Marcus Impudite

Re: Make Your Own Motivational Poster Here's one I recently did in honor of election season:

Re: Genetically engineered leaders? If you want to go the rubber science route, maybe. From a more realistic standpoint, the true root of the problem isn't anything genetic engineering can fix.

Re: Answers & Questions Q: What's in the spice rack in the TARDIS's kitchen? A: "Ha, ha, ha! Let's see you solve this one by reversing the polarity..."

Your character has just been involved in an epic battle for the fate of the Multiverse...in Dark Realm, the domain of the Shadow Lord no less. The dark one has been vanquished, the Heart Of The Abyss gemstone that was both the source of his power and the true core of his being is smashed into shards. But no sooner does His Royal Spookiness go poof from existence than all of Dark Realm begins to tremor. That's right, it turns out the Shadow Lord was a load-bearing boss. As your character and company flee for their lives, The Palace of Eternal Shadow, the jagged mountain of black stone it sat atop, and the surrounding area are all beginning to crumble. All around them, Shadow Wraiths and assorted other former minions of the Shadow Lord are either perishing as their dimension is coming apart at the seams, or opening Shadow Gates in an attempt to escape. Mere meters ahead, a gaggle of Shadowings and Lesser Wraiths have opened a gate and gone through. It looks like your character and his/her comrades might just make it in before it closes if they go for broke. The catch is, they have no way to know for sure what destination the wraiths selected when they opened the gate, so it's luck of the draw as far as where they'll come out on the other side... WWYCD?

Re: Answers & Questions Q: What's the difference between real life and a first-person shooter? A: Warning: Many of the characters depicted in this series frequently engage in activities that are immoral, illegal, dangerous, and in some cases physically impossible. Attempting to emulate their behavior may result in expulsion from school, termination of your employment, arrest and incarceration, serious bodily harm, death, and/or eternal damnation. In short, don't try this at home...

Re: Jokes A depressed-looking fellow walks into a bar and orders scotch on the rocks. After watching him down four shots and sit there staring at the floor, the bartender asks him "Hey pal, you alright?" The man replies "I just walked in on my wife doing my best friend tonight." "I'm sorry to hear that," The bartender says sympathetically. "So, what did you do?" "I told that two-timing whore to pack up her things and get out." The man says. "I'll be filing for divorce in the morning." "Good for you buddy, sounds like a sensible way to handle the situation." The bartender pats the man's shoulder. "So what did you say to your friend?" "I said, 'bad dog, that's a very bad dog...'"

Re: Answers & Questions Q: Dude, why's there a giant lizard in your cubical? A: That's what she said...

Re: Answers & Questions Q: Kinda hot here on the surface of the sun, isn't it? A: Kids, don't try this at home... do it at a friend's house instead.

Re: Jokes Joe walks into his favorite bar and grill and notices they have a midget playing a piano in place of the karaoke machine. He asks the manager, Frank, "Since when can you afford to hire live entertainment?" "Well, I sort of wished for him from the magical wishing tree out back." Frank replied. Joe looked at him quizzically and then said, "There's no such thing." "Come on," Frank said. "I'll show you." They go out back to the tree, and Frank tells Joe, "Go ahead, make a wish." Joe smirked and then said, "Okay, I wish I had a million bucks." Suddenly, a massive flock of ducks came flying out of a knot hole in tree, one million in all. Joe shakes his head and looks at Frank. "This magic tree of yours doesn't quite work right." Joe complained. "Tell me about it," Frank sighed. "Do you honestly think I'd wish for a three foot pianist?"

Re: Escaped Amorphoid For those who would ask for more info on the creature: Eating Habits: It's an omnivore with a sweet tooth. Turns out shortly before it departed the lab complex, it got into the 4th floor staffroom vending machines, devoured several candy bars and guzzled about 6 cans of cherry cola before going down the sink. (the surveilance system caught the creature on tape during its sugar binge)

Re: "Normals" gaining superpowers: how would they change in terms of mentality?

Re: "Normals" gaining superpowers: how would they change in terms of mentality? Might be handy, depending on how much control you have over the power. If you cannot easily turn it off... well, just imagine the most annoying, overly chatty person you have ever had the misfortune of being in earshot of and then imagine them in your head 24/7. You'd probably be chewing on a gun after a week to a month of that. If I had that ability, I would be constantly conjuring 10 lb. bricks of gold. Never need to work for a living again. If agelessness comes with it, I'll brush up on my swordsmanship. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Much more practice than flight. The key is to make sure you 'port yourself into some nice private place you can come out of without drawing too much attention (the appropriate restroom for your gender, a clothing store's changing room, etc.), to just suddenly materialize out of thin air in plain veiw of the public, bad idea. No more need for binoculars, nightvision goggles, or evesdropping devices; you have it all built in.

Re: Answers & Questions Q: Welcome back, how was Jury Duty? A: "Dammit Rudolph, I said 'land us on the Schmidt house.'"

Re: A Thread for Random Videos While I agree that the finale to Quantum Leap was indeed a Wall Banger, at least Sam didn't have to suffer the indignity of being stepped on by an invisible dinosaur. Can you say "Dropped A Bridge On Him" boys and girls?

Re: A Thread for Random Videos Ah, M.A.N.T.I.S.... Worst. Series. Finale. Ever. It would've been far more merciful to just cancel it and let us remember the series at its high points. But no...

(You'll need a d6 for this one) Helpless Holly, the campaign's perennial damsel in distress, has once again blundered into the clutches of some dastardly villain. This time you arrive at said villain's hideout to find Holly being suspended by a crane over a large transparent tank containing... (roll your die) ...A shark with a frickin' laser attached to its head. ...A school of ill-tempered mutated sea bass. ...An anaconda. ...Several hungry-looking crocodiles. ...Electric eels. ...A tentacle monster. As you enter, the villain sneers at you, presses the red "RELEASE" button on the crane's remote control, and takes off running. WWYCD?

Re: Answers & Questions Q: "Welcome to Lake Of Fire Downs. Do you want to put some money on today's favorite, Inferno Hooves?" A: He just found out his daughter's dating a tentacle monster.

Description: This one's dual purpose: it can be used both as a death trap that literally chills victims to the bone, and as a walk-in freezer for your lair's chow hall. Lock your foes in here with several sides of beef hanging from hooks for good measure. (especially if they're vegans ) Deep Freeze: Change Environment, 8 hexes, -5 Temperature Levels, Reduced Endurance (0 END; +½), Uncontrolled (stopped by base-wide power failure; +½), (70 Active Points); Only Within Defined Area (8 hex chow hall freezer; -2*). Cost: 23-points. *Assumes a base size of 320 hexes or greater, adjust limitation value and item cost for smaller bases.

Description: An air-tight transparent cube with a hatch in the top and connected via hoses to a number of large tanks of poisonous gas. Gas Cubicle: RKA 1d6, NND (defense is Life Support [self-Contained Breathing or Appropriate Immunity]; +1), Does BODY (+1), Area of Effect (1 Hex; +½), Continuous (+1), (67 Active Points); OIF Immobile (-1½), No Range (-½), 1 Continuing Fuel Charge lasts 1 Hour (-0), Gradual Effect (every Minute; -½), Only Versus Victims Put Into The Chamber (-¼). Cost: 18 points. Evil League of Evil Approved.

Re: Death Traps #1: The Piranha Tank (5th) Which accounts for how they became ill-tempered.

Re: Death Traps #1: The Piranha Tank (5th) Then just count his Aquatic Telepathy and/or similar powers as an addition stop condition for the Uncontrolled advantage if you wish.

Re: Death Traps #1: The Piranha Tank (5th)

Re: Death Traps #1: The Piranha Tank (5th) Reasoning from effect. What's the purpose of a piranha tank boys and girls? That's right, to kill someone slowy and horribly. Yes, you could buy the school of piranha as a Follower, but for purposes of a death trap this is what I consider the best approach. Ask Susano about the wasp swarm RKA he wrote up for a character from Ninja Scroll a while back.

Description: A large, transparent plastic tank; filled with water and holding a school of ill-tempered, mutated piranha. Handy for disposing of meddling do-gooders and/or executing minions who have failed you for the last time. Piranha Tank: RKA 1d6, Area of Effect (1 Hex; +½), Armor Piercing (+½), Continuous (+1), Reduced Endurance (0 END; +½), Uncontrolled (stopped by draining the tank or doing anything else that would kill the fish; +½), (60 Active Points); OIF Immobile (-1½), No Range (-½), Only Versus Victims Tossed Into The Tank (-¼). Cost: 18-points Unnecessarily Slow-Moving Dipping Mechanism sold seperately.

Re: What's different about YOUR Champions Unvierse? Just off the top of my head: DEMON: Luther Black was assassinated. The remaining members of the Inner Circle are now engaged in infighting over who will fill the power vacuum Mr. Black left behind. VIPER: Still licking its wounds after the King Cobra incident (see Sharper Than A Serpent's Tooth). UNTIL: Agents of UNTIL are allowed on U.S. soil provided they're careful not to step on the toes of PRIMUS, the FBI, and/or any other domestic law enforcement agencies. Tyrannon The Conqueror: There's been a major power shift in Thulkos ever since an unknown group of intruders from Earth's dimension released the Ka Lin sun gods from their prisons. More and more Thulkosians everyday are abandoning worship of Tyrannon and forming or joining new cults with one or more of the Ka Lin gods as patron(s), especially since none of them demand the bloodly sacrifices he does. As for Tyrannon himself, he's starting to look rather ashen in all of his forms as his pool of worshippers continues to shrink.