BoloOfEarth

What he's not telling you is, this is his phone.

IME, 90% of the non-clergy people who spout off about what the Bible says, have hardly (if at all) read it.

A year or more too late, IMO: Former Speaker Kevin McCarthy to resign from Congress at year-end (msn.com)

Rich McGee, all I can say is: Especially loved the reference to the Greatest American Hero. Okay, I've copied down the text and picture, and will absolutely have him appear in my Champions campaign. I'm sure my players will get a kick out of him.

Neither I nor the article said he was releasing all of his holds. As to the final sentence, I didn't figure that was in doubt, but FWIW, I agree.

DEATH. He'll hook a pair of wild boars to a sled and ride around trying to restore faith in somebody called the Hogfather. NT: Once he's done filling in for Santa Clause, what's Death going to do?

A monastery has a rule where the junior monks must take a vow of silence, except for once a year when they may speak two words. After joining the monastery, one monk reaches the end of his first year and may speak his two words. He says, "Bed's hard." A year later, when he can speak his two words, he says, "Oatmeal's cold." The next year, he says, "I quit" and walks out. The head monk (who's allowed to speak freely) says, "No surprise there. He was always complaining."

Frickin' finally! Sen. Tommy Tuberville drops his hold on hundreds of military nominees (msn.com)

Seven figures? I'm guessing Santa wasn't grumpy, sleepy, sneezy, dopey, bashful, or Doc, either.

The Pogo Copter.

You find that you've been moved to Albuquerque.

You realize your name is just "Bystander #5". NT: To save yourself, you decide to give yourself an actual name. What is your new name?

Gah! The dreaded Heart Transplant Song!

It goes farther than debasement. Even past desubbasement.

Tentacles the Warrior claims to be the offspring of the Greek god Jupiter and the female Great Old One, Scathach. He is incredibly strong, unbelievably resilient... and about as bright as a 15-watt bulb.

Warden: Your turn, Johnny. The priest you requested has arrived. "Priest" (actually one of Johnny's gang members): Are you ready, my son? Johnny: I'm ready if you are, father. "Priest" (opens Bible to show Johnny it's hollowed out and holds the ammo drum for a Tommy gun): Dominus obiscum. Nabisco. Es spiritu sanctum. Prisoner #1: So long, Johnny. (passes Johnny part of a Tommy gun) "Priest": They gustuvus. Me gustuvus. You gustuvus. We missed the bus. They missed the bus. Prisoner #2: Be brave, Johnny (passes him another part of a Tommy gun) "Priest": When's the next bus? Johnny: Always, Nails. "Priest": Summa cum laude. Magna cum laude. The radios go loudy. Prisoner #3: Good luck, Johnny (passes him another part of a Tommy gun) "Priest": Semper fidelis. Hi fidelis. Johnny (having a hard time assembling the gun): Why didn't I take shop? "Priest": Post meridian. Ante meridian. Uncle merdian. All the little meridians. Prisoner #4: Goodbye, Johnny (passes him another part to a Tommy gun) Johnny: Bye, Rock. "Priest": The Magna Carta. Master charge-a. Prisoner #5: Spit in his eye, Johnny (passes him final part to a Tommy gun) "Priest": Doom vitalis. Lots of vitalis. (passes Johnny the ammo drum) Warden: Do you have any last words, Johnny? (turns around to face Johnny) Johnny (racks a round into the Tommy gun's chamber and points it at the warden) Warden (raises hands): Well said!

"As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!"

Sure, kill the joke.

But when they try to serve the court summons, it gets instantly shredded...

Elon Musk. To be visited by the ghosts of Christmas Past (Twitter), Present (X), and Future (Bankruptcy).

Woot! We get to see Ted again! And by proxy, Emperor Norton! Bonus points!

A mom is outraged that Moms for Liberty used her daughter in a harebrained scheme to ban a book (msn.com) It seems to me that, if their position is that the book in question is pornographic, then the teacher who asked the student to check the book out of the library should be charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Add her to the sexual offenders list. Just sayin'.

You always wanted one last groove, eh?

Ah, I just read Hermit's latest installment on the Fish Guy thread. It involved Pogo. So that explains Hermit going around the bend. And yes, HERMIT KEEP MAKE WORD THINGS GO!

I gave the latest installment a Like, though it does seem a bit short for a Pogo adventure intro. (I kid, Hermit, I kid.)