Christougher

They came and took it.  

Went to a funeral today (that "fun" part is really misleading, by the way, though it _was_ a genuine circus   ).  Did some reminiscing with friends and was reminded of this gem:
 
In this world, Monstrous are wild cards (fantasy world).  People who have dabbled "too deeply" in magic and have become twisted, deformed soulless-- and often mindless- beasts.  They are physically dangerous, spiritually dangerous, and often times magically dangerous.
 
The PCs have stumbled upon a keep inhabited by a very old dabbler in magic (which is very unusual in this world; most blow it and become Monstrous).  As they are interacting with him in his study, one of the Monstrous shambles into the room, carrying a tray with a flask of wine and several goblets.  The PCs immediately ready their weapons and position themselves for combat.  The Monstrous does not move.  It simply holds the tray out, its mouth partly agape and its unfocused eyes staring blindly ahead.  The PCs wait and wait.  Finally the start to relax.  The old spell caster is amused, chuckling softly to himself.
 
"is....  Is this thing _safe_?"
 
"From what?"
 
"I mean is it safe to have around?"
 
"To have around you?  Most definitely.  It's far stronger than you will ever be."
 
 

Strange people distributing arbitrary pet names is no basis for a system of government.

This would be a joke but it's missing something.  
 

If you had a dictionary on drugs, you could call it an addictionary.  It would be useful for high definition.

It's for ewe!

One for the we;; preserved crowd.
 
"Ow.  "I just stepped on a Lego." said Tom, limply.

I don't see how those add up to "slide rule."
 

The Ominous...
 
pause

Obotuary

I would point out she was beautiful with nothing on, so they were obviously right🙄

Ewoks reproducing out of control, and overflowing the ships' storage areas?

It was only a matter of time before the ongoing tensions between Wars vs. Trek exploded into overt violence.
 
Not sure why she's so close though, force-choking is surely in her canon repertoire by now.
 
Personally I'd prefer it if Wars and Trek could overcome their differences and merge.  Instead of force chokes, you could have the force nerve pinch.  Warp speed in hyperspace.  Klingons with lightsabers.  Wookiees vs. Vulcans in a 3-D boxing holochess tournament.  Death Stars with cloaking devices...

I'm ready for Xmas!
 

Basic science fact: one guacamole is equal to 6.0221415x10^23 guacas.  This is known as Avocado's Number.