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Pariah

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Everything posted by Pariah

  1. Pariah
    The parking situation at my alma mater, where I'm assisting with a summer chemistry program, is a nightmare. The parking lot at the chemistry building is currently a construction zone until they finish the new law building. Thank the maker for light rail.
  2. Pariah
    "Not now, John. I'm on a case."
  3. Pariah
    Q - Can you help me get the lid off this pickle jar? A - It's the only one I've ever seen that didn't come with a warning label and three lead-lined flasks.
  4. Pariah
    Burrito? Wasn't the latest theory that he was actually an egg roll?
  5. Pariah
    I don't care how you try to explain it, that's simply not tax-deductible.
  6. Pariah
    L. Marcus is their top field operative. New Topic: Other notable NGD posters and their true roles in the Massive Global Conspiracy.
  7. Pariah
    They sell your e-mail address and other personal information to PeTA, Fingerhut, and al Qaeda. New Topic: So, you finally got that super-secret decoder ring in the mail. Now what?
  8. Pariah
    Mine is too uneven to grow out properly. And too much of it's the wrong color. I do grow a goatee every year for the month leading up to the AP Exam. I tell my students it's a sign that I've been replaced by the evil Mr. M, who's an even more unreasonably critical and demanding S.O.B. than the one they're used to.
  9. Pariah
    It gets 23 gallons to the mile. No, that's not a typo.
  10. Pariah
    She's writing it in cuneiform.
  11. Pariah
    Q - We're scared! How do we get back to the other side of this high-rise construction site? A - For one thing, the peach cider is fantastic.
  12. Pariah
    A church leader of mine used to say, "You've got to have a pretty darn good meeting to be better than no meeting at all."
  13. Pariah
    I actually knew FORTRAN at one time. Modula-2 as well. And I pretty much taught myself HTML back in the day.
  14. Pariah
    Helicopters?
  15. Pariah
    Like cranes?
  16. Pariah
    What measure is half a burrito?
  17. Pariah
    Q - I fathered the Kardashians! A - There's no excuse for that kind of meticulous attention to detail.
  18. Pariah
    How many functionally literate burritos do you suppose there are out there?
  19. Pariah
    Look for contextual clues, maybe?
  20. Pariah
    A - Is it a great day to live in Cleveland or what?! Q - I can probably name three things I care less about, but you'll have to give me a minute.
  21. Pariah
    Based on the trailer, most people conclude that your movie is about a reindeer and a mentally-retarded snowman.
  22. Pariah
    The Infinite Improbability Drive. What's more improbable than Foxbat ruling the universe?
  23. Pariah
    I've had moose, but it was a long time ago. I don't remember it being particularly remarkable in taste.
  24. Pariah
    You've never heard the Queen album "A Kind of Magic"?
  25. Pariah
    I haven't tried yak. Bison is pretty tasty, though. And elk is good, too.
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