Wormhole

One night you came home so worn out from a major superbattle that you went straight to bed. During that night's action, a magically inclined villain zapped you with a power that didn't seem to have any effect... at least not at the time. The next morning, you wake and discover you've somehow been transformed into a dog (breed depending on you're character's personality). You still have your normal intelligence and can speak, but you are unable to use any of your superpowers. What would you do?

During a raid on a VIPER nest, you find yet another black file folder. This time, the folder contains a dossier on a scientist by the name of Alex Bryce. According to the dossier, Dr. Bryce had been working on technologies that would have revolutionized the fields of artifical intellegence and cybernetics...right up until he died of lung cancer in 1998. The information in the folder suggests VIPER is constantly searching for Bryce's lost research journals in hopes of developing his technologies for Their Own Nepharious Purposesâ„¢... to no avail at the present time. It is then you notice a photograph of the good doctor paper-clipped inside the folder and stare at in growing shock: take away the glasses and the lab coat, make him a little less chunky and alot more muscular, and Dr. Bryce is the spitting image of the android that took down Succubus in What Would Your Character Do? The After Christmas Edition and stole the mugger's gun in the Mugging Senerio What would your character do?

Mystical stuff isn't in Hardware's job discription, so he'd have to ask an appropriate teammate or other associate of his for advice on this. Tiger Shark has seen this sort of thing happen before and wouldn't be overly concerned. He would, however, be preparing for the day this demon made his comeback.

The problem with making a "Gentleman Jim" villain is if you don't make him powerful enough to absolutely mop the floor with the PCs, or give him some other significant advantage that would give them pause, they won't give him a chance to be anything but a punching bag. Most of the posts from the What Would Your Character Do?#25 thread (where I presented the senerio involving a battle between Villain A and Villain B after A abducted B's sweetheart) are pretty clear indicators of that. Otherwise, about the only way you could introduce a "Jim" into your campaign without the players going for the kill (figuratively speaking, or not depending on the type of characters they're playing) right out of the box would be to have their first encounter with him at a venue where they can't just attack him without getting into a world of trouble.

You and your teammates recieved a hot tip as to the whereabouts of a major villain's lair (insert appropriate name here) in the campaign city and go to investigate. You find the lair but it looks like it's been abandoned for sometime. Just as you're about to leave, you notice one of the more impulsive junior members of your group staring at a blinking light on a nearby console with that what-does-this-button-do? look on their face. As you see them extend their finger toward a button on the console, you suddenly remember that the villain in question is notorious for setting rather lethal booby traps in any lair he's forced to abandon. What do you do?

It's late one night and you can't sleep (insert character-appropriate reason here). You decided to watch some TV and start flipping through channels, finding little on but infomerials, when you come across what looks like a really bizzare home shopping program. An anouncer says, "Greetings villains and villainesses, and welcome to the first broadcast hour of the new Supervillain Shopping Network. And now, here's your host, Foxbat." There's the sound of canned appause as the camera pans over to Foxbat and a couple of bikini-clad models standing infront of tonight's merchandice, which ranges from blaster rifles and Turtle Armorâ„¢ suits to some more essorteric items. An 800 number and the price of each appears on the screen in each frame as the models do the full Vanna White routine. What do you do?

I'm not even going to ask.

Hardware: As a single father of a teenage girl, Hardware would be extremely disgusted and the temptation to just kill the sicko would be a devil to resist. After calming down enough to think things through rationally, he'd do discreet surveillence on the pervert and be waiting to bust him if he tries to do anything to a real child. Tigershark: Can you say "Purena Shark Chow" boys and girls? Air Raider: To AR, this guy is just another example of the degeneration civilian society is going through and would not think twice about "taking out the garbage."

You know of the supervillain Megascourge only by reputation, he was one of the big boys back in the 70s and 80s until his death in 1989. Sourge was notorious not only as a supercriminal, but as a philanderer of epic scale. By the time it was all over, he had sired more bastard offspring then anyone cares to count and contracted a nasty viral infection that ultimately caused his demise. Megascourge has not left this world without a legacy, however. One of the products of his promiscuity has recently grown to manhood and has seen the first manifestations of his powers- powers exactly like those dear old dad once weilded. With the aid of a private investigator, the kid has recently tracked down some of daddy's lost belongings, including a cashé of Megascourge's spare costumes and other paraphernalia from his criminal career. Shortly after, "Scourge Jr." has appeared in the skies over Campaign City in one of daddy's old costumes. What do you do?

It's the weekend. You're at the lake outside the campaign city (boating, camping, fishing, bird watching, whatever) in Secret ID one evening when you spy something strange coming up out of the muck in an adjacent swamp: a swamp creature (i.e. just like the one in the 5th Ed Hero Beastiary) carrying a watertight bag over one shoulder. The creature looks around, slips behind some trees, and then shapeshifts into human form! The creature, now in the form of a teenaged human male, opens the bag and discloses a towel and several articles of clothing: T-shirt, boxers, socks, blue jeans, and a pair of sneakers. After toweling off and getting dressed, "swampboy" walks to a spot on the edge of the woods and removes some camouflage netting from what looks like an old Trans-Am. After tossing the bag and the netting in the trunk, he gets in, starts it up and pulls onto the road, heading for town. What do you do?

Aside from knock a couple of them on their butts and giving one or two of them a blackeye, no.

5 years ago, an alien invasion force attempted to conquer Earth. The invaders were defeated and their capital ship crash landed on a previously uncharted atoll several miles south of Hawaii. In the years since, the invaders have never ceased to cause trouble: abducting people as slave labor in their ongoing efforts to repair their vessel, trading their advanced weapons technology to supervillains and rogue nations for various "little favors," threatening various major cities with superweapons and genetically engineered monstrosities to extort supplies of metals and other resources for the aforementioned ship repairs, and in general being a thorn in humanity's side. Recently, the aliens have completely withdrawn to the atoll and, according to UNTIL intellegence reports, have stepped up efforts to make their ship spaceworthy. Their leadership has set a time table for a very hasty departure from our planet. This all seems like good news until it is revealed why they are in such a big hurry to leave: A NASA long-range sensor array has picked up something really big heading for Earth. None of the NASA scientists have a clue what the inbound object is, but if the alien invaders are in such a rush to flee from it, it can't be good. What would you do after being presented with this info?

You, your teammates, and a task force of PRIMUS agents just completed a successful raid on one of the local VIPER nests. As the others are mopping up what's left of the VIPER goons, you decide to have a look in the nest leader's office and find a couple of interesting items on his desk: A black file folder and a video tape. First you open the folder and find a Civil War Era photograph of a young man in a confederate army officer's uniform. A yellow sticky note attached to the photo reads: "Lab tests have confirmed the authenicity of this picture. Very interesting in light of the video footage." Seeing a cart with a VCR and TV close by, you stick in the tape and play it. The video turns out to be security camera footage from the food court at a nearby shopping mall. The camera is fixed on the counter of the Hot Dog On A Stick stand as several customers wait in line, order and pay for their food, and then take their tray and leave the screen. As one man is walking away with his order, you get a look at his face and pausing the tape. Though wearing modern clothing and sporting a slightly different hairstyle, you have no doubt he's the same man in the photograph... and he doesn't even look a day older. What do you do next?

Humor me.

Your at the department store downtown in Secret ID to exchange a gift or two that really weren't what you wanted for Christmas. While you're at the customer service desk, you spot trouble; a villainess who calls herself "Succubus" and five observably mind controlled men armed with MAC-10s. After making her grand enterance, Succubus loudly demands all the money from the registers and all the jewelry from the jewelry department. She then proceeds to use her mind control on the security guards and several other men in the store, making them gather her loot for her. Then she turns to a man who has his back to her and demands that he do her bidding. In response, the man turns around with a snide smile and says something along the lines of "You should try asking me nicely, Sweetcheeks." It is then that you recognize him: the man from the mugging senerio (that's right, he's back). Dismayed by his reply, Succubus calls him an "insulant cur" and launches into a rant about how no human male is supposed to be able to resist her power. To this the stranger laughs, his voice takes on a gutteral electronic sound, his eyes glow red like burning coals, and he says, "When did I say anything about being human." Succubus sics her mind slaves on him, but he wades through them like they're nothing as he advances on her menacingly. As he comes within arms reach, she takes a defiant swipe at him with her claw-like fingernails, the scratches on his face revealing the gleam of metal beneath. Without so much as flinching, he grabs her by the neck, lifts her a good three feet off the floor with one hand, and says, "Big mistake, Sugarbuns." He then tosses her like a ragdoll. From the way she sprawls upon hitting the floor, you know at once she's out like a light. With Succubus knocked out, the men who were in her power snap out of it and start looking around in confusion and disbelief. The stranger produces a neigh empty squeaze bottle of flesh-colored liquid from his pocket, walks over to a mirror at the make-up counter, and applies it to the scratches, grumbling something about being down to the last of his "dermal resin." After that, he grabs Succubus, binds her wrists and ankles with electrical tape, and walks out the lobby doors with the still unconscious villainess slung over his left shoulder. What do you do?

LOST: Favorite Clone Concubine Discription: Blond hair, green eyes, 5'7", 36D cup, clad in gold lame bikini, and lacks vocal cords. Reward for safe return. Call: 1-888-4-TELEIOS

It's lunchtime in the campaign city. In Secret ID, you join one of your teammates and his girlfriend, Heather, for lunch at an outdoor cafe. The three of you are laughing and talking- though trying to avoid certain topics since she doesn't know about his crimefighting career yet- when Teleios shows up with a platoon of his Clone Troopersâ„¢ and grabs Heather! Unable to intervene immediately without compromising both of your Secret IDs, you each sneak off to chance into your costumes only to find Teleios and his henchclones have given you the slip. Your teammate then pulls out what looks like the reciever unit for a tracking device. As you are following the homing signal to Teleios's secret lair de jour, you ask him how he got a tracker on Heather. He then confesses something to you that, though you always knew he was something of a shade of gray, surprises you nonetheless. Last year, when she went in for an apendix operation, he blackmailed her doctor (who was addicted to painkillers and stealing them from the hospital supplies) into secretly implanting her with the tracker during surgery. As shady an affair as it was, he says he believed he was justified in doing it because Heather is "just so damned kidnap prone" and he's always worried that the next time some scumbag abducts her he'll lose her forever (there have been several "close calls" in the recent past). He asks you not to repeat what he has just told you to anyone; not to the others on the team and, most especially, not to Heather. What would you do?

Edit again: scratch that, this is #25. Two major villains in the campaign city have had a long-standing bitter rivalry, each trying to destroy the other at every encounter. This time things are really heating up as villain A kidnaps villain B's DNPC love interrest and publically threatens to harm her if he doesn't face him in a final showdown atop the tallest building in the city. As you and your teammates arrive at the site, villain A threatens to hurt the girl if you interfere, forcing you to back off and watch from a distance. Then villain B shows up, and he looks understandably pissed off. They have the obligatory exchange of banter, ending with villain A making a rather crass remark along the lines of, "And when I'm finished killing you, I'm going to have some fun with little precious here." To this, villain B replies, "We'll see who kills who." and the battle is joined with both combatants going at each other with no punches pulled. What do you do at this point?

USPD p. 264 under Immortality Syndrome write-up: Only To Prevent Death (-2)

You and your team have spent the better part of a week tracking a werewolf that's been attacking people late at night in city. After chasing "wolfie" through city park, the team gadgeteer finally manages a clean shot on the beast with a tranquilizer gun. The creature goes down and immediately starts reverting to human form. Much to your shock and dismay, the werewolf turns out to be... your own DNPC. What do you do?

It's a week after the superbattle of the century with Doctor Destroyer, in which a teammate of yours appeared to have made the ultimate sacrifice to save a bunch of innocent bystanders from destruction at the hands of one of the Doctor's fiendish devices. As you are walking near the sight of the battle, you see a swirling vortex open in the fabric of space and a figure stumbles out. It's the aforementioned colleage and they appear dazed, confused, malnurished, and they have what appear to be a dozen or so mismatched socks clinging to their costume. As you approach them, they collapse right there on the sidewalk. What do you do?

You're involved in the superbattle of the century with Dr. Destroyer when you see him pointing a menacing looking ray device at a crowd of innocent bystanders. You struggle with the Doctor over the weapon which discharges and hits you point blank. After a blinding flash of light, you find yourself lying atop a mound of something soft. You turn over and find you're on a gigantic pile of socks, millions upon millions and none of them appear to match. Around you are piles of socks as far as the eye can see and no sign of anyone else. What do you do?

Q: I hear you paid a large sum of cash to Teleios, and what's up with that shaggy mane of hair? A: In retrospect, I really wish I'd picked the blue one.

#50: So-called criminal masterminds insist on dropping the TPO detective types into ridiculously over-elaborate death traps that can be escaped with alittle create thinking when it would be quicker and more effective to put a bullet through their heads and toss the corpses in the Hudson.

Amen. Just today I was stuck in the left turn lane behind some twit talking on a cellphone. When we finally got an arrow, I had to honk three times to get him to move- plus the little jerk had the nerve to turn around and give me a dirty look.