Pariah Posted May 22, 2012 Report Share Posted May 22, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: No' date=' this isn't the NBA or NFL draft. Here's your rifle. Good luck, soldier. You'll need it![/quote'] Q - So who do I take out first, LeBron James, or Jonathan Vilma? A - I had no idea they grew to be that large! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted May 22, 2012 Report Share Posted May 22, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A - I had no idea they grew to be that large! Q: Could we be possibly be looking at a giant squid? A: Here comes the sloth - say good-bye to next week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted May 22, 2012 Report Share Posted May 22, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: Here comes the sloth - say good-bye to next week. Q: OK, we spent yesterday with Envy, and last night with Lust. What sin's on tap next? A: It's GRAPES of Wrath, not APES of Wrath. No need to shoot the gibbons on sight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted May 23, 2012 Report Share Posted May 23, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: It's GRAPES of Wrath' date=' not APES of Wrath. No need to shoot the gibbons on sight.[/quote'] Q: What does Steinbeck have to do with these invading primates? A: You have just repealed the laws of physics. Congratulations. I hope you enjoy dissolving into a spray of non-organized atomic particles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted May 25, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 25, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: You have just repealed the laws of physics. Congratulations. I hope you enjoy dissolving into a spray of non-organized atomic particles. Q: What's the worst-case-scenario if the Intelligent Design crowd ever gets appointed to the office of God? A: Not me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 25, 2012 Report Share Posted May 25, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: Not me. Q - Who thinks Snooki is going to be a great parent? A - I looked on out the window, and I started countin' phone poles goin' by at the rate of four to the seventh power. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted May 25, 2012 Report Share Posted May 25, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A - I looked on out the window' date=' and I started countin' phone poles goin' by at the rate of four to the seventh power.[/quote'] Q: And you knew you'd gotten into the wrong time machine when, exactly? A: I shot a caseless grenade into the air. It came to Earth I know not where. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 25, 2012 Report Share Posted May 25, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: I shot a caseless grenade into the air. It came to Earth I know not where. Q - You're the one who's responsible for the Tunguska event? A - Never? No, Never! What, never? Well, hardly ever! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted May 25, 2012 Report Share Posted May 25, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A - Never? No' date=' Never! What, never? Well, hardly ever![/quote'] Q: What are steps in a student's replies when you accuse them of failing to do the reading? A: Reading ... I have people for that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted May 25, 2012 Report Share Posted May 25, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: Reading ... I have people for that. Q: You didn't even buy textbooks! How are you going to pass this class? A: I've taken this exam twenty-seven times now. Halfway to saving the football team! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted May 25, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 25, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: I've taken this exam twenty-seven times now. Halfway to saving the football team! Q: What are the downsides to tough academic standards for athletic scholarships? A: That was bone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted May 25, 2012 Report Share Posted May 25, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: That was bone. Q: Here we have a rather long, straight, hard, cylindrical object. What could it possibly be? A: The Cosmic Coins. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted May 25, 2012 Report Share Posted May 25, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: The Cosmic Coins. Q: What do you need to have to use the Custom Universe Vending Machine? A: This is the parallel universe where Rome never fell. You want the one two quantum leaps down where the Romans never even got started. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted May 26, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 26, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: This is the parallel universe where Rome never fell. You want the one two quantum leaps down where the Romans never even got started. Q: Is this the Gaelic City of Seven Hills? A: Approximately 24 Mega-hurts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 26, 2012 Report Share Posted May 26, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: Approximately 24 Mega-hurts. Q - At what frequency will Deadpool scream after trying to put the moves on Jean Grey? A - It was too long and complex. I didn't bother to finish reading it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted May 26, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 26, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A - It was too long and complex. I didn't bother to finish reading it. Q: What did you think of "Green Eggs and Ham"? A: I meant the food, not the book. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted May 26, 2012 Report Share Posted May 26, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: I meant the food' date=' not the book.[/quote'] Q: The Grapes of Wrath turned out to be an exciting book, did you not agree? A: We have the tuna-shark. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted May 26, 2012 Report Share Posted May 26, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: We have the tuna-shark. Q: How do we fight the salmon-whale attacking the harbor? A: Too many people are flying these days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 27, 2012 Report Share Posted May 27, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: Too many people are flying these days. Q - How can you tell there's a glut of catapults in your neighborhood? A - On the eve of the great decline. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted May 27, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 27, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A - On the eve of the great decline. Q: What's a popular euphemism for "getting it on" with Ms. Eve Decline? A: Only in French. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted May 27, 2012 Report Share Posted May 27, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: Only in French. Q: Do you have any copies of Ethel the Aardvark Goes Quantity Surveying? A: Even if someone had told him about the pikes, Charles wouldn't have listened. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 4, 2012 Report Share Posted June 4, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: Even if someone had told him about the pikes' date=' Charles wouldn't have listened.[/quote'] Q - So our victim had an affair with Emily Pike and got himself shot. Didn't he know that Robert Pike had already been implicated in the suspicious deaths of three other men who'd had trysts with his wife? A - And that's when I opened up the fire hydrant, your honor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted June 4, 2012 Report Share Posted June 4, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A - And that's when I opened up the fire hydrant' date=' your honor.[/quote'] Q: And you ran out of the the pretzel factory, pursued by salt golems, after they turned the rest of your crew into mini-knots? And when they approached you, what did you do then? A: You do have to take all this with a grain of salt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 4, 2012 Report Share Posted June 4, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: You do have to take all this with a grain of salt. Q: This journal article states that if you lick the moon eight million times you reach the chocolate center! Let's get a program to do it started right now! All we need is eleven trillion dollars from the taxpayers, then it will be a piece of cake to -- why are you looking at me like that, Fred? A: One long staircase just for going up, and one even longer coming down, and one more leading nowhere -- just for show. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted June 4, 2012 Report Share Posted June 4, 2012 Re: Answers & Questions A: One long staircase just for going up' date=' and one even longer coming down, and one more leading nowhere -- just for show.[/quote'] Q: What is Obama's great new program that he is loading on everyone? A: That was when all the wires knotted up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.