting that my character's mind controlled and I have to do what I was told, yada yada yada. What's the punchline? Glad you asked.

 

The GM was sitting on the opposite side of the map from the players. His right was my left. I did exactly as I was told. The party ends up running directly into the vampire who was setting up an ambush from behind and they slaughter him.

 

Poor dyslexic Vampire!

[Starlight]

Re: What is your most humous story

 

My most humorous story? With so many candidates how can I choose just one. There's the tale of the Warlock's Coin. The Saga of Seventeen. The curious incident of the Quick and the Undead deserves a mention of course. But the first chronologically speaking occurred in a 1st edition Champions game long ago. It has the added advantage of being short to relate and needing very little back story. We were all comparatively new to the rules and full of enthusiasm. That enthusiasm hasn't changed much over the years at any rate. Champions is still my favorite game system.

 

The hero team were on the 27th floor of a downtown business building talking to a witness of the kidnapping of a DNPC to one of the heroes. Glancing outside the stockbroker's office another of the heroes spotted a known villain entering a bank. Raising the alarm she opened the window and leapt out,

 

Hero #1 exits via window: "I superleap down to the opposite side of the street."

Hero #2 exits via window: "I fly down towards the bank."

Hero #3 exits via window: "I shoot out a webline and swing down to the bank entrance."

Hero #4 exits via window: "I leap out and..." at this point his brain caught up with his excitement and he realised he didn't have a suitable movement power on his character sheet, "uh, plummet like a stone to the sidewalk."

[Bloodstone]

Re: What is your most humous story

 

Reminds me of an episode of JLU:

 

Batman: Batman to all points. I could use some air support.

 

Since I can't fly.

 

At all.

 

(still falling) Now would be good.

[Ockham's Spoon]

Re: What is your most humous story

 

The characters had barely defeated a lich in a desert tomb, nearly been buried alive, and came staggering out of the wastelands to an oasis looking like death warmed over. There was a small group of nomads at the oasis who were surprised and wary at the characters' approach.

 

Nomad Leader: "What manner of being are you coming from the Cursed Desert?"

 

Jack the Wizard: "We're Amway salesmen!"

 

It took ten minutes for everyone to stop laughing.

[quozaxx]

Re: What is your most humous story

 

These are great. Let's keep 'em coming.

Quozaxx

[Manic Typist]

Re: What is your most humous story

 

.....what's Amway?

[jtelson]

Re: What is your most humous story

 

Setup: Modern government supers group in a training scenario. The team is split into two groups to practicing Capture techniques using minimal force. The scenario ends when someone ends up in the 'cage'.

 

Character: Goldbrick - Brick type has been around since WWII. Legendary for being lazy. He was, in that game world, responsible for the phrase goldbricking.

 

The scenario starts and Goldbrick grabs his closest team member, throws him into the cage, slaps his hands together and says 'Right, that's lunch'

 

After the group recovered and the Team leader finished shouting the scenario was restarted with the caveat 'other' team member.

[Kabluey]

Re: What is your most humous story

 

It was a heroic modern campaign a friend of mine was running. I don't recall many of the particulars, just that we had invaded some organization's secret lab or something like that. In any case, we had been captured by security and things were looking pretty bleak. Then the GM says, "Two scientists enter in bunny suits." We all just gave him bizarre, clueless looks. No one other than the GM knew that bunny suits was a common term used for suits used in cleanrooms and such. So we all had this vision of serious, evil scientists in rabbit suits - complete with big paws and floppy ears. Needless to say it took quite a while for us to stop laughing. I still chuckle about it now and then.

[Ockham's Spoon]

Re: What is your most humous story

 

.....what's Amway?

 

Seriously? I thought it was one of those icons of American "culture" that everyone knew about. Amway used to combine the least savory qualities of door-to-door salesmen and pyramid schemes. When I was a kid they had a reputation for being pretty aggressive, kind of the commercial equivalent of the Jehovah's Witnesses (am I showing my age here?). But with laws against con games and regulations against solicitation, Amway has become either more respectable or more insidious depending on your take. They sell a huge variety of products using joe average as salesmen pitching to anyone who will listen. They get some commission on anything they sell, but the real way to make money in Amway is to sign up other salesmen. Legally it is legit, but some would say it is predatory.

 

__________________________________________________________

"How much would you pay now? But wait! There's more!" - Ron Popeil

[Scott Baker]

Re: What is your most humous story

 

Seriously? I thought it was one of those icons of American "culture" that everyone knew about. Amway used to combine the least savory qualities of door-to-door salesmen and pyramid schemes. When I was a kid they had a reputation for being pretty aggressive' date=' kind of the commercial equivalent of the Jehovah's Witnesses (am I showing my age here?). But with laws against con games and regulations against solicitation, Amway has become either more respectable or more insidious depending on your take. They sell a huge variety of products using joe average as salesmen pitching to anyone who will listen. They get some commission on anything they sell, but the real way to make money in Amway is to sign up other salesmen. Legally it is legit, but some would say it is predatory.[/quote']

 

OT Warning:

They still tread a thin line. After the lawsuits, the founders left Amway and started another, nearly identical business. Like all pyramid schemes, the only way to really achieve is to be part of the "inner circle" so that you get a cut off the top, and more importantly, make money selling the "supplies" and "training."

 

OK, back on topic now.

 

Scott Baker

[Scott Baker]

Re: What is your most humous story

 

OK, to make up for my OT rant...

 

Same variant game I mentioned in my previous post. After the vampire's untimely demise, the party comes to a crypt. At the far end of the room we found a stone sarcophagus standing upright. Inside there was a skelal figure cloaked in fancy looking robes. We noticed some strainge markings on the floor in a semi-circle around the sarcophagus.

 

Being the paranoid group that we were, we decided there must be some reason they were there and refused to cross them.. So we're examining the thing from every angle possible when the GM tells us that the jaw starts to open. We shout out our battle cry, "KILL IT!!!," and proceed to attack with ranged weapons.

 

The group had another good laugh when the surprised GM couldn't understand why we didn't want to hear what the Lich had to tell us. Or why we didn't go any closer--if we had it would have been released from its prison and probably killed the whole party.

 

Poor GM. We thought it was funny. YMMV.

 

Scott Baker

[AmadanNaBriona]

Re: What is your most humous story

 

Most of mine are already in the Quote of the Week thread.

 

Yeah, me too..

 

have had a number of good ones over the years, but right off the top of my head, I'd have to say my all time favorites came from an old Runequest campaign.

 

First quote was from an Elven character (elves are plants in Glorantha) after being soundly torched by a dream dragon.

 

"Mind if I smoke?"

 

The other occured after our resident Storm-god following semi berserker barbarian duck found himself, yet again, lying on the ground missing a limb

 

"Looks like Steve's not playing with a full duck again"

 

Reading some of the older posts on this thread reminded me of another quote concerning the same PC duck. The player was a bit distracted, looking up a spell effect or somesuch, and so when my character, sensing an ambush, yelled "Duck!", he looked up and said

"And proud of it!"

And was promptly cut down by a hail of arrows.

[Tech]

Re: What is your most humous story

 

My most humorous story this past week occured with two beginning characters (though the players aren't beginners.) One has a light user, the other uses darkness.

 

The player using his darkness character sees the end of a battle with his light-using friend vs a supervillain, and runs down the block to help him. Alas, he arrives too late and the villain gets away. The two of them talk in confusion as to why the sudden attack occured on the light-user. Since the darkness-user ran up to his friend and is speaking to him, he is unaware of another supervillain running up behind him to ram him (ala move-through). The light-user, however, sees the impending attack and decides to warm him.. "DUCK!"

 

Okay, the darkness hero ducks, not dodges.

 

The darkness hero is rammed in the butt and knocked away in an arc 18", holding his rump. As the villain's unluck kicks in, he lands in a couch having been set down by furniture movers.

 

On the next turn, he has to run back 3 of his phases to get back. As GM, I add:

Ok, you run back holding your rump saying 'Ow! Ow! Ow!'

[Vondy]

Re: What is your most humous story

 

Once, I was slathering humous on warm pita and this...

[Willpower]

Re: What is your most humous story

 

After the group recovered and the Team leader finished shouting the scenario was restarted with the caveat 'other' team member.

 

This is funny. Reminds me of the character from my story. I shared this before, but it was years ago, so I think I can share it again.

 

Flavius, my ancient Roman Gladiator turned modern day brick, was with his group and we were defending the USS Constitution (the ship, not the document) from Eurostar. He was fighting the LeSone, when he dove into the water to get away from him. Flavius jumped in after him, even though he coud barely dogpaddle. The LeSone was getting away, and Flavius couldn't catch him, so I tell the GM, "OK, I grab the biggest thing I can find to smash him with. He looks around... not much there. So I end up smashing LeSone with the USS Constitution, completely destroying the ship we were there to protect.

[pinecone]

Re: What is your most humous story

 

This is funny. Reminds me of the character from my story. I shared this before, but it was years ago, so I think I can share it again.

 

Flavius, my ancient Roman Gladiator turned modern day brick, was with his group and we were defending the USS Constitution (the ship, not the document) from Eurostar. He was fighting the LeSone, when he dove into the water to get away from him. Flavius jumped in after him, even though he coud barely dogpaddle. The LeSone was getting away, and Flavius couldn't catch him, so I tell the GM, "OK, I grab the biggest thing I can find to smash him with. He looks around... not much there. So I end up smashing LeSone with the USS Constitution, completely destroying the ship we were there to protect.

 

Gotta love the property damage....."I'm crashing the alien starship into the museum!"