Xavier Onassiss

Gotta love Shadowrun; those are some great quotes.
 
Tonight was the 2nd episode of my latest Terracide campaign, Salvaging Hope: Part 1 - Omicron Uprising. I'll try to post some more quotes next week, but here's the best one from this session:
 
The crew of the interstellar salvage vessel Coprolite (the PCs) are preparing to infiltrate the Solar Express Corporation fast clipper Sovereign, a massive luxury liner, with the intention of hijacking it. A former Sovereign crew member, Talitha Borealis, is offering to help them, claiming to have knowledge of the ship's layout and security. 
 
First Officer Rene Damphousse: "Are you sure you know your way around the Sovereign?"
 
Talitha Borealis: "If I tell you there's a hot tub full of queso on that ship, pack a bikini and some chips."

Shadowrun 2050 - Characters include

Inkubus: Elven party animal and metal mage
Felix 'Bubbles' Bethke: Formerly an Aztech security mage, put on permanent leave for no reason he can figure out
Samantha 'Greenlight': Teenager whose entire family was kidnapped by Renraku corp.
Titus: Troll - party accountant and juggernaut
Labrat: Ork vehicle and demolitions expert
Warhammer: Dwarven sniper and merc

The Soft-eyed Man: The Renraku operative behind the kidnappings.
Kitty: Greenlight's fixer
Wormwood: Greenlight's mentor when she first found herself alone on Seattle's streets.
Jake: Greenlight's little brother - also one of an unknown number of experimental clones, at least some of whom have biochipped memories.
After wiping out five squads of Renraku Red Samurai and two helicopters, it is becoming evident that the megacorporation doesn't like us. .

Inkubus: I however would like to thank them for their continued contributions to my retirement fund.
Titus: I'm pretty sure they like us, they keep sending us more stuff to sell.

Although it does leave us in possession of more collectibles, although the fact they're still on fire and underneath a burning helicopter is a problem

Felix: Let's congratulate the auction winners on their purchase of increasingly rare intact Red Samurai armour.
Greenlight: Hey, Miss Kitty, I want to organise another auction - more Red Samurai stuff, slightly burned.
Felix: 'Fire Sale'

Titus: How many of the bodies can we throw into the back of the truck?
Inkubus: All of them.
Greenlight: If necessary we will strap them to the roof like deer.

Greenlight's player: *struggles to open jar of salsa*
Titus' player: Troll?
Greenlight's player: Troll. *passes jar*
Titus' player: *opens jar without difficulty*
Greenlight's player: I want to be a man too!

Labrat: I say we escalate
Greenlight: *playing with red samurai corpses like they're ventriloquists dummies* Hooo! You besmirch my honour!
Labrat: We are going to f**k up Renraku
Greenlight: SCANDALOUS!

Titus: You decapitated one with a stun baton!
Greenlight: Red Samurai helmets are awesome! Pity about the neck part.

Labrat suggests a row of Red Samurai heads on pikes in front of their corporate HQ, with broken katanas and a little sign saying "Red Burakumin"

Labrat: Untouchables. Lowest of the Low.

And, of course, inform Renraku's media rivals beforehand so they can film it. With any luck we can make the exec responsible commit Seppuku.

One of the Samurai's commlinks blinks. It's the guy that kidnapped Greenlight's family.

The Soft-eyed Man: Well? Did you get them?
Greenlight:.... Hi.
The Soft-eyed Man: ... you f**kers.
Greenlight: No. *takes off bandana* I'm THAT Fucker.
The Soft-eyed Man: Oh. Well.
Greenlight: I'm coming for you.
The Soft-eyed Man: Actually, I'd like to extend you an invitation. *signs off and texts coordinates*
Labrat: You realise this is a trap, right?
Greenlight: .... Yes it's a trap! I don't need a giant fishman to come up and say 'it's a trap!'

The coordinates are for a decommissioned oil-rig.

Felix: Boat again!
Inkubus: We already win
Felix: Well, we could really surprise them and hijack a sub.

Inkubus: They'll be locked up tighter than a nuns arsehole.
Felix: Speaking from experience, are you?
Inkubus: Well, if you have the right lubricant...
Titus: I did not need to know that.

Our ninja specialist starts prepping for a stealth insertion at night - infra-red goggles, etc.

Greenlight: I almost feel like Sam Fisher now, all I lack is the children and the gravelly voice.
GM: You have the children.
Greenlight: Oh shit I do!

Titus: It'll cost half a million to cover my armour in Diamond-Kote
Greenlight: Pimp my Troll!

Titus: I say we just blow the place up.
Labrat: I can do that.
GM: Goddammit.

Greenlight gets another message - it's 'Hoping for a family reunion' and photo of Greenlight's brother. With him the age he should be. It might be the original. Still, rigging the platform with C12 is a good idea - Labrat knows SCUBA. Of course, there are bound to be complications.

Greenlight: We're not leaving him in the water around a Renraku oil-rig! Can you say 'cybersharks?'
Inkubus: These ones WILL have fricking lasers.

Or paracritters, such as the ridiculous-looking but utterly lethal sea-wolves. On the other hand, with the assistance of Felix's water spirit, Labrat and Titus can park 20 miles away, zoom in and out, and only need the rebreather gear and dry suits just in case. Inkubus' summonings might be impossible, if the necessary conditions - such as fire - aren't available.

Titus: If Warhammer is around, you are always in a place with fire. Or that will be on fire shortly.

Inkubus stirs up the Seattle glitterati to start a flash mob in front of Renraku - with the rest of us utilising our street cred and 100K from the petty cash fund, we can get half of the city to show up. And likely a couple of dragons, who are probably wondering where all the humans are going.

Titus: Dunkelzahn shows up in full 70s disco outfit.

And when the heads on spikes get revealed at midnight, they'll see we used the same font they use for 'Red Samurai'.

GM: Most of the crowd will assume they're art installations, but Renraku will get the message.
Inkubus: Well, they ARE art installations.

And rival corp Fuchi will be there to film the lot - and Inkubus' shiteating grin - and make sure it appears on Japanese TV.

And when the reveal happens, and Renraku security is 'distracted' the rest of us will be paying a little visit to the Renraku airbase just outside town, and stealing all their choppers, flying them over the border, and hiding them.

GM: Are you going to blame this on an ecoterrorism group?
Labrat: It's an option.
GM: Oh shit, you're going to blow up an oil-rig. Of COURSE you are.

Greenlight calls his mentor, Wormwood. Who by a lovely coincidence is a Rigger.

Greenlight: It's time.

Felix takes advantage of the effects on Renraku's stock value, and gives his grandfather at Aztechnology the heads-up too. Even though Lone Star security shows up, they're not going to interfere in a raucous and non-violent street party of 50,000 people - ESPECIALLY since they're in direct competition with the Red Samurai for Asian security contracts.

Labrat: This is turning into a perfect storm of bad publicity for Renraku.

Renraku: Ok, which executive is responsible for this? Which executive just violated first tenet of corporate culture - 'Vendettas are not profitable'?

Plus, of course, we have a combat chopper, transport chopper, and drone-launching chopper, under camo-nets over the border.

Labrat: Are there any spirits guarding the oil platform?
GM: Surprisingly, no.
Felix: Well, you may have killed all their wizards when you wiped out all those Red Samurai at the auction.
Inkubus: Or the Astral Resources department at Renraku isn't talking to that exec anymore.
Titus: They're contemplating jinxing him bald. Or impotent. There's discussions.

Felix's own drone runs surveillance over the oil rig.

Titus: Now I'm picturing us scrawling 'Don't mind me, I'm an albatross' under the wings.

And with an air spirit making our boat invisible, hopefully whoever is on the oil rig won't know how badly they've fucked up until too late. But the Soft-eyed Man is looking surprisingly undiscombobulated when we spot him waiting for us on one of the gantries.

Titus: Maybe he hasn't been watching the news.

Felix does get some criticism for not bringing any weapons more formidable than a light pistol with gel rounds.

Felix: If you REALLY want to kill people I'll just push them off the gantries into the North Pacific, OK?

The Soft-eyed Man speaks to us over the PA - although we have no idea if he can see us, or even if he ACTUALLY knows we're there. Apparently he's arranged dinner in the rig's dining hall. We take our time getting rid of the guards first.

Inkubus: The thing I love about this party is we can legitimately say 'Mess with us and we'll sic Bubbles on you'
Titus: 'He took out a dragon once'
Inkubus: 'And where is he now?' 'Picking out a new dinner set'

Unfortunately, it's not until we've already killed a dozen of them that we notice they're all the same build, and take off their helmets. The Soft-eyed Man wasn't joking about 'family reunion' - we've just murdered a dozen clones of Greenlight's brother. Greenlight manages to maintain her composure, at least externally, but now we have to switch to non-lethal attacks. The Soft-eyed Man is apparently alone in the dining hall - we've already killed all the clone stormtroopers little brothers. Whoops

Greenlight: I have something to thank you for.
The Soft-eyed Man: Oh?
Greenlight: You taught me how to survive.

And during this whole speech Inkubus is invisibly loading a duffle-bag with the booze from the bar.

Greenlight: I'm going to give you 30 seconds to explain yourself before I kill you and throw your body overboard.

The Soft-eyed Man explains the whole deal with the kidnapping, cloning, stem-cell and biochip experimentation, and shifts blame to HIS boss. And THEN Inkubus reveals himself and Mind Probes the man. Apparently Greenlight's brother Jack is on the rig. And is his own security. And is a hulking black void in the Astral. And that the Soft-eyed Man is a biological telepresence - biochipped and remote-controlled.

The Soft-eyed Man: Did you honestly believe I'm HERE?
Greenlight: You're right, that was silly of me - STAB

Jack is a horrific example of somebody cybernetically altered into something more resembling combat drone than human. But he still has a human face in the middle of the machinery. Also, a rotary cannon. Labrat empties a clip into it, which does little more than stagger it.

All: Oh Fuck.
Greenlight: *with Commanding Voice* Jack! Stop!

Despite all the rewiring, the cyberzombie is actually given pause by his own sister telling him to calm his tits.

Jack: .... S-s-s-AM? I Cc--cc-ant STOP. RuN! *opens fire*
Inkubus OoC: Wait, it's attacking Greenlight in Hand-to-Hand? Great! 'Not only can I parry that, I can attack you, AND disarm you.'
Titus: Just don't parry his head off.

And Greenlight indeed manages to take her brother down. And asks for Labrat's knife.

Labrat: I'll do it if you want.
Greenlight: I need to do this myself.

But out of extra spite Jack's remains come with a 60-second countdown. We flee, and Labrat sets off his own bombs first. Which we learn later disables the small nuke Renraku set up.

Labrat: Nuclear bombs are one of the few WMDs that can be disabled by a guy with a small hammer.

Which further means Renraku is going to be in VERY deep shit when the authorities investigate the merely horrendous explosion Labrat prepared in advance.

Greenlight: Gentlemen, let me remind you - Renraku has been having a very bad day.

Felix: And the conspiracy boards are going to go nuts trying to figure out what they did with those three missing choppers.

And, of course, the various dead clones floating around. Inkubus, however, injects himself with a memory-wiping drug.

Inkubus: I don't want to remember cyberzombies. Or what I saw in that mans' brain.

Inkubus collapses.

Greenlight: I didn't expect you for a one-pump kind of guy! Ha-ha! F**k, he's unconscious.

Greenlight goes home and checks on the young Jack clone she's been living with for over a year now.

Greenlight: Hey Jack, sorry to wake you up. Can I get a hug?

Then goes to sit in the shower all night.


 

Bill Cavalier discusses everyone's (least?) favorite monster, the Flumph...
 
http://www.dungeonbastard.com/?p=524

A few quick points:
1) The grand jury + prosecutor indictment system is a poor fit for police brutality cases. Prosecutors have an obvious conflict of interest because they are dependent on police investigative work and testimony. The grand jury is compromised by some inherent pro-police, anti-minority bias operating at a conscious and/or unconscious level. Everything they process is filtered through that lens. A special investigative unit and special prosecutor for police misconduct cases is a good start.
2) The War on Drugs is a major factor in the intensification of conflict between police and some of the communities they are supposed to serve and protect. Phasing it out over time would be a very prudent move, imo.
3) It's not just police training in use of force that needs to be changed. It's the state laws on the books which often give cops far too much leeway with regard to the use of force, esp. lethal force.
4) We need a return to community policing, a shift from "broken windows" patrol policies which have the net effect of criminalizing minorities for petty misdemeanors and imposes a kind of regressive tax on citizens through overzealous citation work, and we need a major shift in cop culture. Start kicking the unfit for duty ones out instead of circling the wagons every time one of them kills an unarmed citizen,e.g.
5) From what I have been reading, the Cleveland PD/Tamir Rice shooting is by far the worst case of systemic misconduct. The shooter in the Rice case was actually declared "unfit for duty" by the previous department he worked for, and the Cleveland PD hired him without even doing a thorough background check! The officers lied about half a dozen things in their initial interview/report, and rendered no aid to Rice until 4 minutes later when a nearby FBI agent immediately began doing so upon arrival at the scene.

Re: A Thread For Random Links
 
If you're tired of those silly "facts" about Chuck Norris, (Seriously, I've seen his WND column, and it's 100% fact free.), then check out this page of Gauss facts!

Safety tip:
 
That little bottle of Visine which has been sitting in a hot car all day is NOT your friend. 
 
Furthermore, ouch.

Safety tip:
 
That little bottle of Visine which has been sitting in a hot car all day is NOT your friend. 
 
Furthermore, ouch.

Safety tip:
 
That little bottle of Visine which has been sitting in a hot car all day is NOT your friend. 
 
Furthermore, ouch.

Safety tip:
 
That little bottle of Visine which has been sitting in a hot car all day is NOT your friend. 
 
Furthermore, ouch.

When life gives me lemonade, I make sno-cones!

First day was the absolute worst. Wet to dry wound dressings are a real pain!
 
Awesome Gamer Girl turns out to be very good at this sort of thing, and she changed the would dressing for me. In spite of her talents, it was still... excruciating. But I gritted my teeth, toughed it out, and she did an excellent job. Felt a lot better afterwards.
 
We repeated the procedure again this morning. I was scared witless, after yesterday, but the wound is healing up very well thanks to her, so replacing the dressing hardly hurt at all. I think the worst is over. I'm still feeling kinda weak, but what do I expect?

First day was the absolute worst. Wet to dry wound dressings are a real pain!
 
Awesome Gamer Girl turns out to be very good at this sort of thing, and she changed the would dressing for me. In spite of her talents, it was still... excruciating. But I gritted my teeth, toughed it out, and she did an excellent job. Felt a lot better afterwards.
 
We repeated the procedure again this morning. I was scared witless, after yesterday, but the wound is healing up very well thanks to her, so replacing the dressing hardly hurt at all. I think the worst is over. I'm still feeling kinda weak, but what do I expect?

First day was the absolute worst. Wet to dry wound dressings are a real pain!
 
Awesome Gamer Girl turns out to be very good at this sort of thing, and she changed the would dressing for me. In spite of her talents, it was still... excruciating. But I gritted my teeth, toughed it out, and she did an excellent job. Felt a lot better afterwards.
 
We repeated the procedure again this morning. I was scared witless, after yesterday, but the wound is healing up very well thanks to her, so replacing the dressing hardly hurt at all. I think the worst is over. I'm still feeling kinda weak, but what do I expect?

Yikes Xavier.  But usually, those things should come out if they're acting like jerks.
 
Now I'm thinking the cyst in my back is itching...

Ouch. You need a doc who understands RSI's. You might also need a different input device for your computer. Check out some ergonomic alternatives. Logitech and Kensington make some trackballs with halfway decent ergonomics. (Although Logitech's best one is discontinued. Clot-heads probably found out how much I liked it.... mumblegrumbletheyallhatemelifesuxblahblahblah)

Ouch. You need a doc who understands RSI's. You might also need a different input device for your computer. Check out some ergonomic alternatives. Logitech and Kensington make some trackballs with halfway decent ergonomics. (Although Logitech's best one is discontinued. Clot-heads probably found out how much I liked it.... mumblegrumbletheyallhatemelifesuxblahblahblah)

Just finished Shadow of Freedom by David Weber. The plot continues to thicken as the Star Kingdom of Manticore and the Solarian League edge closer to open warfare. But are they being manipulated (again)?
 
The latest installment in this series has far too many characters and some atrocious editing -- typical for an Honorverse novel. It also has lots of action, intrigue, and snappy dialogue, which make it a good read if you can get over the aforementioned hang-ups. For me, this series is a guilty pleasure, and I just keep plowing thru them regardless.

My day has officially been made.
 
It's Kate Upton. In a bikini. In zero gravity.
 
Link might be just a little bit NSFW:
 
http://swimsuit.si.com/swimsuit/models/kate-upton/zero-g-photos/5
 
Sports Illustrated apparently rented out NASA's famous "vomit comet" plane to do a photo shoot in zero gravity with Kate Upton for their upcoming swimsuit issue. The results look like she's trying out for the next version of Barbarella....

Some things simply MUST be seen to be believed.
 
What I don't understand is why so many of said things come from Japan. Anyway, here's another one....
 

Iirc it wasn't NASA's bird but a private outfit that does the same thing, presumably for money. Not that we care really, since the results are... fine.

My day has officially been made.
 
It's Kate Upton. In a bikini. In zero gravity.
 
Link might be just a little bit NSFW:
 
http://swimsuit.si.com/swimsuit/models/kate-upton/zero-g-photos/5
 
Sports Illustrated apparently rented out NASA's famous "vomit comet" plane to do a photo shoot in zero gravity with Kate Upton for their upcoming swimsuit issue. The results look like she's trying out for the next version of Barbarella....

Re: Jokes
 
Engineer/Mathematician/Physicist jokes:
 
#1: Prime Numbers
 

 
#2: Canned Food
 

 
#3: Zeno's Paradox
 

 
#4: Height of a Building
 

 
#5: Totally 'Meta'
 

It would have invalidated the inspection sticker.

Re: A DC Animated-style HeroMachine
 

 
You mean THIS whompin' stick?
 

 
(I've been wanting to give this one a serious do-over; in my first effort, her weapon wasn't quite right, hands weren't gripping properly, didn't like the old leggings, hair could've been better, yadda yadda yadda. This one came out considerably better. So, which SA character should I do next?)

Re: A DC Animated-style HeroMachine
 
Miyako Benedict created by Mike Surbrook
Extraordinary Way lyrics by Conjure One © 2005.
 
 
 
 
I realize Miyako usually carries a shotgun; HM3 is sadly lacking in that area.