A Thread for Random Musings

[Hermit]

Re: A Thread for Random Musings

 

I have the entire commune to myself for the week.

 

I feel very zen.

[Mightybec]

Re: A Thread for Random Musings

 

Sometimes I feel like NGD's entertainment director.

[archermoo]

Re: A Thread for Random Musings

 

This song is called Alice's Restaurant, and it's about Alice, and the

restaurant, but Alice's Restaurant is not the name of the restaurant,

that's just the name of the song, and that's why I called the song Alice's

Restaurant.

 

You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant

You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant

Walk right in it's around the back

Just a half a mile from the railroad track

You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant

 

Now it all started two Thanksgivings ago, was on - two years ago on

Thanksgiving, when my friend and I went up to visit Alice at the

restaurant, but Alice doesn't live in the restaurant, she lives in the

church nearby the restaurant, in the bell-tower, with her husband Ray and

Fasha the dog. And livin' in the bell tower like that, they got a lot of

room downstairs where the pews used to be in. Havin' all that room,

seein' as how they took out all the pews, they decided that they didn't

have to take out their garbage for a long time.

 

We got up there, we found all the garbage in there, and we decided it'd be

a friendly gesture for us to take the garbage down to the city dump. So

we took the half a ton of garbage, put it in the back of a red VW

microbus, took shovels and rakes and implements of destruction and headed

on toward the city dump.

 

Well we got there and there was a big sign and a chain across across the

dump saying, "Closed on Thanksgiving." And we had never heard of a dump

closed on Thanksgiving before, and with tears in our eyes we drove off

into the sunset looking for another place to put the garbage.

 

We didn't find one. Until we came to a side road, and off the side of the

side road there was another fifteen foot cliff and at the bottom of the

cliff there was another pile of garbage. And we decided that one big pile

is better than two little piles, and rather than bring that one up we

decided to throw our's down.

 

That's what we did, and drove back to the church, had a thanksgiving

dinner that couldn't be beat, went to sleep and didn't get up until the

next morning, when we got a phone call from officer Obie. He said, "Kid,

we found your name on an envelope at the bottom of a half a ton of

garbage, and just wanted to know if you had any information about it." And

I said, "Yes, sir, Officer Obie, I cannot tell a lie, I put that envelope

under that garbage."

 

After speaking to Obie for about fourty-five minutes on the telephone we

finally arrived at the truth of the matter and said that we had to go down

and pick up the garbage, and also had to go down and speak to him at the

police officer's station. So we got in the red VW microbus with the

shovels and rakes and implements of destruction and headed on toward the

police officer's station.

 

Now friends, there was only one or two things that Obie coulda done at

the police station, and the first was he could have given us a medal for

being so brave and honest on the telephone, which wasn't very likely, and

we didn't expect it, and the other thing was he could have bawled us out

and told us never to be see driving garbage around the vicinity again,

which is what we expected, but when we got to the police officer's station

there was a third possibility that we hadn't even counted upon, and we was

both immediately arrested. Handcuffed. And I said "Obie, I don't think I

can pick up the garbage with these handcuffs on." He said, "Shut up, kid.

Get in the back of the patrol car."

 

And that's what we did, sat in the back of the patrol car and drove to the

quote Scene of the Crime unquote. I want tell you about the town of

Stockbridge, Massachusets, where this happened here, they got three stop

signs, two police officers, and one police car, but when we got to the

Scene of the Crime there was five police officers and three police cars,

being the biggest crime of the last fifty years, and everybody wanted to

get in the newspaper story about it. And they was using up all kinds of

cop equipment that they had hanging around the police officer's station.

They was taking plaster tire tracks, foot prints, dog smelling prints, and

they took twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy photographs with circles

and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what each

one was to be used as evidence against us. Took pictures of the approach,

the getaway, the northwest corner the southwest corner and that's not to

mention the aerial photography.

 

After the ordeal, we went back to the jail. Obie said he was going to put

us in the cell. Said, "Kid, I'm going to put you in the cell, I want your

wallet and your belt." And I said, "Obie, I can understand you wanting my

wallet so I don't have any money to spend in the cell, but what do you

want my belt for?" And he said, "Kid, we don't want any hangings." I

said, "Obie, did you think I was going to hang myself for littering?"

Obie said he was making sure, and friends Obie was, cause he took out the

toilet seat so I couldn't hit myself over the head and drown, and he took

out the toilet paper so I couldn't bend the bars roll out the - roll the

toilet paper out the window, slide down the roll and have an escape. Obie

was making sure, and it was about four or five hours later that Alice

(remember Alice? It's a song about Alice), Alice came by and with a few

nasty words to Obie on the side, bailed us out of jail, and we went back

to the church, had a another thanksgiving dinner that couldn't be beat,

and didn't get up until the next morning, when we all had to go to court.

 

We walked in, sat down, Obie came in with the twenty seven eight-by-ten

colour glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back

of each one, sat down. Man came in said, "All rise." We all stood up,

and Obie stood up with the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy

pictures, and the judge walked in sat down with a seeing eye dog, and he

sat down, we sat down. Obie looked at the seeing eye dog, and then at the

twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circles and arrows

and a paragraph on the back of each one, and looked at the seeing eye dog.

And then at twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circles

and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one and began to cry,

'cause Obie came to the realization that it was a typical case of American

blind justice, and there wasn't nothing he could do about it, and the

judge wasn't going to look at the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy

pictures with the circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each

one explaining what each one was to be used as evidence against us. And

we was fined $50 and had to pick up the garbage in the snow, but thats not

what I came to tell you about.

 

Came to talk about the draft.

 

They got a building down New York City, it's called Whitehall Street,

where you walk in, you get injected, inspected, detected, infected,

neglected and selected. I went down to get my physical examination one

day, and I walked in, I sat down, got good and drunk the night before, so

I looked and felt my best when I went in that morning. `Cause I wanted to

look like the all-American kid from New York City, man I wanted, I wanted

to feel like the all-, I wanted to be the all American kid from New York,

and I walked in, sat down, I was hung down, brung down, hung up, and all

kinds o' mean nasty ugly things. And I waked in and sat down and they gave

me a piece of paper, said, "Kid, see the phsychiatrist, room 604."

 

And I went up there, I said, "Shrink, I want to kill. I mean, I wanna, I

wanna kill. Kill. I wanna, I wanna see, I wanna see blood and gore and

guts and veins in my teeth. Eat dead burnt bodies. I mean kill, Kill,

KILL, KILL." And I started jumpin up and down yelling, "KILL, KILL," and

he started jumpin up and down with me and we was both jumping up and down

yelling, "KILL, KILL." And the sargent came over, pinned a medal on me,

sent me down the hall, said, "You're our boy."

 

Didn't feel too good about it.

 

Proceeded on down the hall gettin more injections, inspections,

detections, neglections and all kinds of stuff that they was doin' to me

at the thing there, and I was there for two hours, three hours, four

hours, I was there for a long time going through all kinds of mean nasty

ugly things and I was just having a tough time there, and they was

inspecting, injecting every single part of me, and they was leaving no

part untouched. Proceeded through, and when I finally came to the see the

last man, I walked in, walked in sat down after a whole big thing there,

and I walked up and said, "What do you want?" He said, "Kid, we only got

one question. Have you ever been arrested?"

 

And I proceeded to tell him the story of the Alice's Restaurant Massacre,

with full orchestration and five part harmony and stuff like that and all

the phenome... - and he stopped me right there and said, "Kid, did you ever

go to court?"

 

And I proceeded to tell him the story of the twenty seven eight-by-ten

colour glossy pictures with the circles and arrows and the paragraph on

the back of each one, and he stopped me right there and said, "Kid, I want

you to go and sit down on that bench that says Group W .... NOW kid!!"

 

And I, I walked over to the, to the bench there, and there is, Group W's

where they put you if you may not be moral enough to join the army after

committing your special crime, and there was all kinds of mean nasty ugly

looking people on the bench there. Mother rapers. Father stabbers. Father

rapers! Father rapers sitting right there on the bench next to me! And

they was mean and nasty and ugly and horrible crime-type guys sitting on the

bench next to me. And the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one, the meanest

father raper of them all, was coming over to me and he was mean 'n' ugly

'n' nasty 'n' horrible and all kind of things and he sat down next to me

and said, "Kid, whad'ya get?" I said, "I didn't get nothing, I had to pay

$50 and pick up the garbage." He said, "What were you arrested for, kid?"

And I said, "Littering." And they all moved away from me on the bench

there, and the hairy eyeball and all kinds of mean nasty things, till I

said, "And creating a nuisance." And they all came back, shook my hand,

and we had a great time on the bench, talkin about crime, mother stabbing,

father raping, all kinds of groovy things that we was talking about on the

bench. And everything was fine, we was smoking cigarettes and all kinds of

things, until the Sargeant came over, had some paper in his hand, held it

up and said.

 

"Kids, this-piece-of-paper's-got-47-words-37-sentences-58-words-we-wanna-

know-details-of-the-crime-time-of-the-crime-and-any-other-kind-of-thing-

you-gotta-say-pertaining-to-and-about-the-crime-I-want-to-know-arresting-

officer's-name-and-any-other-kind-of-thing-you-gotta-say", and talked for

forty-five minutes and nobody understood a word that he said, but we had

fun filling out the forms and playing with the pencils on the bench there,

and I filled out the massacre with the four part harmony, and wrote it

down there, just like it was, and everything was fine and I put down the

pencil, and I turned over the piece of paper, and there, there on the

other side, in the middle of the other side, away from everything else on

the other side, in parentheses, capital letters, quotated, read the

following words:

 

("KID, HAVE YOU REHABILITATED YOURSELF?")

 

I went over to the sargent, said, "Sargeant, you got a lot a damn gall to

ask me if I've rehabilitated myself, I mean, I mean, I mean that just, I'm

sittin' here on the bench, I mean I'm sittin here on the Group W bench

'cause you want to know if I'm moral enough join the army, burn women,

kids, houses and villages after bein' a litterbug." He looked at me and

said, "Kid, we don't like your kind, and we're gonna send you fingerprints

off to Washington."

 

And friends, somewhere in Washington enshrined in some little folder, is a

study in black and white of my fingerprints. And the only reason I'm

singing you this song now is cause you may know somebody in a similar

situation, or you may be in a similar situation, and if your in a

situation like that there's only one thing you can do and that's walk into

the shrink wherever you are ,just walk in say "Shrink, You can get

anything you want, at Alice's restaurant.". And walk out. You know, if

one person, just one person does it they may think he's really sick and

they won't take him. And if two people, two people do it, in harmony,

they may think they're both faggots and they won't take either of them.

And three people do it, three, can you imagine, three people walking in

singin a bar of Alice's Restaurant and walking out. They may think it's an

organization. And can you, can you imagine fifty people a day,I said

fifty people a day walking in singin a bar of Alice's Restaurant and

walking out. And friends they may thinks it's a movement.

 

And that's what it is , the Alice's Restaurant Anti-Massacre Movement, and

all you got to do to join is sing it the next time it come's around on the

guitar.

 

With feeling. So we'll wait for it to come around on the guitar, here and

sing it when it does. Here it comes.

 

You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant

You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant

Walk right in it's around the back

Just a half a mile from the railroad track

You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant

 

That was horrible. If you want to end war and stuff you got to sing loud.

I've been singing this song now for twenty five minutes. I could sing it

for another twenty five minutes. I'm not proud... or tired.

 

So we'll wait till it comes around again, and this time with four part

harmony and feeling.

 

We're just waitin' for it to come around is what we're doing.

 

All right now.

 

You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant

Excepting Alice

You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant

Walk right in it's around the back

Just a half a mile from the railroad track

You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant

 

Da da da da da da da dum

At Alice's Restaurant

 

©1966,1967 (Renewed) by Appleseed Music Inc. All Rights Reserved.

[Doctor Otaku]

Re: A Thread for Random Musings

 

Would be really nice if all the gods, goddesses, and spirits of luck would be kind to me for just this one night...

[Guest Skaramine]

Re: A Thread for Random Musings

 

Apparently watching the premeire of the Shield, Season 4, alone, is now a federal offense. I expect to die in a shootout with the law any minute now.

 

[Logan D. Hurricanes]

Re: A Thread for Random Musings

 

There are no atheists in grad school.

[Bazza]

Re: A Thread for Random Musings

 

all truth is relative

[Bazza]

Re: A Thread for Random Musings

 

Today I kicked the bucket.

What a near-death experience!

 

[Bazza]

Re: A Thread for Random Musings

 

Drechit: Scottish word to describe the weather

To me it could be a good name for a Scottish Thor character

[Bazza]

Re: A Thread for Random Musings

 

is it just coincidence that evil is live backwards?

Good question for the HERO board.

[Bazza]

Re: A Thread for Random Musings

 

definition of knowledge: meaningful gibberish

[AliceTheOwl]

Re: A Thread for Random Musings

 

I missed the discussion about Alice's Restaurant. Dammit.

 

That was the . . . fourth thing I was named after, I think. Let's see . . . there was a great-aunt on my mother's side, a many-greats aunt on my dad's side (who my grandmother had a portrait of, which she left to me when she died). Then there was the book, the song ("White Rabbit," Jefferson Starship), then good ol' Arlo Guthrie's song. So that's five.

 

I went to where Alice's Restaurant used to be. It's this small town in western Massachusetts. There was a Greek restaurant when I visited. Very small, narrow, kinda cramped.

 

And the directions in the song are correct - or were, anyway. We followed them exactly.

[Savinien]

Re: A Thread for Random Musings

 

I missed the discussion about Alice's Restaurant. Dammit.

 

That was the . . . fourth thing I was named after, I think. Let's see . . . there was a great-aunt on my mother's side, a many-greats aunt on my dad's side (who my grandmother had a portrait of, which she left to me when she died). Then there was the book, the song ("White Rabbit," Jefferson Starship), then good ol' Arlo Guthrie's song. So that's five.

 

I went to where Alice's Restaurant used to be. It's this small town in western Massachusetts. There was a Greek restaurant when I visited. Very small, narrow, kinda cramped.

 

And the directions in the song are correct - or were, anyway. We followed them exactly.

 

 

Adventure is what you make it.

 

Kudos to the owl family for that insightful excursion!

[rebeccared50]

Re: A Thread for Random Musings

 

Don't you love it when Fate designs to give you some time off, then gives you a bunch of stuff to do to fill it with? ya

[James Gillen]

F*** the DMV

 

Yesterday I paid 1200 bucks for a 10-year old car to replace the car I have, which is old enough to go to the prom.

 

Today I had taken 300 bucks out of the bank to get all the registration I needed. I thought it would be enough.

 

First I spent $20 to get it smog-checked. No problem.

Then I came to the DMV- under the impression from their website that I only needed the original title and the smog certificate before getting insurance, only to find out that they needed the car to be insured first. So I had to get a 'head of the line' paper and leave to go to my insurer and put this car on my policy. That cost another $24. But no problem.

 

Then I go back, and find out from a second clerk that I can't transfer the plates from the old car like I wanted because its registration is suspended. This was because it had been in my Mom's name in addition to my own. Since my Mom is now too ill to drive a car, and rarely drove mine anyway, we agreed a couple of months ago to revise my insurance policy so mine was the only name. Last month she got a cancellation notice on the registration. AT THE TIME, we went to the DMV help desk and the people there said that the registration would still be valid as long as one of the people on the original registration (namely me) was on the insurance policy, the registration was still valid. Well, I tell that to this clerk and she said, "I don't know who told you that, but they told you wrong." So I asked, "What do I need to do to clear that?" She said, "The fine is $250." I said, "I'm a little shy."

 

I get the distinct impression that they spring these things on you after the fact to make you pay fees you otherwise wouldn't be liable for. For instance, last year when I get pulled over out of the blue on the grounds that my plates have expired. I went to the DMV to get a renewal, and I say, "Why didn't I get a notice of renewal in the mail?" They said, "A renewal notice is a courtesy."

 

[Yeah, as in it WOULD HAVE been a courtesy if I'd GOTTEN one.]

 

So today I table the fine on the old car and ask, "What's the total fee for registering this one?" She totals it up and says, "$296."

 

TWO

HUNDRED

NINETY

SIX

DOLLARS.

 

For a visual: Take a three-foot cactus out of the ground. Cut off one end and attach to a blender motor. Shove the other part of the cactus directly up my ass. Hit "PUREE."

 

I'm like, "If I didn't have $250 for the fine, I wouldn't have $300 for this." I check my pockets- after the other fees I needed to pay, I have $256, and I'm 40 shy.

 

She says, "Do you have a credit card?"

"No I don't."

I ask, "Do you have an ATM machine on site?"

She says, "No, sir."

[No of course not, you mind-numbed Nazi robot. That would be CONVIENIENT. We just can't HAVE that.]

"Do you have a doctor's office where I could give you a few pints of my blood? Maybe gimme a sigmoidoscopy while you're at it??"

"I can't help you, sir."

 

So I had to go out of the DMV- again- and go to the nearest 7-Eleven for an ATM withdrawal, so now I've got less than $300 in the bank. I mean seriously, given that half of the people I saw in the DMV were mothers escorting two or three children under the age of 2, wearing "Harley Davidson" T-Shirts, I don't think they make their standard payments with American Express F'n Gold Card.

 

EVENTUALLY I got back for a third trip with a third clerk and paid the $296- which with the non-DMV fees is about equal to my weekly wage. I got out at 2:30 pm. I could've gotten it done by 1 if they hadn't kept throwing surprise BS on me.

 

Crap like this is what turns people into Republicans. A long time ago, a local writer described socialism as being a system where everything you do, from buying groceries to filling your gas tank, feels like a trip to the DMV. That's enough reason to hate it.

 

 

On the other hand, all that red meat that's been lodged in my intestinal tract since junior high is flushed out now.

 

JG

[James Gillen]

Re: A Thread for Random Musings

 

QUOTE OF THE DAY: ""If you analyze it I believe the very heart and soul of conservatism is libertarianism. I think conservatism is really a misnomer just as liberalism is a misnomer for the liberals -- if we were back in the days of the Revolution, so-called conservatives today would be the Liberals and the liberals would be the Tories. The basis of conservatism is a desire for less government interference or less centralized authority or more individual freedom and this is a pretty general description also of what libertarianism is." - Ronald Reagan, Reason Magazine interview, 1975

 

This was quoted in a TechCentral Station online column that was also quoted by both Instapundit and Andrew Sullivan.com. Andrew's comment:

"Ah, those were the days."

[AliceTheOwl]

Re: A Thread for Random Musings

 

I'm thinking of getting some . . . . interesting clothing, and am torn between http://www.hipsandcurves.com/x20018.htm (in red) and http://www.hipsandcurves.com/emv6108.htm.

 

Hmm.

[Guest Skaramine]

Re: A Thread for Random Musings

 

I'm thinking of getting some . . . . interesting clothing, and am torn between http://www.hipsandcurves.com/x20018.htm (in red) and http://www.hipsandcurves.com/emv6108.htm.

 

Hmm.

Guys... are we gonna send donations if Alice deigns to be so generous as to pose?

[Guest Worldmaker]

Re: A Thread for Random Musings

 

I just spotted a mistake in the Hudson City book.

 

Its not a large mistake, but it is a mistake that could have been easily fixed had Steve actually asked someone... like me, for example.

 

Nobody... and I mean nobody at all... goes from being a waiter to being sous-chef in a restaurant. Nobody. Any executive chef who did that is crazy... you just don't put untested people in a sous-chef position.

 

While the book says that "sous-chef" means "assistant chef", "assistant" in this case is used in the same manner "executive officer" means "assistant commander". A sous-chef is the day-to-day manager of the kitchen. Its his job to make sure all of the dishes are prepped and ready to go on time, that sanitary standards are met, that employees aren't lollygagging, to make sure the plates all look like they should, that all the line cooks have the ingredients they need... plus to take the spot on the line of anyone who had the bad karma to not show up at all that day.

 

In short, the sous-chef is under almost as much pressure as the executive chef, and must be someone whose abilities have been tested in the pressure cooker of a fully operational commercial kitchen. You just don't let someone walk in off your wait staff and hand them your kitchen unless you like playing Russian Roulette with your business.

 

I know its just a nit, but its a personally pertinent nit.

[rebeccared50]

Re: A Thread for Random Musings

 

Send me to an interview and I'll get a job.... it must be the red-hair...

[zornwil]

Re: A Thread for Random Musings

 

If anyone is looking for a job and has qualifications for an Internet Marketing Communications Mgr job and is willing to work in Portland, OR, PM me.

[Guest Skaramine]

Re: A Thread for Random Musings

 

www.coldwinter.com

 

I have found my Shangrila. And they issue Heckler and Koch USP's at the door.

[gewing]

Re: A Thread for Random Musings

 

I've been meaning to post this for two weeks.

 

last week we rented "Porco Rosso" and "The cat returns"

 

I loved them. I liked them better than Spirited away, or Princesss mononoke, or any of his other stuff I've seen.

 

Not by a HUGE margin, but...

 

SO this week we bought both of them and the new release of Nausicaa at costco, and are sending in for the freebie of Totoro.

 

 

 

And I got the Incredibles and The long Kiss Goodnight this week. Life is getting better.

[Guest Skaramine]

Re: A Thread for Random Musings

 

Glenn Close is still damned tasty. This is going to be a good year on the Shield.

[lemming]

Re: A Thread for Random Musings

 

Good day for jobs. Jenn got a position at the new Z Gallery. Nice bit of news on her birthday. Decent benefits and a slight raise in pay. Though we're betting the job that Jenn really wants will materialize just before she's supposed to start. That should make it interesting.

 

On my end, the hunt continues. Month 8.

 

I did talk with someone about a contract that while I could probably do the work, I don't have the experience they wanted. The guy thought the recruiter might have something for me next week.

In the meantime I finished up a mini-contract (10 hours) with the possibility of some more. If I can pull in just a week's worth, that's one month of mortage. This month we've stopped paying the credit cards, last month the mortage gets paid. Interesting talking with the Bankruptcy attorney. I may have to retain them just so I can refer the credit card companies to the lawyer. I've already told them, no money. Still they call every day. Citicard is the worst. They call constantly. Today, five times. Unethical as heck, but I want to figure out how to pay off the student loan with the Citicard. There's enough room on it... Then we declare bankruptcy. (Not sure if that would actually work. Figures there's some sort of closed loophole there)

 

That and the stress of someone who's very important to the cat shelter went in for heart surgery. The doctor saw her last week and said "you need surgery next week"

There were complications, but she pulled thru. Her heart stopped while she was in the recovery room and restarted itself 20 seconds later.

I'm hoping she listens to her doctor and doesn't exert herself, but it's probably going to take a rope and the rest of the volunteers.