Pariah

Q: Why are there pyramids in Egypt?

No takers?

Anyway, here's a bit of news out of KC.

Chiefs, Royals to explore options after blowout loss on sales tax vote in Kansas City

Cone on, guys, work it out! What's half a billion dollars between friends?

"You're in trouble, aren't you, son?"

"Yeah, well, that was my stepdad's ball. I took it without asking. It was signed by Babe Ruth."

"George signed this?"

"George Herman Ruth, yeah."

"I take it back. You're not in trouble. You're dead where you stand!" 

Orange. Orange is good. 

A woman in her late forties starts taking swimming lessons. When her friends ask about her new interest, she says, "My son is dating a girl who's a little insecure. She likes to ask him things like, 'If your Mom and I both fell into the water, who would you save first?' I just want him not to have to worry about that." 

Her son, meanwhile, is having one of those days with his girlfriend. Sure enough, she asks him, "If your Mom and I both fell into the water, who would you save first?"

He replies, "It's not an issue, sweetheart. My Mom is learning how to swim."

She's frustrated. "No, you have to choose! You have to jump in and save one of us!"

He just shakes his head. "Well, then I'm afraid you're probably going to die."

Now she's furious. "What? How can you say that?"

"Because I don't know how to swim, and I know Mom is going to save me before she saves you." 

Sinfully so, almost.

Silverware is closed. 

Oh yeah, I was gonna put up a poll. I'll get right on that. 

Meanwhile, anyone got any ideas for the next one?

On 3/31/2024 at 12:58 AM, Ternaugh said:

Two bits, four bits, six bits, a peso. All for Zorro, stand up and say so!

On 3/31/2024 at 6:06 AM, mattingly said:

"Thank God for small favors!"

"He wears his clothes well. I could never get into his pants."

"I bet I could."

Be the person your dog thinks you are.

14 hours ago, Bazza said:

Anyone get chocolate Easter eggs? 

I got Cadbury Royal dark chocolate mini eggs.

A man who says "I'm sorry" when he knows he's wrong is honest.

A man who says "I'm sorry" when he's not sure he's wrong is prudent.

A man who says "I'm sorry" when he knows he's right is married.

Today's trivia question: What do these nine NFL quarterbacks have in common?

Joe Flacco

Nick Foles

Eli Manning

Peyton Manning 

Jake Plummer 

Dak Prescott 

Mark Sanchez

Matthew Stafford

Ryan Tannehill

"Excuse me, sir. There's been a little problem in the cockpit, and I was—"

"The cockpit? What is it?"

"It's the little room in the front of the plane where the pilots sit, but that's not important right now."

The first game of the UFL season is playing on Fox right now. I turned on the game, and my little girl went nuts. She loves football.

I'm not usually a huge fan of the monocolor look, but Arlington looks pretty good in sky blue. Birmingham would look better if they had gold pants instead of white.

We're about 6 minutes into the first quarter with no score yet. Arlington just got a takeaway. The Birmingham receiver bobbled the pass and it fell right into the defensive back's arms.

Now they're interviewing Deion Sanders on the sideline. I don't really know why.

Spend money on a broadcast package for a team that's going to lose 100 games this year? Tempting. 🙄

Who would?

A tip of the cap to Bazza for this one.

I won't sleep again until I sleep with you
I won't dream again until I dream again with you
My love

One look in your eyes and I see
The light shining through
I truly believe in the magic of all that you do

Give me hope
When I need it
Give me peace
When I feel it
Give me life
When I breathe it
Give me dreams
Keep me dreaming

One look in your eyes and I know
It's right for me and you

Feel the love shine
Feel the love shine
Do you feel the love shine?
Feel the love shine
1234567
All good people

Your flame is the fire that burns in the night
Guiding me through
Drawn out of the darkness and into the light

You bring me to

Give me hope
When I need it
Give me peace
When I feel it
Give me life
When I breathe it
Give me dreams
Keep me dreaming
One look in your eyes and I know
That it's right for me and you

Do you feel the love shine?
Feel the love that shines
Do you feel the love shine?
Feel the love that shines
Do you feel the love?

I won't dream again until I dream again with you
1234567
All good people got to feel the love

I won't sleep again until I sleep again with you
One chance in a million
To find a true love between two
Taken by the powers of what you believe
Knowing you can't lose

Give me hope
When I need it
Give me peace
When I feel it
Give me life
When I breathe it
Give me dreams
Keep me dreaming
One look in your eyes and I know
It was meant for me and you

Do you feel the love shine?
Feel the love that shines
Do you feel the love shine?
Feel the love that shines
Do you feel the love shine?
I won't dream again until I dream again with you
Do you feel the love shine?
I won't sleep again until
1234567
Do you feel the love shine?

Beyond the sun
Beyond the sky
These very questions lie
Starlight
Loving, in a lifetime
It was the first time candlelight
Something happens in your lifetime
It's the dance we all go through
Bring it in now
Bring it in true
Bring it in fast
Bring it right through
Right through
Feel the love shine
1234567

55 minutes ago, Starlord said:

If no one arrives from the future to stop you, then how bad a decision can it really be?

Bad enough that none of them survived it?

An infinite number of $1 bills and an infinite number of $100 bills would be worth exactly the same amount. 

Sadly, I wasn't able to watch a second of it because the MLB Network decided that we would be more entertained by a game in Seattle.

Rockies are down 16-1 to Arizona in the 8th.

What a way to open the new season.

A few hours ago, I was wondering who would.finish closer to the bottom of their league, the Rockies or the Broncos. Now, I'm not really wondering any more.