death tribble

The Duck Bomb!

Pluto from above Cthulhu Regio
 
Makes me wonder if there'll be a Hastur Chasma, Hastur Montes, Hastur Rupes, Hastur ... EEEUURRRRGGGGHHHHHhhhhhhh

NASA Concept Plane:
https://i.imgur.com/4NrJ3t2.jpg

Flash Mob:
 
 

 
 
There. Happy now?
 
(I was hoping for a group of at least five in this pic -- FM and 4 duplicates -- but the laptop started to
slow down after Duplicate No.#2, so I had to settle for the original and two dupes.)
 
 
Major Tom 2009

Spoiler tags because animated. 
 
 

I have been back in Plymouth nearly three weeks now. I'm due partial rebates on my council tax and water rates.
I have all the clothes now back at home and the majority have been laundered.
The gaming stuff is partly back;
a lot of the Champions folders but few superhero books;
almost all the Cthulhu books;
a lot of D+D stuff;
and some miscellaneous stuff.
The alcohol is almost all back, the food is all back and a great deal of my CDs and DVDs are back.
 
We don't go to the storage place on Tuesday as that is when mother goes shopping and in between going to two specific shops, there is lunch. At Devil's Point eating Bacon and egg (and maybe mushrooms), drinking coffee with maybe an ice cream for afters. Watching the ships come and go. Two weeks ago a destroyer and today HMS Ocean as it navigates the deep water channel. Simple and wonderful provided you time it right.

David Wesely, Dave Arneson & pals a year before they accidentally invented roleplaying games:
 

 
link

Exactly the opposite of that temperance poster I see every now and then.
 

 
If I owned a saloon back then, that would be hanging on the wall with a sign underneath it, "They promised!"

Fixed.

Nathan Wirth is a B&W Landscape photographer.  He's taken to sticking pop culture figures in lonely landscapes. 
 

 

 

From my youngest girl at the beginning of the last session.
Daughter/Alley Cat - "We aren't going there.  I'm supposed to keep Jack safe.  So we aren't going there."
Me/GM - "So what are you planning to do?"
Daughter/Alley Cat - "Chicken burritos.  They're safe."
 

The GM, in an effort to ramp out just what a hypocritical POS the target of this week's run was, and inadvertently aided by some very unflattering character art, managed to make this session rather transphobic. We took him to task over this and he promised not to do it again.

Ripper K: So, do we know if Oracle is alive or not?
Shell: Hang on, I'll check *bringbring*
Oraclet: Yeah, what?
Shell: He's alive.
Ripper K: He told us to not disturb him.
Oraclet: It's OK, I'm not bunker coding anymore, just coding.

GM: News of the Day! Prop 23 got vetoed as unconstitutional.
Ocelot: How did that happen?
Ripper K: Racist arseholes.
Poe: Insert Arbitrary Bitching

Kenneth Brackhaven, Governor of Seattle, vetoed the recent Proposition 23, which had given Seattle's goblinoid population a political voice. Given Brackhaven is the only known case of 'remission" from goblinization, and was raised as a complete arsehole anyway, this surprises nobody. Nor does the fact that the Goblinoid's protest rally is happening the same day that the Humanis Policlub are having their own counterrally. Or that the planned routes meet at Town Hall.

Kenneth Brackhaven ran for UCAS President under the Archconservative Party, and narrowly lost out to Dunklezhan.

Ocelot: He couldn't stand up to the Big D.
Ripper K: *splutters*
Poe: He actually said that without smiling.

Naturally, we have an incentive to see this veto gets overturned - have the party are goblinoid.

Shell: And what are you, Ripper?
Oraclet: Living novelty dildo.

This is one of the occasions we can approach the client first - we call our friend in the Ork Underground. He does indeed have a job for us. Off to the Howling Griffin, a goblinoid rock club.

Astronauta Peligroso: What's goblin rock?
Oraclet: Glam rock for orkls.
Astronauta Peligroso: I see. So now someone needs to explain glam rock to me and I'll be fine.
Ocelot: Jem and the Holograms as played by fantasy stereotypes.

Bouncer: I know the drill, you were never here.
Ripper K: I don't even know where we are. *turns to Poe. Spittakes* Who are you?
Shell: I was just looking for the bar.
Ocelot: I bet at least once a month a random group of people get mistaken for shadowrunners. That's how new teams start.
 
Our contact wants to ensure that the goblinoids win the brewing war of public opinion. Congressman James Grey is a staunch ally of the governor. We have to make him appear in the upcoming Humanis rally, on live Tri-D, to publicly associate him with racist extremists, and then humiliate him to destroy his political career and associations.

Shell: Voted Most Punchable Face of 2069

Snatching him while he's visiting his mistress seems best. The Congressman's wife will be delighted if we can prove he's an adulterer, too.

All: We get paid twice! *do the happy dance*

Ocelot: 50 nuyen says the mistress is metahuman.
Oraclet: No bet
Client: Typical for 'family values' types, right?

Oracle's plan is to film the congressman canoodling with his mistress, then kidnap the mistress, and send the congressman a message threatening to 'expose you, you hypocritical piece of shit' if he doesn't attend the Humanis rally. Meanwhile we put the mistress up somewhere nice, and hand her over to the better journalists afterwards. The chatshow circuit will dine out on this for weeks. And we get to frame some racists with kidnapping. Ripper suggests one from the FBI Most Wanted list - a kidnapper with known Humanis associations. A Physical Mask spell, and we can insure he 'accidentally' wanders past some security cameras at the apartment block. First, we need to find the apartment where they'll be meeting - fortunately, our infiltration drone Shitkicker has been getting some up-grades.

Shitkicker: +++SQUEE!+++I HAVE GECKO TIPS!+++AND JUMP JETS!+++

His driver certainly noticed us following him, but since we were only doing so long enough to be sure Shitkicker was attached to his undercarriage, he decided it must have been nothing. The congressman's mistress is indeed metahuman. The surprise is who's on top.

Poe: He's screwing an elf.
Shell: He's getting screwed BY an elf.

Much of the next few minutes is occupied by the party arguing about gender identity and political correctness. But she's still getting kidnapped.

Astronauta Peligroso: So we have a body.
GM: Excuse me? She IS still alive.
Astronauta Peligroso: I can fix that.

Shell: Excuse me for asking, but what do you identify as?
Luisa: *through the gag* MMMHHGNNMGHN!
Shell: You heard them - they're MMMHHGNGHNN! *tranq patches them, and starts singing a lullaby* Go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep little MMMMHHGNNGHMM!

Shell: Hey Congressman, we have your MMHHGNNNMM.

Oraclet: He can always claim he was co-erced into appearing at the rally - and he'll be telling the truth. It's a shyster's wet dream.
GM: Right up until you show the footage anyway.
Oraclet: Yup.

We also give the journalist Holly Brighton the heads up that she'll want some cameras at the rally. And that we have a 'special guest' for her show. And show her some of the footage. She's willing to pay extra for the exclusive with the Mistress, and best quality copies of the film.

Oraclet: We don't have the congressman.
Ripper K: But we know where he'll be.

Oraclet: Do this right and we can get paid three times.

Shell: Just tell me we can go beat up some Humanis after all this.
Poe: Sure - it IS Saturday.

The Congressman is trying to be inconspicuous at the Humanis rally - wearing a hoodie, etc. No doubt he has lots of incognito security hovering about too, for all the good it will do him.

Oraclet: That's fine - I have a spotlight on one of the drones.

Ripper K: I'll just be sitting on the edge of the roof, eating popcorn-flavoured NERPS.

We wait with glee and anticipation, as the Humanis march off towards Town Hall. Then we turn on the spotlight. Humanis reacts predictably, roaring their approval of the congressman's presence. Then we set off the Augmented Reality displays, and a six-story tall full-colour movie of the congressman appears on the building over-looking the road. Suitably pixellated so it can appear on all the news channels.

Humanis protesters: KILL THE ELF-F*CKER!!!! ELF-F*CKER! ELF-F*CKER! ELF-F*CKER! ELF-F*CKER! ELF-F*CKER!
Poe: That's a chant you can get behind.

The resulting riot is glorious. And the Ork protesters are entirely uninvolved. We drop Luisa off to Holly.

Oraclet: By the way, your boyfriend was an ass.
Luisa: *shrug* It was mostly for the money.
Oraclet: He's also probably dead. He was surrounded by hundreds of Humanis Policlub members when we played the footage.
Ripper K: I'm sure he had bodyguards.
Oraclet: Speaking as a security expert, he was still dogmeat.

True, we had to use Oracle's other drones to stop any of the Orks joining in the violence, but we sell the designs to Knight Errant afterwards (via Boots) to obscure our presence. They can always pretend it was a prototype.

Knight Errant Rep: Wait - you've made the prefect extraction drone... out of our parent company's back stock??
Shell: Now if you'll excuse me, my city needs me *holds up hands*
Vulture Drone: KCAW! *extraction drone swoops down and snatches him up into the sky*

We also just finished a four-hour session in an hour. The GM hurriedly preps a bodyguard job in New York for us, to protect an artist-mage. Apparently he and his cronies want to summon a major free spirit. As an art project.

Poe: OK, it's a spirit of Art, but..
GM: They want to summon it at the Guggenheim.
Poe: *headdesk*
GM: The Spirit is called Mister Dada
Shell: Why do I feel this job is going to get weird?
Ocelot: My arsehole is puckering so hard right now.
GM: The reason they want Shadowrunners instead of corporate security is because they want to fake the ritual going wrong, for dramatic purposes.
Ocelot: You remember that puckering I mentioned earlier?
Oraclet: I want to know exactly how this ritual is going to 'go wrong'. I want safewords. If I hear 'banana' it's weapons free.

And all this in Manhattan, a hyper-surveillance hub for the elite.

Ocelot: What we could POSSIBLY be adding as security??
Shell: We're not security, we're ambiance.

Ripper and Oracle drop by Mortimer of London's Seattle outlet to pick up a really nice suit for the job.

Poe: Damn - If I knew Shapechange I could have gone as a woman.

Oracle: Trousers, 800 nuyen. Shirt, 550 nuyen. Suit jacket, 1500 nuyen. Looking stunning - priceless.

Ripper struts up the red carpet into the event. And gets 12 successes on 14 dice. Oracle does nearly as well - and he's wearing a mask! So does Astronauta.



GM: You're going to get movie offers! Legitimate movie offers!
Shell: And nobody notices Shell *sadface*

In fact, Ocelot is the only one who actually looks and acts like security. But then, that's what the clients want. They're delighted at the media frenzy. Half an hour later the party gets gatecrashed by giant walking statues of various 20th century celebrities. This might cause alarm - but we know it's part of the show, so simply do our best to ensure nobody gets trampled. Our clients animated them from the Pre-Crash Pop Collection, and they proceeed to dance in the middle of the rotunda.

Shell: Dance off!
Oraclet: It's just a jump to the left.

Of course, the other part of the contract was that we destroy these things. Which we do. While dancing. Shell slices one in half, Oracle shoots up another, Astronauta uses wrestling moves, and Ripper executes an enthralling pas de deux, intending to lift a statue gracefully over his head.. and piledrive it into the floor. It doesn't quite work out that way - instead, one of the statues is so Enthralled it leaps from an upper level of the rotunda towards Ripper's arms, and only avoids squashing some attendants because Poe caught it with a Levitate spell. At this point the mages drop their spells, and attempt to 'make their escape'. But when they reach the doors they're still glued shut. And he rumbling build-up that signalled the dancing statues is back.

Mage: Banana! Banana!

And on this cliffhanger, as the Guggenheim's entire collection comes to life, is where we leave it for the evening...

Black Crusade : The Ninth Arcana, Reversed
 
Daniels' player: Have you considered letting Tzeench into your life?

Weldun: *watching the Jaws of Hakkon intro* Sigh - looks like I'll be committing genocide. Again.

Digna: I want to get this tower done and dusted. Done, dusted, and launched.

Having successfully convinced the deranged renegade Inquisitor to join forces, the heretics head back out of the underhive, but the renegade's Kroot mercenaries opt to remain behind.

Eniek: I hope they do come with us - I can't wait to get him on the table.
Digna: Why their Shaper, in particular?
Eniek: He pissed me off.
Digna: Oh, right. So, 'You're going on The List'

Digna muses on various applications of warpcraft and dark science she can embark upon. A creature that can manipulate the target's emotions, for example.

GM: There's always the Orgasmotron from Barbarella.
Digna: I don't need a homonculus for that - but thanks for suggesting another engineering project.

Digna: OK, that's it - this campaign is becoming Warhammer 40K : The Musical.

Digna: I hope you didn't tell Mr Bubbles to retrace his steps - I'm pretty there were some places that wouldn't take his weight twice.

Skerrit's player is sent forward as a scout and rolls 100 for Stealth. and 100 again for perception. This is as bad as it is possible to be, so it's fortunate there are no Critical Fails in the Black Crusade system. Fortunately the servoskull accompanying him spots the heavily armed Victorian undertakers waiting for them in a subterranean chapel.

Skerrit: it's a steampunk cosplay group.

But even plasma cannons and demo charges are no match for the characters, as powerful as they now are.

GM: They weren't expecting a tech-priest - you DO have the vocoder voice, yes?
Eniek: It's a vox unit, yes.
Daniels: He forgot turn it off from 'Little Girl'

The ambushers do not seem to been sent by whoever is hunting the PCs - it was a random encounter. Thus back to the luxurious spire apartment Lord-Captain Daniels hired for his stay on Scintilla. It has all the mod cons.

GM: And quite possibly generations of servants standing by the privy with a sponge on a stick.

Eniek: So, how was your day? How went the research?
Digna: It went swimmingly, now I was without distractions.

She's also become a Champion of Slaneesh while they were away. As happened with the player's previous character, this was because they didn't keep track of how many blessings they were getting from which Ruinous Power.

Skerrit: ... did you get even prettier?

Skerrit: I don't even swing that way!

Digna: I've figured out when I got the Mark of Slaneesh. It was the Addictrix advance.
GM: You pour a pretty poison.
Digna: Not pour, no.
GM: Inject?
Digna: No.
Daniels: Oh no...
GM: ?
Digna: The Milk of Human Kindness.
GM: Oh god... and all those orphan children.
Digna: Yup


Digna: First I defeat them in social combat.
Daniels: And then you pop out a tit.
GM: *headdesk and gibbers*
Digna: Hey, you wanted to run Black Crusade.

Skerrit has a new ability too - Mind Bullets.

Skerrit: And poor little city creatures are exploding around me as I think at them.

Digna's research into 'the choice Daniel's ancestor did not take' has narrowed down the whereabouts of the Silica Anima to one half of a troublesomely turbulent star cluster. Once she has the A.I., she'll build it a body.

Digna: She's a gynoid designed to go in among the poor and impoverished to incite riots. So of course she's called Maria.

The rest of the party want to infiltrate the Inquisition's Tricorn Tower as soon as possible.

Digna: Really? I have work to get on with!

Like that Little Sister to go with Mr. Bubbles.

Daniels: 'I made a new friend' ' He was OK as he was!

Digna: Fine, I'll come. If only to stop you trying to convince me.
GM: Well, there's one reason for you to stay here - if the entire Tricorn Tower goes up in a mushroom cloud you're well out of it.

Skerrit: How are we supposed to hide my horns?
GM: We put a microwave oven on your head and paint it chrome.

Daniels: How cheap did you get those Adsecularii for?
Digna: *twitch* Parsing Error. Redo from Start. You don't get any cheaper then Adsecularii - I had to buy them as a horde.

They swear to carry out the theft, and do as much damage to the Inquisition as possible while they're at it, and still get out again afterwards.

GM: So don't get caught - you have to get out of the tower somehow, even if it's in an expanding cloud of debris.

Purchases - grav-chutes, in case they need to escape through a window and jump to safety.

GM: How many Adsecularii are you taking in with you?
Daniels: Who said they're getting grav-chutes?

They also want to acquire a Meltabomb, disguised as innocuous monitoring equipment, and somehow affix it to the underside of the Tricorn Tower's plasma reactor.

Daniels: It needs to be gilded.
Eniek: It's a throwaway, one-use device.
Daniels: IT NEEDS TO BE GILDED.

GM: Your Adsecularii are carrying equipment worth dozens of times more than they are.
Digna: Actually, mine are quite valuable. I augmented them to Machine Trait 2. They LOVE me - devoted and fanatical.
Skerrit: You're the freaking Borg Queen!
Digna: Oh, you just noticed?
Daniels: Milk of Human Kindness my arse.

Digna: I should fit Mr. Bubbles with a Stummer - so it sounds like normal footsteps. 'Who's behind me, walking so slowly?' *turns around. Looks up. And Up.*

The renegade probably won't be much use after he's given them directions to the tower's archives, teleportarium, and secret underground entrance.

Digna: And if nothing else we can have Mr Bubbles throw him at the enemy.

The Crypt Boys gang that Digna recruited will help guide them through the underhive to the tower, despite the dangers of gas build-up, and collapses, and dangerous underhive monsters.

GM: They're willing to follow you, even without respirators and filter plugs.
Digna: Don't worry, Mr. Bubbles is immune to fire.
GM: They're not.
Digna: I repeat, Mr. Bubbles is immune to fire.

Daniels: If in doubt, bodies can be used as ladders.
GM: And field rations.

The servoskull that Digna sends ahead gets eaten by a giant chameleonic bobbitt worm.



Skerrit unwisely takes the GMs advice and overclocks his psi-powers, killing the worm, but causing dangerous side effects - in this case, distorting every reflective surface for some distance. Ruined : every las-weapon, auto-sense, and gilded surface in the party. Overjoyed : the GM

Digna: I remind you the Compact only requires us to leave the tower. It says nothing about what state you are in.
GM: You could always rip his arms and legs off, and carry him.

Little Sister sings to herself as she dissects the giant Bobbit Worm. She was designed to harvest interesting genetic materiel, after all.

Eniek: How would you like chameleonic skin?
Skerrit: You can do that?
Eniek: I can now. Well, not right now, but later.

The renegade muses on how unlikely his escape from the tower actually was.

Eniek: Maybe you had the Emperor's Luck on your side.
Renegade Inquisitor: Yes! That's it! I'm doing righteous work!
Daniels: Religious nuts are so fun.

The Crypt Boys are sent home - there's not much else they can do for the party, and they've been wounded by larval bobbitt worms anyway. There is some argument whether it was the bobbit worm or the autogun rounds that took his foot off.

The secret entrance to the tower is booby-trapped, of course, discharging millions of volts through the first person to touch it. Since this is Eniek, and he can store that charge in his Luminen Capacitor, the trap proves worse than useless.

Eniek: oooooooOOOoooOoooOOH thankyou

Digna gets to work bypassing the locks on the secret entrance.

Digna: If all else fails we use a lascu... oh wait *glares at Skerrit* If all else fails we use Skerrit as a battering ram.
Skerrit: Actually that works - I do have these horns.

The chamber beyond is a deathtrap - or at least it was meant to be. I made the mistake of letting the Slaneesh-aligned character open her mouth, and within minutes she had them convinced she and her team were there to check the plasma reactor. Despite the fact they'd just watched her disabling the blast doors behind the party. The gun-team calls a tech-priest for her to talk to.

Digna: +++Brother+++
Tech-Priest: +++Brother. In the purely non-gendered sense+++

After spinning a story about dangerous hereteks that seek to destroy themselves to become one with the Omnissiah, they give the tech-priest the disguised melta-bomb and tell him it's a gravimetric sensor array, to check the plasma reactor for distortions of the critical elements.

Eniek: +++It's similar to the way glass in cathedral windows is thicker at the bottom, because it flowed downwards over the centuries+++
Tech-priest: +++That is a myth. You have been misinformed, brother.+++

After scanning Digna's particuars, he goes to do the same for the rest of the party, until Digna points out none of them will be entering the reactor chamber themselves, so he doesn't have to. Just as well - their mutations would have been obvious.

Digna: He IS recording my measurements for later perusal.
GM: He'll be in his bunk.

Digna: +++Here, brother. It must be placed at the very base of the plasma reactor.+++
Tech-priest: +++What tech-litanies must be recited?+++
Digna: *gives him archeotech lore he's never even heard of*

That sorted, the rest of the party have but a few hours to locate the Libris ex Mortis, hijack the Inquisitorial teleportarium, and get out. Assuming everything is going to plan...

A side conversation I had with one of my group during a recent conversation.   FAIR WARNING - Those of you with extreme positions on ecological matters may just want to skip this post altogether.
 
Friend:  You shouldn't just throw that (plastic) shopping bag in the trash, you know.
 
Me:  Oh?  And what should I do with it?  (We were at another friend's house at the time.)
 
Friend:  You should hang onto it and use it for a trash bag later.
 
Me:  Use it for a trash bag?
 
Friend:  Yeah, re-purpose it!
 
Me:  Okay, so say I use it for a trash bag.  Answer me this - where does it wind up?  IN. THE. TRASH.  That's not "re-purposing" - that's a delaying tactic!
 
LF

That A-Team adventure was actually two Sundays ago.  I was planning to have two weeks to prepare for my next game (our gaming group alternates between my Champions game and a D&D game), but on Friday evening the other GM texted, asking if I could run that Sunday instead.  Eep!
 
I decided to have a few non-combat events -- an NPC applying to join the hero team, a public appearance at a high school, and a trial of a supervillain captured a while back -- followed by a gratuitous combat.  Not wanting to map out a new location, I looked through my old paper maps and found one of a PRIMUS base.  Perfect.
 
Bit of background:  in my game, captured villains are typically taken to the PRIMUS base and put into holding cells until they can be transported to Stronghold.  In addition to capturing most of the A-Team, the heroes had previously captured a handful of the New Gods, a set of androids passing themselves off as various Greek gods and mythical heroes (Apollo, Artemis, Hermes, and Heracles).  The New Gods all have the Physical Complication that they can be turned off, so I figured PRIMUS had them deactivated and stored in their vault.
 
I told the players at the start of the evening that I had thrown that evening's adventure together on short notice and hadn't even had time to draw out a map, but that basically the bulk of the adventure would be a super-brawl.
 
Circe:  (reading from the weekly news)  "PRIMUS Detective Williams... said Just Cause was instrumental in helping PRIMUS stop the attacks and capture the villain team."
Pops:  Wait, he actually complimented us?  I think you may need to check if that's really him.  Or maybe he's been mind controlled.
 
Another news item is on the upcoming trial of Wight (who is Maker's Hunted and attacked Maker's mother a few adventures back), aka Russian cosmonaut Andrei Vyelov.
 
Circe:  (reading that article)  "Irving Probalino, Vyelov's lawyer, insists that his client is innocent.  'He is just as much the victim here, and I intend to prove that in court.'"
Malarky:  Probalino?  Isn't he that pain-in-the-a** lawyer with all the luck?
Pops:  You guys have run into him before?
Malarky:  Yeah, in a prior campaign. 
GM:  He's a high-priced lawyer who seems to win most of his cases, even against incredible odds.  (pause)  His six dice of Luck helps out a lot, though.
 
(Probalino appeared in a Digital Hero #16, courtesy of Dave Mattingly)
 
The team's PR face, T.J. O'Rourke, passes along a request for a public appearance by the team.
 
TJ:  They mainly want Maker because of her gadgets, but they'd like the other female heroes to attend.  It's part of a statewide program to get girls more interested in STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math).  You'll speak at the Noble and Greenough School in Dedham, Massachusetts.
Nexus:  Aw, crap, that's the school my sister attends.
GM:  Gee, I wonder whose DNPC made the roll to appear...
 
The male heroes also plan to attend (expecting a supervillain attack based on my "super-brawl" comment).
 
Circe:  Maker, you can demonstrate various gadgets on Honey Badger.  'Cause Honey Badger don't care.
Honey Badger:  (leers)  What kind of gadgets are you going to use on me?
Maker:  "... and this little beauty can project flames up to fifty feet!"  Woosh!
Honey Badger:  (shrugs)  Eh, I regenerate.
 
Honey Badger:  (to Maker)  Just put on a fancy light show, maybe some holograms, fly your drone around...
Malarky:  Your stolen VIPER flyer bot?  Maybe not a good idea.
Honey Badger:  ...tell the girls that there's better things in life than shopping and fashion.
Circe:  (a rich girl with KS: Fashion)  Hey!!!
 
Contrary to the players' paranoia, the presentation goes without a hitch.  Afterwards, there are photo ops with the heroes doing a meet-and-greet with the students.
 
Teen girl:  (to Circe)  Ooo!  You're my favorite.  You always look great, so collected, and with-it.  Can I get a selfie with you?
Circe:  Sure!  (picture taken)  So, how are you doing?
Girl:  Okay, I guess.  Parents are always pushing me to do stuff.  Speaking of which...  (she pulls a paper out of her purse and hands it to Circe)  You've been served.  (smiles wide)  Thanks for the pic!  You're still my fave!  (flounces off to show her friends the picture)
Circe:  Why didn't the prosecutor just ask me?
GM:  This is from the office of Irving Probalino, Esquire.
Circe:  He wants me to testify?  For the defense?
GM:  Maybe about your visit to Wight at the PRIMUS base.
Circe:  Oh, when I asked him for info about that Carrier Pigeon?
GM:  Just Pigeon, but yeah.  Wight gave you the info that helped you locate Vermin and stop that mutated disease from spreading.
Circe:  Crap.
 
On to the trial.  Maker's mom (Dr. Hu Jenkins) is lined up testify, and wants her daughter to be there as moral support.
 
Maker:  Do I have to? 
Dr. Jenkins:  No, I suppose you don't.  I'll just be there, all alone, by myself.  Don't you worry about me...
Maker:  Since when did my Chinese tiger-mom become a Jewish grandmother?  She should be all, "Yes!  You be there!  I say so!"
 
Again, the heroes expect a fight there and make plans.  However, there won't be one.  Instead, Honey Badger notices that the prosecutor (Doug Carson, who went over HB's testimony the day before and seemed fairly confident and together) seems very out of sorts, stumbling over what he's saying, looking nervous, and making a lot of stupid mistakes.
 
GM:  A few times, while Probalino is cross-examining witnesses, he takes things a bit far, and the judge looks at Carson expecting an objection, but he doesn't.  In one case, even Probalino looks like he's expecting to get smacked down, but Carson doesn't say anything.
Honey Badger:  Maybe he's being mind controlled.  (to Circe)  Can you check his mind?
Circe:  There's psionic scanners in the courtroom, remember?  They'll lock me away.  No thanks.
 
Finally, during the lunch recess outside the courtroom, Circe uses some Telepathy and learns that Carson's wife told him that he'd better allow the defense to win the case or she'll kill their 2 year-old son.  And if he goes to PRIMUS or the heroes, she'll just wait until things cool down, and maybe their son will run into traffic one day.
 
Circe:  (to GM)  Is she being possessed, or Mind Controlled?
GM:  Strangely, Carson doesn't know.  Not being a mentalist and all.  You're reading his mind, not hers.
 
(more to follow)

Plan Comes Together, Part 3
 
The heroes seem incredulous that the villains are calling themselves the A-Team.
 
GM:  Really?  You knew Ankylosaur, Agrippa, and Armadillo were involved.  You researched known associates and found Airstrike, Augur, and Abyss. Plus some actor named Adam radiation powers that Ankylosaur saved from mutant hunters last week.  (lays out the Google Map printouts that had been handed to the players before each encounter)  Every single location they hit was right where streets formed a nice big "A."  Granted, the one at the fire museum was kinda a stylized "A," but still!  The address for the soup kitchen is 87 A Street.  And you didn't see this coming?
 
The heroes act quickly.  They've already pre-evacuated the area, replacing many locals and homeless people with undercover cops.  Nexus uses a gate spell to get the mayor to a safe vehicle quite a ways away, while her teammates search the skies, rooftops, and streets for the villains.  Finally, they spot four Vietnam-era choppers approaching from the north, about 100m up.  (Note that the week's news included an item where somebody stole a pair of Hueys getting prepped for an air show, flew them around for a few hours, and then left them in a field for the state police to find.)
 
Pops:  I could teleport one of you into one of the helicopters to take the controls, and teleport the pilot out.  Maker?
Maker:  I don't know how to fly a helicopter.  Just small space planes.
Pops:  How about one of the PRIMUS agents? 
GM:  Sure.  Master sergeant Ross says he knows how to fly a Huey.  (grins)  So, you're going to teleport Sgt. Ross up there?
Maker:  Wait a minute.  I don't trust that smile.  I'm going to fly up and check them out.
 
She flies closer to discover that all four look exactly the same, down to the rocket pods and the crew manning the miniguns. 
 
Maker:  What, do they have Duplication?
Shadowboxer:  More like holograms. 
GM:  Are you still going to teleport Sgt. Ross up there?
 
Abyss (an alien mentalist scientist studying humans) shows up on a nearby rooftop and hits Pops with a mental illusion.  He sees a truck going out of control, barreling right at him, Malarky, and the squad of PRIMUS agents.
 
Pops:  Sorry, Malarky, you and I are going to have to take our chances.  I'm teleporting the agents to safety.  Somewhere off the street, like... (puts the squad up on the roof about 4m from Abyss) ...right there.
 
One of the heroes sees Augur and Agrippa step out of a building, and then Agrippa casts a shrinking spell and the hero loses sight of him.
 
Nexus:  Wait, I have a spell to do a Mind Scan.  How do I use that to find him?
GM:  You make an attack roll, your OMCV vs. his DMCV, minus modifiers for how many people are in the area.  If you hit, you roll the dice of effect and I compare the results to his EGO.
Nexus rolls, and misses.  CIrce, the team mentalist, finds out Nexus only has a 3 OMCV.
Nexus:  Hey, I said I had the spell.  I didn't say I was good at it.
 
Circe (disguised as a bag lady) begins scanning for Agrippa, but her scan is only 3d6, Cumulative.  Meaning that it's going to take a while.  It also means she has to drop her Mind Link, so the heroes can't instantly communicate with each other.
 
Pops:  So, is Circe planning to help us out any time soon?
 
Nexus is inside the soup kitchen, alone, when Armadillo pops up through the floor.
 
Armadillo:  Hey babe.  Just you and me, eh?  Nothing personal, wouldn't want to hurt that pretty face, but I've got to take you out.  (blasts her, doing a little STUN but nothing major)  I mean, you're only #4 on our hit list, but I'm more than happy to dance with you all on my lonesome.
Nexus:  Number 4?  Who's #1?  The mayor?
Armadillo:  (scoffs)  No, Circe.
Pops:  (OOC)  Sure, because mentalists are evil.
Armadillo:  And then Pops, he's #2.
Pops:  Wait... what?!
GM:  Hush.  You're not there, and without the mind link, you're not privy to any of this.
Nexus and Armadillo trade energy blasts, and Nexus is afraid he's going to take her down.
 
Nexus:  He's in powered armor, right?  Is there any way I can push some buttons, shut him down?
GM:  (looks at Armadillo's Psych Comp:  Sucker for a Pretty Face and thinks about Nexus' 3 levels of Striking Appearance)  Not the buttons you're thinking of, but yeah, you could push his buttons.
 
The villains do some damage to the heroes (taking two of them just a few points shy of unconsciousness), and Agrippa casts Silence on Malarky (effectively nullifying him, since all Malarky's spells require Incantations) and then Dispels his Mass Stone Skin spell.  Meanwhile, the heroes take down Abyss, Ankylosaur, and Augur.
 
Pops:  Circe, have you found Agrippa yet?  'Cause we're about to get our butts kicked.
GM:  What...?!  How?  Half the villains are KO'd, and all of you are still standing!
 
Eventually, Nexus gets outside the soup kitchen and flags down Silver Avenger Melanie Flannagan to tell her Armadillo is inside.  Flannagan discovers Armadillo has gone tunneling again and follows him.  When she catches up to him, instead of attacking she plays him like a harp.  (I couldn't possibly beat you in that big, tough armor, etc.)
 
SA Flannagan:  (Keys her radio microphone, on the assault team's frequency)  Instead of fighting, Armadillo, why don't we go someplace else?  There's a bar just up the street, Williams Tavern.  Why don't you and I go up there, to Williams Tavern.  My assault agents won't even know we're there. We can have a few drinks, get to know each other, just you and I...
Nexus:  (monitoring the frequency)  Really?!
GM:  I said you could push his buttons.  Not my fault you didn't pay attention during the briefing, and she did.
 
Of course, the heroes prevailed, as they are wont to do.  Five A-Team members carted off to the PRIMUS base's holding cells.

Plan Comes Together, Part 2
 
The heroes smell a rat with the reporter, Petersen, always on the scene and hounding them, so Malarky "borrows" Petersen's cell phone (with a teleport assist from Pops). Flipping through Petersen's texts, he discovers that someone has been texting the attack locations and times ahead of time.  With Maker's help, he clones the sim card from Petersen's cell phone.
 
The heroes (along with the Boston PD and PRIMUS) camp out at the firehouse for Engine Company 39, waiting for 3 am to roll around.  Come 1 am, Malarky's clone of Petersen's cell phone gets a text, telling him to be at an intersection about a mile away from Engine 39's firehouse.  The hero team splits up -- one group goes to Petersen's place to mess with his car, while the other group goes to that location, where they discover it is across the street from the Boston Fire Museum, housed in the former firehouse for Engine 39.  They also notice a car parked across the street, with PRIMUS detective Williams inside.  CIrce runs to a nearby coffee shop, then comes back.
 
Circe:  (knocks on Det. Williams' window)  Anything happening?  (holds out a cup of coffee)
Williams:  Not yet.  (takes coffee)  Thanks.  (nods toward the Fire Museum)  So you capes also think it might go down here?
Circe:  Yeah.  Pretty sure.
 
Shadowboxer uses his ability to look and listen through shadows to check out the inside of the fire museum.  Nobody at all inside, but he (eventually) notices that someone has replaced all the real fire extinguishers with fake ones.  Teleporting in, he gets one for Maker to check out, and they learn that the fakes are actually fuel-air bombs with timers set to go off at 3 am.  He also discovers a tunnel into the basement, dug by Armadillo.  In the tunnel he finds a bulk-food can of cream of mushroom soup, a ladle, a pamphlet for a south Boston church, and the now-familiar sticky note.
 
To Do:
Wednesday 3:00 - Hot time at the Fire Museum.  Hope Just Cause brought marshmallows. Thursday 4:00 - Feed Hizzoner and Just Cause their teeth. Discussing what to do with the fuel-air bombs.
 
Maker:  Can I deactivate them?
GM:  Do you have Demolitions skill?
Maker:  Um... no.  Can I maybe use my Gadgeteering roll?
GM:  (evil grin)  Maaaaybe.  Want to make a roll?  After all, what could possibly go wrong?
 
Pops:  We should put 'em in Petersen's trunk.  Or his house.
 
(Eventually they dump them in the river where they can just cause a bunch of gaseous bubbles.)
 
Honey Badger:  So, we turn over the ladle, pamphlet, and note to Williams.
GM:  What about the can of soup?
Honey Badger:  (belches and wipes his lips)  What can of soup?
 
It doesn't take long for the heroes to figure out that the next attack is going to take place at 4 pm during a soup kitchen opening that the mayor is attending as a photo op.
 
GM:  Are you going to coordinate with PRIMUS?
Honey Badger:  It all depends.  Are they bringing soup?
 
Circe calls the team's liaison with the city.
Honey Badger:  (shouting in the background)  Make sure they're bringing soup!  And none of that generic crap!
 
Some of the heroes go into the sewers and discover that someone (*cough*Armadillo*cough*) has dug a bunch of tunnels all over the place under and around the soup kitchen.  Malarky (whose player works for the local water company) makes plans to deal with that.
 
Malarky:  I'll buy an inflatable raft and get it set up near the downstream end of the sewer.  Tie the raft up so when it's inflated, it'll completely block everything flowing through the sewer.  Figure a half hour should be enough to fill the sewer line and Armadillo's tunnels.
 
The mayor and his entourage arrive for the soup kitchen opening.  As soon as the mayor sees Honey Badger, he holds up a large can of tomato soup.
 
Honey Badger:  (thumbs up)!
 
Four o'clock comes, then 4:05.  Then 4:10.
 
Shadowboxer:  Maybe this was all a plot to keep us busy while they hit somewhere else. 
GM:  Or maybe their plan got delayed because somebody filled the tunnels with sewage.
Malarky:  (giggles like a little kid)
 
Finally at 4:15 pm, hidden speakers all over the area kick on, with the sound of martial music and helicopters.  And then the voiceover:
 
Ankylosaur:  In 2014, various supervillains were sent to prison by a federal court for crimes they probably committed.  These men recently escaped from a maximum security superprison to the New York City underground.  Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune.  If you have a problem with superheroes, if no one else can help, and if you have enough money, maybe you can hire… The A-Team.  (GM cues playing of the A-Team theme music)
 
(more to follow)

A month or so back, I was trying to come up with a new supervillain team for my Boston Champions heroes to face.  Looking through character art, which of course was sorted by name.  Ankylosaur.  Airstrike.  Armadillo.  Hmmm... it occurred to me that I could create an entire team of villains whose names begin with "A."  (Hey, last campaign the PC hero team was known as S-Squad, with all members' names starting with "S.")
 
And thus, The A-Team was born.  Mercenaries to the core, they specialize in taking out or distracting those darn pesky superheroes, as well as PRIMUS, UNTIL, the police, etc. so their client is free to commit crimes.  I decided they'd be a new team, and taking on the PC heroes would be their first public appearance.  (Their coming-out party, as it were.)
 
I designed the adventure to be a series of city-wide property damage attacks by an unknown, unnamed group of villains, to culminate in the attack on the hero group.  The villains left a clue at each attack, hinting at the target for the next attack.  They also passed along the attack location to a reporter (Joshua Petersen) who is not a fan of the heroes, so he could make the PCs look bad if they don't figure out the clue and head off the next attack.
 
First attack was on the A-7 District police headquarters, with Ankylosaur lobbing firebombs at the building before leaping away.  (Side note:  The Google Maps satellite view of the area shows nearby streets forming a very distinctive "A."  This became a feature of all four A-Team attack locations -- and even though I handed out a printed aerial view for each, none of the players caught it.)
 
GM:  John (Honey Badger's player), you're always saying "We go to Paris, France," so when I saw it was on Paris Street, I knew that was the spot.  And it being at 69 Paris Street, well, I knew you'd appreciate that.
 
The heroes go to where Ankylosaur was spotted and find a Revolutionary War-style candle lantern, a cigar stub, and a book of Longfellow's poem, with a sticky-note To-Do list marking the page where Paul Revere's Ride begins:
 
To Do:  
Monday 1:00 - See how hot the Boston Police are. Tuesday 2:00 - Give 'em a history lesson they won't soon forget. Malarky:  (doing some research on his PC)  At 2 am, Paul Revere would have been across the river and to (nearby town).  Maybe they're planning to attack there.
GM:  You guys are giving Ankylosaur waaaay too much credit in the intelligence department.  You're assuming he even read the whole poem.
Nexus:  Does it say 2 am?
GM:  Nope, it just says 2 o'clock.  Neither AM nor PM.  (smiles)
 
They narrow the potential targets to either the Old North Church (where the lanterns were hung for "one if by land, two if by sea") or the Paul Revere House (just a handful of blocks away), and decide to wait at the church.  Two a.m. comes and goes without incident.  They gather again at the church in the afternoon, and right after 2 p.m. hear police reports of "huge stone men" menacing people on the same street as the Paul Revere House.  Actually, it's three men and one woman, all stone elementals summoned by the mage Agrippa.
 
Rocky:  (holding aloft a man)  Where Paul Revere House?
Opal:  (grabbing a man on the street)  Where I find Revere House?
Jaspar:  (grabs a passing limo and begins shaking it, shouting at the driver inside)  Where Jaspar find Revere house?
Stoner:  (hand resting on a man's shoulder like a hundred-pound weight)  Duuuude.  Where's Revere's home?
 
Honey Badger punches Rocky. 
Rocky:  You hit Rocky.  Summoner say now Rocky can hit you!
 
HB takes down Rocky.
Rocky:  (in Stallone voice)  Adriaaaaannn!
 
Malarky (himself a college student) finds himself facing Stoner.
Stoner:  Dude!  Got any munchies?
Malarky:  Munchies? 
Stoner:  Y'know.  Peat gravel.  Quartz chips.  (whispered aside)  I just finished off a dime bag of talc powder, dude!
Malarky:  No, what you want is pizza!
Stoner:  What's pizza?
Malarky:  Food of the gods, man.  Start with a nice flaky crust, something that'll melt in your mouth...
Stoner:  Like limestone?
Malarky:  Sure, if that's what you like.  Then some sauce, nice and hot...
Stoner:  ... lava!  Mmmmmmm!
Malarky:  But the toppings are where it's at!
Stoner:  What are toppings?
(They spent the rest of the fight discussing possible stone pizza toppings, from grated tin and iron spices to granite slices and chopped hematite.)
 
Once the elementals are dealt with, the heroes figure out that they were summoned underground; a roadway tunnel runs just under the street in front of the Paul Revere House.  Teleporting down there, they find an abandoned car blocking traffic; inside is an antique safety lantern, and old fireman's helmet (for Engine 39), with a sticky note:
 
To Do:
Tuesday 2:00 - Won if by land -- literally! Wednesday 3:00 - Don't want firefighters feeling left out, do we? Honey Badger:  (grabbing fireman's helmet and putting it on)  Ooo!  I got a new hat!
 
(More to follow)

The Game: Monster Hunter International
 
The Game Operations Director: My long-suffering friend Mike
 
 

I have been inconsistently referring to my character as a Trollop, thanks to Robert Asprin's "Myth Adventures" series using that word for female Trolls. I looked it up and the words ARE cognate!
 
Titania likes to call herself Fiona after the princess is the movie Shrek, and uses the radio call-sign "Faerie Princess."
 
 

Kylie gave up on trying to stop Titania from calling her "Crocodile."
 
 

Remember the name: Surbrook's Stuff, source of more Hero characters and goodies than you can shake a
 
Stick: (Total: 7 Active Cost, 2 Real Cost) Hand-To-Hand Attack +1d6, Reduced Endurance (0 END; +1/2) (7 Active Points); OAF (-1), Hand-To-Hand Attack (-1/4), Real Weapon (-1/4), STR Minimum 3 (-1/4), Required Hands One-Handed (-0) (Real Cost: 2)
 
at!
 
Titania has taken to calling this character "Copperhead."
 
 

Last session the Game Operations Director finally noticed that under Knowledge Skills I had put "Carnal."
 

Last session the G. O. D. made it clear the name is "DOM" not Don. Copperhead's player and I agreed that we'd start imagining him as Dom DeLouise. Then we had to explain to Crocodile's player who that was. In any case Titania the Trollop always calls him "Big Boomstick." Crococile's player is the one with Clairvoyance, but Titania's nickname for Dom turned out to be precognizant.
 

This (basketball practice with the tank holding the hoop) has since happened. The tank has also actually seen use; we'll get to that.
 
So we end up fighting, and destroying, a giant scorpion that came up out of a tunnel. So we have to go down the tunnel to find out where it came from, if there are more, etc. Copperhead, who is carrying a grenade launcher and has "paintball" grenades (filled with brightly colored powders) opens a couple of them to make red and green arrows(edit: that is, arrow shapes on the ground. He's not turning missiles meant to be launched from a grenade launcher into missiles to be launched from a bow.) to mark tunnels we go down and tunnels we came from.
 
At one point when we hear something coming we all douse lights, switch to night visions goggles, and make Concealment rolls. And it turns out that the night vision goggles themselves give off a green light that makes it impossible to hide in a dark chamber while wearing them. Our choice seems to be either to be blind or to be blindingly obvious. I resolve to buy up Titania's Inventor Skill and work on a solution to this.
 
After a couple of scorpions reduce my Trollop to negatives in STUN and BOD:
Copperhead (OoC): These monsters can one-shot us but we can't one-shot them.
Fiona (OoC): I am starting to think Monster Hunter is designed to just shred player characters.
Remember, Copperhead's carrying a grenade launcher and he's feeling ineffective about the damage he does. Goes to show even the Hero system can be a meat grinder if the monsters outclass the adventurers.
 
Fortunately, Trolls regenerate so I'm in play again shortly.
Fiona (OoC): Troll First Aid is "sit down a minute, you'll feel better soon."
(Repeated several times, it's becoming a catch phrase.)
 
Fiona (OoC): My team mates may hate me for saying this, but if I was stung and took BODy, am I going to be feeling the poiston soon?
 
Game Operations Director: Oh yeah, I forgot. It's a STR Drain. (Rolls 3d6, gets 5) Lose 5 STR.
Fiona (OoC): Lost 5 out of 30? I'll never notice.
I wish he'd rolled that poorly on damage and hit locations against us...
 
One scorpion is smeared with yellow and red substances, probably a clue to where it's been that we haven't figured out yet. Fiona tastes it and determines it's ketchup and mustard. Then cracks open a claw, tries some of the meat with ketchup and mustard - she has an Iron Stomach, Immunity to ingested poisons, pathogens, and noxious substances, on a CON roll. G. O. D. makes me make the CON roll; I fail, but it's not poisonous just noxious, so I declare that giant scorpion does NOT taste like lobster. We still haven't been down all the tunnels so we still don't know how it got condiments on it.
 
Eventually we track the scorpions to their apparent source, where the tunnel came up as a big hole in the floor of a warehouse. First thing we do is get GPS coordinates and call it in, I think that was Crocodile's excellent idea. The place was guarded by two gargoyles. As we're falling back to the hole, hoping they won't pursue beyond the place they are programmed to guard, the Tank comes busting through a wall
Everybody: HEY KOOL AID MAN!
and opens fire with the main gun, shattering a gargoyle. Big Boomstick (Dom Gunn) pops out and grabs the Tank's machine gun and starts damaging the other gargoyle.
G. O. D. :He's using a bigger caliber than anything you've got.
 
Fiona, to Copperhead: See the size of that gun? I know why he's using such a big caliber. He's compensating for something. I've hacked into his account.
Copperhead: He has self-porn?
Fiona: I've read the emails from disappointed women.
 
The second gargoyle actually manages to damage the Tank before it's taken out. Then Fiona runs up to Dom and says
Fiona: Boomstick! You came to help and you brought the self-driving tank!
Another hatch pops and the driver sticks his head out.
Driver: What do you mean, self driving tank?
Fiona points to Big Boomstick: He said it was self-driving!
Driver: I'm driving this tank. (closes hatch)
 
So far this character hasn't been named, but as far as Fiona is concerned, he's Kool Aid Man.
 
Fiona checks out the office, and finds documents and computer (after a Hacking Skill roll) show nothing more recent than four months ago. She picks up the computer tower and carries it to the Rank.
Big Boomstick: You know all we need is the hard drive?
Fiona: Maybe all YOU need is a hard drive.
Copperhead: Yeah, the rec room needs something to play games on.
 
We search the warehouse, finding it mostly full of four month old foodstuffs, so the Trollop is snacking as they go along. Without the uncanny perceptual abilities of "Crocodile" Kylie, we never would have found the false bottom in one of the crates. Secret Security Systems rolls are made for both the redneck and the Trollop to see if there are traps, then Fiona opens it. The other two position themselves a few steps back.
 
Of course there's a fiery explosion - an Energy Killing Attack. Fortunately Trolls do have some Resistant ED. I mark off a couple of BOD that won't Regenerate.
G. O. D. : Don't you have a Vulnerability to Fire?
He's right. I recalculate damage and mark off several points of BOD that won't Regenerate.
Fiona: It burns!
Runs towards the Tank, falls into the hole in the floor, makes Breakfall roll to leap to her feet again and keep running
(remember, this was a tunnel sloping up to the floor; Fiona ran into it from the "back" and thus fell, then easily ran up the slope back to ground level)
Fiona: Hey Kool Aid Man!
bangs on the hatch
Fiona: I need to cool down, where's the Kool Aid?
Kool Aid Man pops out: There's no Kool Aid here.
Fiona: You came busting through the wall like Kool Aid Man but didn't bring the Kool Aid?
Copperhead: That thing doesn't have a Kool Aid dispenser in it?
Crocodile: How soon can I go home? (Meaning back to Australia) Hey Dom, that trap was protecting some kind of case. It's locked.
Big Boomstick: Bring it over here.
They approach, avoiding the hole.
Fiona, to Boomstick: Know what I hate about Humans? You invented fire.
Big Boomstick: We didn't invent fire, the Titans gave it to us. Well, that's if you believe in legends.
Fiona: You're talking to a Troll.
The other two arrive with the case.
Fiona: There aren't going to be any more fiery explosions, are there?
Crocodile: If there are, you'll be the first to know.
Fiona: I'll just wait over on the other side of the Tank.
It was decided to take the case back to base for further investigation.
 
Oh, and at some point regarding the burn injuries:
 
Fiona: That's what Mother Ettindam's Unguent is for. Treating burns is the one kind of first aid Trolls WOULD know.
 
And yes, I have since written up that Trollish secret unguent and if it meets with the approval of the Game Operations Director I'll be using it.
 
Edit: Next time we played, everyone except "Crocodile" Kylie forgot about the case. Which turns out to contain a scroll that no one can read - except Crocodile. Seems we have a potential mage.
 
Copperhead John started making Weaponsmith rolls to try to get some of the beneficial modifications Monster Hunster International allows for fire arms, and was frustrated by repeated failures: until our Game Operations Director remembered we were using Dom Gunn's facilities, which he'd already written up as giving a +6 to such rolls. Now we ALL have bonuses to our boomsticks; my character's light machinegun has a +4 OCV now. Oh, and we're all getting armor piercing ammunition.
 
Copperhead engraved his own personal weapons and wanted to put flowers and the words "Faerie Princess" on mine, but I wanted something else on it.
 
Fiona(holding up the machinegun and addressing it dramatically): I will give you a name. I will call you MINA'S REVENGE!
 
Then I had to explain who that was (the character in the original Dracula story.)
 
Lucius Alexander
 
Correction: Palindromedary Enterprises has received no promotional consideration from Kool Aid. Mother Ettindam provided 128 cases of unguent, but the Game Operations Director confiscated most of them. Surbrook's Stuff provided the character John Lee Pettimore III but the version appearing here has been extensively revised and expanded.

D&D : More Loose Ends
Lamech attunes a certain looted Staff of Defence

Lamech: I just threaten it until it agrees to co-operate.

One last loose end to tie up - go to the actual Lost Mine of Phandelver known as Wave Echo Cave, and locate our dwarf employer's brothers. That, and find out who the Black Spider is. Some rogue dark elf seems likely.

Lamech: They were torturing you for the location of the cave, right? And you never told them? And they never STOPPED torturing you. So they still don't know where it is - what's the rush?
GM: The fact that he sent his brothers to the cave, and haven't been heard from since, is a bad sign.
Lamech: Good point.

Plus we'll be getting some mithril gear out of it, on top of 10% interest in the lost mine. Of course the wandering undead archers wandering about are a bad sign too. Especially if they were intelligent enough to run away when they were attacked. We argue over whether the dwarfs have a claim to the mine, under prior ownership, or whether the descendants of the orcs that trashed it and the village of Phandalin generations ago have a better claim.

GM: What a pity you have to run off and deal with an elemental apocalypse, instead of staying here to argue the legal intricacies of ownership of the Lost Mine.

The cave does indeed boom like heavy surf. Which is odd, given how far we are from the sea. We find the dwarf's campsite, and a dwarf who has been dead for at least a week. It's one of the missing brothers, after we get his boots identified.

Lamech: I wonder why he hasn't got up and started walking around.

Subsidence has also collapsed the original entrance to the mine, and opened up this cavern.

Kavorog: I drop a rock down the chasm.
GM: You really want to alert everything down there?
Kavorog: It's just a rock.
Lamech: If you want to alert everything you need to drop a bucket. And then someone calls you a fool of a Took.

Most of the first chambers are abandoned minefaces, but in one cavern there's a pool, and freshly harvested mussel shells. SOMETHING is alive down here. And it's unlikely to be anything as cute as a sea otter.

GM: It'd have to a giant sea otter, or a pygmy sea otter. There aren't any normal sized creatures in dungeons.

A hour dragging the pool turns up human remains.

GM: Not an undead skeleton, or an Aboleth skeleton, or a giant dire sea otter skeleton.

It's still wearing platinum rings and carrying a wand, too. It's a Wand of Magic Missiles.

Lamech: Let's just call it the Boomstick.

The booming noise drowns out conversation, and clanking around. Handy, that.

Lamech: Of course, it drowns out THEIR noise too.

GM: At least you're not the Famous Five. Or it would be secret submarines, blah blah, missing atomic scientists, blah blah
Lamech: And lashings of ginger beer.

Urlon: I put my ear to the door.
Kavorog: Have fun with the door weevils.

There's bugbears or hobgoblins on the other side, complaining they haven't been fed.

Kavorog: How many?
Lamech: At least two. Unless... what are those giants with two heads?

Urlon: *in Goblin* Oi! I've got your food - come out and get it!

Lamech waits until they unbarricade the door. The hobgoblins are clearly suspicious, since we here them arm up and prepare to retaliate if surprised, as they open the door. This does them no good, since the door and whoever is behind it goes away with a Shatter spell, backed up by the dragonborn's electric loogies.Thereafter, apparently annoyed at our methodical and cautious exploration, Elethandiel fails a common sense check, wanders off by himself, crosses a roomful of corpses, and gets jumped by a pack of ghouls. Worse, the next room has a flying skull burning with green fire. And what we strongly suspect are zombies. Of course, the rest of us aren't stupid enough to just stroll in. Instead, we turn around and go back the other way. It's not like the missing dwarf is going to be in that room anyway.

And in more depressing news.
 
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/un-to-investigate-uk-over-human-rights-abuses-against-disabled-people-caused-by-welfare-reform-10478536.html

Shock and indignation as Kermit the Frog dumps Miss Piggy for thinner girlfriend

http://themighty.com/2015/08/when-we-asked-ronda-rousey-if-she-had1-apraxia-of-speech/
 
 
Neat little story about Ronda Rousey. 

That's not paranoia, that's using paranoia to justify a power trip.  And I'm dying to know what "agricultural terrorism" is.