Sundog Posted November 14, 2008 Report Share Posted November 14, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions Q: What would be the scariest last line in a political advertisement? A: Th-th-that's not quite all, folks! Q: What was the tagline for Porky's less successful brother, Perky? A: This particular weapon was the subject of it's very own codicil to the Geneva Convention! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 14, 2008 Report Share Posted November 14, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions A: This particular weapon was the subject of it's very own codicil to the Geneva Convention! Q: Cmon, Sarge! Why won't you let me use the Chicken Gun on the enemy? A: When the sergeant asks you if you want to live forever, the proper answer is YES! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basil Posted November 15, 2008 Report Share Posted November 15, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions A: When the sergeant asks you if you want to live forever, the proper answer is YES! Q: What is one way to prove you have too much common sense to be in the military? A: There are many others, but that one will do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted November 17, 2008 Report Share Posted November 17, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions A: There are many others' date=' but that one will do.[/quote'] Q: How about purple, size 6, and Comic Sans MS? Like this (1)? A: Run that up the flagpole and see who salutes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 17, 2008 Report Share Posted November 17, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions A: Run that up the flagpole and see who salutes. Q: This 'Important Package' for the boss looks suspiciously like lingerie that would fit the new secretary. What shall we do with it? A: Even you couldn't possibly be that stupid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoloOfEarth Posted November 17, 2008 Report Share Posted November 17, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions A: Even you couldn't possibly be that stupid. Q: And what exactly is wrong with wanting another four years of President George W. Bush? A: Sooner or later, they all turn into discussions about gun control, immigration, and fictional lesbian gamers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted November 17, 2008 Report Share Posted November 17, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions A: Sooner or later' date=' they all turn into discussions about gun control, immigration, and fictional lesbian gamers.[/quote'] Q: Why don't people like the stories put out by the current Marvel writing staff? A: The official term for "stupid" is "Absent With Out Leaving". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sundog Posted November 17, 2008 Report Share Posted November 17, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions Q: Why don't people like the stories put out by the current Marvel writing staff? A: The official term for "stupid" is "Absent With Out Leaving". Q: How do you know our political correctness officer has a sense of humour? A: Nowadays he's "Mortally Challenged". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 17, 2008 Report Share Posted November 17, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions A: Nowadays he's "Mortally Challenged". Q: What is it with Abe Lincoln? Why won't he return my phone calls? A: The sign says nothing about pants. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sundog Posted November 17, 2008 Report Share Posted November 17, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions Q: What is it with Abe Lincoln? Why won't he return my phone calls? A: The sign says nothing about pants. Q: You know it's "No shirt, no shoes, no service." A: This is the punchline, the wondrous punchline, that comes at the end of what happened before. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 17, 2008 Report Share Posted November 17, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions A: This is the punchline' date=' the wondrous punchline, that comes at the end of what happened before.[/quote'] Q: Is that the story, the shaggy-dog story, the story that's told by a hideous bore? A: And for the 1,000th page, salmon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basil Posted November 17, 2008 Report Share Posted November 17, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions A: And for the 1' date='000th page, salmon.[/quote'] Q: OK, the young male servants are lined up for lunch. You say you're starting off with egg-salad sandwiches. What else are you dishing out? A: Not too good, actually. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 18, 2008 Report Share Posted November 18, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions A: Not too good' date=' actually.[/quote'] Q: So, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play? A: Not without a time machine, I can't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 18, 2008 Report Share Posted November 18, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions A: Not without a time machine' date=' I can't.[/quote'] Q: Great script! Any chance of getting John Gielgud to star in it? A: One of the few people who still has a job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sundog Posted November 18, 2008 Report Share Posted November 18, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions Q: Great script! Any chance of getting John Gielgud to star in it? A: One of the few people who still has a job. Q: I was fired for disagreeing with the boss! Everybody else walked out in support! What does that make you? A: It's a massive swarm of pliers! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted November 18, 2008 Report Share Posted November 18, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions A: It's a massive swarm of pliers! Q: Whew! I was attacked by tools! Fortunately, I got the saws and chisels to embed themselves in timbers while I dodged. I should ... ohmigawd, what's THAT coming now? A: That was the battery charger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sundog Posted November 18, 2008 Report Share Posted November 18, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions Q: Whew! I was attacked by tools! Fortunately, I got the saws and chisels to embed themselves in timbers while I dodged. I should ... ohmigawd, what's THAT coming now? A: That was the battery charger. Q: Why did your Bull just embed itself in the front of my car? A: I am the man with no name. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 19, 2008 Report Share Posted November 19, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions A: I am the man with no name. Q: Your résumé looks great and all your references check out, but before we hire you to be our new Assistant Regional Manager, could you at least tell us your name? A: Yes, the big plastic prosthetic chest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoloOfEarth Posted November 19, 2008 Report Share Posted November 19, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions A: Yes' date=' the big plastic prosthetic chest.[/quote'] Q: Can you tell us how you refer to Pamela Anderson? A: I'd rather go skydiving without a parachute into a swamp full of alligators. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 19, 2008 Report Share Posted November 19, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions A: I'd rather go skydiving without a parachute into a swamp full of alligators. Q: So, are you planning to see Four Christmases? A: It's gonna rain a month of Sundays. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 19, 2008 Report Share Posted November 19, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions A: It's gonna rain a month of Sundays. Q: Say, Mr. Hopcroft, how's the weather in your part of the country? A: I'll trade both of 'em plus a third-round draft pick for the redhead over there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 19, 2008 Report Share Posted November 19, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions A: I'll trade both of 'em plus a third-round draft pick for the redhead over there. Q: Why shouldn't Hugh Hefner become an NFL owner? A: Some call it heavenly in its brilliance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcus Impudite Posted November 19, 2008 Report Share Posted November 19, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions Q: Why shouldn't Hugh Hefner become an NFL owner? A: Some call it heavenly in its brilliance. Q: Who's idea was it to have that light on all the time; it's to damned bright. A: Of course I did, how else do you think I'd have got into the VIP room? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 19, 2008 Report Share Posted November 19, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions A: Of course I did' date=' how else do you think I'd have got into the VIP room?[/quote'] Q: Did you really take that Verifiably Ill Penguin to the con? A: I tell you this -- no eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the Dawn! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcus Impudite Posted November 20, 2008 Report Share Posted November 20, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions Q: Did you really take that Verifiably Ill Penguin to the con? A: I tell you this -- no eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the Dawn! Q: Dude, why is the church kitchen overflowing with soap suds? A: ...And that's when Yvette slapped him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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