slikmar

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Well, 94 is 94, and at that point it can happen at any time.
 
The BEST broadcaster ever.  Period.  
 
 

Vin Scully, iconic former Los Angeles Dodgers broadcaster, dies at age 94

Wife: Stop being an idiot. Just be yourself.
 
Me: Make up your mind.

Considering our collective karma, it's probably best interpreted as just re-presenting the leftovers that no one wants to eat.

The insurance company can probably counter that the heavy rains were an act of God, and aren't covered by the policy.

10-15 years ago I heard a couple radio guys comment that our 2 party system is so opposed to each other that one could come up with the cure for cancer and the other would would stop it from being used just because... I thought they might be exaggerating, they apparently were not.

Not jokes…but funny.
 
Undeniable Adult Truths
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you      just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection, again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1 .7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.
Ladies.....Quit Laughing.

The hilarious gangster spoof Johnny Dangerously has a ton of alternate profanity, as its conceit is that its an older gangster telling the story to kids, so he's censoring himself.  Fargin Icehole, etc

I see no fracking merit to this conversation. 

My Roomba just beat me to a Cheeto I dropped on the floor.
 
This is how the war against the machines begins.

Watched the first ep of The Old Man on HULU. Good so far, will continue. 

As I recall, was sort of trying to setup a new Knight Rider series with the girl on the show taking over the lead, but didnt get enough ratings. They also did one as part of their action pack series, iirc, but it was more set post apocalyptic, I feel like, and wasnt really a knight rider show, more mad max.

A little known outtake from the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode "Relics":
 
Counselor Troi: "How are you enjoying your time aboard our Enterprise?"
 
Scotty: "Oh, she's a wonderful ship, but I can't figure out why the computer sounds like Nurse Chapel."
 
Counselor Troi: "Really? I always thought the computer sounded a lot like my mother."

Well.....
 
Arizona drafts Andruw Jones' kid #2 in the draft...some apparently had him rated #1.
 
He signs for a nice, tidy $8.2M signing bonus.
 
And injures his shoulder during his first MLB batting practice.  
 
Certainly out for the year.  "Unsure" if he'll be ready for the start of spring training next year.
 
Talk about a snake-bit franchise..........
 
In other news, Mike Trout has a rare spinal issue that, from reports, is going to be a problem for the rest of his career.  The stories suggest it's largely manageable...but from the sound of it, it could flare up at any time and cost him time.  It's a couple weeks this time.  Worse, his track record is really bad.  Since the start of the 2017 season, including this one, the Angels have played 806 games;  Trout has played in 460.  Obviously, last year was the worst, but he only played 140 in '18, so that's still missing 15% or so.  And he's out at least for a while as he gets it looked at.
 
It's blindly, foolishly optimistic to expect this will get better, too, as Trout gets older...unless there's some surgical repair option.  Odds are that back surgery lays him out for a year...back surgery tends to need a LONG rehab.

Imagine a soccer player watching? He would figure is a fictional movie.