Shadow Hawk

It's not the bullet with your name on it that you have to worry about, it's all the ones addressed "to whom it may concern".

 

A: He had absolutely nothing to wear with it.

Q: What was Adam Warlock's biggest complaint while he had the Infinity Gauntlet?

A: Sorry, I already have a dozen.

I have CDO.

It's like OCD, but the letters are in alphabetical order.

Like they should be.

NT: Darth Vader is dead, and hopefully he'll stay dead, so who's the villain in Star Wars VII?

The Evil Captain Lensflare...

NT: Congratulations! You've just exterminated the entire Ewok species to the last infant! What's your next trick, O Man of Blood?

"I'm going to DisneyPlanet!"

High heels are practical footwear for acrobatics.

High heels are practical footwear for acrobatics, martial arts, marathons, cross country, deep sea diving, mountain climbing, interstellar exploration....

But don't ask how unless you want a broken jaw.

See #73.

If you're going for Irish stereotypes, two Irish cops (one corrupt, one painfully honest) would fit.  And a Irish Lawyer and/or political figure.

(the stereotype has some truth to it, I'm half Irish, and my 5 grand uncles include 2 police officers, and a police commisioner, plus a union head.  None corrupt, as far as I know.)

NT: How you earned that seventeen thousand dollar electric bill last month,

Now that my death ray is fully charged, I don't have to pay the damned electric bill.

People can't see past a pair of glasses.

Part 2: People can't see past the simplest of masks.

Fat Boy vs. The Cheerleaders by Geoff Herbach.  Gabe aka Chunk aka the fat boy declares war on the new "Cheer Dance Squad" when he discovers his beloved band camp has been cancelled to pay for the new "Cheer Dance Squad" coach.

New Topic:  How various supervillains would help their favorite country win the World Cup.

Foxbat kidnaps the opposing team's mascots.

Never ask a female metahuman, villian or hero, how she keeps her top from falling down.

"I've been waiting for you, Mister Bond."

Don't dare someone to shoot you, even if you  are bulletproof.  After all, the other people around you might not be.

Be careful who you are bluffing.  You can probably bluff a thug.  Don't try it with Doctor Destroyer.

New Topic:  Why did the VIPER agent cross the road?

A Viper agent does not question orders! (BANG!)

Don't interupt the monologue until the time is right.

NT: Unexpected consequences of eliminating all taxes on the rich.

The Rich stop dying.

If Taxes are no longer inevitable, than Death isn't either.

If you are a normal human, never get into a romantic relationship with a superhuman.  The best you can hope for is being used as a hostage; at worst you'll be stuffed in a fridge.

Some heroes can use lethal force with nary a qualm, and no one will ever call them on it.

Others dare not strike thier opponents too hard for fear of causing them serious injury.  If they do slip up, even accidentally, they will be persecuted for it.

Find out which catagory you are  in early in your career, because once it's been decided you cannot change.

Don't insult the teenage loner/losers.  If When they develop lethal powers, you don't want to be on thier list.

A villian may die, but the legacy will live on.  The villian has a spouse, sibling, child, parent, identical twin or long lost cousin who will gladly take up the mantle to get thier revenge upon you.

New Topic: Which superhero did you run into at 2:30 a.m. at the local convenience store, and why were they there?

Wolverine, looking for brews and smokes.  Alas, you cannot buy alchohol in California after 2am.  Lucky for the clerk, I was there to call him a ambulance.

New Topic: Who's haunting the local convenience store and why?

Not everything is a Hydra* plot.

Which doesn't mean this isn't a Hydra plot, mind you.

*substitute other evil conspiracy for Hydra as needed.

Just because you can violate the laws of physics doesn't mean the innocent bystander you're trying to save can.