Re: Jokes
RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
1. Two times a week we go to a nice Restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.
3. I take my Wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. I asked my Wife where she wanted to go for our Anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the Kitchen.
4. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
5. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
6. My Wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."
7. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
8. She ran after the Garbage Truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The Driver said, "No, jump in!"
9. REMEMBER: Marriage is the Number One Cause Of Divorce.
10. I married MISS RIGHT. I just didn't know her FIRST NAME was "ALWAYS."
11. I haven't spoken to my Wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
12. The last fight was my fault though. My Wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"
13. I met my Wife on a Cruise Ship. Boy was I surprised. I thought she was at home.