Pariah

Playing room monitor while someone else administers the ASVAB is not as exciting as, say, watching bread dough rise. But at least I got those labs graded!

Q: You want me to ship the President and Killer Frost together? A: Look at how prettily that bridge burns!

Ahem.... Short answer: Self-policing. (And seriously, how many fans of Motörhead could there be out there, anyway?)

Q: So, you and the Duchess of Eastern Slobovia have a complicated history, no? A: Penguin and Sheepdog.

Pentagon

Or maybe just foreshadowed.

Being in the same room with it was a little disconcerting, Victor thought. He knew there was no reason for him to be concerned. This being had saved the world a dozen times over, often sacrificing its own physical form in the process. Still, there was something...menacing, almost, about it. Victor began to understand the battle Magneto had fought all his life. Everyone, it seemed, was frightened of that which was different. It didn't seem to notice Victor's misgivings, however...or if it did, it wasn't concerned by them "Of course I will help you," it said in its emotionless monotone voice. "My programming mandates that I protect life." "Does that include the lives of the invaders?" "Yes. I will not destroy them. Destruction is not my purpose. Protection is my purpose." "Will you protect the Invaders from us? Will you prevent us from destroying them, if we decide it is necessary to protect our world?" It hesitated to answer for almost a full second. That must seem like an eternity to it, Victor thought. But the response was clear. "I am programmed to protect the people of Earth. If it is necessary for you to destroy the Invaders, I will not stop you. But I will not destroy them for you." "I wouldn't ask you to. Thank you." Protagonist: Mechanon

Celebration

Q: What can you tell me about Spoo? A: Not as much fun as, say, being dipped naked in a tank of liquid helium.

Arrive

Q: Honey, why would you want to make out with William Shatner? A: Half as much money, twice as many oatmeal raisin cookies.

Full beer cans are probably not ideal either.

Spam and eggs. With cheddar and salsa. Wrapped in a tortilla. It's the perfect redneck breakfast. Speaking of Which: Ron White vs. Larry the Cable Guy

Arthritis

Small pieces of talc?

True, the best thing about the Bears' Super Bowl win in the 80s was that it didn't come at the Broncos' expense.

"I'll get right to the point," Victor said. "I need your help." The other man eyed him intently, but said nothing. "I know this isn't the fight you have chosen. You have dedicated your life to peaceful coexistence between mutants and ordinary humans--a battle made all the more difficult by President Kaufman's divisive and hate-fueled administration. That you persist is evidence, at least to me, of the greatness of your character." "Victor...." he began. "I also recognize that you are a man of great power--more powerful than either of us may truly comprehend. I have enormous respect for that. I understand that you are loathe to use your powers, for fear of the damage you may cause, and I respect that, as well. "But this invasion is bigger than any of that. I threatens all of us--mutants, normal humans, and everyone else. Even with the allies I currently have, I don't think we can prevail without you. "So I have come to implore you for aid. I will beg if I must." "Old friend," he said, smiling solemnly, "You need not beg assistance of me. I know what's at stake, for all of us. If Earth is to be saved, we must be the ones to save it. Any aid I can give you, I offer freely." Protagonist: Magneto

Fuzzy dice?

Total Academy Award Nominations for 2018: The Boss Baby: 1 Wonder Woman: 0

I've still never been able to do it.

What Lies Beneath was damn creepy. Third creepiest movie I've ever seen, I'd say. Great performance by Harrison Ford. Speaking of Fords: Ford Prefect vs. Ford Focus

Sledgehammer

And the Avs keep winning! They won 4-2 in Toronto tonight, extending their NHL season-leading win streak to 10 games. Nathan McKinnon (the Avs' only All-Star) is a legitimate Hart Trophy candidate, and backup goalie Jonathan Bernier has yet to lose a game in nine straight starts. I am genuinely perplexed...but definitely not complaining!

If you ever find yourself attacked by a group of clowns, you should definitely go for the juggler. Just stay away from the mimes. They will do unspeakable things to you.

"In the middle of my backswing?!"