Cygnia Posted January 29, 2022 Report Share Posted January 29, 2022 This is more on an online gaming forum problem than face to face, especially since I don't know the other players or the GM. But, a D&D game just started, only 3 folks in the party and one player has basically said "I'm not gonna ask anything -- one of you make the decisions". And the other player isn't posting squat. Which leaves me as the last member feeling rather resentful having to carry everyone's asses. What is a tactful way I can bring this up to the GM? It will be in a private message (and no, it's no one here...the problem in question is happening way away elsewhere). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tjack Posted January 29, 2022 Report Share Posted January 29, 2022 Some people just aren’t comfortable leading a group. Especially if it’s a group of strangers like an on-line game. So I can’t really blame the player who admits that right off the bat. I might take issue with the one who doesn’t post at all. Maybe they’re just wanting to go from combat to combat, and not actually roleplay. Either way its not good that you’re getting stuck this way, ruining your experience. Talk to the GM, maybe he can do something you can’t by talking directly to them. Possibly he may know one or both of these players and can give you some advice on dealing with them. Remember this isn’t your job, if you’re not having fun then go someplace else where you will. Tasha, Hotspur, Cygnia and 1 other 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duke Bushido Posted January 30, 2022 Report Share Posted January 30, 2022 I don't know if this is remotely the case, obviously, and I certainly don't know who your problem child is, but it is something I would like for you to consider: You've seen me write, at this point. Recreationally is one thing, and conversationally is another, and they are both hugely long-winded and, I like to pretend, a lot of fun. It doesn't help that I like to create, and I type fast. Because this is a thing that I know about myself, and because I absolutely do _not_ want to be the guy that dominates the conversation and wrecks everyone else's fun (I used to be, back in the late 70s and even into the mid-80s. Then I became a GM and began to see it in other players, and realized the subtle ways it robs others of their good time. As much as I loved my first two GMs, I really wish one of them had spoken to me about it). On the absolutely rare occasion that I do a play-by-post or play-by-email, I tend to do what your problem guy is doing: I announce up-front that I am stepping away from any sort of leadership or party decision-making, and will willingly follow the suggestions of the leaders, whoever they end up being. To white, PBEMGuy-- who we haven't seen in some time-- ran a HERO-converted Top Secret module some time back, and I was part of that. Looking back, even trying to stay reigned-in, I think Brian and I ended up doing most of the "talking" when there was no combat involved. Now in all fairness, it evened out toward the end as other players got more into the swing of things, but still-- I really prefer to not put my character into any sort of spotlight position just because I know my play style, and I know that it can be disruptive. I'm not saying that is the case here, but it _might_ be, and I think it bears considering. Now look just how damned many words it took me to say that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scott Ruggels Posted January 30, 2022 Report Share Posted January 30, 2022 Depending on the game, I will take, or avoid the leadership situations, and in most cases, it's the character I have created. in D&D if I am playing a Paladin, of course I will take a leadership role. If playing a rogue, I wont, and just sort of fade back into the scenery. Being 0nline often removes a lot of the crosstalk that used to be prevalent in face to face games. This can be both a blessing and a curse. Christopher R Taylor and Duke Bushido 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnia Posted January 30, 2022 Author Report Share Posted January 30, 2022 I guess what frustrates me more is, not the IC aspect of it, but rather the complete and utter NOPE! of being asked to contribute to any sort of brainstorming in an OOC fashion. Some folks can't or don't feel comfortable discussing things or plans In Character, but will chat up a storm in OOC threads and trade ideas there. But to respond to a genuine request of "Hey, we should all figure out which way to go/what questions to ask the Oracle/how do we approach John Q. Nobleguy beforehand" with both IC/OOC "Not gonna do anything lol" is headdesk-inducing. Anyway, I broached my concerns with the GM and he's also frustrated with lack of responses from other players, so there is that. Yay? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tjack Posted January 30, 2022 Report Share Posted January 30, 2022 42 minutes ago, Cygnia said: I guess what frustrates me more is, not the IC aspect of it, but rather the complete and utter NOPE! of being asked to contribute to any sort of brainstorming in an OOC fashion. Some folks can't or don't feel comfortable discussing things or plans In Character, but will chat up a storm in OOC threads and trade ideas there. But to respond to a genuine request of "Hey, we should all figure out which way to go/what questions to ask the Oracle/how do we approach John Q. Nobleguy beforehand" with both IC/OOC "Not gonna do anything lol" is headdesk-inducing. Anyway, I broached my concerns with the GM and he's also frustrated with lack of responses from other players, so there is that. Yay? Time to bail out. Tell the GM thanks a lot and if he wants to try again with another group you would be honored to be invited, but it is not up to you to spend your free time and peace of mind trying to get these two nimrods to play nice. Find a group that’s not so much of a hassle. These are not your real world friends around the table who you might be willing to go out of your way to accommodate. These are strangers, and there is no guarantee they will ever decide to change their way of doing things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugh Neilson Posted January 31, 2022 Report Share Posted January 31, 2022 Or make decisions that benefit your character over the others, like what happens in the real world...but you're too nice to do that! Cygnia 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnia Posted January 31, 2022 Author Report Share Posted January 31, 2022 8 minutes ago, Hugh Neilson said: Or make decisions that benefit your character over the others, like what happens in the real world...but you're too nice to do that! Well, the character IS Chaotic Neutral -- and currently invisible. GM is gonna probably have me merge with another game with players that Actually Do Stuff. Tjack 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tjack Posted February 1, 2022 Report Share Posted February 1, 2022 14 hours ago, Cygnia said: Well, the character IS Chaotic Neutral -- and currently invisible. GM is gonna probably have me merge with another game with players that Actually Do Stuff. Good for you, best of luck on the new game. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted February 1, 2022 Report Share Posted February 1, 2022 I feel this is a nonissue. If the players are enjoying the game and are not bringing problems to everyone else, then let them continue with their conjoined gaming. It might even be making things better for both of them both in the short and long run to continue as they are than to break them up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MITSasquatch Posted February 2, 2022 Report Share Posted February 2, 2022 Reminds me some of my current Discord D&D campaign. The power gamer is running a 10 year old celestial lost boy who just at level 13 learned common. The explorer is party leader who is playing a monk with a vow of silence. The chaotic is running a Kenku warlock. Our last session had the power gamer guest GM a snowball fight… A bit a comic relief after the black dragon attack… Tjack 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tjack Posted February 2, 2022 Report Share Posted February 2, 2022 22 hours ago, Asperion said: I feel this is a nonissue. If the players are enjoying the game and are not bringing problems to everyone else, then let them continue with their conjoined gaming. It might even be making things better for both of them both in the short and long run to continue as they are than to break them up. There is no “everyone else”. It’s a three person game and two of them for whatever reason don’t want to do anything and let Cygnia do all the work with no roleplay from either one of them. Even the GM is frustrated with their inaction. If the GM and the one useful player are both tired of dealing with this...then nobody’s paying them to keep these two yahoo’s occupied. Cygnia 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinecone Posted February 8, 2022 Report Share Posted February 8, 2022 On 1/29/2022 at 9:26 AM, Cygnia said: This is more on an online gaming forum problem than face to face, especially since I don't know the other players or the GM. But, a D&D game just started, only 3 folks in the party and one player has basically said "I'm not gonna ask anything -- one of you make the decisions". And the other player isn't posting squat. Which leaves me as the last member feeling rather resentful having to carry everyone's asses. What is a tactful way I can bring this up to the GM? It will be in a private message (and no, it's no one here...the problem in question is happening way away elsewhere). Well...one sure cure I have found is being mindfully foolish.... Or just embrace being the "team leader"...? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duke Bushido Posted February 8, 2022 Report Share Posted February 8, 2022 Turn on them! Draw your weapon and sample random mushrooms! Let the blade sort it all out.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnia Posted February 9, 2022 Author Report Share Posted February 9, 2022 At this point I'm sadly left wondering if the GM will "solve" this by flaking off and ghosting now... 😕 Tasha 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tjack Posted February 9, 2022 Report Share Posted February 9, 2022 5 minutes ago, Cygnia said: At this point I'm sadly left wondering if the GM will "solve" this by flaking off and ghosting now... 😕 Hold your head high, you did more for that beleaguered campaign than anyone else and kept the faith. You did nothing wrong but pick unluckily. Spin the big wheel and try again. Cygnia 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tasha Posted February 10, 2022 Report Share Posted February 10, 2022 On 1/29/2022 at 9:26 AM, Cygnia said: This is more on an online gaming forum problem than face to face, especially since I don't know the other players or the GM. But, a D&D game just started, only 3 folks in the party and one player has basically said "I'm not gonna ask anything -- one of you make the decisions". And the other player isn't posting squat. Which leaves me as the last member feeling rather resentful having to carry everyone's asses. What is a tactful way I can bring this up to the GM? It will be in a private message (and no, it's no one here...the problem in question is happening way away elsewhere). I am used to this in EVERY game I am in. I don't want to give everyone orders, but when I ask for opinions we spend a lot of time not making a decision. It IS frustrating, but if you have the Leader personality, then it's something you will see forever as you game. Cygnia 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnia Posted February 13, 2022 Author Report Share Posted February 13, 2022 GM poked his head out to advance stuff...so now I've poked HIM. Tasha 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tjack Posted February 13, 2022 Report Share Posted February 13, 2022 47 minutes ago, Cygnia said: GM poked his head out to advance stuff...so now I've poked HIM. Have you had any luck finding a different game? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnia Posted February 13, 2022 Author Report Share Posted February 13, 2022 I'm applying elsewhere, but it's like any audition or job hunt these days, y'know? Tasha 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnia Posted February 16, 2022 Author Report Share Posted February 16, 2022 GM's merged me into his other game, waiting on the PCs to post IC (couple did post in the OOC welcoming me). Elsewhere, the leech posted about "losing interest". I tactfully kept my mouth shut. pinecone, Tjack and Duke Bushido 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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