Pariah

Given that he's a chemistry professor, that could've turned out a lot worse.

Q - So I hear that someone literally gagged Howard Stern. How did that turn out? A - That's not negotiable. It never was.

Q - How'd that "Doorway to Heaven" you've been working on turn out? A - We have found the seventh sign down in the catacombs.

Well, duh.

Congratulations!

I liked K.I.T.T. better than any of the human characters.

I'm stealing this.

I think Lady Cancer probably knows when her anniversary is.

Anyhoo, we looked at a new place yesterday. It's in a decent neighborhood and would work well for us. There are three other families vying for the place, apparently, but none of them can move in until November 1st. That may give us an edge...if we decide that's the place we want. Just over 72 hours into the whole process, I don't know that we can make much of a call just yet.

See, even that's too much information.

She swore she recognized me from the vegan club meetings, but I told her I'd never met herbivore.

Isn't he the guy with all the action figures in Weird Al's "White and Nerdy" video?

Robert Downey Jr. is giving his keynote address in the men's room.

Rick Astley owns every DVD in the Pixar catalog, and he will happily lend you any of them, except for one. He's never gonna give you Up.

No, and no, respectively.

Make a decent movie. (Nah, that'll never work.)

Rules for Taking Naked Pictures of Yourself: 1) Don't take naked pictures of yourself. 2) If you decide to break Rule 1, don't show the pictures to anyone. 3) If you decide to break rules 1 and 2, don't put the pictures on a computer that is connected to the Internet. 4) Your smartphone is a computer that is connected to the Internet. 5) The Cloud is somebody else's computer that is connected to the Internet, over which you have no control.

Miley Cyrus and Justin Beiber, along with their respective fan bases.

Funny, I always pictured you with a shiny golden forehead tattoo....

The moon. It interferes with my view Venus. Pass the Illudium Q-38 Explosive Space Modulator, please.

Teal'c, then?

Well, it's not lutefisk, at least.

Make him drink weak American beer for a month. New Topic: Subtle signs that Foxbat has had too much coffee.

Who can tell what those crazy Ozzies are going to like?

Apologies are sweet. Sincere apologies are sweeter. But not behaving like a jackass in the first place is the sweetest of all.