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teh bunneh

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  1. Like
    teh bunneh got a reaction from Old Man in I have a dream. (and MAN was it wierd!)   
    Re: I have a dream. (and MAN was it wierd!)
     
    Bah. You look better without that gigantic ugly snoot anyway.
  2. Like
    teh bunneh got a reaction from Hermit in Quote of the Week From My Life.   
    Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.
     
    More excitement from my evening at Venice Beach!
     
     
    A note: When I travel, I keep my little white stuffed bunny in my backpack, poking his head out the top. He generally faces behind me.
     
    This crazy homeless guy is walking along the beach at about the same pace as I am. I'm listening to him as he keeps up this steady patter of dialog with himself, not hardly even stopping for breath. Mostly it's nonsense, just a random string of words, but some of it was about how white people are keeping him down. Then I pass him...
    Crazy Homeless Guy (walking behind me) Ohhhh, there it is. A rabbit! And a white one! I knew it was gonna come to this, I always knew it, deep down. It had to come to this. There he is, glaring at me, staring at me. They say you shouldn't be afraid of a rabbit, but I know. I know, and he knows, and that's why he's watching me. He doesn't even blink. Goddamn, that is creeping me out, how he doesn't blink! I always knew it would come to this, and now here it is. I'm scared, and I'm not afraid to say it. White-ass rabbit!
     
     
     
    Black Guy Selling Something: Hey, bro, you look like a pretty cool guy!
    Me: Uh... I'm a middle-aged white dude. How could I possibly look cool?
    Black Guy: [pause] Well... um... your shirt is pretty cool.
     
     
     
    Rasta Selling Something: Hey, mon!
    Me: (walking past) Jah love, mon.
    Rasta: Irie, mon! Rastafari?
    Me: No, mon. Not even a little bit. Jah don't love me. Look at me. I'm the oppressor!
    Rasta: (laughing) OK, yeah. 'scool, mon.
    Me: (laughing) One love, mon. Peace.
     
     
     
    Guy Trying To Sell Me Something: I just need $5.
    Me: Are you married?
    Guy: What?
    Me: Are you a married man?
    Guy: No, man, I ain't married.
    Me: I knew that -- because if you were married, you'd know that my wife gave me $5 when I left the house this morning, and she said that this was all the money I got to spend today. And since I had lunch earlier, that means I already spent it.
    Guy: Oh.
    Me: And if I spend any more than that, then I will be sleeping on the beach tonight.
    Guy: Uh huh. Well...
    Me: And I'm pretty sure I don't want to do that, know what I mean? So, thanks but no.
     
     
     
    There were more "medical" marijuana places per square foot along Venice Beach than I'm pretty sure there are anywhere else in the entire world, combined. There's a cute girl in a white doctor's coat (and short-shorts, and sandals) standing outside of one...
    Me: So are you a real doctor?
    Her: What we do is, you come in and we evaluate your symptoms to see if you can qualify for a prescription.
    Me: What if I told you that my symptoms are "I'm not completely and utterly stoned right now"?
    Her: (hesitating) Well...
    Me: That wasn't a "no"!
    Her: Well, you need to have legitimate symptoms -- glaucoma, back pain, stress...
    Me: So, being sober isn't really a symptom?
    Her: (hesitating) No... not really. But if you have anything else...
    Me: Nope. Apart from that, I'm good. But thanks!
     
     
    Homeless guy on a bicycle is pacing me, staring at me. Then…
    Guy: You’ve got a rabbit!
    Me: Yes, I do.
    Guy: Can… Can I pet him?
    Me: Sure, go for it.
    Guy: [pets the bunny] He’s soft! And… ow! He bit me!
    Me: Well, you probably upset him, is all.
    Guy: I know two people who’re named “Bunny.” One’s a drummer in a band, and one’s in a wheelchair.
    Me: Well, now you know three, ‘cause that’s what people call me, too.
    Guy: No way! You’re named Bunny? My name’s David.
    Me: Pleased to meet you, David.
    Guy: I am really high right now.
    Me: Yes, I can tell.
    Guy: See, my doctor has me on Paxil, but my buddy had some extra Wellbutrin so I took some. 30 milligrams, man, and I am flying. I am just in a crazy good mood, you know? It’s like, the whole world opened up. I am literally flying.
    Me: Uh huh.
    Guy: It’s like, I want to sleep but I’m already dreaming, you know? Am I making sense? I don’t even know if I’m making sense.
    Me: Yeah, I grok you, man.
    Guy: See, I knew you would! I knew you’d know what I was talking about when I first saw you.
    Me: That’s me, man. One with the universe.
    Guy: Me too! Me too! So I accidentally took too much of the Wellbutrin, right? Three days in a row.
    Me: Three days in a row doesn’t sound like it was an accident to me, bro.
    Guy: No, but hear me out. I went to my doctor and told him to put me on that stuff too, and he gave me 10mg. I think next week I’m going to go back to him and try to get him to up the dose to 20. And then to 30. Because this stuff is good, you know?
    Me: I can see that.
    Guy: So my buddy’s got some extra, and he’s sharing it with me until I can get my new prescription.
    Me: I can see that he’s a good friend.
    Guy: The best, man, the best. Anyway, I gotta go! My name’s David!
    Me: See ya around, David. Keep it real.
    Guy: Later, Bunny!
     

  3. Like
    teh bunneh got a reaction from Pariah in Jokes   
    Re: Jokes
     
    What sits in the corner, getting smaller and smaller?
     
     
     
  4. Like
    teh bunneh got a reaction from Cancer in A Thread for Random Musings   
    Re: A Thread for Random Musings
     
    Got a text message the other day. It said something like, "Guess what, I'm moving back to Colorado. I'll living at my mom's place for a few months. Keep a lookout for a good cheap used car for me."
     
    Didn't recognize the number, but I have a friend who moved away some years ago and keeps talking about moving back. His mom lives in my town, so I assume it's him.
     
    I called him back, but just got music (no voice mail or anything). Then I got another text message that said, "Hey, don't call, I can't pick up right now. Just text me."
     
    I've never texted anyone in my life. Why not? 'cause it costs $.20 to send a text, but making a call is free. Also, in the time it would take me to send a short text, I could have a conversation with five times as much information exchanged. So I don't text.
     
    But OK, why not at least figure out how to do it? So I teach myself how to send a text message. It is short and to the point: "who is this?"
     
    A few seconds later, I get a text back. "This is Nikki."
     
    OK. I know a Nikki. She works at our California office. Why she would be texting me (and how she got my number) is unknown.
     
    So I send back, "niki who? do i no u?" (I figure since I'm texting, I might as well go whole hog -- do as the Romans do and all that).
     
    Message comes back: "Isn't this David?"
     
    My response: "sry no dave here"
     
    And that was the end of that.
     
    So anyway, if you ever send me a text message, expect a call back, 'cause after several hours of back and forth and a small monetary investment, I still don't see any pressing need to do any more texting.
  5. Like
    teh bunneh got a reaction from Cancer in A Thread for Random Musings   
    Re: A Thread for Random Musings
     
    Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank. Give a man a bank and he can rob everybody.
  6. Like
    teh bunneh got a reaction from Cancer in A Thread for Random Mooings   
    Re: A Thread for Random Mooings
     
    Modern artists or computer languages.
  7. Like
    teh bunneh got a reaction from Lucius in A Thread for Random Musings   
    Re: A Thread for Random Musings
     
    When I was about 16 or so, I got up before sunup, packed a little bit of food, a jug of water, a knife, some matches, my walking stick, a light jacket, and maybe a few other items, and left the house.
     
    We lived in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains, literally halfway up one of the hills (known locally as the Hogbacks). I hiked up to the top of the mountain, and headed south along the ridge. There were no man-made trails, just a few scattered game runs here and there. It was quiet and secluded, even though I could see the city of Denver and its suburbs off to the east, I felt all alone. I felt like I was discovering lost territory. I hiked for most of the day until I reached the end of the hill, then climbed down to a little stream. I watched a herd of deer, led by a massive buck, negotiating the overgrown terrain to reach the rill and drink. I don't think they knew I was there, or if they did they just didn't care. I felt like I could've joined them at the water and they would've accepted me as one of their own.
     
    I climbed back up to the ridge and, as the sun was going down, I found a sheltered spot under a large overhanging rock. I built a little rock wall around the exposed side to provide some shelter from the wind, then made a small fire to keep warm. I slept there overnight, on the dirt floor, waking with every little sound, stirring up the fire and then dozing back off, fitfully.
     
    The next morning, as the sun came up, I hiked back home, hungry and a little bit dehydrated. I do not think my family missed me. I don't think they even noticed I was gone.
  8. Like
    teh bunneh got a reaction from New Hero in Quote of the Week from my gaming group...   
    Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
     

     
    Man, I should be getting royalties from this!
  9. Like
    teh bunneh got a reaction from New Hero in Quote of the Week from my gaming group...   
    Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
     

     
    Characters:
    Magical Bunny Princess Moxie: A magical girl from an imported Japanese cartoon.
    Bunbun: Her bunny/monkey pet. He grows into a giant bunny when Moxie is threatened.
    Glamoura: Bad girl from the hit rock-n-roll cartoon Jewell and the Monograms
    Shaolin Shark: The number two rated undersea martial arts cartoon! Sort of a cross between Hong Kong Fooey and Jabberjaws.
    Scorpio Commando: A grunt trooper from the GI Jim series.
    Groovy Dog: The mystery solving dog who travels around with a gang of teenagers in a van.
    Bernie: Groovy Dog's much smarter sidekick.
    Jacques Quack: French super-spy duck.
     
    The plot (such as it was): All of our cartoons were getting moved to the post-midnight slot. They were going to make us edgier and more "adult" oriented. None of us wanted this, so we set out to find out who switched our timeslots, and make them switch us back!
     
    We need to get past a security guard. Magical Princess Moxie decides to seduce him:
    Guard: Your eyes are huge. And your mouth is tiny. And I can hardly see your nose.
    Moxie: Well, I'm from Japan.
    Guard: You don't sound Japanese.
    Moxie: I've been dubbed.
    Guard: Oh. Did that hurt?
    Moxie: No, but sometimes now my lips don't match my words.
     
    Sad Panda is sad:
    Sad Panda: I got moved to the midnight slot. So they're going to kill my mom now.
    Everyone: Awwwww!
    Sad Panda: Guess I'll see you guys later. At my mom's funeral.
     
    We run into mob boss Bobster entering his favorite resturant...
    Groovy Dog: Bobster is a lobster?
    GM: He's a reputed lobster. Nobody's ever proven anything.
     
    We decide we need to set a trap for the reputed lobster:
    Bernie: First, we'll grease the stairs with butter. Then we'll put a skateboard out, with a ramp.
    Groovy: And at the end of the ramp, we'll put a pot full of boiling water.
    Jacques Quack: Why don't we just cut a hole in the floor right above the boiling water?
    Bernie and Groovy: *stare*
    Groovy: Have you never set a trap for a bad guy before?
    Bernie: Your plan is not nearly overcomplicated enough! Trust us, we do this all the time. And somehow, it works.
     
    Several times during the game:
    Groovy: Dammit!
    Bernie: Groovy! Language!
    Groovy: Oh my god! This new time slot is changing me already!
  10. Like
    teh bunneh got a reaction from New Hero in Quote of the Week from my gaming group...   
    Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
     

     
    Just don't stand behind him when he breaks wind.
  11. Like
    teh bunneh got a reaction from Hermit in Jokes   
    Re: Jokes
     
    Why Men Are Not Allowed to Write Advice Columns...
     
    Dear John
    I hope you can help me.. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching TV.
     
    My car started stalling and then it broke down about a mile down the road and I had to walk back to get my husband's help. When I got home, I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbour's daughter!
     
    I am 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbour's daughter is 19. We have been married for ten years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. He won't go to counselling and I'm afraid I am a wreck and need advice urgently. Can you please help?
     
    Sincerely, Kate
     
     
    Dear Kate:
    A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.
     
    I hope this helps,
    Regards
    John
  12. Like
    teh bunneh got a reaction from mikeward2534 in Quote of the Week From My Life.   
    Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.
     
    I got a text at like 3am one morning. I decided to play with it...
     
    Them (via text): BOA is providing $950 payday loans wired in two hours. NO Credit Check. Claim the cash at CashIn2Hrs.com and get funded now!
    Me: Boa? Is that you, man? Wow! I haven't heard from you in a long time!
    Me: It must be, what, seven or eight years? How have you been, man?
    Me: You're still in Virginia, huh? Some things never change, I guess!
    Me: What are you doing these days? Did that Communications degree ever pay off for you?
    Me: Remember how we used to tease you about that? You would get so pissed!
    Me: Man, we had some times, didn't we?
    Me: Whatever happened to those days?
    Me: I mean, obviously I know what happened.
    Me: Things just got crazy.
    Me: What with the court hearings and the craziness with all those reporters, things just got weird.
    Me: Am I right?
    Me: (about an hour later) No response? Hey man, why so quiet?
    Me: I used to have to gag you to shut you up!
    Me: You're not still mad, are you?
    Me: Dude, that was like eight years ago!
    Me: I said I was sorry.
    Me: And it's not like you don't have another sister.
    Me: Sorry man. That was low.
    Me: You know I loved her too, right?
    Me: And everyone knows it was an accident.
    Me: I was acquitted, remember?
    Me: I can't believe you're still mad.
    Me: (the next day) Man, I'm sorry about what I said last night.
    Me: It's just that when you texted me out of the blue like that, all those memories just came flooding back.
    Me: And I won't lie, I was drinking.
    Me: I know I promised to stop after that night, but it's hard.
    Me: I still live with the memories.
    Me: Not a day goes by that I don't think about her.
    Me: I miss her, you know?
    Me: I want her back.
    Me: But she's not coming back, is she?
    Me: (a week later) Dude, it's been a week since you texted me.
    Me: What the f**k?
    Me: You don't have the common courtesy to text back even once?
    Me: Dude. You started this, not me.
    Me: And now you're just going to go dark like this?
    Me: How about a simple admission that this was just a mistake?
    Me: Don't I even deserve that?
    Me: Jesus, you're an a**hole.
    Me: You know why she loved me more than you was because of cowardly s**t like this.
    Me: Yeah, i said it. And I meant it. She loved me more than you.
    Me: And you can go choke on it for all I care.
     
    Stay tuned for the continuing saga. And thank god for unlimited texting!
  13. Like
    teh bunneh reacted to Lonewalker in Quote of the Week from my gaming group...   
    Best quote from tonight's game, from a Holy Warrior regarding a emotionally-repressed PC:
     
     
    Father Winter: "You know, I have Cure Disease. Does it work on Asperger's?"
     
     
    - Lonewalker
  14. Like
    teh bunneh got a reaction from Burrito Boy in Quote of the Week From My Life.   
    Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.
     
    I'm walking down the hall at work, and I see a group of our engineers staring up at the ceiling, where one of the ceiling panels has been removed. I stop and look up at it, too.
     
    Me: I've seen this before.
    Engineers:
    Me: You've got ninjas. Best to clear them out now. If they start to multiply up there, you'll have a whole clan, and then they'll be impossible to get rid of.
    Engineers:
    Me:
  15. Like
    teh bunneh got a reaction from Houston GM in Quote of the Week From My Life.   
    Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.
     
    I got a text at like 3am one morning. I decided to play with it...
     
    Them (via text): BOA is providing $950 payday loans wired in two hours. NO Credit Check. Claim the cash at CashIn2Hrs.com and get funded now!
    Me: Boa? Is that you, man? Wow! I haven't heard from you in a long time!
    Me: It must be, what, seven or eight years? How have you been, man?
    Me: You're still in Virginia, huh? Some things never change, I guess!
    Me: What are you doing these days? Did that Communications degree ever pay off for you?
    Me: Remember how we used to tease you about that? You would get so pissed!
    Me: Man, we had some times, didn't we?
    Me: Whatever happened to those days?
    Me: I mean, obviously I know what happened.
    Me: Things just got crazy.
    Me: What with the court hearings and the craziness with all those reporters, things just got weird.
    Me: Am I right?
    Me: (about an hour later) No response? Hey man, why so quiet?
    Me: I used to have to gag you to shut you up!
    Me: You're not still mad, are you?
    Me: Dude, that was like eight years ago!
    Me: I said I was sorry.
    Me: And it's not like you don't have another sister.
    Me: Sorry man. That was low.
    Me: You know I loved her too, right?
    Me: And everyone knows it was an accident.
    Me: I was acquitted, remember?
    Me: I can't believe you're still mad.
    Me: (the next day) Man, I'm sorry about what I said last night.
    Me: It's just that when you texted me out of the blue like that, all those memories just came flooding back.
    Me: And I won't lie, I was drinking.
    Me: I know I promised to stop after that night, but it's hard.
    Me: I still live with the memories.
    Me: Not a day goes by that I don't think about her.
    Me: I miss her, you know?
    Me: I want her back.
    Me: But she's not coming back, is she?
    Me: (a week later) Dude, it's been a week since you texted me.
    Me: What the f**k?
    Me: You don't have the common courtesy to text back even once?
    Me: Dude. You started this, not me.
    Me: And now you're just going to go dark like this?
    Me: How about a simple admission that this was just a mistake?
    Me: Don't I even deserve that?
    Me: Jesus, you're an a**hole.
    Me: You know why she loved me more than you was because of cowardly s**t like this.
    Me: Yeah, i said it. And I meant it. She loved me more than you.
    Me: And you can go choke on it for all I care.
     
    Stay tuned for the continuing saga. And thank god for unlimited texting!
  16. Like
    teh bunneh got a reaction from Cancer in Quote of the Week From My Life.   
    Re: Quote of the Week From My Life.
     
    I got a text at like 3am one morning. I decided to play with it...
     
    Them (via text): BOA is providing $950 payday loans wired in two hours. NO Credit Check. Claim the cash at CashIn2Hrs.com and get funded now!
    Me: Boa? Is that you, man? Wow! I haven't heard from you in a long time!
    Me: It must be, what, seven or eight years? How have you been, man?
    Me: You're still in Virginia, huh? Some things never change, I guess!
    Me: What are you doing these days? Did that Communications degree ever pay off for you?
    Me: Remember how we used to tease you about that? You would get so pissed!
    Me: Man, we had some times, didn't we?
    Me: Whatever happened to those days?
    Me: I mean, obviously I know what happened.
    Me: Things just got crazy.
    Me: What with the court hearings and the craziness with all those reporters, things just got weird.
    Me: Am I right?
    Me: (about an hour later) No response? Hey man, why so quiet?
    Me: I used to have to gag you to shut you up!
    Me: You're not still mad, are you?
    Me: Dude, that was like eight years ago!
    Me: I said I was sorry.
    Me: And it's not like you don't have another sister.
    Me: Sorry man. That was low.
    Me: You know I loved her too, right?
    Me: And everyone knows it was an accident.
    Me: I was acquitted, remember?
    Me: I can't believe you're still mad.
    Me: (the next day) Man, I'm sorry about what I said last night.
    Me: It's just that when you texted me out of the blue like that, all those memories just came flooding back.
    Me: And I won't lie, I was drinking.
    Me: I know I promised to stop after that night, but it's hard.
    Me: I still live with the memories.
    Me: Not a day goes by that I don't think about her.
    Me: I miss her, you know?
    Me: I want her back.
    Me: But she's not coming back, is she?
    Me: (a week later) Dude, it's been a week since you texted me.
    Me: What the f**k?
    Me: You don't have the common courtesy to text back even once?
    Me: Dude. You started this, not me.
    Me: And now you're just going to go dark like this?
    Me: How about a simple admission that this was just a mistake?
    Me: Don't I even deserve that?
    Me: Jesus, you're an a**hole.
    Me: You know why she loved me more than you was because of cowardly s**t like this.
    Me: Yeah, i said it. And I meant it. She loved me more than you.
    Me: And you can go choke on it for all I care.
     
    Stay tuned for the continuing saga. And thank god for unlimited texting!
  17. Like
    teh bunneh got a reaction from Pariah in Jokes   
    Re: Jokes
     
    The bartender says, "We don't serve tachyons here."
     
    A tachyon walks into a bar.
  18. Like
    teh bunneh got a reaction from Pariah in Foods for those that just don't care anymore   
    Re: Foods for those that just don't care anymore
     
    When I was a kid, my mom would make some nasty-ass tuna salad every once in a while, using cheap canned tuna. I hated it. Could not stand it. Wouldn't touch it; haven't touched it since.
     
    But when I was in college, some friends of mine and I went to a fancy seafood place. Among the other dishes at the table was a beautiful fresh tuna steak, broiled in butter, prepared by a chef of some renoun. So I decided to try a taste. And?
     
    Ugh. Yuck. I decided then and there that yes, it's true. I do not like tuna.
  19. Like
    teh bunneh got a reaction from MisterVimes in What Have You Watched Recently?   
    Re: What Have You Watched Recently?
     
    I've been watching episodes of Brisco County Jr. (hi, Blue! :wavies: ) Just finished disk four. There is a part of my brain that keeps saying, "No way! That's rediculous*!" but the other part of my brain keeps shushing it and telling it to pipe down, we're trying to watch the show.
     
    Bill.
    (Funnily enough, it's never about Professor Wickwire's bizarre contraptions; it's usually about the "Brisco takes two days to ride from San Fransisco to New Orleans" scene shifts).
  20. Like
    teh bunneh got a reaction from Koshka in Quote of the Week from my gaming group...   
    Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
     
    Another one from the Avengers Next game. The new Avengers are being questions by the press ... and the press is starting to ask some tough (even hostile) questions. Sorry about the length, but this one literally put chills up my spine. Kudos to Kolbrandr the Brave!
     
    The question was in reference to the death of the Vision, which happened a few years previously:
    "This is a question for Cinnabar," a reporter speaks out. "But I'd also like to throw it open to any and all the other new Avengers to hear their take on the matter. Cinnabar, your father's death was a terrible blow -- not just to you personally, but to the other heroes around the country, and to the nation as a whole. But his death brought home an important (and often overlooked) truth about superheroic activities -- that sometimes the good guys don't win. Can you share with us your feelings on this dangerous, potentially deadly job you're about to take on? "
     

  21. Like
    teh bunneh got a reaction from Manic Typist in Quote of the Week from my gaming group...   
    Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
     
    Another one from the Avengers Next game. The new Avengers are being questions by the press ... and the press is starting to ask some tough (even hostile) questions. Sorry about the length, but this one literally put chills up my spine. Kudos to Kolbrandr the Brave!
     
    The question was in reference to the death of the Vision, which happened a few years previously:
    "This is a question for Cinnabar," a reporter speaks out. "But I'd also like to throw it open to any and all the other new Avengers to hear their take on the matter. Cinnabar, your father's death was a terrible blow -- not just to you personally, but to the other heroes around the country, and to the nation as a whole. But his death brought home an important (and often overlooked) truth about superheroic activities -- that sometimes the good guys don't win. Can you share with us your feelings on this dangerous, potentially deadly job you're about to take on? "
     

  22. Like
    teh bunneh got a reaction from Haerandir in Quote of the Week from my gaming group...   
    Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
     
    Another one from the Avengers Next game. The new Avengers are being questions by the press ... and the press is starting to ask some tough (even hostile) questions. Sorry about the length, but this one literally put chills up my spine. Kudos to Kolbrandr the Brave!
     
    The question was in reference to the death of the Vision, which happened a few years previously:
    "This is a question for Cinnabar," a reporter speaks out. "But I'd also like to throw it open to any and all the other new Avengers to hear their take on the matter. Cinnabar, your father's death was a terrible blow -- not just to you personally, but to the other heroes around the country, and to the nation as a whole. But his death brought home an important (and often overlooked) truth about superheroic activities -- that sometimes the good guys don't win. Can you share with us your feelings on this dangerous, potentially deadly job you're about to take on? "
     

  23. Like
    teh bunneh reacted to AliceTheOwl in "Neat" Pictures   
    Re: "Neat" Pictures
     
    I found it!
  24. Like
    teh bunneh reacted to bigdamnhero in Quote of the Week from my gaming group...   
    Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
     

    Favorite quotes from GenghisCon:


     
    From my Champions game:
     
    Illuminatus, the mystic (played by Bill Keyes): “It’s DARK SORCERY!”
    Other player: “You said that when your hamburger came back underdone.”
     
     
    Later, Illuminatus confronts Madame Diamond, a well-known celebrity psychic (think Shirley Maclaine meets Madame Cleo), who he’s convinced is a total fraud:
    Madame Diamond: “DARK SORCERY is at work!”
    Illuminatus: “Well...yeah okay.”
    Madame Diamond: “We’re all in terrible danger!”
    Illuminatus: “...Allright, I’ll give you that one, but...”
    Madame Diamond: “And you need mystical protection.”
    Iron Maiden: “Dude, she sounds just like you.”
     
     
    Magnetica, a female PC (run by a very attractive female player) is searching an actress’ trailer for clues, but badly blows her PER roll. The player decides she got distracted by the actress’ lingere drawer.
    Magnetica: “Ooo, she’s got some really nice stuff in here.” [Mimes holding up a teddie] “This would look great on me.”
    GM: “You’re taller than she is; it’s a little short on you.”
    Magnetica: “I don’t see that as a problem.”
    The male players (and the GM) had a little trouble focusing on the scenario after that.
     
     
    From BunnySue’s Pulp game:
     
    As the goons with guns enter:
    “I think you can get those 5 for a dollar at Wal-Mart.”
    “The guns or the goons?”
     
     
    Sheena, Queen of the Jungle (played by Yours Truly), who’s been forced into “civilized” clothes for a big reception:
    “How am I supposed to fight in this? I can barely walk?”
    Jane Greystoke: “Running in high heels is easy. *Stopping* in high heels is hard.”
     
     
    After the GM’s description of the evil priestess in the chainmail bikini:
    Player 1: “So can I assume she’s not wearing any armor?”
    Player 2: [looking at the miniature] “If she is, it’s got one hell of an activation roll.”
     
     
    From my Future Pulp SH game:
     
    From the GM (me) as my laptop fails to boot up:
    “Okay, we’re going to be doing some improvisation. More than usual, that is.”
     
     
    From a 7-year-old player, after reading his character’s background:
    “I grew up on the streets?” [pause] “COOOL!”
     
     
    Same player, after the PCs contemptuously bat aside all my surface-to-air missiles (which in my playtests, blew up their ship every time):
    “That’s it? Shoot some more missiles, it’s fun.”
     
     
    Ghost-Angel: “I’m a pulp heroine who just got knocked out; it doesn’t get more genre than that.”
     
     
    From Bill Keyes’ Arabian Nights FH game:
     
     
    Following one-too-many Star Wars references:
    Me: “Let’s stay in this universe, it’s better written.”
    Darnet: “And none of us are CGI.”
    JCFiala: [raises hand] “I am.”
     
     
    Bad Guy: “You hurt me!”
    Ghost-Angel: “Don’t be evil.”
     
     
    As we prepare to assault the castle of my father, the Evil Sorceror:
    Player: “I think you have some parental issues.”
    Me: “Not for long...”
     
     
    As we burst into the villain’s throne room:
    Villain: “I’m on the throne, do you mind?”
     
     
    From Bill’s Teen Titans game:
     
    A young girl was playing Raven, whose character sheet included the Disad “Freaky Goth Chick.” That player’s mother – who IS a Freaky Goth Chick – looks over and says “Hey, who says that’s a disadvantage?”
     
     
    Me: “So am I really the only one in this room who’s never seen the cartoon?”
    Other Player: “And you call yourself a geek.”
     
    Following a really effective coordinated attack:
    "Wow, teamwork really pays off."
    "And that, kids, is the moral of today's story..."
     
     
    From an Arcanis (fantasy) game:
     
    Following a REALLY good tracking roll:
    “...and it has a poison bite. And black eyes.” Skeptical looks from the players. “OK, I suppose you couldn't get that from a tracking roll.”
     
     
    “The fact that they spotted us tells me they have magic.”
    “Really? The fact that they blew apart the tower with huge freaking lightning bolts tells ME they have magic.”
     
     
    Various:
     
    “If I was that cool, then I’d be that cool. But I’m not that cool.”
     
     
    “The beer starts to get out of control. Gimme a STR roll to hold onto the beer.”
     
     
    Overheard at the Serenity table: “Next time, Captain, we should bring the porn onboard.”
    Players at my table turn around with: “So, who’s playing Jayne?” and “We’ll be in our bunks.”
     
     
    And lastly from my beloved, who supports my weird hobby even if she doesn’t understand it, as I left for the con:
    “Have fun with the other... imponderables.”
  25. Like
    teh bunneh got a reaction from Beetle in Quote of the Week from my gaming group...   
    Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
     
    Playing a silly pick-up game. I'm a hard-boiled detective whose internal monologue isn't very internal at all -- he narrates everything that he thinks, does, and even says. My wife is playing a teenaged Buffy-type character. We meet for the first time...
     
    Me: (deadpan) Yeah, she was a looker all right. Legs that went all the way up and then back down the other side. A body that would make a bishop kick out a stained glass window. She was a little young for me, but you know what they say -- if there's grass on the field, play ball.
    Tammy: (disgusted) Do you always talk like that?
    Me: (deadpan) ...she asked in a disgusted tone. Yes, I replied. It's what I do.
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