Drhoz

From old campaigns long ago:
 
First mission of the campaign, the heroes defeated generic terrorists, but one of them knocked a terrorist into a VIP hostage, doing body damage to both.  Afterward,  as the press arrives, the hero who hates the press flees, and the other secretive hero also flees, leaving behind the only player with a "cannot tell a lie" limitation to speak on camera.
 
"And how did the Senator get injured, <superhero>?"
 
"He was...uh...struck by a terrorist. "
 
In a later campaign, a darker and grittier "street-level" game, my character was a Bullseye analogue,  able to add damage and accuracy to any ranged weapon.  Long story short, we were betrayed by a teammate and captured by my arch nemesis. 
 
Because my character could throw almost anything as a weapon, he was bolted to the wall stark naked.  After much embarrassment and frustration, I made a spectacular roll and got free from my bonds, loosening a single bolt.  Hurling the bolt, I smashed the cell door lock.  Hurling the lock fragment, I KOed the approaching guard,  and retrieved his armor-piercing energy pistol -- a very nice weapon that would be outright deadly in my character's hands.
 
Without waiting to dress, I  ran down the hallway, blowing open the other cell doors to free my team.  The character who had betrayed us (and since apologized and offered to rejoin us) was the last to be freed.  She gasped in alarm as I raced to confront my arch foe:  "Wait!  You're still naked!"
 
And thus I had the God-given opportunity to deliver my best line of the campaign:
 
"I'm not naked.  I  have a gun."

Gillert's Player: “…. what are you doing?”
Me: “Cosplaying a Portuguese Man-o-war”
 

Bizarrely enough, Ian had nothing to do with this



But he did  update me on his campaign of terror in DayZ. He's decided to build a base for himself. He didn't used to have a base - just an outhouse on the middle of the Haunted Forest. Teams would go into the forest hunting for his non-existent base, and walk right past the outhouse. He eavesdropped on one assassin that had gone in hunting him - the other PC radioed back "I've got to the outhouse - what do I do now?", dithered for a bit, then lost his nerve and fled back to town.

Anyway, his new base isn't as elaborate as most - it's just a barn. It's the accessories that make it the target of rage across the server. As one of Ian's friends asked him -

"Why have you spent four cases of gold on grenades?"

The grenades became the thirty-meter deep minefield around the barn. So far, nobody has even got to the door, despite him 'helpfully' arranging (booby-trapped) oil drums to jump between. One player even tried to drive a tank up to his door, and it got blown up too. Ian cheerfully looted the bodies and parked the tank beside his barn, and invited the player to come retrieve it. One team did try to land a helicopter on the roof, but Ian had deliberately chosen a building with a sloped roof. They slid right off into the minefield. Naturally, the carnage has greatly improved Ian's pile of loot. To the fury of the other players, he just stores it all in the barn.

Player: I got him! I finally got him! Wait, he's not carrying any loot.
Player 2: what? He took my best rifle last week!
Player: he says he stashed it in the barn.
Player 2: fuuuuuuuu-

Of course, they could just fly a plane into his barn, just like he did to those other players, but while he was bored one day he discovered something interesting. He was building a tower from scaffolding, just to see how tall it would go, and was well above anything in the game when a plane flew into it. The plane blew up - and the tower stayed standing.

Ian thinks "I've just invented a giant flyswat". He's intending to build them at the end of each airport runway.

He recently spotted one of the other players heading to the traders camp, and wondered what he was buying. So he took off his burlap sack and followed him in. It turned out he was buying a car, and then medical supplies. So Ian got into the back of the car while the other player was off buying stuff, laid down on the back seat, put the burlap sack back on, and waited. And once they were driving down the road, sat up and started squealing and gibbering in the driver's ear.

After the car crash, the other player admitted it was pretty funny, but was slightly peeved that the car was a write-off and he'd been killed in the impact. The Pigman, predictably, survived.

The Pharaoh’s pyramid has spikes, and lightning.

Nemat: Oh god, he’s gone full edgelord.

He also has colossal scorpions as guard dogs, which does him no good at all since the entire party is invisible and flying. Doesn’t stop the slightly-built woman that appears out of thin air and a blast of trumpets at the top of the pyramid and strolls unconcerned down the side towards us. It’s the same woman who was doing the illicit research in the secret library, months ago. She addresses us, the entire area, and, as we’ll learn later, is doing the same from smaller pyramids hovering over every major town in Osirion.

Spokeswoman: These are the words of Hakotep the First, Lord of the Sands, Scourge of the Shory, Most Beloved Son of Set, Glorious and Eternal Sky Pharaoh of Osirion! Let all who would grow wise fall silent and listen!
Zenobia: Well, we can probably still hear her if we go inside, so let's go inside.
Nemat: No no, she might give the game away.
Zenobia: ‘Don’t stop the bad guys when they’re monologuing’
Spokeswoman: Rejoice, faithful of Osirion! Your god and pharaoh has returned to rule over His lands and His people with strength and wisdom, to return the kingdom to the glory lost by His unworthy successors!
Nemat: Actually she’s not saying anything useful, I’ll just cast Silence.

The woman splits into two, one image continuing her spiel, and the other looking at us and heading towards us.

Spokeswoman: Is it you who called down the pyramid? Who would dare impede the Sky Pharaoh in his divine undertaking? Who would stand in the way of a living god?
Asrian: Yes.
Zenobia: Well, we’re not going to lie.

She seems a bit unprepared to deal with anybody that isn’t as prolix as her.

GM: STOP BREAKING THE NPCs

Spokeswoman: If you wish to meet He who wields the Crook and Flail of Kings, you must demonstrate your worthiness by traversing the Fourfold Path—Walk on the Wind, Breathe in the Water, Swim through the Soil, and Dance in the Fire. Only those sorely tested may come into the divine presence of the Most Beloved Son of Set.

Nemat: I can do all of those. But I’ll need Onka’s help for one of them.
Asrian: Or we can just obliterate you.
Spokeswoman: I would like to see you try.
Nemat: Thank you! That’s exactly what we were waiting for - permission!

But the spokeswoman is clearly an illusory projection.

Nemat: I’m not going to waste a reply on somebody who doesn’t have the courage to be here in person.
Spokeswoman: *smiling sweetly* Then perhaps, mortal, we shall meet in person.

Hopefully we’ll survive that long - some of the challenges inside the pyramid are amazingly nasty.

Nemat: Did you just kinkshame a chaos beast to death?

We also discover that some of the sarcophagi are just painted wood.

Asrian: I’m getting the impression that Pharoah-guy is just cheap.

He probably spent all the money on the Hurricane Shaft - not fun. Especially since we literally have enough rope to hang ourselves. Asrian manages to run up along the wall without being Mixmastered, to place some helpful ropes.

Zenobia OoC: At least I don’t have a heart attack.
GM: You do see her slip.
Asrian: She’s seen my slip many times.

And of course then something like this happens



And who would have guessed that a thorough knowledge of funeral practises would be relevant? We all turn to our local expert, Nemat. Of course after so many instances of poorly done funerals leading to Problems, having a properly done funeral leading to Bigger Problems is entirely apropo for this campaign.

Zenobia: Can Nightmare Vapour poison be counteracted by cuddling?

And it looks like somebody actually considered the possibility of adventures flitting around like swallows, since Asrian triggers a Dispel Magic trap while she’s flying over a 300ft-deep shaft.

Zenobia OoC: And now Zenobia has that heart attack.

Fortunately it negated her Delay Poison first, and she knows Featherfall anyway. It also turns out that the Pharaoh had a rather geeky son that Nemat probably would have quite liked, and that the Pharaoh thought well enough of to get a statue of Thoth made to represent him. He might have been an evil ****, but at least he was fond of his kid. Typically arrogant, of course. The kid’s mum, on the other hand, was apparently a follower of the Dark Tapestry.

Asrian: So she’s probably gone on to her fate worse than death.
Onka: And good riddance.

Unfortunately it looks like we’re going to break into the kid’s sarcophagus. None of us want to - he seems like he would have been an OK kid. Maybe we should ask his spirit for permission first?

GM: oh my god why must my players try to make friends with everything including THE LONG DEAD. They've Undertale'd half this adventure I swear.

Even if the Pharaoh didn’t go bonkers until after his son was killed, it’s practically certain that the sarcophagus will be trapped out the wazoo.

Zenobia: Well, at least it’ll give Nemat more time to copy down the hieroglyphs.

As it turns out, it’s enchanted with a illusory trap.

Onka: So cheap he didn’t even set traps on his own son’s grave.
Zenobia: Better than getting a False Negative on the Detect Traps..

Even better would be not having to fight a pair of giant fire-immune lightning birds. Asrian’s skillset isn’t going to be very useful here.

Zenobia: You’ll just have to handle the Wand of Cure Light Wounds.
Nemat: I refrain from commenting on your knowledge of her wand-handling skills.

Zenobia OoC: If I CAN banish them it’ll be Thunderbirds Go!

Nemat Chains of Light them - they plummet to the bottom of the 300ft shaft.

Asrian: That might not kill them.
Nemat: It’s THUDD at the very least.

Zenobia OoC: Now we defeated the Zapdosses, do we put them in our Pokéballs?



GM: ah, so that's why Asrian fell in love, you can't help but boop that snoot
Asrian OoC: That, and taking a lover who wouldn't judge her appearance. Asrian has serious body image problems.

Nemat OoC: I need healing, I have a booboo.
Asrian OoC: Imagine how much you’d need if you had a Yogi.

Zenobia: Would it be asking for trouble if we take bets on what’s in the next tomb?
Asrian: Yes.
Zenobia: Just as well I’m not a gambling gnoll then.
Nemat: Well, the last few were thematically appropriate, so the shrine of the Sphinx will be a sphinx. Or my girlfriend, according to you guys.

It’s a mummified sphinx.

Zenobia: Your girlfriend isn’t looking too well there.

Androsphinx: *hisses* Finally, some visitors!
Asrian: Do you need a cough drop?
Androsphinx: I’ve been here ten thousand years, I don’t think a cough drop will achieve much.
Nemat: Actually it’s been closer to two and half.
Androsphinx: It felt much longer.

Zenobia is appalled that a thinking being has been locked up in here that long without any contact with the outside world or even anything to read. We attempt our usual trick of talking them around to our side, or even just escorting them out of the pyramid for some fresh air.

Nemat: Oh no we aren’t - do I have to explain androsphinxs? They’re evil rapists. And probably have baby-eating in their description. If anything, becoming a mummy probably improved his disposition.
Androsphinx: So do you want the riddle or do you want me to eat you?
Nemat: Oh, we’ll try the riddle first.
Androsphinx: Excellent choice, I do so enjoy them.

He gives us the riddle, which Zenobia solves instantly:

Asrian: She from the desert. There’s nothing to talk about but sand and camels out there.
Nemat: Allow us to introduce ourselves - we’re the Covenant of Wati. Adventurers and scholars.
Androsphinx: Ah. Not the usual meatheads then. Well, do what you want, I’ll be back in ten minutes. I’m going for a walk.

We’re left in charge of one of the control panels for the Pharaoh’s fleet of flying pyramids. Asrian suggests we order them to fly into an infamous manastorm that should scuttle them quite nicely. Or better yet, just inform them all that the Covenant of Wati has infiltrated the other pyramids and they should attack each other. And then shut down the interface completely. Pity we don’t have time to saw it off the base and take it with us.

Asrian: It’s emerald, I want it.
Zenobia: I thought it was gnolls that like emeralds.

We head off to sabotage another level of the main pyramid, although we do return the late Prince’s mask.

Asrian: It’s not his fault his dad is a d***.

Unfortunately the next level apparently requires the sacrifice of a sentient humanoid before we can get in.

Nemat: Or I can just knock repeatedly, because f*** that s***
GM: There’s no response.
Nemat: I meant knocking with my adamantium hammer.

Unfortunately, the entire passage is trapped and we get somewhat toasted. It would appear the entire area is the home of some kind of major fire demon. This, presumably, is the Path of Fire.
     

The plan : help that Imperial starship out of the Vortex, so they'll unwittingly feed information back to the forces of Chaos - i.e. Us.

Doing so, however, means using the Thirteenth Station, the only safe route in and out of the Screaming Vortex, and even then most Chaos ships sacrifice a few hundred slaves before they dare. Over the centuries, the frozen corpses have become something of a nuisance. The blockade fleet that patrols this side of the Warpgate is a nuisance as well.

Aladar: So what am I flying and what am I shooting?
Cog: You're not flying anything.
Jrska OoC: And you're not shooting anything because Jrska cut your balls off.

Cassius' ploy - Lure the fleet away from the gate, while our new 'friends' sneak past, silent running. We'll be towing the hulk of that raider ship we shot up too, so the prospect of an apparently Inquisitorial ship, with something no-doubt valuable in tow, should be irresistible.

Of course, we also have to repair the Imperial ship, strip the raider, and pull off our stunt, without anybody , including our own mix of mutant and deluded Emperor-worshipping crew, figuring out what we're actually doing. Tricky, given Cassius' winged mutation, disturbing psychic aura, and the need to work closely with the naive Imperial captain.

Jrska: Not as disturbing as me. And then there's the drooling noises whenever the captain is around and I'm there.

At least Jrska has something to distract her - brainwashing that Space Marine Dreadnought.

Cassius: I gave Jrska a challenge - break someone who is immune to sensation.
Jrska: That's OK, I'm watching chick flicks with him. Non-stop. For days on end.

Cassius: Jrska - I want you to select the prize crew for the raider. I want them competent, and loyal. A proportion of them are allowed to be worshippers of Slaanesh.
Jrska: ... 100% is a proportion...
Cassius: Not more than 1 in 10

Aladar van Rijn attempts to make himself useful, by getting some neural upgrades from the ships' Magos-engineer. He phrases it in a way that would make Slaanesh proud.

Aladar: I'm plugging myself into Father.
All: ....

He remains useless. The opening move of the Cassius Gambit nearly stalls the engine and almost tears the hulk free of its tow chains.

Aladar: Why are there four pedals when there are six directions?
Cassius: Why do you insist on flying the ship when you're no good at it?

Happily, the rest of us can offset Aladar's failings, by intimidating, cajoling, and exhorting the crew into working harder.

Aladar: Why do you keep calling it extorting the crew?
Jrska: Because I'm making them do stuff

Even then, there are limits to what we can achieve, even as we run rings around the blockade's formidable raiders, and start earning the attention of the hulking and extremely formidable cruisers.

Jrska: No matter how fast I beat the drum, they're not going to turn the ship any faster.

Aladar: The engines cannae take it, Captain!
Cassius: You weren't raised by the Adeptus Mechanicus - you don't know that ancient prayer

But it works ( apparently Aladar can remember how to pilot a ship if Cassius threatens to flay him alive ) and the Chains of Judgement retreats into the Vortex, and that delectable captain and her ship make a successful dash for the Thirteenth Station. No doubt the blockade's admiral will carry out a few disciplinary executions.

Back to Jrska's brother's lair in the Ragged Helix, where we discover that some of his supposedly loyal minions attempted a coup. There's considerable damage, but at least the traitors were driven off. Cassius is annoyed by this evidence of Chaos' unreliability.

Cassius: I make a point of not screwing people over until they've screwed me.
Jrska: ... Interesting phrasing, my lord.

Some of the survivors suspect it was Jrska's arrival that prompted the coup - a more important question is who egged it on? Leading suspects include Seyr the Bereft, who we acquired that Tyrant's Cord for months ago, and Gray the Mercenary.

Cassius: I don't buy it. Gray has always been like me, an honourable -
Jrska: So he was acting out of character, my lord?
Cassius: ...True.
Aladar: You think he was mind-controlled?
Jrska: No. I'm implying that his persona of an honourable mercenary may be just that - a persona.

Cassius: For some reason you're earning more infamy than me, and I don't know why.
Jrska: Perhaps it was the thing with the penguin, my lord.

But there we had to leave it for the session, after helping with the clean-up and acquiring a few more shiny things from the piles of wreckage. We still have to get more weapons built into the Chains, too. Perhaps something powered by that vault-full of tortured human souls?

Change all the photographs to photographs of other people.
 
Stretch goal: replace all photographs with photoshoped versions of the originals. All with varying levels of difference / weirdness. 
 
 

Pathfinder : The Mummy's Mask - The Floor Is Lava
The Path of Fire naturally includes some lethal conditions and cunning traps, some of which we only avoid by being paranoid f***ers.

Onka: We push the iron golems, they slide into the lava, and they’re not a problem anymore.
Zenobia: Until they climb back out now glowing with a red heat.

Zenobia: Note for the future - don’t be on this level when we crash the pyramid.

Zenobia: Asrian wait - even if we free these slaves, how do we get them past the lava?
Asrian: We fly them out, swiftly.
Zenobia: … Good point.
Onka: We’re going to leave them outside?
Zenobia: With the giant scorpions?
Nemat: One problem at a time!

Onka: I hope this isn’t another one of those ‘screw with good people’ traps because those are starting to s*** me.

Nemat: They’re all dead.
Zenobia: *looking down at the one I’m trying to feed water to* But we were only in here two minutes!
Asrian OoC: They’re all dead, Dave.

And another trap requires a depth of knowledge about ancient artificers guilds.

Zenobia OoC: Who would have guessed that watching so many episodes of Antiques Roadshow would be useful.

Asrian has to disable room after room of traps.

Asrian: I’m good, I’m good.
Zenobia: As far as I’m concerned you’re perfect.

GM: Just give me a moment to grab some popcorn.
Nemat OoC: Well THAT doesn’t bode well.

The inhabitant of the next room is a bit surprised to see us - possibly because the room was well-hidden, but more likely because we came through the wall. Whoever employed him to sit around here presumably paid for some kind of fire resistance as well, since the floor in here is also lava.

On the other hand, he also has a lot of friends.

Zenobia: So, are we negotiating with these ones?
Nemat: NO.
Imhetef: Finally, after all these centuries, FRESH BLOOD!
Nemat: Yeah, there was never going to be any talking with this guy.

It also looks like this guy was an Inquisitor once, which is guaranteed to irritate our version. He starts walking towards us - on molten lava.

Onka: That must be some amazing Fire Resistance.
GM: No, just some very good shoes.

Fortunately Asrian shakes off the compulsion to walk forward into the lava.

Zenobia OoC: Asrian isn’t into Domination.
Asrian OoC: Asrian is a top.

She then casts Dispel Magic on Imhetef’s boots. He looks briefly surprised, before sinking into molten rock with all his protections suddenly removed. And when he turns into a swarm of bats, they promptly fry as well. Zenobia adds insult to injury by Channelling Positive Energy, which his Channel Resistance completely fails to stop. And then he sinks deeper into the lava.

GM: There are now crispy-fried bats floating on the lava. Why did I have him walk across???
Onka OoC: He knew the slippers worked. Until suddenly they didn’t.
Zenobia OoC: He was overconfident. And then he was on fire. And then he was dead.

And then it’s time to hole up, patch a few minor wounds, level up, and send Onka out shopping with teleport and to fabricate more magical items in his Hyperbolic Time Chamber. It helps that Nemat has been carefully collecting the remains of all of the undead we’ve been killing over the last few months - the undead dust will be a useful ingredient in arrows of greater undead slaying. A few crossbow bolts designed to destroy constructs will also be handy - Hakotep is quite fond of constructs. Zenobia can help with some of the spellcasting Onka needs.

Onka: Bring a book.
Zenobia: Certainly. It’ll be the Book of Sarenrae.
Onka: And sandwiches. Don’t forget sandwiches - this is going to take a while.

Unfortunately, the controller of the Earth level is a Div known as Kaahbek, Sedeb Ianew, Eater of Woe.

Asrian: Tell, me, how would you say ‘Eater of Feces’ in Ancient Osiriani?
Nemat: Please don’t.
Asrian: I’m not going to say it to the magic door, I’m going to say it to his face.
Zenobia: Look on the bright side, maybe you’ll get to say it to him as often as we need to chant it here.
Nemat: Actually, if I chant Kaahbek and you chant Eater of Feces that fulfils the door requirements and satisfies us at the same time.

Unfortunately knowing how to pronounce his names and titles helps us not at all once we’re actually inside the Div’s domain, although it does help us translate the boasting of some long-dead alchemist. Of course, being the kind of party that just rushes in would be much worse, and probably fatal.

Asrian OoC: Whereas WE are archeologists.

I mean, a team of professionals like ourselves is less likely to stroll up to a mysterious barrier, and see if it’s edible. It’s not often we get to meet the craftsmen that created the tomb chambers either, such as the pair currently arguing about who is the better painter.

Zenobia: Shall we ask if they want a third opinion?
Craftman: *Looking up* You aren’t authorised to be in this area! You invite a taste of the whip!
Nemat: Excuse me for asking an odd question, but what year is it? I think we’ve encountered some strange magic.

They call for their boss, who doesn’t seem to be the kind of guy that will be earning any workplace awards any time soon.

Hussef Daat: Shirking your duties again! *kicks a painter* And what of this lot? Do you require encouragement to labour? Kneel, and submit!
Zenobia: I have an alternative suggestion - take yourself to the summit of this pyramid, emplace yourself thereon, and swivel.

Zenobia expresses her concerns about the workplace conditions by casting Holy Smite on Daat and his Barbed Devil associates, and roasts and blinds both.

Nemat: That will hit Asrian too.
Zenobia: Yes, but it only harms the evil, and Asrian is good. In fact, she’s excellent.
Asrian: That might change what Daat does next.
Zenobia: Will he need help getting to the top of the pyramid?

Unfortunately his retaliatory Fireball kills his employees.

Zenobia OoC: What a pity they didn’t have protection against unfair incineration.

Further along we can hear the cheers of a crowd - and gladiatorial combat arenas were hardly unique to the ancient Romans. Admittedly the Romans didn’t have huge golems in their arenas. It’s also rather odd that the three people that are about to be smashed by the golems are the same three craftsmen we saw in the previous chamber, before they got toasted. Just as well Onka can assume control of one of the large constructs, Nemat can catch the last in Chains of Light, and Zenobia can get the attention of one of the more unpleasant ones before it eats the slaves

Mentu-Nebef: What is the meaning of this! Who dares interrupt the punishment of these slaves?
Zenobia: *sigh* Our names would mean little to you. However, I must say this - my training in the worship of Sarenrae has taught me much of patience, and of forgiveness of the failings of others. But for the last month I have watched people I care about putting themselves in more and more danger, and your master endangers my adopted country, and I have a wedding to plan. So you will sit down, and you will shut up, or I, personally, will jam this sword up your dick.

Of course, that will take about 3 rounds to say, so it’s possible Zenobia’s monologue will be interrupted by exploding golems. At least she’ll have a nice backdrop for her threat.

Nemat: *hums the 1812 Overture*

The golem Onka is puppeting is doing an AMAZING number of Critical Hits.

Zenobia: That must be a very well-constructed golem.
GM: Perhaps you can keep it after the fight.
Onka: It won’t fit through the doors (and I’ve been thinking about it).
Nemat: Besides, we were going to make our own by splitting off parts of our souls.
Zenobia OoC: Look how well that worked for Voldemort.

Mentu-Nebef: ENOUGH! *tearing the cartouche amulet from around his neck and throwing it to the ground in front of Zenobia* There! You have earned your passage! Now return to whatever hole you crawled from!

Nemat: OBVIOUSLY he’s referring to the secret tunnel in the floor we used to get into this level.
Zenobia: OOOOH, I just assumed the ‘hole you crawled from’ was a personal insult.

The next few chambers are variously suspiciously nice or just wildly suspicious. Once again, our skill as archeologists and professional mantra of ‘identify and record everything before you touch anything’ proves invaluable. The next person we encounter appears to be a horribly burned priestess, who claims she was enslaved by the Sky Pharoah after he banned the worship of Osiris.

Zenobia: That DOES sound like something he would do.

Of course she’s lying, as Nemat can easily tell.

Nemat: Here’s a hint - Don’t lie to an Inquisitor.
Zenobia: Well we don’t know WHY she’s lying, she might just be embarrassed. *turns back to the ‘Priestess’* You can tell us the truth, you know, we might be surprisingly understanding.
Asrian: Darling I love you but sometimes you’re too trusting for your own good.

The Priestess reveals her true form.

Nemat OoC: Apparently somebody decided Ursula the Sea-witch was too fat and not ethnic enough.

Nemat gets rid of her with his first spell.

Nemat: I am so done with all this - I just want to find the Sky Pharaoh and apply the beating.
Onka: No no, he belongs in a museum.
Nemat: He belongs in the ground - there’s at least 3 gods that want a word with him.

We sabotage another flying pyramid control system, and trash more of the Sky-Pharoah’s fleet.

Zenobia: I’m just amazed the Pharoah hasn’t taken more of an interest - he MUST know we’re in here by now. We’ve even been taking time for naps.

The last level of the pyramid is presumably going to be water-themed. Just as well we know the spell Life Bubble, which would protect us against being underwater, extremes of temperature, pressure, and poisonous gases.

Zenobia OoC: Ideal if we ever wanted to make a field trip to a Black Smoker.

To get in the last crypt we need to slake the thirst of the resident demon. Onka recalls that blood is a suitable libation. But we don’t have any bottles of manticore blood or random animal corpses left.

Asrian: *sighs and rolls up her sleeve*
Zenobia: *whimper*
Onka: I just heard an unhappy gnoll noise and I don’t like it.
Zenobia: I used to be a butcher and now I’m a healer - I can cut somewhere safe!
Asrian: That’s why I’m handing you the knife.
Nemat: Hold on, I’ve got some Unholy Water at the bottom of this backpack.
Onka: Oh right, you can use that instead of blood.
The Rest of the Party: *give Onka A Look*

The crypt is all canals, complete with creepy funeral barges, with even more creepy ferrymen.

Zenobia: At least I don’t need to use the Collapsible Bathtub as a raft.
Nemat: I still have this Swan Boat token.
Asrian: And we still have Overland Flight.
Onka: And Life Bubble - we could just walk on the bottom of the canal.

We decide to pay the psychopomps anyway, and pile into two of the boats.

Onka: And the lovebirds in the other boat? Hey, we could have had Asrian and Zenobia in the Swan Boat.
Nemat: I’ll let them use it for the wedding

It’s entirely too easy to find the control pyramid, although it’s embedded in ice. Alarm bells are ringing - metaphorically, inside our heads. There’s apparently still no response to our rampage through the rest of the pyramid. We assume that this one has to be a fake and go looking for the real thing. Maybe it’s in the room commemorating the Pharoah’s sister-in-law, who was fed to crocodiles after attempting a coup.

Zenobia: What a charming family.

Although we have a suspicion that ‘fed to the crocodiles’ might mean ‘sealed inside this crocodile statue’. The Banshee and her handmaidens are a more immediate concern, especially since the former nearly kills Zenobia with her screech, and the latter seem inordinately eager to get inside the party members.

Nemat OoC: Well, you do hear a lot of rumours about the nobility and their handservants.

Champions : Return To Edge City : Whacking Day
Hardlight OoC: Why didn’t any of us get the Magus’ contact details?
Hero Shrew OoC: We didn’t realise he was a PC

Hero Shrew: Maybe we need to project the Magus-signal on some low clouds?
GM: And what exactly is the Magus-Signal?
Hero Shrew: A searchlight with a big ‘M’?

A few days later the Shrew-Computer alerts us to break-ins at Saints Row and Peon Place, hangouts of two gangs we haven’t interacted with much.

Hero Shrew: *surfaces from a pile of BugBurgr wrappers* H-wuh?

Hardlight: To the Qruiser!

He’s quite pleased that he gets to use the holographic lights and sirens on the Qruiser.

Hardlight: Whee-OOOOwhee-OOOOwhee *etc*

GM: I still have no idea how to involve the Magus in this.
Flux OoC: Just pull the Coincidence Lever, he happened to be nearby.

There are a bunch of likely bad guys, in distinctive green and gold armour.

The Magus: It's like the Australian Cricket Team, gone bad.

Hero Shrew: So, do these guys have to worry about Testicular Irradiation?
Fireflash: No, they don’t use that shield technology anymore.
The Magus: Not that they’ve been informed. ‘My nuts feel warm, do your nuts feel warm?’
VIPER technician: That’s our new Nutwarmer Technology, don’t worry about it.
Hardlight: And some VIPER mad scientist is crowing about his plan to make sure all VIPER members have serpentine children, and how it’s finally complete.
Fireflash: Actually, that DOES sound like something VIPER would do.

Hero Shrew: If anybody happens to spot the vehicle they came in, let me know and I’ll flip it.
Flux: How will we know it was their vehicle?
Hero Shrew: It’ll be the one that’s advertising something snake-related on the side.

Unfortunately they’re not the pushovers that VIPER agents used to be considered. They also have some rather effective weapons.

Hero Shrew: How far could I throw that truck?
The Magus: Don’t damage civilian vehicles.,
Hardlight: We might have police powers but we don’t have immunity to insurance companies.
Flux: It will be difficult to claim it was reasonable damage if you pick it up and throw it.

Scooter doesn’t end up throwing the truck, but Hardlight does end up unconscious underneath it anyway. Scooter has to jump across the street, into a position effectively surrounded by the bad guys.

Hero Shrew: I would have to say this puts me in a bad place.
Fireflash: Perhaps. Conversely, it’s put all of them into a bad place.

One of the VIPER agents unwisely flies within arm’s length of the team brick.

Hero Shrew: Well, let’s give him a big Hero Shrew welcome *punches out his teeth, and the rest of him across the street* Let’s hope VIPER membership includes good dental care.
GM: It does. It’s one of the selling points - EXCELLENT medical plan.

They’re also smart enough to know when to surrender, while the rest of the bad guys we didn’t know about make their escape. At least they didn’t get to use their hoverdiscs, since we stuck them to the ground with their own glue gun. It appears they were raiding the different gangs for advanced technology. At least we can have all the unconscious gang members arrested for possession of illegal tech. The VIPER agents also all have a cyber-implant we don’t recognise - one stamped with the VIPER logo, and that Flux determines acts as a fact-checker for your brain. Basically, a cybernetic Mental Defense. At least with the Magus and Flux working together, we can locate more of the implants - some over in a Dysprosium Dawn hangout, and some underneath a building in Billington. Dysprosium Dawn are a bit annoyed that VIPER have stolen their tech again, when Flux inquires.

Time for a quick search warrant. Especially since VIPER are classed as a terrorist organisation. Happily, Flux can hide the entire team from cameras and other electronic surveillance.

Fireflash: Magus, while I have a chance to ask, are you intending on staying in town?
Magus: For a while, yes.
Fireflash: In that case I’d like to extend an invitation to join the team.
Magus: I’ll think about it.
Hardlight: We just need you to fill in this paperwork.
Fireflash: No no, we don’t have paperwork - registering with PRIMUS, on the other hand, THAT requires paperwork.

Fireflash exercises one of her new abilities - Retrocognitive Photon Tracing - to try and see how the VIPER guys got into the target building. It doesn’t work, which is odd. The obvious access - stairs and elevators - and probably trapped, or at least more secure than the upstairs cameras that are studiously ignoring us.

Hero Shrew: OK, just want to double-check before we go in - if they have armour I can hit them as far as I like? What if they don’t have armour, but do have powers?
Fireflash: Hit them as hard as you like. But if they have guns, just smush the guns.
Hero Shrew: Got it *cracks knuckles and grins happily*
Hardlight: “Colt .45. Semi-automatic. Play-doh.”

The Magus can teleport most of us in, although Hardlight will have to come down the stairs, since the Magus’ Door Of Shadows hurts him.

Flux: It’s like going through a Resistor *shudders*

They might not be able to see us on the cameras, but they might notice the secret door opening. And the fact that half the walls down here are transparent doesn’t help.

Hero Shrew: They certainly like their open plan layout, don’t they?
GM: This base is nicer than yours.
Fireflash: I assume that warrant you got was a No Knock?

The glass walls means we almost immediately come face-to-face with one of the armoured agents. He seems a bit surprised to see Scooter prowling down the corridor. At least glass walls won’t even slow Scooter down. The concrete ones don’t slow Flux down much either, as he blows out a wall to let Hardlight in.

Fireflash: Those of us with police powers, remember to say as much before you smash someone.
Hero Shrew: ON THE GROUND! THIS IS THE COPS! *Smashes two walls to pieces on way to the bad guys*
Fireflash: REGISTERED SUPERS! SURRENDER OR BE OBLITERATED! *blinds a roomfull of mooks*
Flux: At least I don’t have to admit I’m a cop now - I’d feel dirty.
Hardlight: Surrender Villains! You are under arrest for suspicion of terrorism!
Magus: Tremble before the generally adequate might of Hardlight.

They surrender, but not before warning their superiors and self-destructing their SERPENTINE Network node.

Flux: That’s a pity.
GM: Nobody has ever managed to decrypt the SERPENTINE Network, but they still take the precaution of destroying compromised connections because of, well, people like you, Flux.

Still, some of the equipment they had set up to produce those cybernetic implants wasn’t networked to SERPENTINE, so the specs they used to produce the hundreds they’ve made so far are still on the hardware.

Hardlight: Hint hint, Flux, hint!
Flux: I thought this was a crime scene and I shouldn’t start looting it.

At least we’ve stopped every VIPER agent suddenly getting access to all kinds of cybernetic Addies.

Flux: Can you imagine getting awesome snake powers? And not being able to do anything with them because everyone will assume you’re working for VIPER?

We also find a big pile of stuff they’ve already stolen from Edge City’s gangs, including a bunch of old Iron Guard armour technology that Humanity First somehow got their hands on, in alarming quantity.

Of course, it’s also entirely likely that the local VIPER cell leader in Edge City was never here, since he’s smart enough to trust his underlings to run their own sub-cells around the city.

GM: I mean, look at this place, this is actually a nice place to work!

Sudden good news! Two of the nodes are depowered, not actually wiped yet! If Flux is very careful, he might be able to get useful info off them before they self-destruct. It looks like VIPER had been reverse-engineering some advanced vehicles. It would certainly explain some of the stuff we’ll be auctioning off later.

GM: There’s a handful of Cyberpaths on the same level as Menton is among Telepaths.
Hero Shrew OOC: And they HAVEN’T been assassinated by the Ultron rip-off?
The Magus OOC: One of them IS the Ultron rip-off. And the other is his crazy girlfriend.

We should probably get some proper computer databases installed in our base.

Hero Shrew: It won’t upset the mechanical owl, will it?
Fireflash: Well, if it does he has ways to express it.
Hero Shrew: It’s not like he’ll throw up in our beds.
GM: Well, if he does, it’s probably indicative of some bigger problem.

Flux does go tell Dysprosium Dawn that they should go public with their anti-cyberpathy implant, before VIPER start selling their knock-off stolen version. We might have discovered where some of the interesting tech that went ‘missing’ after that big supertech raid that we instigated got to.

One the other hand, it would appear that one of the VIPER agents that we didn’t catch was working on improving the scanner technology demonstrated at that illegal supertech convention, and he was also vain enough to be driving a high-end colour-change sports car around Edge City. The latter isn’t illegal, as long as you inform the authorities of each colour change - he wasn’t - and driving a completely ordinary vehicle around town would be much less conspicuous anyway, even if he was switching license plates to fake being the others of the same make in SoCal. Using the automated license plate reader records for the city and the driver registrations of the legit drivers the team was able to isolate the common locations for those cars and where VIPER Agent Garry was going.

So we got a warrant for his apartment. Magus then used Garry’s hairbrush to find out he does his work in a small workshop and cabin in the woods - the hunt is on!

Fireflash: We’ll land a bit away and go in one foot so we can surprise him.
Hero Shrew: No smashing our heads through the door and saying ‘Heeeere’s Johnny!’?
Fireflash: He might have a superblaster and blow your head off.
Flux: And that’s assuming he didn’t electrify his door like a sensible person.

Hero Shrew does think to grab the first aid kit out of the Qruiser, just in case, until the GM points out that we never included one in the price of the vehicle. Which is a problem, since as a registered law enforcement vehicle it’s obligated to carry one. We should get onto that.

Hero Shrew : *opens the kit - there’s a few band-aids at the bottom and they’re expired*

GM: Most modern horror takes place in the woods.
Hero Shrew: What are the odds that a VIPER agent would have a basement full of monsters under his cabin.
GM: Pretty low - that’s more of DEMON’s bivouac.

Although it does look like Garry has been practising with a Pulson Blaster, judging by some of the trees he’s been shooting at.

Flux: Well, I’m going Invisible To Cameras, because why wouldn’t I.
Hero Shrew: Maybe he’ll mistake me for a bear.

Hero Shrew and Flux circle around to approach the building from behind. Hopefully he isn’t listening in on radio frequencies.

Hero Shrew: Want me to go ‘Cawcaw! Cawcaw!’ over the communicators when we’re in position?

Hero Shrew: So, who’s moving up first?
Magus: We’d much rather have them shoot at you, than us.
Hero Shrew: Fair enough.

Sneaking around the cabin and sheds suggests Garry is busy welding more armour onto a pair of Big Armoured Suits. They seem a little primitive, technology-wise.

GM: The Mk.I Iron Man suit looks better than this.

Fireflash: Surrender! You are WILDLY outmatched.

Garry goes down without much of a fight. Pity we can’t say the same about the robots. Of course, since Scooter has gone through two walls already, without the excuse of being blasted back through any, it’s debatable which side is doing more damage.

GM: Property Damage, your name is Hero Shrew.
Hero Shrew: Is it really a wall if I can just walk through it?
Magus: Brick-type superheros aren’t allowed to make that argument.

Fortunately Dee and Dum aren’t very bright - one of them even shoots at its own feet after it gets Entangled. It's an educational experience all round, really - for example, Flux discovers why it’s a bad idea to teleport through a Tesla Powerwall, and Hardlight is having trouble keeping Garry trapped in a force bubble. And it turns out that the Tweedlebots are Tyrell domestic robots, extensively modified to get around their hard-wired Three Laws. Not a simple problem - even dressing a homeless person as a robot stopped working the moment the robot realised that wasn’t oil leaking out all the holes. He’s had to install a suite of VR overlays in which Garry is the last human and everybody else is an enemy robot. Scooter has been doing some charity work to occupy his time and improve his reputation - mostly in the construction part of things.

Hero Shrew: Habitats for Inhumanity.

At least the construction industry in Edge City isn’t as hostile towards the superstrong as it is in other parts of the country. And there’s always an orphanage that needs building somewhere.

Hero Shrew: Just doing my bit to support the sidekick industry.
The Rep: I need to put a muzzle on my client. We’d cop less flak having him muzzled then we do if we don’t.

But it looks like there’s going to be a need for more construction in the near future, since a trio of guys in powered armour are trashing a building and stacking cars on the other side of town.

The Magus uses Dark Majesty to try and intimidate the antagonists. It does more to unnerve Flux.

The Magus: Morning All. Are you REALLY sure this is what you want to be doing? It hasn’t worked for anybody else.
Bad Guy P: Uh. Um? Could you stop the fire spreading too far, please?

It would appear that the damage he’s been doing is his attempt to stop the fire he started from spreading to the rest of the city block.

Bad Guy T: RELEASE THE HOUNDS!

There are now a half-dozen cybernetic attack dogs to complicate the next few minutes.

Hero Shrew: Is PETA likely to complain if we do the same thing to cyber-mastiffs that we do to the usual villains?

Admittedly, flinging them around in a residential neighbourhood presents all kinds of different problems. The bad guys attempt to flee, hoping the hounds will keep us occupied.

Bad Guy: Later people, Elvis has left the building.

GM: No matter what happens, the Rep loves Magus.
The Magus: Because it’s much simpler to spin stuff when we’re invisible to cameras.

Scooter manages to leap right through a brick wall.

Hero Shrew: That’s unfortunate - because I wasn’t actually meaning to do that, this time.
Little Old Lady Inside The Building: Tea? *privately thinking ‘This f***ing city’*

The cyber-mastiffs really were a very good distraction - a genuine threat to any civilians that came out to see what was happening in the neighborhood. It’s just as well we dealt with them all before anybody could get bitten in half. It’s also just as well that the Magus spent most of the fight putting the fire out, because there’s a person in a steel net inside the building.

GM: It’s probably why the bad guys were trying so hard to put the fire out when you arrived ‘S*** s*** S***, we’re supposed to be catching this person alive’.

The woman in question is a landscaper, and has no idea why any supervillains would want to kidnap her.

Hero Shrew: Just as well we showed up when we did, then. And put the fire out too, of course.

Although it IS slightly odd that she wasn’t even singed in the out-of-control fire.

Hero Shrew: Well, we should have you checked out by the paramedics when they get here. We don’t want to find out you had smoke inhalation and die of an asthma attack overnight.
Jadwiga Jaworski: *nods vigorously* Yes, we don’t want that.

We wait for the police, firefighters, and animal control to arrive.

Cyber-mastiff: Good Girl? I’m a Good Girl.
Flux: .... Now I feel bad. I just punted one through a fence and into a tree.

The enhanced attack dogs are three male and three female. By coincidence it was the males that went after the Magus.

Hero Shrew: Clearly they know who the biggest bitch in the party is.
Flux: ...the one day Hardlight isn’t here.

Scooter, on the other hand, dealt with the other three.

GM: He did a lot of bitch-slapping. hmm. not sure why that merged the two posts into one - the VIPER-related sessions were supposed to be one post, and the cybermastiffs seperate

Pathfinder: The Mummy's Mask - More Desert Meandering
Heading north in pursuit of the cultists/amateur tomb robbers. It might be the middle of the desert, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t things to encounter - including a scorpion-man in need of proper burial, a Royal Naga archeologist, and some really, really annoying birds. But we do find a river, which is nice, since it means Asrian and Zenobia can wash the dust off.

Onka: And I’m going to camp over here, since I don’t want a knife somewhere uncomfortable.

Zenobia: Any suspicious logs floating about?

This is also the first time that Zenobia has seen her girlfriend undressed in daylight - she has silver-blonde hair, and skin almost as pale as paper. Rather unusual, since we’ve met her family and they’re all ethnically Osiriani.

Nemat OoC: On the other side of the God-Rock, she’d be gorgeous.
Zenobia OoC: I imagine her mother got some cruel accusations after she was born, right up until her father got kicked in the balls.

Asrian is still extremely sensitive about her appearance, despite the fact that Zenobia isn;t at all repulsed.

Zenobia: You’ve seen the way people look at me, before they know me. I’d NEVER think you’re ugly.
Asrian: You’re fuzzy, it’s nice! I look like I’ve been dipped in flour!
Zenobia: Well, let’s see if it washes off *rolls around in the shallows with her for a bit*

Asrian eventually explains that she had a perfectly ordinary complexion when she was younger, but had an encounter with a djinn, and after she was returned from the djinn’s palace, she looked like this. Apparently she had djinn ancestry somewhere on her mother’s side of the family, and her Suli blood got awakened. Which probably explains why her mother insisted she was still beautiful. Zenobia, of course, agrees.

Zenobia: The power of your ancestry shows on the outside. The light of your soul shines inside. You are gorgeous to me.
Asrian: *hugs tight*

Asrian is at least confident enough to go without her veil when we return to the rest of the party, but she’ll have it back on before we catch up with the cultists.

Nemat: You’re actually quite attractive.
Zenobia: MINE.

We also acquire some unusual loot - the power source of some unknown construct.

GM: It’s an ARC reactor.

Of course, all these side quests are going to take us over most of the desert, but it’ll probably be OK since the cultists have no idea we’re in pursuit, and are probably expecting the Lamia and other cultists to catch up with them. Although that assumes we don’t fall victim to things like the stinky stinky goo ghosts that emerge from some of the dunes.

Nemat OoC: Hang on, let me make a ‘Wot Dat?’ roll.

And things like featureless black obelisks are just annoying to the archeologist in the party, even if the proportions aren’t 1:4:9.

Zenobia: What’s the point of putting up an obelisk without inscribing the name of whoever commissioned it?
Nemat: I think the point is if you need to know, you already know.
Asrian: Actually I think the point is up the top there.

It’s actually powerfully and dangerously enchanted, but useful as long as you don’t fry yourself as you put it to use. Happily we have a spell-sage in the party who can fiddle with that sort of thing with minimal chance of spontaneous arc-welding. It’s not the only weird relic out here either of course - arrangements of skull-sized pale rocks also attract our attention.

Zenobia: Blood for the Blood God! Oh wait, they’re not skulls.

Voice from Above: Do not take another step!
Zenobia: *politely takes a step backwards*
Rest of party: That’s a step!
Onka: Let’s hope it’s not a copper dragon.
GM: Actually it’s a blue.
Keferuzagra the Blue Dragon: *lands* This is my garden! Stay away!
Asrian: OK.
Nemat: Nice work.
Keferuzagra: Uh, thanks?
Zenobia: Would you like to show us your garden or is it entirely private?
Nemat: Are you familiar with the Tien form of rock gardening?
GM: *sigh* And you’ve just taken him from hostile to friendly
Onka: Have you tried looking down in the wastelands south of here? There’s basilisks, you might find some interesting rockery.

He invites us to stay the night, to show off his other art, which includes golden statues of dragons. Admittedly gold leaf, but still very nice work.

Nemat: Are you sure you’ve never heard of the Tien forms?
GM: This dragon is SO going to find himself a new lair.
Nemat OoC: Once he finds a couple of portable holes so he can take his rocks and statues with him.

Keferuzagra gifts us an Efficient Quiver he found in an abandoned temple of Sarenrae, before he makes plans to emigrate. Some Tianese rock garden master is going to have something to be smug about, later.

Nemat OoC: We’ll give the quiver to Onka - it’s the Wizard’s Golf Bag.

He also warns us about a temple in the direction we’re heading, dedicated to Areshkagal, the demon lord of portals and riddles. Should be worth checking out, just in case, even if only to add a large AVOID to the map we eventually produce.

Nemat OoC: I’d really like our GM to be familiar with compass directions.

We hear flapping overhead, as we head north.

Zenobia: *peering * Keferuzagra again? No, that’s yellow, not blue. Are there yellow dragons?
Asrian: There’s gold dragons.
Zenobia: No, definitely yellow.
Nemat: Might be a really lost Imperial.

Actually it’s a flock of Yrthaks, huge eyeless flying beasts with a powerful sonic attack.

Asrian: SCATTER!

These things are NASTY. To the point some us go into negative hit points. Lucky for us that half of them plow into the ground when trying to do hairpin turns in mid-air, and that Zenobia can do ranged healing from behind boulders, at least until said boulders get blasted apart by the Yrthaks’ sonic attacks. Things probably would have gone much better for us if any of us had remembered Nemat knew the Silence spell, earlier.

Pathfinder : Mummy's Mask : PC Parkour
Zenobia OoC: Another random wandering monster then?
GM: No.
Zenobia OoC: Ah, this is SUPPOSED to be here then.

GM: Apart from the burning corpse of the giant spider - well, AGAIN corpse -
Zenobia: Double-corpse.
GM: There’s another body. You didn’t see it before because, well -
Zenobia: The room was black with spiders. You said. And now we have a light source.

It’s a recent corpse, wearing a funerary mask. Just like those favoured by the weirdo who took over the Silver Chain, and who was seen lurking around the Necropolis before S*** Got Real. He’s covered in spider bites, but it’s the numerous claw marks and slashing injuries that killed him. He also has a notebook, giving the locations of the Elegiac Compasses, and orders to go to same from one Nebta-Khufre. It also mentions the Sanctum of the Erudite Eye, the Shining Bauble, and a couple of other places that we’ve been to ourselves. Some of them have been crossed out. But the Elegiac Compass that is SUPPOSED to here, isn’t, and nor is there any visible space for an attic.

We head downstairs, where there are some bored mummies. Who stop being bored the moment they spot us coming down the stairs. And paralyse everybody but Asrian with their auras of despair.

GM: Asrian, you slash the nearest mummy across the abdomen. It’s guts are on the floor… Or would be, if it had any.
Zenobia OoC: I was about to say - it’s guts should be in a canopic jar somewhere.

Nemat gets over the paralysis soon enough to attempt to Shackle the mummies to each other. Perhaps we’re making a remake of The Defiant Ones. But given the undead are soon just dead, perhaps not. We rifle through the empty sarcophagi, unfinished scientific and mathematical manuscripts, and a campsite somebody apparently set up in here. But by the looks of of things, they were NOT looting the burial chambers - the mummies got up by themselves later. The LIBRARY got looted. Happily, Nemat knows the Sift spell.

GM: Book, book, scroll, scroll, book, hidden switch, book -
Asrian: Switch?
Nemat: Yeah yeah, I’ll get back to it. Book book, scroll, book.

He also stuff’s Zenobia’s extradimensional backpack with as many books and scrolls as will fit.

There’s a hidden stairway leading up, revealed by the switch. Also something is chattering, but it doesn’t sound like language. It’s a pair of shadowy ghost-skeletons, trying to operate the Elegiac compass. THESE have an aura attack too. But at least we can get a bearing from the compass before heading back to the temple in Wati to get all our mental and spiritual damage healed. And now we know the epicenter of the necromantic energy, a temple and observatory dedicated to Maat and Thoth.

Hopefully Nemat won’t need to seduce a free Restoration out of Sebti the Crocodile.

GM: You know what? I’m going to make all the female NPCs lesbian, just to stop you doing that.
Zenobia OoC: But that won’t stop Asrian or me.
Onka OoC: So you’re screwed either way.
Zenobia OoC: As the actress said to the bishop.

Nemat’s eventual plan is to become a Living Monolith, the walking embodiments of Justice.

GM: Most spellcasters want to be liches. You just want to be a robot.

The Pharasmaens can’t think why somebody would want to set up the observatory as the epicentre of the necromantic ritual, but it is one of the tallest buildings in the district.

Zenobia: At least we can go find that other guy and tell him ‘guess who found the Elegiac compasses?’
Nemat: And ‘Your Nosoi would never have found it’
Zenobia: Can’t operate hidden switches for one thing.

An overnight rest and back into the Necropolis, via the tunnel and rooftops.

Zenobia OoC: PC parkour.

GM: You enter the Observatory of Truth and Wisdom!
Zenobia OoC: Which in most worlds means there’s not much to observe.

Asrian: I’m casting Honeyed Tongue on myself.
Zenobia: … no comment.

Nemat uses the spell ‘Locate Object’ to see if a certain golden mask is anywhere nearby, by contemplating one of the cheaper versions we picked up earlier, and imagining it gold. It is - somewhere underneath the observatory. We can expect to encounter the new master of the Silver Chain real soon...

Pathfinder - The Mummy's Mask : Job Interview
Nemat: When I called you a slippery little pig yesterday it was not intended as a racial slight.
Onka the Half-orc: It’s OK.

Nemat: You CAN airburst Fireballs, you know.
Zenobia: Thereby getting the target, and anybody tall who’s standing nearby?

Nahkt Shepses has set up a small arena for our test. A small crowd has gathered to spectate - which could be a problem since all of us have magic of one form or another, and many spells are Area of Effect. Nahkt is also doing his best to undermine Sebti in his speech to the crowd.

Nakht Shepses: As you may have heard, the Mausoleum has had a slight disagreement yesterday. I and the Voices of the Spire plan to send our greatest Psychopomps throughout the city to root out this undead menace, and uncover the source of the corruption plaguing our city. Sebti and the Pharasmean priests wish to send these adventurers into the necropolis on a wild goose chase for old compasses!
Crowd: *scattered laughter*
Nahkt: So we shall put these ideas to the sword to see whose is strongest! I do not wish to see more death in this city, so the first to render the other unconscious shall be the victor!

Nahkt is siccing his personal psychopomp and two other servants of his particular sect on us.

GM: Welcome to the miniboss.

He magnanimously gives us a chance to prepare. Zenobia, of course, Blesses the party, and Asrian surrounds herself with illusions of herself and Zenobia silently curses where her imagination takes her. The first Esobok pounces Nemat and gets poked in the eyes. Asrian blinds the Vanth with Glitterdust. Nemat insults all the psychopomps with Blistering Invective.

Zenobia: Does Blistering Invective only affect enemies we know about, and how far away is Nahkt?

Onka casts his first Fireball, and Zenobia protects her lover with Shield Other. More battle magic follows. These psychopomps might be tough - and the Vanth especially - but being Stunned, Blinded, Shaken, and on fire isn’t healthy. And since there’s no information otherwise, they probably return to their native plane still on fire.

Nemat: Summoners are pricks.

GM: At this point the Vanth remembers it has a Fear aura.
Zenobia: I’m afraid of nothing when Asrian is in danger.
Nemat: And I think we have emphatically proven that I’m more scary than a Vanth.
Asrian: We are doing quite well.
Nemat: Well, for one thing it’s not a Rakshasa - that set a high bar for this party.

The Vanth yields, but Nemat is still highly annoyed by the curse he got hit with, and expresses this opinion to the crowd.

Nemat: THIS is what you would unleash on this city? Unthinking creatures that will curse even Wati’s defenders?
Nahkt: You will face much worse in the Necropolis.

Of course Asrian trowels on her own abuse, and Nakht backs down.

Nahkt: I am not unreasonable. I apologise for doubting you.
Nemat: Still cursed here.

Onka: There need to be desert penguins.
Nemat: Bear in mind that the wizard said this, adding more weight to the adage ‘A Wizard Did It’

The next morning we prepare for our expedition into the Necropolis. There are three objectives - the Elegiac Compasses, the Xotl, and a clan of atheist Lamias in the Cenotaph of the Cynic that Nakht blames for the whole problem

Asrian: I suggest meeting the Xotl first - we need allies.
Zenobia: That is wise, my love.
Nemat OoC: And we’re still in the Shadowrun part of the adventure - legwork is important. And the Johnson has already tried to screw us. A bit more experience and they’ll trust us to make our own mistakes.

Of course, the moment we’re in the Necropolis, we’re mobbed by ghouls and zombies. Happily, this only slows us down slightly, and we don’t get overrun. The Xotl, when we find them, and holed up tight, and heavily armed. But not in a shopping mall, or US army chemical waste disposal facility. Their Matriarch, Unwrapped Harmony, is willing to see us, but clearly distrustful of anybody that can walk around in the light of the Daystar without bursting into flame. She’s willing to assist us with information, in return for a service.

Zenobia OoC: Sidequest!
Nemat OoC: It just appeared in my journal.

One of Unwrapped Harmony’s clanmates apparently got a little TOO interested in the rituals of Mummification, and experimented on some of his own people. U.H. wants proof of his death.

It's going to take ATW two or three phases to take control of the mech-turkey. Maybe four if the GM makes him actually use a phase to start uploading the turkey schematics to the Worlds Freedom Alliance website (which hosts tech schematics of everything from the earthly mundane to the alien lethal for everyone in the world to see, regardless of patents or so-called "intellectual property rights").
 
Then he'll use his new mech to fight the other turkeys. 
 
 
(ATW is more than a bit of a fanatic and his views should not be construed as the views of this author or his player.)

Any of my characters would call in backup immediately. While Primus handles evacuation procedures, they engage the monsters as best they can.

Badger- "time to feast". (Note: maybe I am channeling online Badger and the Ewokhunters, than super character Badger here. But, all of my characters will of some variance be taking home "leftovers" after the battle"😂

Quasar - Clearly the technology-based threat is the largest one.  "We've got to intercept that Mech-Turkey before it reaches downtown.  Non-flyers, to the Hoverjet!  The rest of you, form up on me!"  A few kinetic blasts should bring it down.  After all, it can't be tougher than Mechanon.  Can it....?
 
Shadowhunter - "That asshat Quasar just flew off with all the heavy hitters!  How the hell am I suppose to handle a giant, mutant turkey all on my own?  sigh.. Same way I handle everything ELSE all on my own - Hide in stealth, observe to find weakness, ambush from behind, called shot to the giblets!"  The opening shot would be an HE blast.  Follow that up with a bolo entangle while it's stunned.  Flash attack to blind it while it can't dodge.  Then more high explosives.  Finish it off with knockout gas.  Pick a tail feather as a trophy, because it pisses off the original Shadowhunter SO MUCH.  
 
Mystica - "Cultists! Feh!  Eat by turkey demon is small price for foolishness!  Mystica would no have been so kind.  And now, gobble-devil, I send you back from where you came.  I send you, and I charge you - Tell the turkey demons.  Tell your story.  Tell them you saw THE WRATH OF MYSTICA!!!!!"  Then the 4d6 RKAs fly until one of them is dead.  Summoning demons, that's kind of a hot button with this one. (She actually has a limited Code Against Mercy, and a Reputation - Slayer of Morbanes.)

Lady Heart: Rob would be cautious, but wouldn't exactly be eager to fight (s/he thinks if s/he resorts to violence outside of self defense or the defense of others is wrong). Rob would probably think it might be one of his magical enimies (maybe Incubus or the Dark Kingdom from Sailor Moon or Dark Agency from Salor V). Which is more likely Zoicite in disguise. 
 
Sunburn: He is in semi-retirement and a public identity, so of course a shape changing mutant would assume his identity. But can the ganger be able to mimic John's powers of light absorption and emition? He'll find out soon.
 
Sailor Titan: Not a Champions character but created for a Amino roleplay. It would be likely be either one of two things.
 1) Her younger self using Sailor Pluto's Time Door to pay her Crystal Tokyo self a visit.
 2) A youma created to discredit Sailor Titan. 
 In 1 there will be no fight at all. In 2 there has to be a fight.

Martin Power: "Oh, good.  😕    It's going to be one of _those_ days again...." then largely ignore it until something threatening actually happens.
 
The Good Guy: "Wha-- aw, _CRAP_!  Aw crap aw crap aw crap--!  NO!  NooOOOooOOO!  It can't be!  It can't be!  I've worked so hard- so stupidly hard!  And for what?  Just to find out I'm an evil twin?!  I didn't know!  I swear; I did NOT know!  How?  How could I know?  No one expects to become an evil twin!  Why would you even-- THE GUNS!  [stares at the guns in his hands as if he has never seen them before.  Glances at reflection in storefront window and the bandoliers strung around him and the four long guns on his back]   The gun!  Oh my _GAWD_!  I should have known!  I should have known right away!  The guns!   I have _always_ been the villain.... [breaks into sobs and tears]   it's too late....   it's too late.....    Damn.   Well, I guess it's a done thing, then.  Time to get started on that killing spree.....    [points gun at doppelganger] Hey, Handsome!  Smile for the camera! [fires.  a lot.]  Wha---?  Non lethals?!   Crap, I'm an idiot, too!  [fires some more.  Stops. Looks apologetic]  I'm sorry; I'm sorry....  Look, I only just found out I'm evil like.... like, two minutes ago.  I'm not happy about it, but it is what it is.  So, if you'll wait right there for just a few minutes while I do a little shopping [fires different gun].  Crap!  Okay, a _lot_ of shopping-- anyway, I'll be right back, okay? [fires different gun. Looks at carbon copy]  Gawd... so much shopping....  Okay, look, I'll be right back.  Don't go anywhere...!   Wait a minute-- I'm an evil twin!  I can _steal_ the stuff I need!  Sweet!"
 
Armorine: is full-well aware that there are at least four other copies of her, and will assume that this is one of them.  Study / investigate, act accordingly.
 
 
 
 

Sorry, guys: this one takes a bit of set-up.  Well, no; it _doesn't_ take a bit of set-up.  I just wanted to brag a little about getting to be a _player_ for the first time in a few years!   Out of town, ran into-- of all the people on earth-- Davien.  His buddy / GM has rented a table at a joint in the 'boro, and he's headed there, and asks if I'm interested.   I recall just what a horrible player Davien was, but if he's not running......
 
Short version:  I tagged along, GM offered me a pre-gen, and we sat down to play what he estimated to be a four-hour session using his freshly-acquired reprint of TFT.  Won't say I wasn't insanely jealous.  😕
 
blah-blah-blah we have spent the past three game days trying to talk one character (and his asinine player) into letting the fairies go.  We had to travel through a fairy-infested wood (this GM's fairies were cute, and very dangerous) and the player had decided to capture a couple and "breed them" to sell them as good luck charms.  "Fairies," everyone (except me; I was just playing essentially an NPC, as, being fair to the group, I was up-front about not having played TFT since discovering Champions way back when, so I was more "character actor" than mover and shaker) including the GM tells him-- "do _not_ bring good luck!  They may have brought good luck with some other group or some other game, but in this world, in this game, they do not bring good luck."
 
Didn't sink in.  He wouldn't let it go.  Day three (game time), the GM thinks he has it sussed out: when Jack the Jerk (who has completely de-railed the game, meaning there is no way I am going to see the session concluded) goes to feed his fairies, he notices that he can't breed them; they are both female.
 
Does this encourage him to let them go?
 
_NOOOOoooOOOOooo_!   He pitches a stink about going back to the fairy wood so he can capture a male, blah-blah-blah.
 
Day six, game-time, and we have already flat out _missed_ a Relatively Important Event screwing around with "but fairies are good luck!" guy.   As we're making camp (_again_), one of us hears something-- a song?  A chant?  A prayer?  
 
He alerts us and we snap to attention, weapons on hand, keen to find the sound.   We trace it to the little basket cage with the two she-fairies.  
 
"Well, what are they saying?"
"Do any of you speak fairy?"
A round of "no" from the table, save Mister Fairy Breeder, who says "I have two languages that might be like fairy, and a couple unspent points.  I could use them to know Fairy."  The GM rules that this guy is passingly familiar with Fairy, but doesn't actually speak it; he just recognizes various patterns:  angry speech; friendly speech: pleading, etc.  Further, he rules that they are clearly chanting together, and that it's not a song, but a prayer.
 
"So what are they saying?"
"You don't speak fairy; we've established that."
 
"Right, but I should be able to know what the words are."
"Okay, you recognize fairy words!"  (GM clearly _well_ beyond perturbed)   "Happy now?  You know that they are sing-chanting a prayer."
"But what are the words?!"
GM, starting to say something supremely snarky, as we've all realized this whole adventure is scrapped (we'd been just beyond the fairy wood for six game days, and nearly four real hours.  PC-on-PC violence was a very real possibility at this point, but Dingbat just failed to pick up on it), then his face has that flush of absolute relief, of hope, of-- it bore all the signs of a deeply frustrated man who has been struck with true inspiration, and an idea that could solve all his problems.   He beamed a closed-mouthed smile so wide that I was willing to bet real money on just how much it physically hurt.  Then he says "well, you don't speak fairy, of course, but the haunting beauty of their prayer captivates you; you are spell bound, mesmer--"
 
"Are they mind-controlling me?!  Fairies can't mind control!"
 
As if there had been no interruption, the GM continued "there is resolve, peace, longing-- the truest, deepest of emotion in their voice.  It touches something in you, and you feel as if you have transcended your mortal form, shaken free of all concerns---"
 
"But what are the words?!  If I can understand fairy, then I should know the words!"
 
GM, in a hollow, lilting falsetto that was actually quite impressively musical:  
 
"Mosura....   y  Mosura.....    Dongan kasakuyan indo mu......"
 
Duke's character:  "Well, I'm totally creeped out, and tired of arguing with this clearly crazed person, and I leave my tent and my bedding and hop on my mount and take off as fast as the fading sunlight will let me!"
Davien's Character "Yep; Duke's right behind me!"
 
 
   
 
So Davien and I left, met up to grab some food and a couple beers (not in a restaurant, of course; despite what our idiot governor thinks, there's a plague about), caught up for an hour or so, remembered why we don't keep in touch, and went home.  I swung back by the game joint in time to see the GM and one of his players leaving together.  "So.....   Giant moth?"
 
"Colossal moth.  Humongous dragon-eating moth."
 
"Good to know."
 
I fired up the truck and went home.   
 
 
 
I have to say, I was sort of impressed; I didn't know anybody remembered more that the first line of that song. 
 

Each ATW would first analyze the tech the other ATW has to see if he can learn something new. Then he'd say hi. Then he'd start to get ideas about plans he could pull off if there were two of him instead of one.
 
 
 
(information should be free)

Champions: Return To Edge City : Do Not Poke The Synchronoclastic Infundibulum
 
Hardlight’s player: I tried for Lord of the Flies for my new Twitter handle, but apparently Mike Pence already had it.

Me: I can clearly picture some of the comic panels from Antihero Shrew in the Liefeld Continuum - Shrew handcuffed and beaten in some kingpin’s penthouse, villain is monologuing, Shrew says “I have one question - who has two thumbs and can bench-press a truck?”. Then he snaps the handcuffs, and the next panel is the kingpin with two bloody eye sockets, being thrown from the penthouse window. Or two cops clearly about to sexually assault a sex worker, and there’s a soft thump behind them as Antihero Shrew lands on their patrol car. “Hghnnn. I can play ‘hide-the-truncheon’ too.”

We’ve found out what’s at the bottom of Lake Effinger. It’s a Tesseract, bracketed by two Atlantean underwater torches. One has to wonder if that alien engineer who nearly blew up California knew it was there. Or whether Doctor Destroyer knew about it, when he helped save California by lending the Champions etc some of his antigrav tech.

Hero Shrew: So do I poke it with a stick now?
The Magus: Please don’t poke it with a stick.
Hardlight: Yeah, I have a perfectly good telekinesis power.

Fireflash: So, is something going to come through it and attack us?
The Magus: It’s been down here for years, if anything was going to come through it it already would have.
Hero Shrew: Well, that’s tempting fate.

The Magus: As the closest thing we have to an expert, I advise against adding high energy phenomena to the strange glowing ball.

The way it turns into a hypertorus when we get closer is a little alarming, and the Magus dissuading Hardlight from poking the thing is probably the only reason we don’t star in a reboot of Sliders. Weldun has to come up with an entirely new adventure, because Hardlight actually showed restraint. We wall up the underwater cave and leave.

Flux: It’s been perfectly fine for an indeterminate amount of time and will hopefully be well and truly not our problem by the time it isn’t.

Perhaps we should figure out which of Edge City’s occult organisations has been messing with the city’s geomantic aspects. Or at least somebody, or a very rare book, that can give us a hint. Maybe the Doom Platoon?

Hardlight: Well, they do smuggle stuff. Maybe they acquired a… book?
Flux: …. Huh.
The Magus: That’s actually worth checking out,

GM: At least the occult community of Edge City doesn’t use Moreaus as a source of animal parts for rituals. They universally agree that they’re people.
The Magus: So they just use them for human sacrifices.

Flux: As much as I trust the Magus as an upstanding person who happens to creep me out, I don’t trust him enough to hand over the Tablet of Khejimeth.
GM: Imagine how he’s going to react when he finds out you had that.
The Magus OoC: Actually you’ve been doing pretty well with that - for the last few thousand years it’s basically been a fancy paperweight.

We should probably introduce the Magus to Gareth’s druids too, before he elaborates on his theory that Gareth Lowell is behind it all.

Hardlight: They’re not my druids!
Flux: No, they’re the local branch of Lo-Carb Real Estate, under contract by Lowell-tech LLC to provide agricultural support and manufacturing. Merger/Hostile Takeover Pending.
GM: Actually, I think Lowelltech is publicly traded.
Hero Shrew OoC: But LoCarb is LLC?
GM: Absolutely, they’re a bunch of hippies.

Flux: The Magus, meet the fertility druids. Fertility druids, meet The Magus.
LoCarb Druids: I wish you’d stop calling us that, we’re not fertility druids, we just use aspects of fertility magic in our Work.
The Magus: They’ve been calling me THE Magus since they met me, which is wildly overblown.

As it happens, one of the druids HAS heard of the geomancy book, The Whispering Path, that the Magus has been trying to hunt down. It was offered for auction in Edge City a few decades back, and his mother was quite put out when she was outbid. Further, the druids are pretty sure that at THREE influences messing with the geomancy of Edge City, with two based in Western Geomancy, and one Eastern. At least nobody has been adding South American geomancy to the mix.

The Magus might also want to talk to that Chinese demon that showed up too. If it causes trouble, he can also seal it inside a jade box.

The Magus: The problem is getting a big enough box.
Flux: Well, I can find one, but it’ll annoy some people. Will Candii with two ‘i’s do?

The Humanity First trial has hit a slight stall - they’re claiming that they can’t be charged with planning mass murder, because Moreaus aren’t human. And that the terrorism charges don’t apply because at the time they were apprehended they were decanting Black Smoke into safer containers. There are also some legal precedents looming that we don’t know about yet, but which threaten to make the case far more prolonged then we would like.

Hardlight: Well, I’m certainly happy to be called to the stand, but I probably shouldn’t be because I’ll just f*** things up.
GM: Gareth has clearly been spending a lot of time with the druids, that was some impressive self-awareness there.

Hero Shrew: Shouldn’t we tell somebody about that tesseract?
Fireflash: The question is who.
The Magus: Your PRIMUS handlers, perhaps?
Flux: I don’t recall agreeing to that.
The Magus: You might want to check the paperwork you signed. I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to tell them if you find anything like the tesseract.
Flux: Is there a time limit?

That technophile at Fireflash’s college, who invented the superbatteries, is in the news again. He part-sold the technology to a company called Diamondback.

Hero Shrew: DIAMONDBACK?????
GM: Yes, it’s a relatively new company, only a few years old.
Hero Shrew: Uh-huh. And when did the last front company for VIPER fold?

Actually, no front company with any brains would invite superhero attention with a name that obvious.

The Magus: And no company with any brains would pick a snake name because VIPER would show up and tell them ‘join us or die’.

Although they do seem to have suckered the inventor, and likely have an even better grasp of new technology’s potential than he did. The inventor also comments that he was getting intense romantic interest from somebody they both know (probably just golddigging).

Inventor: And there’s another guy I pay to help me with the corporate stuff, and he gives me good advice, but every time I feel like I need a shower.
Fireflash: … it’s The Rep, isn’t it.

His involvement is probably the only reason the inventor wasn’t completely railed by Diamondback, but it also appears that somebody higher up in that company sent the order down to give him a better deal than expected.

The other corporate entities in the city have been really pushing to invest inside the city, despite the economic drainpipe it’s constantly circling.

GM: It’s like they’ve finally realised they’re stuck here too.
Hardlight: Edge City - It’s Too Big To Fail

Scooter has been moping a bit since the whole Humanity First raid - he hasn’t been needed to punch anything since he nearly killed that mook, and he’s been feeling bad about not telling the Zoo’s leaders just how much danger the Moreaus were actually in. He probably should have told them earlier, but it’s too late now since all the details are coming out in the trial anyway. But as it happens, most of the Moreaus are sympathetic about the dilemma he was in.

GM: It helps that Pastor Doug has been one of your supporters,
The Magus OoC: Wait, a pasta chef? Oh wait, a priest.
Hardlight OoC: Now you need to stat up Pasta Doug.
GM: NO I DON’T. …. Itsa me, Doug! And the Danger Noodles aren’t old enough to be involved in anything yet anyway.
Hardlight: How are the Danger Noodles doing?
GM: You have no idea, they’re still in an undisclosed location.
The Magus: I didn’t think there were any serpentine Moreaus.
GM: There weren’t until recently. A Genesys splinter lab was making them, and they got rescued, but that got UNTIL interested, and VIPER showed up as well.
The Magus: Like I said - anything remotely snaked-themed and VIPER just HAS to get involved.

Scooter does want to get some legal advice, though, given it’s quite likely he’ll get called in as a witness, and having somebody as honest and unfiltered as the shrew-Moreau in the stand is going to be a nightmare. He goes to talk to the community leader Simon.

GM: Well, you get to see a look of sheer terror cross his face as he realises ‘Oh S***, Scooter could get called to the stand.’
Hardlight: That’s worse than me being called up.
The Magus: Wouldn’t it invalidate their own argument if they call a Moreau up to the stand?
Simon: … If the defense does, yes. And the prosecution isn’t likely to want you to testify.
The Magus: I seem to recall a case where a dog was called in to testify.
Simon: If they DO call you up, just say it’s all in your statement. You DID tell the truth in your statement, didn’t you? And you can ALWAY refer to your notes. They told you about the importance of note taking in your police powers training course, didn’t they?
Hero Shrew: I usually put anything like that into my phone.
Simon: You’ll probably want a separate notebook. And remember: if they ask any questions about what happened, you can ALWAYS say ‘I’m checking my notes’
Hero Shrew: I’ll make a note of that.

Simon also tries to put a small telepathic compulsion on Scooter, to ensure he doesn’t f*** up the case. It bounces off Scooter’s thick skull, unnoticed.

GM: Simon is SO glad that his psychic abilities are invisible, because if Scooter ever realises that Simon has been psychically manipulating him, he’s going to be a smear on the wall.

There’s a rally on Moreau rights coming up - somebody invited Scooter. Since most of the headline speakers are actually Moreaus, it’s hopefully not some kind of trap (just having Scooter there is asking for trouble as it is). Simon has a speech.

Simon: For a decade and a half, there has been a debate in this nation, centered on this city. The subject of this debate is whether the artificial beings known as "Moreaus" are “people-” whether they possess the same degree of personhood as humans, and whether that entitles them to the same rights. The implications of this debate extends to all sophonts and their place under the law.
But let me make this argument. The law is built on assumptions. It is assumed that a person over the age of majority is competent and able to understand their rights and responsibilities. Until proven otherwise. It is assumed that a person is law-abiding and peaceable. Until proven otherwise. I put to you that any being that requests that they be recognised as a person, is capable of true cognition and understanding the rights and responsibilities that come with personhood. Until proven otherwise.
We are going forward into an era where we not only face even more artificial beings entering society, but will also begin to reach out into the stars where we already know, know for a certainty, that there are other thinking, reasoning beings. I put to you that the only reasonable position for the law, going forward into this era, is to assume personhood for any being capable of requesting it.
We Moreaus request that we be recognized as persons. We request that we be able to fully enter society. We request that we be able to work at real jobs and pay our taxes openly. We request that we be protected by, and held accountable to, the law. This is all that we have ever asked for in the fifteen years of our existence. We have been patient. We have been polite. We have not made demands.
Yet.

A lot of people are murmuring about the Enclave Proposal, afterwards, but that idea has been talked about for years as well.

That Chinese demon who has been hanging around trying to fulfil his contract is here too - somebody gave him a ticket. The residents of the Zoo are quite used to him, and in fact, have started a new sport of teasing him about his rules regarding ‘only attacking those who challenge them’.

GM: Demon-baiting has become a thing.

Xiǎo Lǎbā would quite like to go home, but unless one of us can contact The Magus, it’s not like any of us can help.

Scooter also notices that a number of Moreaus are talking more reasonably then they usually do. It’s a bit out of character honestly.

Hero Shrew: But then I’m being more reasonable than usual myself *eyes cricket-on-a-stick suspiciously*.

It’s not all Moreaus in the crowd, though, there are plenty of humans in the crowd. Although one of them, a rather gothic woman currently talking to a Moreau voodoo priestess, one Modena, that Scooter knows but hasn’t really interacted with, is having an odd effect on the surrounding crowd. Moreaus keep recoiling from her for no obvious reason. The two of them are talking in Haitian creole. Scooter is aware that the Moreau has a reputation of being powerful enough that the Voodoo Crew avoid her, but the two are talking amicably enough. He asks one of the people that recoiled why they react like that, but they’re not sure, and just complain about something feeling off, and feeling cold. He calls Flux over to investigate.

Hero Shrew: He’s the closest thing we have to an expert on Mystic S***.

Flux at least has come in costume today - Hardlight is in his civilian ID. Flux can actually introduce himself as another practitioner, assuming he can bring himself to actually interact with somebody.

Flux: Enjoying yourself?
Modena: Why wouldn’t I be? My people are finally getting the rights they deserve.
Mystery Woman: I have a personal interest myself *holds out a very cold hand*. Laura Hollis. My people deserve rights as well.
Flux: A pleasure to meet you. I have to say that the books and movies haven’t done you justice.
GM: Oh s***, you recognise the name?
Flux OoC: Well, cold, pallid, animals avoid her, there’s not that many types of intelligent undead about.

In fact, he assumed she was one of the loa. The fact that Hollis is a vampire will be a shock.

Flux OoC: I’ll probably realise later and s*** myself.

Hollis has a point - undead have even fewer rights than AIs. Although that might have something to do with the diet - she doesn’t smell of anything but perfume and her last meal, whoever that was.

The Enclave idea is *really* taking off - if Simon is using his psychic abilities on the crowd, it certainly isn't obvious. In fact, he seems a little perturbed by how intense but calm the crowd is. Flux reports ‘Don’t worry, she’s just an undead’ then has to hurry off and blank some security cameras so Hardlight can change into his superhero costume without anybody wondering what happened to Gareth Lowell.

Hardlight: Greetings, citizens! I mean, future citizens!

At least he can scan the crowd now. Hopefully he’ll remember not to use ultrasonics around Moreaus. He confirms that Hollis’ body temperature is no higher than room temperature, but there don’t seem to be any other undead or cyborgs or other oddities among the locals. He does spot somebody he should recognise - one Matthias Winslow, the Owner/Proprietor of the Lunar Lounge cinema, and other properties. Unusually for a wealthy Edger, he has no implants. He shows up in the society pages sometimes, and has a minor reputation as a letch.

The Pharaoh’s pyramid has spikes, and lightning.

Nemat: Oh god, he’s gone full edgelord.

He also has colossal scorpions as guard dogs, which does him no good at all since the entire party is invisible and flying. Doesn’t stop the slightly-built woman that appears out of thin air and a blast of trumpets at the top of the pyramid and strolls unconcerned down the side towards us. It’s the same woman who was doing the illicit research in the secret library, months ago. She addresses us, the entire area, and, as we’ll learn later, is doing the same from smaller pyramids hovering over every major town in Osirion.

Spokeswoman: These are the words of Hakotep the First, Lord of the Sands, Scourge of the Shory, Most Beloved Son of Set, Glorious and Eternal Sky Pharaoh of Osirion! Let all who would grow wise fall silent and listen!
Zenobia: Well, we can probably still hear her if we go inside, so let's go inside.
Nemat: No no, she might give the game away.
Zenobia: ‘Don’t stop the bad guys when they’re monologuing’
Spokeswoman: Rejoice, faithful of Osirion! Your god and pharaoh has returned to rule over His lands and His people with strength and wisdom, to return the kingdom to the glory lost by His unworthy successors!
Nemat: Actually she’s not saying anything useful, I’ll just cast Silence.

The woman splits into two, one image continuing her spiel, and the other looking at us and heading towards us.

Spokeswoman: Is it you who called down the pyramid? Who would dare impede the Sky Pharaoh in his divine undertaking? Who would stand in the way of a living god?
Asrian: Yes.
Zenobia: Well, we’re not going to lie.

She seems a bit unprepared to deal with anybody that isn’t as prolix as her.

GM: STOP BREAKING THE NPCs

Spokeswoman: If you wish to meet He who wields the Crook and Flail of Kings, you must demonstrate your worthiness by traversing the Fourfold Path—Walk on the Wind, Breathe in the Water, Swim through the Soil, and Dance in the Fire. Only those sorely tested may come into the divine presence of the Most Beloved Son of Set.

Nemat: I can do all of those. But I’ll need Onka’s help for one of them.
Asrian: Or we can just obliterate you.
Spokeswoman: I would like to see you try.
Nemat: Thank you! That’s exactly what we were waiting for - permission!

But the spokeswoman is clearly an illusory projection.

Nemat: I’m not going to waste a reply on somebody who doesn’t have the courage to be here in person.
Spokeswoman: *smiling sweetly* Then perhaps, mortal, we shall meet in person.

Hopefully we’ll survive that long - some of the challenges inside the pyramid are amazingly nasty.

Nemat: Did you just kinkshame a chaos beast to death?

We also discover that some of the sarcophagi are just painted wood.

Asrian: I’m getting the impression that Pharoah-guy is just cheap.

He probably spent all the money on the Hurricane Shaft - not fun. Especially since we literally have enough rope to hang ourselves. Asrian manages to run up along the wall without being Mixmastered, to place some helpful ropes.

Zenobia OoC: At least I don’t have a heart attack.
GM: You do see her slip.
Asrian: She’s seen my slip many times.

And of course then something like this happens



And who would have guessed that a thorough knowledge of funeral practises would be relevant? We all turn to our local expert, Nemat. Of course after so many instances of poorly done funerals leading to Problems, having a properly done funeral leading to Bigger Problems is entirely apropo for this campaign.

Zenobia: Can Nightmare Vapour poison be counteracted by cuddling?

And it looks like somebody actually considered the possibility of adventures flitting around like swallows, since Asrian triggers a Dispel Magic trap while she’s flying over a 300ft-deep shaft.

Zenobia OoC: And now Zenobia has that heart attack.

Fortunately it negated her Delay Poison first, and she knows Featherfall anyway. It also turns out that the Pharaoh had a rather geeky son that Nemat probably would have quite liked, and that the Pharaoh thought well enough of to get a statue of Thoth made to represent him. He might have been an evil ****, but at least he was fond of his kid. Typically arrogant, of course. The kid’s mum, on the other hand, was apparently a follower of the Dark Tapestry.

Asrian: So she’s probably gone on to her fate worse than death.
Onka: And good riddance.

Unfortunately it looks like we’re going to break into the kid’s sarcophagus. None of us want to - he seems like he would have been an OK kid. Maybe we should ask his spirit for permission first?

GM: oh my god why must my players try to make friends with everything including THE LONG DEAD. They've Undertale'd half this adventure I swear.

Even if the Pharaoh didn’t go bonkers until after his son was killed, it’s practically certain that the sarcophagus will be trapped out the wazoo.

Zenobia: Well, at least it’ll give Nemat more time to copy down the hieroglyphs.

As it turns out, it’s enchanted with a illusory trap.

Onka: So cheap he didn’t even set traps on his own son’s grave.
Zenobia: Better than getting a False Negative on the Detect Traps..

Even better would be not having to fight a pair of giant fire-immune lightning birds. Asrian’s skillset isn’t going to be very useful here.

Zenobia: You’ll just have to handle the Wand of Cure Light Wounds.
Nemat: I refrain from commenting on your knowledge of her wand-handling skills.

Zenobia OoC: If I CAN banish them it’ll be Thunderbirds Go!

Nemat Chains of Light them - they plummet to the bottom of the 300ft shaft.

Asrian: That might not kill them.
Nemat: It’s THUDD at the very least.

Zenobia OoC: Now we defeated the Zapdosses, do we put them in our Pokéballs?



GM: ah, so that's why Asrian fell in love, you can't help but boop that snoot
Asrian OoC: That, and taking a lover who wouldn't judge her appearance. Asrian has serious body image problems.

Nemat OoC: I need healing, I have a booboo.
Asrian OoC: Imagine how much you’d need if you had a Yogi.

Zenobia: Would it be asking for trouble if we take bets on what’s in the next tomb?
Asrian: Yes.
Zenobia: Just as well I’m not a gambling gnoll then.
Nemat: Well, the last few were thematically appropriate, so the shrine of the Sphinx will be a sphinx. Or my girlfriend, according to you guys.

It’s a mummified sphinx.

Zenobia: Your girlfriend isn’t looking too well there.

Androsphinx: *hisses* Finally, some visitors!
Asrian: Do you need a cough drop?
Androsphinx: I’ve been here ten thousand years, I don’t think a cough drop will achieve much.
Nemat: Actually it’s been closer to two and half.
Androsphinx: It felt much longer.

Zenobia is appalled that a thinking being has been locked up in here that long without any contact with the outside world or even anything to read. We attempt our usual trick of talking them around to our side, or even just escorting them out of the pyramid for some fresh air.

Nemat: Oh no we aren’t - do I have to explain androsphinxs? They’re evil rapists. And probably have baby-eating in their description. If anything, becoming a mummy probably improved his disposition.
Androsphinx: So do you want the riddle or do you want me to eat you?
Nemat: Oh, we’ll try the riddle first.
Androsphinx: Excellent choice, I do so enjoy them.

He gives us the riddle, which Zenobia solves instantly:

Asrian: She from the desert. There’s nothing to talk about but sand and camels out there.
Nemat: Allow us to introduce ourselves - we’re the Covenant of Wati. Adventurers and scholars.
Androsphinx: Ah. Not the usual meatheads then. Well, do what you want, I’ll be back in ten minutes. I’m going for a walk.

We’re left in charge of one of the control panels for the Pharaoh’s fleet of flying pyramids. Asrian suggests we order them to fly into an infamous manastorm that should scuttle them quite nicely. Or better yet, just inform them all that the Covenant of Wati has infiltrated the other pyramids and they should attack each other. And then shut down the interface completely. Pity we don’t have time to saw it off the base and take it with us.

Asrian: It’s emerald, I want it.
Zenobia: I thought it was gnolls that like emeralds.

We head off to sabotage another level of the main pyramid, although we do return the late Prince’s mask.

Asrian: It’s not his fault his dad is a d***.

Unfortunately the next level apparently requires the sacrifice of a sentient humanoid before we can get in.

Nemat: Or I can just knock repeatedly, because f*** that s***
GM: There’s no response.
Nemat: I meant knocking with my adamantium hammer.

Unfortunately, the entire passage is trapped and we get somewhat toasted. It would appear the entire area is the home of some kind of major fire demon. This, presumably, is the Path of Fire.
     

We’re looking at two more players joining the campaign.
 
Hardlight: So we’re not Quadrant anymore, and now we’re Sextant?
GM: That could be unfortunately apropos, depending how Matt’s character works out.
Flux: Oh dear.
GM: At least it means your team vehicle won’t be the Quadraphibious Qruiser anymore.
Hero Shrew: So now it’ll be the Sex Wagon?
Flux: Can I put a veto on that right now? That’s not marketable.
 

Champions - Return To Edge City - Fur Suit Riot
Pre-game conversations meandered from why we don’t have rhinos in Australia, through Ramses the Great (famous military moron), to how Weldun and Sundog’s respective ancestors ended up owning most of Scotland.

Anyway - Flux and Hardlight are investigating why one of Edge City’s Freeweb servers is offline. While in their civilian identities. And four ugly Moreaus have pulled up and are heading in after them. Just as well Hero Shrew and Fireflash were nearby, monitoring things, just in case something like this happened.

Hero Shrew: So we’ve got a crocogater, a badger, and cybernetic wolf …. Whatever that is.
GM: It’s not a very flattering picture of her.
Hero Shrew: But she’s running around in a bra?
GM: … Wha… that’s a backlaced shirt - it’s just a dark image, OK?

Although we don’t know it, the Moreaus are Convel (the Cyborg Wolf), Geert (a rather Mouthy - hur-hur -'Gator), Lilith (Electrokinetic Black Jaguar), and Magne ( a Speedster Badger).

Fireflash: Hello gentlemen! Bit late for a maintenance visit, isn’t it?
GM: … well, that makes it easy. The cybernetic wolf attacks you.

With wrist-mounted blasters, no less. And the badger starts tunneling into the ground.

Hero Shrew: What? Things are happening? Well, better get involved. I’ll run and punch... hmm.
GM: Which one? Convel the wolf?
Hero Shrew: Sure, he looks like he could take it.

At least Flux and Hardlight can get into costume fast.

GM: Flux has the Morphing Suit and you’ve got ‘HERO ON!’

Of course, there are also cameras all over Edge City.

Hardlight: … I’m running off to the loo. No cameras in there.
Flux: You’re invisible to cameras when you’re near me!
Hardlight: Good point.

Flux: *looks at the Crocogator* Hmm, I remember you. You beat me up that time
GM: Actually that was a different anthropomorphic crocodile.
Flux: Ah, sorry - I was being inadvertently racist.

The Crocogater: Oh look, the fuzzball has come out to play.
Hero Shrew: Yep, that’s me.
The Crocogater: What’s the matter? Didn’t you want to mess with the hard one? *narrowly misses Scooter with a superstrength trick*
Hero Shrew: Well, I’ll take your word for it. I’ll start hitting you instead.

Fireflash is exchanging fire with an increasingly berserk Convel.

Convel: BITCH!!!!
Hero Shrew: You’re a wolf, wouldn’t calling someone a bitch be a compliment? Also, does anybody where that badger was digging to?

Flux does. And blasts the area with lightning.

GM: Poor Magne.

Apparently the mystery bra-wearer is an electrokinetic jaguar Moreau, named Lilith, and she’s having major difficulty getting the wolf to calm down and act rationally.

Hero Shrew: I’m not surprised. Since when would a dog listen to a cat?

The crocogator has trouble getting back on his feet, too, after Scooter’s first haymaker.

Hero Shrew: Hi again *punch*

Lilith evidently decides that hanging around will be counterproductive, what with the four of us variously stunning, blinding, sucker-punching and variously taking the rest of her team down and making sure they stay down. Flux and Hardlight return to the building, so they can change back into their civilian Ids and pretend they missed the whole fight. It’s not like Edge City’s cameras caught their involvement. Although if the superhero forums take an interest...

GM: By the way, the reason Convel went berserk was because he HATES superhero banter.

Scooter eventually recognises the crocogator as the drummer that lives the hall from his apartment.

Hero Shrew: Hey! I know this guy!.... Should his eyes be pointing in different directions like that?

Flux, using Mr Lowell’s credentials, gets to work on the dodgy router. And discovers that whoever is using it as an electronic dead drop has links to Genesys, the company that created the Moreaus. Which is a little worrying, since everybody from the company did serious jail time - everybody that got caught, anyway. And Nick the fox was certainly sending data to this router. Still, Flux’s manipulations of the noosphere does uncover an entire network of secret routers, but he’s going to have to go through the Genesys evidence to get a better idea of what all this means. And there’s the problem of what the Edge City Police Department can do about a trio of superpowered Moreaus. Just throwing them back into the Zoo doesn’t seem like a good solution, when superpowers are involved.

GM: Wait, these are Enhanced Abilities Moreaus! PRIMUS’ problem! So the ECPD can just hand them off to PRIMUS. Which is bad news for Geert’s band, since his drumming was the only good thing in it.

And when Scooter tries to call Simon, the Zoo’s legal advisor, it goes straight to voicemail. So does his call to Judy, the Zoo’s liaison officer with the ECPD. Ditto his call to Colin the Collie.

Hero Shrew: Ah, guys, I’m starting to freak out a bit here - everybody I’m trying to call in the Zoo isn’t answering.
Flux: Gimme a minute *dials random zoo numbers*
GM: They all go to voicemail.
Flux: F***.
Hardlight: What’s happening on the Freeweb?
GM: People have noticed - nobody can get a signal in or out of the Zoo. There’s a couple of feeds from Chinatown, which say that the Moreaus are excited about SOMETHING, but nothing’s on fire.

Flux, Fireflash, and Hardlight hurry off to the Zoo, leaving a very antsy Scooter to guard the captives.

Flux: Well he’s the only one that can punch them back out if they wake up.

When they get to the Zoo, the telecom blackout has spread to neighbouring suburbs. Someone has locked down the Freeweb infrastructure completely - the kind of hack that only the Sanity Liberation Front could manage. And then a miniature blimp descends into the Agora and projects a video onto a blank wall, in front of hundreds of the residents. It’s Nick - he’s clearly been badly beaten.

Electronically Disguised Voice: Tell them.
Nick: …. My name is Nick…. For the last fifteen years I’ve been passing on information about my fellow Moreaus to one of our creators. Information, observations, rumours. .. I have been an agent of Doctor Steinbeck.

To say that the Moreaus react badly is a gigantic understatement. ‘Howling Riot’ would be more accurate.

GM: Thirty thousand Moreaus and most of them are on the streets right now because they don’t have their internet!

So it’s lucky for Nick that Hardlight, Fireflash and Flux spot the unconscious Nick hanging from a parachute, descending into the square, and rescue him before he can land. They rush him off to Edge City's medical district. Fireflash collects the blimp drone so Flux can interrogate its software. Hardlight calls Hero Shrew, to arrange a rendezvous.

Hardlight: Scooter, you finished yet?
Hero Shrew: No.
GM: The only reason Scooter is still there is because the ECPD are refusing to take custody of Convel, Geert, and Magne. They’ve called PRIMUS, and they’ll keep the looky-loos away, but otherwise they’re treating it as Not Our Problem.

Flux calls Madam Lil on her mobile phone. The call goes through.

Flux: Ah, I suppose you’ve already heard about Nick?
Madam Lil: What about Nick?
Flux: Ah. Um. Well, full disclosure. We’ve got a video that says Nick was an agent of Steinbeck. For the last 15 years.
Madam Lil: HE WHAT????? *long string of Spanish invective including many references to fox cojones*

Of course, that means Dr Steinbeck almost certainly knows about the gravid Moreau. Not good. Flux calls his contact at PRIMUS to try and get them to respond faster - we can’t keep the team split up!

Silver Avenger: What do you want?
Flux: Um.
Silver Avenger: You never call me unless you want something.

She’s pretty upset to hear that not only is Steinbeck active, he also has Moreau agents.

Silver Avenger: Alberto Steinbeck could reliably create genetically engineered organisms with Enhanced Abilities. Like your friend the shrew. Ordinary Hero Shrews are strong and tough, sure, but his strength goes way beyond anything natural.
Flux: Yeah, I’ve seen him stop a car, I can believe that.
Silver Avenger: He chews on rebar.
Flux: Nobody can prove that.

Flux: Dog Moreaus are rare - or they all left with Steinbeck.
GM: What is one of the dog’s more famous genetic traits?
Hardlight: Loyalty.
Flux: Bad Breath.

And then Nick goes into convulsions - alarming, given what happened last time we caught one of Steinbeck's minions.

Hardlight: This isn’t going to be another Melty Dog moment, is it? Nurse button! Hit the Nurse button!!!!

The crash team get his seizure under control, despite his non-human anatomy.

Human Doctor: Does he have family we can to? People who know them?
Hero Shrew OoC: Everybody who knows him wants to tear him to pieces right now.

Hardlight: Do you want me to an MRI on him?
Human Doctor: Well, yes, I mean we’d have to book him into the machine, he might get bumped down the list - wait, what do you mean, ‘want ME to?’
Hardlight: You might want to stand behind that screen *calls up his millimeter wave scanning powers*

GM: The doctors are debating - ‘Is this legal?’ ‘He’s not human, he’s a Moreau, we can pretty much do what we like to him’
Hero Shrew OoC: Don’t say that within earshot of any conscious Moreaus.

And the Sanity Liberation Front still have the Freeweb in the Zoo shut down (and that movie projector drone was mostly off-the-shelf tech).

Hero Shrew OoC: I wonder why? I wonder if they’re going to start feeding fake news to the mob, so they can direct it somewhere?
GM: So the SLF becomes Fox News?

Hardlight gets Hero Shrew onto the group channel.

Hardlight: Hey Scooter, have PRIMUS showed up yet?
Hero Shrew: Nope. (A couple of unconscious Moreaus aren’t exactly a priority) What’s happening in the Zoo? Is everybody OK? Who do I need to punch?
Hardlight: Welllll - we found your friend.
Hero Shrew: Great! How is he?
Hardlight: Ah… he’s been working for Doctor Steinbeck for years.
Hero Shrew: ……….
Hardlight: Hello? *tap tap* Is this still working?
Hero Shrew: OK, two things. Where’s Nick, and where’s Steinbeck?
Hardlight: Well, Nick’s here at the hospital, but we don’t know about Steinbeck
Hero Shrew: …….. OK, f*** this guys, I’m coming there.
GM: You haven’t even asked the important question yet!

Flux: I think I’ve figured out why we split the party - we only need one idiot in an area at a time
Fireflash: Scooter, stay there until I can get there. The doctors need your HELP keeping Nick ALIVE.

Scooter thinks Nick is insufficiently caffeinated - he’s never seen the fox without coffee before. But he DOES know who the Moreaus go to for medical care, given their distrust of the profession. Not that he’s ever needed one himself - he’s never been ill a day in his life. Anyway, the person who runs the Zoo Clinic goes by the name of Doctor Soma.

GM: OK, here's a picture of Dr Soma - but keep in mind my choice of picture does NOT reflect the personality of Dr Soma
Hero Shrew's player: *sees picture, swears violently*
GM: NO REFLECTION OF PERSONALITY



Just as well, really - if Dr Soma really was like Lunevka we'd all be in trouble.

Flux: Female?
GM: Definitely.
Flux: Stacked?
Hero Shrew: .. sort of?
GM: Well-built, certainly.
Hardlight: What species is she?
Hero Shrew: I don’t think she has a species.
Flux: Well, what does she look like?
Hero Shrew: Well, you know that thing they make kids go to? The .. ballet thing. With the soldiers.
Hardlight: … Nutcracker Suite?
Hero Shrew: That’s it. Well, she looks like one of them.
Hardlight: A tin soldier?
Hero Shrew: Yeah, but without the hat.
Hardlight: … I keep forgetting it’s not just Moreaus in the zoo.

GM: You’re also aware that Soma has a connection to Guilt-rider.
Hero Shrew: I think they’re cousins.
GM: Stop making shit up!
Hero Shrew: They were roommates in college?
Flux: This is what happens when information is filtered through Scooter.

Hardlight heads to one of the clinic locations, in the hope that Soma is actually in tonight.

Flux: I’m going with him - because I can guess what will happen the moment he opens his mouth.

It doesn’t help - they can’t find her anyway.

Flux: I think I understand why there aren’t many doctors that work on Moreaus - most of them would go mental just trying to get them to eat a healthy diet.
GM: And you can guess how the Moreaus would react if someone told them to go see a vet.

In fact, we have so little luck finding any medical aid for Nick that we get a bit desperate.

Hardlight: By this point I’m desperate enough to project a ‘Has Anybody Seen Guilt-Rider?’ sign on the clouds.
Flux: The Rat-signal.

Scooter goes to talk to his boss at the collar club, but it soon becomes obvious that Scooter is looking for medical aid for the traitor.

Hero Shrew: Send them to the big human hospital, they’re expecting help.
Colin the Collie: They must be in a bad way.
Hero Shrew: Yep.
Colin: … it’s not Nick, is it?
Hero Shrew: Would it matter if it was?
Colin: YES!
Hero Shrew: Hey, we DO need him alive to find Steinbeck. And whoever tried to drop him into the middle of the mob wants him dead.
Colin the Collie: ….. FINE, I’ll ask around. We probably want to drag him back here and put him before a tribunal anyway.
Hero Shrew: Hey, I understand! Fireflash had to talk me down too.

Flux: I think I know why Lil isn’t at the brothel and Dr Soma isn’t at the clinic. Who would need to attend the birth, when your entire community has NO experience with pregnant Moreaus?
GM: FINALLY



Still, finding out which building Madam Lil, Dr Soma, and the mother and child are probably at is easier than expected - the tin-soldier medic probably arrived in the steam-powered clockwork horse and carriage parked out the front of an house in the Zoo, although it DOES have a pretty potent Somebody Else’s Problem field.

Hardlight: Steampunk! My only weakness!

The door is answered by Lil’s head of security, the well-endowed snow leopard.

Hero Shrew: Nice to see you both.
Autumn: Eyes up here, Scooter. How’d you find us?
Hero Shrew: The clockwork pony show was a clue.
Autumn: Oh - you’re looking for the doctor.
Hero Shrew: Yeah, is she here?
Autumn: ……….. Yes.
Hero Shrew: Great, we need to get her help with a Moreau patient who’s probably going to die without it. Whether or not he gets it, honestly.
Autumn: Are we talking about Nick?
Hero Shrew: Got it in one.
Autumn: …. Don’t tell Lil about this. Last I heard she was going to grind up his cojones and use them as fertilizer, then changed her mind because she didn’t want anything growing from it.

Doctor Soma diagnoses Nick’s condition as a critical shortage of the synthetic neurotransmitter PKN-1-Z, which regulates enhanced reflexes - which Scooter guesses is what kept Nick working for Steinbeck. And worse, even if Soma can install a suppressor, Nick is unlikely to survive the week unless he can get another supply, or put him into cryosleep.

Dr Soma: I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell anybody about how PKN-1-Z can be used as a leash. Now if you don’t mind, I have a patient here that needs my actual presence. And next time you need a consultation, try to find someone else.

Hardlight: Steinbeck must have been using the supply of PNK-1-Z to control the superpowered Moreaus - but how does that explain Scooter?
Flux: He made normal Moreaus too
Hero Shrew: I’m Normal! Hooray!

Fireflash goes through her little black book of contacts, but the only one that answers is her old high school counselor - who nonetheless points out that hot sleep tech is strictly regulated (especially after Genesys used so much of it), and that Edge City’s biotech companies might be able to help with the neurotransmitter.

Hardlight: I suggest we get some sleep and work on the problem in the morning.
Hero Shrew: YOU can, I have to find out what a good gift for a baby is.
GM: And you don’t even know what species it is.

Hero Shrew: Basically PNK-1-Z is Ketracel-White.
GM: Yes! Finally! I’m not afraid to steal ideas!
Hero Shrew: So if we can get our own supply of it, we can put the word out, and anybody that’s only working for Steinbeck because they need this stuff can come to us.
GM: And the Biotech companies will be overjoyed to have access to the Moreau market.

Hero Shrew: The patient is unconscious, he can’t tell us where he was getting it from, and if we don’t find some soon he’s going to die.

GM: You’re lucky that of the four Moreaus you were fighting earlier, only Lilith actually needed PNK-1-Z, and she got away. Three Moreaus dying in PRIMUS custody would look bad.

Biotech Rep: If the Moreaus have this deficiency, where have they been getting their supply before now?
Hardlight: … extra-legally?
Biotech Rep: I’m sure I don’t want to know any more - at least until I’ve talked to our legal department.

Still, the biotech guy does do some digging - the neuropeptide in question is related to ones that Genesys and other companies in partnership were working on, long before they started making the Moreaus. PNK-28-N might be a workable stop-gap treatment, and they have some in town.

Flux: For some reason I can’t stop thinking about Dr Soma and her porcelain face, and the woman ‘enhanced’ by the guy that made the base we’re in now - the guy that made the mechanical owl.
Hero Shrew: Galatea.
Flux: Yeah, her.

Pathfinder : The Mummy's Mask : The Scent Of Burning Feathers
Nemat’s Player: Apparently we’ve missed a lot of stuff in this campaign because we actually talk to people. And aren’t psychopaths.
Onka’s Player: It’s like we actually get paid to do our job - archeology.
Zenobia’s Player: Although I don’t think we’ll be returning some of this stuff to the people that made them - under any circumstances.

On the way to the final activation point, we nearly have a major dust-up between a Phoenix, a Roc, and a Sphinx land on top of us. A feather-dust-up, as it were.

Nemat: Onka? Fireball that.

It’s a good idea - it’s not like the Phoenix will be hurt by the fire and it’s clearly outnumbered by the other two monsters. Zenobia has a few helpful spells along that line too - it’s so helpful when divine destruction can make moral judgements on your behalf. Before long the Phoenix is actually intervening on the Sphinx’s behalf before we finish it off.

Nemat to the Sphinx: Are you going to be a problem?
Sphinx: *feeble squawk*

Onka is heading over to the roast Roc.

Onka: I don’t think we have a big enough bag for this.

Actually, after he clambers all over the corpse, and marinades it with Unguent of Timelessness, he actually manages to stuff the entire thing into a Bag of Holding.

Onka: It belongs in a museum.
Zenobia: We’ll have it stuffed.
Nemat: Hire some taxidermists. Emphasis on the plural.

The Sphinx recoils from the Phoenix’s healing touch, hisses ”Our deal is finished - we are EVEN” and flaps off back to its clock.

The Phoenix had come to investigate why the magic around the Slave Trench had suddenly lit up like Las Vegas.

Nemat: Oh, that’s just us - we’re about to crash a pyramid here. At least, I think it’s going to be here. Onka, before we flip the final switch we’d better check that. If you’ve read any of the accounts of the Fall of the Shory you have to think about these kinds of things. Some of those mountain ranges over there didn’t exist before then.

The Roc was upset by the Slave Trenches activating, and the Sphinx was just a dick.

Tef-Naju and the Phoenix can’t help us in the next section - the latter won’t fit, and the former has been barred from ever entering the area. Onka can’t even get his mecha-suit in. We’re on our own from here. And some of the traps are very cunning indeed.

Champions : Return To Edge City : Scooter vs. The Human Pretzel
A warning in advance - events in this episode have been planned months in advance, and it's total coincidence that they happened the same week that the protests kicked off in the States. The parallels certainly upset some of the players, but were not intentional.

The Magus has used a spell to locate the salvaged Black Smoke Projector, and tracked it to Bayside Industrial, an area of Edge City that boomed before the whole ‘fusion reactor went BOOM’ situation on S-Day, and now has lots of derelict chemical storage facilities and abandoned warehouses.

Hero Shrew: Well, just as long as it isn’t Axis Chemicals.

Hero Shrew is quite pleased, since he’ll probably get to punch somebody, something he hasn’t had a chance to do in months. Better yet, they’re Humanity First, planning a terror attack with chemical weapons, so he can hit them as hard as he likes and still have the moral high ground. Grabbing them by the heads and introducing them to the concept of autocolonoscopy might be going a bit far, though.

GM: Just don’t punch them into the chemical weapon.
Flux’s Player: They might have 30 character points to spend and come back as a supervillain.

On the other hand, at least Scooter is forward-thinking enough today to ask how long fire sprinklers actually run for, once they’re set off. And most of them are mechanically triggered, so Flux can’t set them off with his hacking magic. Worse, since it’s a chemical warehouse it’s entirely possible the fire suppression isn’t even water based, which will be no help at all if the Black Smoke Generator goes off.

Watching the building lets us see that they have guards patrolling, and that their patrol patterns are annoyingly competent. Not that it matters much, since some of us can fly while invisible, and Scooter can tunnel through solid concrete. Complicated plans are made to synchronise and navigate the prongs of the attack.

Magus: Alternatively, I can teleport us all in.
All: *turn to look at him*
Hardlight: You can do that???
Magus: I was waiting for that >:)

On the other hand, the tracking spell is telling us that the Black Smoke Generator is somehow filling the entire chemical production facility. Which is EXTREMELY worrying, since it implies they’re making the stuff. We should probably tell the police to turn up with full breathing apparatus, or better yet stay well back and send in firefighters with same, and all hoses going. Since the building was used for making industrial spray-painting equipment and paint, we’d better make sure to avoid anybody carrying some kind of backpack or pushcart compressor.

Unfortunately Hardlight IS injured by the Magus’ teleport, since he’s susceptible to unnatural darkness, and he lost his connection to the crystal that gives him his powers. Nonetheless, the mook we appear next to is about to have a Very Bad Day.

Hero Shrew: Let’s hope that employment by Humanity First offers good Dental.

It looks like Humanity First have at least one supermerc on the books, and a number of early-model powersuits with in-built threat analysis. That might be a problem, if punching them through walls as soon as we see them doesn’t work.

Breaker: Oh ****! *goes for his guns*
Flux: Right, targeting him - Always go for the talkie ones first.

The Magus drops his target into an illusionary Hero Trip, where us superhuman freaks just can’t hit him. That should keep him busy, even though the powersuited guy had some kind of unexpected mental defence. Quite a surprise in somebody that should just be an armoured mook. Evidently Humanity First went to the trouble of giving these guys special training, but they have been planning to fight metahumans for decades. Which probably explains how a basic unarmoured mook manages to put Scooter on the ground, even though the Moreau was rushing forward at full speed with the intent of knocking his head off.

The powersuits also have flight capability.

GM: And probably flamethrowers.
Magus OoC: Next to the swastika ninja-stars.

GM: Mook 3 is going to have bragging rights in prison, since it took two of the supers to take him down. Unfortunately it wasn’t Fireflash and Nocturne.

Or more likely won’t survive to boast, because Hero Shrew has no particular inclination to hold back, and his forcefield fails to activate both times.

Hero Shrew OoC: It’s ironic that this guy is against Moreaus, since I’m about to turn him from plantigrade to digitigrade. By putting some extra bends in his legs.

Hardlight is certainly upset, since he has a total Code vs. Killing, and turning a human into a pretzel is rarely conducive to their health.

Hardlight: Scooter, NO!!!!
Flux: Welp, they’ve just murdered somebody over there - I’m going to pretend I didn’t see that.

That does take Hardlight out of the fight, though, since Gareth spends the rest of it trying to stop Mook 3 from bleeding out from his numerous open fractures. It’s probably fortunate that Fireflash can’t see what happened over there either, although she does hear Hardlight yelling for medical assistance from the Magus.

GM: The forcefield belts that the Mooks are using are the same model VIPER used to use. They stopped using them for a couple of reasons. One of them was the position of the powercell. ‘You weren’t planning on having kids, right?’. They weren’t quite that bad but the rumour was bad enough. The other reason was that the charge on the batteries meant that if someone like Scooter did something like what Scooter just did, the paramedic that showed up to stop them bleeding out couldn’t help them because the forcefield was still running. So in that respect it’s sort of okay that the forcefield didn’t actually turn on?
Magus: On the other hand, if they DID produce exotic radiation, they’ve increased their chances of having superpowered kids.

The mooks at the gate and on patrol leg it as soon as they realise the heavies and mooks in the warehouse aren’t reporting in. Hardlight bubbles Scooter before he can find any more racists to mangle. Scooter IS looking rather more intently serious than they’ve seen him before. He and Fireflash get into a screaming match - these a**holes WERE intending to murder everybody he grew up with, after all.

Hardlight: Scooter, when you signed up with this team you agreed to help the people of Edge City. ALL the people. Yes, these people are awful, but that means we take them into custody and put them through a court of law. What you just did was lethal force against an unarmed opponent. That is NOT ACCEPTABLE.

Fireflash flies off, sobbing, but Scooter does not seem remotely chastised. At least securing the Black Smoke, which had been decanted into individual sprayers to reduce the chance that Humanity First would accidentally kill any humans, is straightforward enough. It’s certainly enough to get everybody charged with multiple terrorism offenses.

Fireflash: Well, I hope they enjoy their time in Guantanamo Bay.

But there are going to be consequences from the fight. He’s lost Fireflash’s trust for one thing. And then there’s the fallout from when The Rep finds out what Scooter did.

The Rep: Scooter, it doesn’t matter if you are right or wrong, it’s the optics, baby. You’re the face of Moreaus. If you kill a human. Moreaus. Kill. Humans.
The Magus OoC: The worst part of it is that you’re being told off by a sleaze.
Scooter OoC: Yeah, that might actually make me feel bad.