BoloOfEarth

There are actually 8 tentacles, one is barely visible going between cushions through the corner of the sectional.

sod

The Detroit Lions actually won, on a score of 7-6. Which was truly odd, because the other team didn't even show up.

I'm imagining one of the "faithful" showing up a the gates of heaven. "I've been faithful and trusted in God to keep me safe! How could I die of COVID?" And God's voice booming out, "Hey I had Fauchi warn people to wear masks and social distance. I sent multiple vaccine variants, most of which were available for free. What more did you expect? Three boats and a helicopter?"

Eel tossing Scruffian down to Trailblazer was tactically very sound, IMO. It kept her from coming back up after him, unless she wanted to lug the unconscious bad guy around (which would probably slow her down) or risk Scruffian getting away (if she left him behind). While I chuckled at Eel's comment, I didn't read that bit as just for humor's sake. As to the latest installment, I liked Clamdigger taking a big of affront at effectively being called a minion. Everybody (even the bad guys) sees themselves as the heroes of their own story, and doesn't like being reminded that they're not a hero in the grand scheme of things. (That's why I'm not fond of villains being depicted as evil just for the sake of being evil. It's too 2-dimensional. A little complexity makes them much better antagonists.)

The first installment today (the fight with Trailblazer) had some genuine LOL moments for me. I particularly liked "and hit me on the ow!" and "Pinprick is back already?" I really enjoyed that, with the caveat that you don't want to do that too much or it kills the tension you're setting. (Not saying you overdid it, just providing a word of caution.) Nice thug and goon hangout. It wouldn't be Rose's Bar, by any chance, would it? Sorry, I used that hex map so much it's held together with duct tape and Champions players' tears.

By "weak" I hope you're referring purely to your word count. Better to put out 1000 words of good content as you've done than to produce 2000 words of crap.

"Could a machine be memorized?" Or did you mean mesmerized? (Did Auto-Incorrect rear its ugly head there?) I'd suggest adding a bit of how the woman hostage was reacting to Scruffian - screaming behind the gag, struggling, looking terrified. Or was she unconscious? If the former, a bit about her reactions would help build the tension. Other than those two minor hiccups, another good installment. I especially loved Trailblazer saving the day while simultaneously screwing up Eel's plan, and am really looking forward to how this plays out.

I think if Marvel tried to make Flash and Cyborg female, they might have had a problem with lawsuits from DC.

If you keep it up, we might have to charge you.

Just did a quick re-read of sections of Part Due. I think I have a good guess who Ophiotaurus might be as well. But I'll hold my tongue and not spoil it. If I'm right, I've got to say kudos to Hermit for laying the groundwork so well. And points to Pinprick for calling it.

My curiosity is really piqued about what Eel was setting up at Hobby Wood. And I think I need to quickly re-read Part Due to see if I can figure out who Ophiotaurus might be before the big reveal. I was *really* happy to see Mayo return in this latest installment. I always enjoyed his and Caleb's friendship, and know Fish Guy will benefit from Mayo's wisdom. Maybe this time we'll get to see Mayo strut his magic stuff? I like the tongue-in-cheek Star Wars reference (though I had to look it up to truly get the joke). No real suggestions come to mind. Good job.

I will no doubt be watching bits and pieces of it over the next months. My wife has the absolutely annoying habit of constantly changing the channel, so she watches parts of 3-4 different shows at once, and the Hallmark channel is usually in the mix. What has 15 actors, four settings, two writers, and one plot? 632 Hallmark movies

I'm unable to find the video with the Asian guy talking about other Asians complaining about stereotypes and screwing up "The Plan". Though as I recall it was NSFW, so maybe not the best to post it here anyway. Wish I could at least remember the guy's name.

Sorry, I forgot to provide feedback Sunday and yesterday. I like the edits; they covered things nicely. Things are moving along nicely. Strangely for a superhero story, I like the behind-the-action stuff as much as, if not more than, I like the action scenes. I think it's because what I like most in my books and movies are the characters. (I may have said this before; if so, I apologize.) I'll forgive plot holes, bad dialogue, and cheesy special effects (and to be clear, I'm not saying any of those apply here) if I like the characters and how they interact and develop. And I think what makes the FishGuyVerse so worth reading is the characters. These most recent parts carried that along quite well, IMO. I liked the inappropriate "demographics debate", for example, as it made the characters involved seem more human, more real than just 2-D comic book renderings. Loved the "He tried to kill Lenny!" - it gave me a South Park flashback. ("They killed Kenny!") In my head, ElectricGuy will always sound like Kyle. Not sure that's what you were going for, but it worked for me. I'll confess, I was temporarily unsure who the Miscreants were when they were first mentioned. Since they were introduced in a prior "book" I'd suggest a very brief bit from Viewpoint or Valerosa reminding the rookies who the bad guys are - even just a sentence about them being all about the social media would suffice. After all, you have no guarantee someone reading Adventures of Fish Guy Part Three has already read Part Two. Other than that, no real suggestions. Well done, Hermit. Looking forward to the next installment(s).

Pariah, I'm going to have to deviate from Bazza and say, Get well soon. As to naming teachers, do you mean their given names or the names we gave them?

Wow, a two-fer, just 7 hours apart. Well done. I'm guessing Aspirant wasn't caught by surprise by Pogo's birthday. I'm curious what he got her. (Actually, that seemed like something truly missing - a simple one sentence bit, like, "It was no surprise that Aspirant's [present] was well received - guess that's one benefit of being a mind-reader" would have fit well in there. I can appreciate that you needed to move time along a bit - in the first of today's parts, in my mind I was imagining the training montage, but I'm glad you included an actual mini-scene, which fit in well as a prelude to the second part. Must say, I'm worried about Caleb's dad. Not looking forward to the scene where that truth is revealed. The fight itself was well done, IMO. Though I was surprised that after Fish Guy mentioning that Valerosa was going to make her way to Bramble, it doesn't seem that she did. True, Breathless needed to be taken care of, but I'd have suggested Valerosa at least be tending to Bramble afterward, even if she was keeping an eye on Breathless in the process. Don't take that wrong, though. Other than those minor suggestions, both parts were good. I'm guessing they'll put a bit more effort into finding this Ophiotaurus.

I like that a bit of this story is coming almost as much of a surprise to you as it is to us, Hermit. It means that the story and the characters have a life of their own. I'm reminded of an anecdote I heard where Agatha Christie's publisher was re-publishing some of her early works and sent her the proofs to see if there were any corrections or other changes she wanted made. A few weeks later, the publisher called to ask how she was doing going over the proofs. She said, "It's marvelous! I'm halfway through one of the books and I can't remember who did it!" BTW, I take back what I said earlier about Eel never winning in the War of the Sexes. Even if it did hurt her feelings a bit, I think the guy-fest still counts as a win. And the fact that he realizes how lucky he is and works as hard as he does at it, means that even when he loses the War, he wins.

Okay, that whole installment had me cracking up. Captain Grunty McManscowl. LOL. Edit to add: I'm glad you had an albeit brief bit with Eel and Viewpoint. I was worried Viewpoint would be getting a bit of the short shift, so I'm glad you put that in. Also glad that, even though he's new to the team, that Eel isn't treating him like one of the rookies.

I feel sorry for Eel. The poor guy's never going to win in the War of the Sexes. Kudos on the quick turn-around time for this installment, Hermit.

Neaten

Excellent War Games reference, BTW. Purchase bombs that are freshly made and have transparent casings. That's "new-clear", isn't it? NT: What should be given out to trick-or-treaters instead of normal candy this year?

Had a little time this evening to go over a few more pages: Page 6: SPEED – I’m unsure about whether you want to add this, but you might mention that a Segment is one second long. Also, suggest either capitalizing Segment throughout the text, or putting it in lower-case in the HAYMAKER paragraph on page 13. Personally, I prefer it being capitalized when referring to a game element, but YMMV. Either way, it should be consistent. You may also consider capitalizing Turn here. (It’s capitalized in How to Recover on page 9.) Actually, suggest in paragraph 1 changing to {how often you move and act in a 12-Segment period, called a Turn.} DEXTERITY – suggest you capitalize Phase throughout the text when referring to the Segment you get to act, or else put it in lower-case in the SPEED 2nd paragraph above and the How To Recover on page 9. Again, personally I prefer it being capitalized when referring to the game element of time, by YMMV here as well. Page 7: No correction needed on this first part, I just really loved the “Eric the Half-a-Phase” heading. EVERYTHING!, paragraph 4 – suggest {but do have fun and contribute; don’t feel limited}. Also suggest adding to end something like {This is role playing, after all.} UNTIL, paragraphs 1 and 2 – suggest change “unit” to “agency”. Suggest adding a very brief paragraph at the bottom of the page to get the players ready for the intro adventure. Something like: {MEMORIES Now that you’re familiar with your friends and foes, it’s time for your GM to give you your first taste of Champions with an introductory adventure called Memories.} Page 8: Chapter Two, paragraph 3 – the second half reads a bit clunky, and the “might already know” vs. “until the adventure is over” feels discouraging. Suggest something like: {Some of it you might already know from the initial adventure; other parts you can discover now and in later chapters. A few things you may not find out about until the adventure is over.} Skills to Pay the Bills, paragraph 1 – error {role playing, have your character} Same paragraph, suggest adding {don’t just tell the GM} Skills to Pay the Bills, paragraph 2 – suggest change to {various skills your character can use} Page 9 BONK!, paragraph 1 – capitalization and punctuation errors {Someone who is Stunned is dazed, unable to act} (Capitalize Stunned and add comma) How To Recover, paragraph 2 – suggest {But, you also get a free}

Mated