L. Marcus

It's Pi Day.
 
On the down side, Stephen Hawking passed away earlier today.
 
On the up side, it is Albert Einstein's birthday.
 
And on the very up side, for the first time this century, I've been offered a multi-year contract.

Perhaps you fine folks here haven't heard about it, but the tiny football club Östersund beat Arsenal on Arsenal's home turf. 1-2 in the second match in R32 in the Europa League. Too bad Östersund lost 4-2 on aggregate, but one can't have everything. 

"Cubs, shmubs, I'm adorable too! See?"

"I'm warm and being carried while you have to walk in the cold. THHHHP!"

Perhaps you fine folks here haven't heard about it, but the tiny football club Östersund beat Arsenal on Arsenal's home turf. 1-2 in the second match in R32 in the Europa League. Too bad Östersund lost 4-2 on aggregate, but one can't have everything. 

Winter Time is the standard time! You want longer, brighter summer evenings? Go to bed earlier -- it's the same thing!

What? Makes serfect pense.

Ongoing reentry window updates for Tiangong-1

Wotta waste, when they could've given it all to me.

Where do I post stuff like this?
 

Meanwhile, because it doesn't belong in the funny thread:
 

Mom! Dad! Don't make me choose! :

I am... SARCASMAN!
 
Like I need to tell you that.

Saw it online...posted it on my classroom door
 
Typoman
 
Writer of Wrongs

Hoongarian.

A-THUNKA-THUNKA-THUNKA-THUNK!!

An explosion last week killed a wild-living navy boiler man and he found himself in Hell. Being used to stoking fires and extremely hot temperatures, he found hell actually quite comfortable.
 
When Satan went to check out the new arrival, he found him sitting in his room smiling.
 
“You like this?” Satan asked.
 
“Yes, sir,” said the sailor, “this feels like a spring day to me.”
 
Not wanting the new guy to be too comfortable, Satan turned up the heat a bit.  When he went back the next day to see how his new arrival was doing, the sailor was still happy; he hadn’t even broken a sweat.
 
“I like this kind of weather,” he told Satan.
 
For the next few days, Satan turned up the heat more and more, but each day the Sailor looked as comfortable as ever.  By Sunday, Satan decided to try something different. Rather than turn up the heat even more, he turned it off and turned on the air conditioning. Icicles formed in the sailor’s room! When he checked on the guy, the room was icy and he was shivering, but he had a grin from ear to ear, bigger than ever.
 
Satan was exasperated! “Why are YOU so happy?” he demanded from the sailor. “It’s FREEZING in here!”
 
“Well, I’m from Cleveland," said the sailor, “and evidently the Browns just won the Super Bowl!”

Procrastination Man -- The Man Of Tomorrow!

Last night's D&D game, our party finds the cavern where a white dragon is hanging from the ceiling over his (frozen-in-ice) horde. 

Player 1:  Does the dragon see us?
DM:  Yes.  It's looking at you.
Player 2:  Should we roll initiative? 
DM:  Not yet.  It's waiting to see what you're going to do.
(long pause as nobody wants to set things in motion and get us all killed)
Player 2:  Okay, well, maybe I should walk into the room.  (bored tour guide voice)  And here, we have the dragon's chamber.  You'll note the horde - feel free to add to it as you go through.  Next on our tour is the southern tunnel...
Player 3:  And we're walking... we're walking...

I'm still on the STI part.