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  1. Like
    wcw43921 reacted to BoloOfEarth in Jokes   
    (I thought this was posted here before, but I can't find it with a quick search, so I'll go ahead and post it.  My apologies if this is a repeat.)
    An American is golfing in Ireland when he slices a drive into the woods.  Searching for his ball, he discovers that he accidentally beaned a leprechaun, knocking the wee chap unconscious.  He picks up the leprechaun, who wakes up and begins bemoaning his fate.
    "Oh, no, ye caught me!  I either have to give you me gold, or grant ye three wishes!"
    The American shakes his head. "I don't want anything from you.  I feel bad because I knocked you out, and just wanted to make sure you're all right."  He sets the leprechaun down. 
    The leprechaun says, "No, ye caught me fair and square, I've got ta give you me gold or grant ye three wishes."
    "No, sir, you don't owe me anything," says the man.  "I'm sorry that my golf ball hit you, but I'm glad to see you're all right."  He picks up his golf ball and heads back to the green.
    The leprechaun says to himself, "Well, that's a right fine fellow, that is!  I think I'll grant him three wishes anyway.  Hmmm...  He's a golfer, so I'll grant him great golfing skills.  (snaps his fingers)  And everyone needs money, so I'll grant him all the money he needs.  (snaps his fingers again)  And he's a man, so I'll grant him a good sex life."  (snaps his fingers a third time)
    A year passes, and the American returns to Ireland and is golfing the same course when he slices his ball into the woods.  Going in, he sees the leprechaun sitting on a log.
    "Aye, ye missed me this time!"  chuckles the leprechaun.
    The American smiles.  "I'm glad of that.  How are you doing?"

    The leprechaun responds, "I'm doing right fine.  And yerself?"  He smiles mischievously.  "How goes the golf game?"
    "I've improved so much over the past year," replies the man.  "Why, I think I could even go pro if I wanted."
    "I did that for ye," says the leprechaun with a laugh.  "And how's the money situation?"
    ""It's amazing, I reach into my pockets and always find $100 bills!"  He pauses.  "I'll bet you did that for me, too."
    "Aye, I did," says the leprechaun.  He leers slightly and says, "And how goes it with the ladies?"
    The man blushes.  "One, sometimes two a week."
    "One or two a week?!  That's it?" sputters the surprised leprechaun.
    "Well," says the man, "I am a priest in a small parish..."
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  3. Thanks
    wcw43921 reacted to Hermit in Political Discussion Thread (With Rules)   
    No offense taken, I ask myself the same question. I love a lot about Tennessee, and some not so much. Why Kanye? I don't know who voted for him and I sure don't know why. It could be he has a lot of fans here. It could be some folks don't want to vote for Trump but knew that it wouldn't matter so they perhaps did it as a joke. Forgive the cynicism of "It wouldn't matter", but it was a largely foregone conclusion that Trump would win here. We had record breaking voting going on, no blame to the young Millienals and even younger Gen Zs. I'm sure they made up a great chunk of that 36% that DID go for Biden in the State. But the odds are firmly against Democrats here. 
    Currently, Tennessee is redder than Texas.
    Like anywhere, our cities tend towards blue, the suburban and rural go red , but unlike Texas , we don't have four of the most populated cities in the US. Not like our cities are Podunk, Bodunk, and Dead Skunk, but folks compare them to Dallas , Houston, and Austin and they're on the puny side. That said, we do have folks moving here. A running gag is that Tennessee is the Poor Man's Florida. That is, this is where folks move to retire if they can't afford to live in Florida. This means the older citizenry get an influx, and they tend to vote red.. the "Boomer" effect making red rural and suburbia areas redder still. 
    It's not all gray hairs and old folks rocking on chairs sipping lemonade and going "Awww... it's good to have land"
    We have folks moving here from other parts of the country feeling the 'califorincation' of their old states, or from California itself.  Wanting cheaper places to live, lower rents, no income tax, etc. fewer business restrictions on  whatever enterprise. (TN will bend over backwards for the chance at a new car plant... taxes, fees? NO.. that's for lesser mortals, milord.. not corporations like you)
    Unfortunately for the Democrats...  the Californians were are getting aren't just looking for a cheaper life. Many of them are conservatives who go from a state they feel they have no chance of getting their votes to matter, and coming here where the hardest choice is what FLAVOR of Red they want.  
    Tennessee has , normally, a pathetic voter turn out. Apathy and futility are powerful chains and we are well and truly bound. For all our boasting of the Volunteer state, when it comes to politics we stumble about in a grind. Our state legislature is currently in an iron grip of Republicans, and with Gov. Lee to help them, do their best to make sure the GOP stays in control by little moves like making if you get arrested in a peaceful protest, you can lose your voting rights. That'll teach you to think Black Lives Matter or that you had a freedom of Assembly, you little blue trouble maker you. We've got politicians so firmly affixed lips to ass to good ole boy networks, the State's own upper 5%, and , most of all, corporations determined to hold onto their mafia boss like monopolies. Add to that that Nashville is called the Vatican of the South because the Southern Baptist Union's stronghold is there (They put the FUN in Fundamentalist!) and the other evangelicals, one could make the point our religious zeal is frequently manipulated against our own interests. 
    I have more than once run into a Tennessean who actually likes democratic ideas, even democratic socialist ideas, but they are one issue voters, and believe Abortion is murder-flat out, no wiggle room there. Democrats are seen as 'pro abortion' and thus, cannot be voted for.
    I won't even get into the gun rights headaches.
    So we have this large chunk, but NOT large enough, of 'Not republicans' who feel disenfranchised, hopeless, and helpless. Nothing they do, or say, or think will ever make a difference until the older generation and powerful interests ease their grip. So why not vote for Kanye ? At least it's different. At least it might get noticed, might be worth a joke, or might even piss someone off. Ah,power at last, fleeting, perhaps even petty.
    And, at times, as I stare at a ballot, knowing the best  I can do is make the GOP worry a bit that they didn't get their usual mandate, overWHELMING victory, I can actually understand the urge. 
    That's what's up with my state, Charlie Brown
    *Sighs, drags blanket away*
  4. Haha
    wcw43921 got a reaction from Duke Bushido in Marksman variant   
    I've suggested before that a marksman-type could use a slingshot, the weapon of mischievous little boys everywhere.  Give him various less-than-lethal loads--pepper balls, hard rubber balls, paint for marking a target, flashbangs, etc.--and you're all set.  There's even the perfect name for such a character--The Menace.
  5. Like
    wcw43921 reacted to Pariah in Funny Pics II: The Revenge   
  6. Haha
    wcw43921 reacted to Starlord in Political Discussion Thread (With Rules)   
    So I guess we're waiting to see if this is the end of Avengers Infinity War or Avengers Endgame - Jimmy Kimmel
  7. Thanks
    wcw43921 got a reaction from Pariah in Political Discussion Thread (With Rules)   
    I figure we could all use a good laugh, and this is the best I've seen all Election Day.
  8. Thanks
    wcw43921 got a reaction from Lord Liaden in Political Discussion Thread (With Rules)   
    I figure we could all use a good laugh, and this is the best I've seen all Election Day.
  9. Like
    wcw43921 reacted to Cancer in In other news...   
    EDIT: Source for the regaining of contact
  10. Thanks
    wcw43921 reacted to Logan.1179 in Funny Pics II: The Revenge   
  11. Haha
    wcw43921 got a reaction from Pariah in Funny Pics II: The Revenge   
    If Vincent Van Gogh was Batman.  .  .

  12. Haha
    wcw43921 reacted to archer in Jokes   
    There was a train driver in Bulgaria.
    He loved his job. Driving a train had been his dream ever since he was a child. He loved to make the train go as fast as possible. Unfortunately, one day he was a little too reckless and caused a crash. He made it out, but a single person died.
    Well, needless to say, he went to court over this incident. He was found guilty, and was sentenced to death by electrocution.
    When the day of the execution came, he requested a single banana as his last meal. After eating the banana, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was flown, sparks flew, and smoke filled the air - but nothing happened. The man was perfectly fine.
    Well, at the time, there was an old Bulgarian law that said a failed execution was a sign of divine intervention, so the man was allowed to go free.
    Somehow, he managed to get his old job back driving the train. Having not learned his lesson at all, he went right back to driving the train with reckless abandon. Once again, he caused a train to crash, this time killing two people. The trial went much the same as the first, resulting in a sentence of execution.
    For his final meal, the man requested two bananas. After eating the bananas, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was thrown, sparks flew, smoke filled the room - and the man was once again unharmed. Well, this of course meant that he was free to go.
    And once again, he somehow managed to get his old job back. To what should have been the surprise of no one, he crashed yet another train and killed three people. And so he once again found himself being sentenced to death.
    On the day of his execution, he requested his final meal: three bananas. "You know what? No," said the executioner. "I've had it with you and your stupid bananas and walking out of here unharmed. I'm not giving you a thing to eat; we're strapping you in and doing this now." Well, it was against protocol, but the man was strapped in to the electric chair without a last meal.
    The switch was pulled, sparks flew, smoke filled the room - and the man was still unharmed. The executioner was speechless.
    The man looked at the executioner and said, "Oh, the bananas had nothing to do with it. I'm just a bad conductor."
  13. Haha
    wcw43921 reacted to Logan.1179 in Jokes   
    My wife asked me if I could clear the kitchen table.
    I had to get a running start but I made it!
  14. Haha
    wcw43921 reacted to archer in Funny Pics II: The Revenge   
    According to my sewing instructor, I'm easily the worse student She's ever had...
    Oops... sorry, wrong thread.
  15. Haha
    wcw43921 got a reaction from Lord Liaden in Funny Pics II: The Revenge   
    If Vincent Van Gogh was Batman.  .  .

  16. Haha
    wcw43921 got a reaction from tkdguy in Funny Pics II: The Revenge   
    If Vincent Van Gogh was Batman.  .  .

  17. Like
    wcw43921 reacted to Old Man in Funny Pics II: The Revenge   
    It would have been really NSFW if she'd exposed an ankle in the last panel.
  18. Haha
    wcw43921 reacted to Cancer in Funny Pics II: The Revenge   
    Which is good, because some of the failure modes of rocket pants are frightening to think about.
  19. Thanks
    wcw43921 reacted to Certified in Funny Pics II: The Revenge   
    The accuracy! 

  20. Like
    wcw43921 reacted to Cygnia in Funny Pics II: The Revenge   
    Spoilered for NSFW
  21. Haha
    wcw43921 reacted to Pariah in Funny Pics II: The Revenge   
    The older I get, the more I find myself relating to these guys.

  22. Thanks
    wcw43921 reacted to Twilight in THE WORST SUPERHERO MOVIES OF ALL TIME   
    Ugh, I utterly despised the MCU Spider-man movie.  I actually didn't watch Far From Home because I despised the first one so much, I actually walked out in the middle of it because I disliked it so much.  Barely competent Spidey would be bad enough but condescending abusive Tony Stark was a step to far.  
  23. Haha
    wcw43921 reacted to archer in Jokes   
    How come Batman shampoo exists...
    But not Conditioner Gordon?
  24. Like
    wcw43921 reacted to archer in Political Discussion Thread (With Rules)   
    I don’t know why Donald Trump wants four more years.
    He can’t even handle 60 minutes.
  25. Haha
    wcw43921 reacted to Starlord in Funny Pics II: The Revenge   
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