Cancer Posted August 12, 2015 Report Share Posted August 12, 2015 A: Looks like everybody gets to go to the Doll Drop but me. Q: May I have your attention please. Will the following contestants please come to the stage manager's desk. Ken; Skipper; Barbie; GI Joe; Chatty Cathy. A: That's ACTION FIGURE, not DOLL, buddy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 12, 2015 Report Share Posted August 12, 2015 A: That's ACTION FIGURE, not DOLL, buddy. Q: Didn't you realize what Pat Robertson said? That you playing with that doll is a sign of manhood in decay? A: Marriage should be gay. Gay marriage is a lot better than dour, joyless, desperately unhappy marriage. Wait, I think that came out wrong.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted August 14, 2015 Report Share Posted August 14, 2015 Q: So have you heard about the Supreme Court's decistion to make Gay Marriage legal in all 50 states? A: Oh sure, blame the halfling. What the heck, we're easy targets! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 14, 2015 Report Share Posted August 14, 2015 A: Oh sure, blame the halfling. What the heck, we're easy targets! Q - Where's my pipeweed? Why smoked all the &@%# pipeweed?! A - No, I never said it was your fault. I just said that I'm going to blame you for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 14, 2015 Report Share Posted August 14, 2015 A - No, I never said it was your fault. I just said that I'm going to blame you for it. Q: Oh sure, blame the scapegoat! It's always the scapegoat's fault! A: Boots! Boots! Boots! Boots! Moving up and down again! There's no discharge from the war! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted August 14, 2015 Report Share Posted August 14, 2015 A: Boots! Boots! Boots! Boots! Moving up and down again! There's no discharge from the war! Q: You say your old lady has a footwear fetish that's driving you crazy? A: Your mother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 15, 2015 Report Share Posted August 15, 2015 A: Your mother. Q: Honey, I sense you're unhappy. Is there something you dislike in our relationship? A: I told you this could happen when you got the Orcs all drunk. But did you listen? You did not! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 15, 2015 Report Share Posted August 15, 2015 A: I told you this could happen when you got the Orcs all drunk. But did you listen? You did not! Q - Is that really an entire company of 10,000 Orcs twerking? Poke my eyes out now, please. A - I'm gonna need Xena tapes and an endless supply of Hot Pockets. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted August 15, 2015 Report Share Posted August 15, 2015 Q - Is that really an entire company of 10,000 Orcs twerking? Poke my eyes out now, please. A - I'm gonna need Xena tapes and an endless supply of Hot Pockets. Q: So what is your master plan for learning how to fight like a ranger and the secrets of the Greek society? A: That boom restarted the universe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 17, 2015 Report Share Posted August 17, 2015 A: That boom restarted the universe. Q: Man, the simulator is frozen. What will happen when I kick it? A: I know sharks can;t live inside an active volcano. I know it's impossible. But let's stop arguing about Applied Ichthyology and RUN FOR YOUR BLASTED LIVES! BlueCloud2k2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted August 20, 2015 Report Share Posted August 20, 2015 Q: Okay, who's the genius that decided to combine the Slowly-Moving-Floor-Trap-Over-Liquid-Hot-Magma with the tank full of Sharks-with-Frickin'-Laser-Beams-in-Their-Heads, AND ACTUALLY MANAGED TO PULL IT OFF!? A: I knew this was gonna be one of the days it wasn't gonna pay to get out of bed... thanks for proving me right. A-Hole. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 20, 2015 Report Share Posted August 20, 2015 A: I knew this was gonna be one of the days it wasn't gonna pay to get out of bed... thanks for proving me right. A-Hole. Q - All right, mister, freeze right there. Gimme all your money. And your watch and cell phone. And your pants, too, while we're at it. A - Treat her like a lady, ya jackwagon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted August 20, 2015 Report Share Posted August 20, 2015 Q: Any advice for when Lightning McQueen dates Sally? A: Because Pixar is Life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 21, 2015 Report Share Posted August 21, 2015 A: Because Pixar is Life. Q: Why does Mikey refuse to go to Dreamworks movies? A: Just four guys from the wrong side of the tracks making music together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted August 21, 2015 Report Share Posted August 21, 2015 Q: So tell me how you can compare the Beetles to Metallica? A: Because Joe Biden says so, that's why! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 22, 2015 Report Share Posted August 22, 2015 A: Because Joe Biden says so, that's why! Q: I wanted to run for the Democratic nomination unopposed! Why can't I run unopposed? A: Roxanne, you don't have to put on the red light! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcus Impudite Posted September 14, 2015 Report Share Posted September 14, 2015 Q: I wanted to run for the Democratic nomination unopposed! Why can't I run unopposed? A: Roxanne, you don't have to put on the red light! Q: Is Michael singing in the shower again? A: Two bad tastes that taste absolutely awful together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted September 17, 2015 Report Share Posted September 17, 2015 A: Two bad tastes that taste absolutely awful together. Q: What did the restaurant critic say after paying a visit to the Frog & Peach? A: Take a bite from this apple, Mister Corporate Events! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted September 17, 2015 Report Share Posted September 17, 2015 A: Take a bite from this apple, Mister Corporate Events! Q - What makes you think that Lucifer himself is planning our sakes convention? A - Wow, that really is blue! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted September 18, 2015 Report Share Posted September 18, 2015 Q - What makes you think that Lucifer himself is planning our sakes convention? A - Wow, that really is blue! Q: Has Seaman Joe been looking over the railing again? A: I arrived by TARDIS. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted September 18, 2015 Report Share Posted September 18, 2015 A: I arrived by TARDIS. Q: I just hung up the phone, Miss Smith. How did you get all the way from London to Paris in fifteen seconds? A: Bummer about that accident that stopped your aging. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted September 18, 2015 Report Share Posted September 18, 2015 Q: What do you mean, there can be only one? Only one what? A: That's what you said last time it happened. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted September 18, 2015 Report Share Posted September 18, 2015 A: That's what you said last time it happened. Q - We have no intention of invading Poland. Honest! A - Once again, you've managed to snatch defeat from the very jaws of victory. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted September 18, 2015 Report Share Posted September 18, 2015 A - Once again, you've managed to snatch defeat from the very jaws of victory. Q: What was the post-game interviewer too polite to say to the coach of the Chiefs? A: And that's why vampires are lousy at putting on makeup. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted September 21, 2015 Report Share Posted September 21, 2015 A: And that's why vampires are lousy at putting on makeup. Q - Seriously, who uses garlic as an ingredient in foundation?! A - She's my hero. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.