Cancer Posted July 3, 2015 Report Share Posted July 3, 2015 A: Your Tax Dollars at Play. Q: $1.38 million from Naval Research Laboratories, grant number 15-NAV-088562-23, "Coastal Air Patrol By Porcine Visual Surveillance"? What have you got here?(relevant image here) A: Manfred von Porkrindsoven. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 3, 2015 Report Share Posted July 3, 2015 A: Manfred von Porkrindsoven. Q: That triplane pilot we just pulled from the wreckage looks weird. He also smalls delicious. What does his dog tag say? A: Let me tell you something reassuring then -- you lot don't taste very good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted July 3, 2015 Report Share Posted July 3, 2015 Q: That triplane pilot we just pulled from the wreckage looks weird. He also smalls delicious. What does his dog tag say? A: Let me tell you something reassuring then -- you lot don't taste very good. Q: Why haven't you guys visited Earth? The folks who are looking for alien life are getting discouraged. A: Rotten eggs and sulfur do the trick every time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted July 3, 2015 Report Share Posted July 3, 2015 Q: Why haven't you guys visited Earth? The folks who are looking for alien life are getting discouraged. A: Rotten eggs and sulfur do the trick every time. Q: Why is everyone trying to get into their gas pipes? A: When in doubt - go to coffee. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 4, 2015 Report Share Posted July 4, 2015 A: When in doubt - go to coffee. Q: Time to watch Radar, Dark Helmet. Any plans? A: Congratulations, San Francisco -- you've ruined pizza! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted July 4, 2015 Report Share Posted July 4, 2015 Q: So I hear you're an anti-vegan? A: I cast Evan's Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion. And then I run like hell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcus Impudite Posted July 4, 2015 Report Share Posted July 4, 2015 Q: So I hear you're an anti-vegan? A: I cast Evan's Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion. And then I run like hell. Q: How do you defeat an enraged Anita Sarkesian? A: Neither dogs nor humans are allowed in the dog park. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 4, 2015 Report Share Posted July 4, 2015 A: Neither dogs nor humans are allowed in the dog park. Q: Ducks and geese have too much power over the City Council, you think? A:You think they're cuddly, but I think they're sinister. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkdguy Posted July 4, 2015 Report Share Posted July 4, 2015 Q: Don't you just love left-handed poodles? A: Sometimes, it just doesn't pay to sleep in the bathtub. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 5, 2015 Report Share Posted July 5, 2015 A: Sometimes, it just doesn't pay to sleep in the bathtub. Q: Sorry to see you in the hospital, dude. Just how angry was her husband? A: There are still some things you shouldn't attempt on the Internet, and that was definitely one of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 5, 2015 Report Share Posted July 5, 2015 A: There are still some things you shouldn't attempt on the Internet, and that was definitely one of them. Q - Really, all I was trying to do was reason with my anti-vaxxer sister-in-law. A - Throw a little red paint on it. It'll be fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted July 6, 2015 Report Share Posted July 6, 2015 Q: Well, Ultron just smashed Avengers Tower... how much to repair it, do you think? Under or over a Million? A: There is no such thing as overkill. There is only "Keep Firing" and "I need to reload." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 7, 2015 Report Share Posted July 7, 2015 A: There is no such thing as overkill. There is only "Keep Firing" and "I need to reload." Q: You've emptied three clips into that St Bernard, soldier. There's not much dog left, so shouldn't you stop? A: She'd better take back the Shoes of Doom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted July 7, 2015 Report Share Posted July 7, 2015 Q: Iron Man with Boots of Lead, Fills his Victims Full of Dread... I wonder what his Wife Wears? A: You say that now, but just you wait. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 7, 2015 Report Share Posted July 7, 2015 A: You say that now, but just you wait. Q - I hate waiting! How much longer are you going to make me wait anyway? I'm sick of it! A - Here. Right here. No, not there. Here, stupid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted July 7, 2015 Report Share Posted July 7, 2015 A - Here. Right here. No, not there. Here, stupid. Q: Can I stand on Ground Zero? Can I? Can I? Where is it! I gotta do it! Where is it Where is it Where is it Where is it Where is it Where is it Where is it? A: I'm sorry, they do not sell antimatter refill cartridges for three-D printers. A pity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 8, 2015 Report Share Posted July 8, 2015 A: I'm sorry, they do not sell antimatter refill cartridges for three-D printers. A pity. Q: I ordered my replacement Iludium-238 Explosive Space Modulatooooor weeks ago, and it still hasn't come! Don't you have the parts to let me make my own? A: This innocent deer grazing in the clearing is no match for the jaws of the grizzly bear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mister Trent Posted July 11, 2015 Report Share Posted July 11, 2015 Q: I ordered my replacement Iludium-238 Explosive Space Modulatooooor weeks ago, and it still hasn't come! Don't you have the parts to let me make my own? A: This innocent deer grazing in the clearing is no match for the jaws of the grizzly bear. Q: Dude, have you been watching nothing but nature documentaries all day? A: Unfortunately, Booker and Elizabeth are too busy playing Bioshock Intimate to be much help at the moment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted July 11, 2015 Report Share Posted July 11, 2015 Q: Jealous much, Sheldon? A: I can't help it that you have a face meant for radio. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 11, 2015 Report Share Posted July 11, 2015 A: I can't help it that you have a face meant for radio. Q: Why can't I play Matt Dillon anymore? A: Everybody comes to Rick's sooner or later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted July 12, 2015 Report Share Posted July 12, 2015 Q: Hey, I heard that Rick just got transfered from Taxes to Head Death... I wonder if he's going to change the company tagline? A: I find a certain amount of uncertainty in your certainty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 12, 2015 Report Share Posted July 12, 2015 A: I find a certain amount of uncertainty in your certainty. Q: I am absolutely certain you can stand by your principles: Dr Heisenberg! A: This is not a pipe -- but it certainly looks like one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted July 12, 2015 Report Share Posted July 12, 2015 Q: I am absolutely certain you can stand by your principles: Dr Heisenberg! A: This is not a pipe -- but it certainly looks like one. Q: Why are you trying to connect that electric wire to the water system? A: The dark matter has vanished. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 13, 2015 Report Share Posted July 13, 2015 A: The dark matter has vanished. Q - Why is Americans For A Closed Universe asking me for a donation of five million million kilotons of missing mass? A - I can save the universe in a grain of sand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 13, 2015 Report Share Posted July 13, 2015 A - I can save the universe in a grain of sand. Q: What makes you think Moore's Law has come to its ultimate limits? A: I would love to see this particular piece of technology uninvented -- but it's so darn useful I just can't bring myself to go back in time and do it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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