Ockham's Spoon
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Posts posted by Ockham's Spoon
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Mom and Little Johnny are in the mini van on the way to the mall when out of nowhere a big rubber dildo comes flying through the air and bounces off the windshield with a big “WHOMP, startling both Mom & Little Johnny.
Little Johnny says to his Mom, “Mom, Did you see that? What was that that just hit the windshield?”
Mom really doesn’t know exactly how to respond due to the embarrassment of what the object actually was but responds with, “It was just a really big bug Johnny.”
Little Johnny not missing a beat says to his Mom, “No kidding, Mom, It must have been! Did you see the size of the dick on that thing?”
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A cop is driving around in his police cruiser one afternoon, when he sees a car up ahead that's going significantly slower than the rest of the traffic. Other drivers are swerving around them, honking their horns, and swearing.
Realizing that this was a terrible hazard for everyone involved, he gets behind the slow driver, and flips on his lights.
The driver immediately pulls over, and the cop walks up to the window, and discovers that the driver is a little white-haired old woman. He looks further into the car and sees three more small elderly female passengers.
He asks the usual, “Do you know why I pulled you over?”
“No, sir. I don't.”
“Mam, you were only going 25 miles an hour.”
“But I thought that was the speed limit!” , she points to a large black and white road sign not far away.
The officer just chuckles a bit, shakes his head, and says, “Mam…that's not a speed limit sign, you are on ROUTE 25.” They both have a good laugh. He takes one last look around the car before he leaves, and notices the other old ladies are all wide eyed and terrified. “Mam, are they okay?”
“Oh, they'll be fine. We just got off of route 125!”
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On 10/21/2023 at 11:18 PM, Cancer said:
Missed my favorite Far Side cartoon on Hell:
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Two nuns are in a car when the Devil jumps on the front of their vehicle. Sister Mary, alarmed by this, brings the car to a stop. She turns to Sister Bernadette and says,
“Quickly sister, show him your cross!”
Sister Bernadette leans her head out of the window and screams,
“Oy! Get off our f**king car!”
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My mother and father were coming over for dinner. While I waited for them to arrive I was listening to local radio when the DJ announced there was trouble on the motorway, some clown was driving North in the South-bound lane. I texted my mother ( I knew she’d be sitting next to Dad ) to tell her to watch out because there was someone driving the wrong way on the motorway.
She replied
‘It’s not just one, there are dozens of them!’
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Meanwhile, I didn't notice Mr. Scruffy where was looking 🤪
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Overheard in line at Starbucks, behind two teenage girls, talking to each other.
Girl 1: Did you know today is Friday the 13th? It’s bad luck!
Girl 2: Not for me, I was born on Friday the 13th.
Girl 1: Today? No you weren’t!
Girl 2: No, a Friday the 13th in July. But it can happen in any month.
Girl 1: Oh. I wonder if I was born on a Friday the 13th?
Girl 2: Well, you were born on March 7th, so no.
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Jokes
in Non-Gaming Discussion
Posted
A traveling salesman walks up the driveway and knocks on the door.
After a while the door opens and a little boy, about 9, stands with a glass of whisky in one hand and a cigar in the other.
The salesman says “Oh, hi. is you mommy or daddy home?”
Little boy looks at his whisky and his cigar and says, “Does it look like it?”