Pariah Posted May 21, 2009 Report Share Posted May 21, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: It was completely shot to pieces! Q - So, how did your paper on Cold Fusion go over at the conference? A - Just because you can't disprove it, that doesn't mean it's necessarily true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted May 21, 2009 Report Share Posted May 21, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A - Just because you can't disprove it' date=' that doesn't mean it's necessarily true.[/quote'] Q: Just because you can't prove a negative, that doesn't mean you should pack as many negatives into your proposition as you can, does it? A: It belongs to the set of all sets that do not contain themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted May 21, 2009 Report Share Posted May 21, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: It belongs to the set of all sets that do not contain themselves. Q: Isn't there a barbershop anywhere in this town? A: When I said we should increase the Global Pirate Quotient to fight Global Warming, this is not what I had in mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted May 22, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 22, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: When I said we should increase the Global Pirate Quotient to fight Global Warming' date=' this is not what I had in mind.[/quote'] Q: Why are you upset at my gathering 10,000 Capt. Jack Sparrow impersonators? A: Personified unbridled contempt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcus Impudite Posted May 22, 2009 Report Share Posted May 22, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions Q: Why are you upset at my gathering 10,000 Capt. Jack Sparrow impersonators? A: Personified unbridled contempt Q: Dude, was that Paris Hilton that just walked by? A:One more smartass comment out of you and I'll stick you in the microwave and press the popcorn button... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 22, 2009 Report Share Posted May 22, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A:One more smartass comment out of you and I'll stick you in the microwave and press the popcorn button... Q - That is the worst tan ever. What did you do, spend all day standing in front of your microwave? A - I'll teach you new levels of pain and suffering. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted May 22, 2009 Report Share Posted May 22, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A - I'll teach you new levels of pain and suffering. Q: What did the prof think of your essay on Fear and Trembling? A: I'm not cut out to be an ecclesiastical thinker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 22, 2009 Report Share Posted May 22, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: I'm not cut out to be an ecclesiastical thinker. Q - What did the Monsignor say about your paper on the virtues of hedonism? A - I really wish I were somewhere else right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fbdaury Posted May 22, 2009 Report Share Posted May 22, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions Q - What did the Monsignor say about your paper on the virtues of hedonism? A - I really wish I were somewhere else right now. Q- Red wire or green wire? A- So that's what one million monkeys with type writers can really write Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Posted May 22, 2009 Report Share Posted May 22, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A- So that's what one million monkeys with type writers can really write Q: Want a New York Times? A: If only they'd let me research. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted May 22, 2009 Report Share Posted May 22, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: If only they'd let me research. Q: This sex manual is stuff everyone knows already. Why couldn't you put in anything new and interesting? A: No chapters about monkeys. None. Ever. Period. You will be shot for even asking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted May 22, 2009 Report Share Posted May 22, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: No chapters about monkeys. None. Ever. Period. You will be shot for even asking. Q: Any special requests for The Complete Idiot's Guide to Barrels? A: I don't know who decided this was supposed to be fun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klytus Posted May 22, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 22, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: I don't know who decided this was supposed to be fun. Q: Why the long face after 2 hours of calisthenics? A: The most bang for my Zork. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted May 22, 2009 Report Share Posted May 22, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: The most bang for my Zork. Q: Why are you crossing text-based adventure games and Video Nasties? A: I can't get my copy of Trillian to work properly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sundog Posted May 22, 2009 Report Share Posted May 22, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions Q: Why are you crossing text-based adventure games and Video Nasties? A: I can't get my copy of Trillian to work properly. Q: So, what's the problem, Zaphod? A: Adding a nuclear warhead is like adding a 2cm spike to the side of a wrecking ball. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted May 22, 2009 Report Share Posted May 22, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: Adding a nuclear warhead is like adding a 2cm spike to the side of a wrecking ball. Q: I was thinking of using an atomic charge on this Red Matter-armed rocket. What do you think? A: You don't want to know what Purple Matter does. Trust me. You just don't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted May 23, 2009 Report Share Posted May 23, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: You don't want to know what Purple Matter does. Trust me. You just don't. Q: I just got this new body cream called Purple Matter. What does it do? A: Silly Rabit, Trix are for kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted May 23, 2009 Report Share Posted May 23, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: Silly Rabit' date=' Trix are for kids.[/quote'] Q: Why hasn't Bugs Bunny seen the dentist in sixty-nine years? A: Maybe it's because your back seat smells like pickles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocMan Posted May 25, 2009 Report Share Posted May 25, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: Maybe it's because your back seat smells like pickles. Q: Why can't I ever get past a first date? A: I learned how to make one at Mediaeval Arts and Crafts. Doc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Posted May 25, 2009 Report Share Posted May 25, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: I learned how to make one at Mediaeval Arts and Crafts. Doc Q: You built a working Iron Maiden? A: It just happens to be what I was thinking with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sundog Posted May 25, 2009 Report Share Posted May 25, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions Q: You built a working Iron Maiden? A: It just happens to be what I was thinking with. Q: So what's the problem, Mr. Bobbit? A: It only exists in the mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted May 25, 2009 Report Share Posted May 25, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: It only exists in the mind. Q: Where is my Googoleplex of Invisible Elves? A: Of course you can't see them -- they're invisible! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 25, 2009 Report Share Posted May 25, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A: Of course you can't see them -- they're invisible! Q - Excuse me, but do you know where I left the keys to the invisible jet? I know I had them in here last, but I just can't see them! A - Tomorrow's not the same as today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted May 25, 2009 Report Share Posted May 25, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions A - Tomorrow's not the same as today. Q: What do you mean I don't get the day off Tuesday? I got today off, didn't I? A: In general practice, it is considered a bad idea to give artificial sweeteners to cattle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcus Impudite Posted May 25, 2009 Report Share Posted May 25, 2009 Re: Answers & Questions Q: What do you mean I don't get the day off Tuesday? I got today off, didn't I? A: In general practice, it is considered a bad idea to give artificial sweeteners to cattle. Q: Why does this milk taste like Sweet N' Low? A: It's rather telling that a Demon Lord is a more competent parental figure than you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.