DusterBoy

Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group...
 

 
 
No doubt the same one that's used for imagining Doctor Destroyer singing Queen's
"I Want It All" in a karaoke bar whilst wearing a lampshade on his head....
 
 
 
Major Tom 2009

Well, I haven't been keeping up with Digna's escapades, misadventures and misdemeanours. Jrska, OTOH, I remember with vivid clarity.
And a certain degree of terror.
 
Your hypothesis about the Porn Singularity seems to sound science, based on current physics models.

No kidding. Remember how well Drhoz played Jrska, his insane, irrepressibly, imaginatively and energetically perverse Slaanesh-worshipping dog-headed beast woman? Now there was a walking weaponized Smut FieldTM .

Stat them up

That is legit hilarious..... poor Robert. 

True. It is spelled correctly after all 😁

How about Redline, after the red line on a car’s tachometer?

Except Rebecca Romijn is the best Mystique. 

Except Rebecca Romijn is the best Mystique. 

A cat, a Canary, and morticia.

Our hero team runs into a villain team they've fought before, but this time the hero team has a new member. The villains say who they are and one of them points at the new team member, "Who is that?"
 
My young heroine kicks in with her spunky reply, "He's our lawyer... and he's going to sue you."
 
All the players are laughing now, and the GM.

Clearly, the fun never stops. Not even for a wedding. 
 
Nice cliffhanger, DrHoz

Clearly, the fun never stops. Not even for a wedding. 
 
Nice cliffhanger, DrHoz

Vamoose! 😀

Playtesting one scene in a convention event (part of this year's Blue Dragons two-session event at Dragonflight); it's Feng Shui 2, so over-the top action movie type stuff.
 
PCs begin kind of in shackles in the torture chamber of a bad guy's magical fortress; their gear sits in a heap on a table to one side.  ("Kind of" means there's some rolls to see how thoroughly the minions got them bound.)  Boss does a monologue and then hands the proceedings over to his torturemaster henchman and leaves.  The torturemaster's working name is "Lenny the Leper": he is diseased beyond the point of even zombielike decay, really revolting in appearance, but still functional in mind and body.
 
Lenny: There are five of you, and I only need one of you alive to tell me what I want to know.  So we will start one at a time, and if you do not answer my question, I will simply slit your throat.  (Pauses, then points to one character, a Full Metal Nutball archetype character.)  You first.  What were you doing in the castle's below-ground levels?
 
FNB: Well, we heard that there's a bunch of treasure down there, so we were looking to steal a good chunk of it and get away, because if we do that, then I retire and move to Puerto Rico, drink a quart of rum every day for sixteen years and turn my liver to a glutinous mass of goo, my skin turns yellow with disgusting brown and black spots, my teeth break off to cracked stubs, my hair falls out in bloody tufts, and I still wouldn't be as ugly as you.
 
Lenny: (Pause, then holds out one cadaverous hand to a minion.) Knife.

Gillert's Player: “…. what are you doing?”
Me: “Cosplaying a Portuguese Man-o-war”
 

Bizarrely enough, Ian had nothing to do with this



But he did  update me on his campaign of terror in DayZ. He's decided to build a base for himself. He didn't used to have a base - just an outhouse on the middle of the Haunted Forest. Teams would go into the forest hunting for his non-existent base, and walk right past the outhouse. He eavesdropped on one assassin that had gone in hunting him - the other PC radioed back "I've got to the outhouse - what do I do now?", dithered for a bit, then lost his nerve and fled back to town.

Anyway, his new base isn't as elaborate as most - it's just a barn. It's the accessories that make it the target of rage across the server. As one of Ian's friends asked him -

"Why have you spent four cases of gold on grenades?"

The grenades became the thirty-meter deep minefield around the barn. So far, nobody has even got to the door, despite him 'helpfully' arranging (booby-trapped) oil drums to jump between. One player even tried to drive a tank up to his door, and it got blown up too. Ian cheerfully looted the bodies and parked the tank beside his barn, and invited the player to come retrieve it. One team did try to land a helicopter on the roof, but Ian had deliberately chosen a building with a sloped roof. They slid right off into the minefield. Naturally, the carnage has greatly improved Ian's pile of loot. To the fury of the other players, he just stores it all in the barn.

Player: I got him! I finally got him! Wait, he's not carrying any loot.
Player 2: what? He took my best rifle last week!
Player: he says he stashed it in the barn.
Player 2: fuuuuuuuu-

Of course, they could just fly a plane into his barn, just like he did to those other players, but while he was bored one day he discovered something interesting. He was building a tower from scaffolding, just to see how tall it would go, and was well above anything in the game when a plane flew into it. The plane blew up - and the tower stayed standing.

Ian thinks "I've just invented a giant flyswat". He's intending to build them at the end of each airport runway.

He recently spotted one of the other players heading to the traders camp, and wondered what he was buying. So he took off his burlap sack and followed him in. It turned out he was buying a car, and then medical supplies. So Ian got into the back of the car while the other player was off buying stuff, laid down on the back seat, put the burlap sack back on, and waited. And once they were driving down the road, sat up and started squealing and gibbering in the driver's ear.

After the car crash, the other player admitted it was pretty funny, but was slightly peeved that the car was a write-off and he'd been killed in the impact. The Pigman, predictably, survived.

Tonight, I ran an adventure titled "The Secret Origin of Mechanon" because I'm not a fan of the one in Book of the Machine and my world has a weird history, but it's not Champions without Mechanon. Some very special quotes are below. Due to a character named El Caminante creating a Klein Bottle in a temporal echo zone, my entire game almost became "Mechanon and the Mecha Men."
 
Basically, Mechanon was "created" when an American satellite named the N1-MK1 crashed in Africa after falling through a radiation belt. The "camera" and recording apparatus/computer was the source of Mechanon's origin. However, this created a quantum "echo" that wouldn't appear until present day. In 1957, the Americans and Russians sent superteams to retrieve the key data from the satellite. The Americans retrieved what they believed was the key information, but one of the russians secretly palmed the operational (irradiated) core and brought it back to Russia. He didn't even tell his fellow team members. Over time, mechanon built itself and began it's plans.
 
So the Quantum echo occurs. The russians go to investigate. The PC's team hears of the echo and goes to investigate. Well...Mechanon, sensing a familiar signal without really understanding it, shows up.
 
So they fiddle around with the Quantum echo for a while and accidentally displace themselves a couple times, only El Caminante decides to use his MOBIUS FIELD power to teleport inside the Quantum Echo. Well, he successfully reached the center. Unfortunately, all he got out before Mechanon shot him in the face and kayoed him in a single shot was "Mechanon! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
 
So the Russians and the PC's (after a brief explanation) fight Mechanon. And Mechanon isn't just winning. He's demolishing them. So El Caminante decides to put Mechanon in a Klein Bottle. (Yes. Inside the Quantum Echo. Clearly this is a great idea!)
 
Augenblick: DON'T DO IT! OOC: Do you really want to be the subject of the "I can't believe my players did this really stupid thing last night story?"
 
Me: OOC: No, this is more like you saying the same thing you said to Ryan in Mind over Matter. "I've done some pretty dumb things in Mike's game over the years, but this one has them all beat!"
 
Mechanon: You are the most dangerous one here! DIE!
 
Players (Except El Caminante): WE AGREE WITH MECHANON!
 
El Caminante misses. A Klein Bottle hangs oddly next to Mechanon.
 
Dr. Pranava's Player: I have never wanted a player to miss a villain so much! Oh my god!
 
(Game stops with laughter for five minutes here)
 
So Augenblick teleports the satellite into the path of Mechanon's attack. The satellite explodes, demolishing the Klein Bottle. The quantum backlash destroys Mechanon, who screams "NOOOOOOOOOO!" as he falls to the ground as a limp heap of parts.
 
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
Augenblick: "I wish to study you, but not invasively."
 
---------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 Augenblick (To El Caminante):                 "You have no understanding of your powers. Perhaps I could introduce you to a course in remedial quantum physics.
 
Shih Lin Yuan, the Dragon Sorceress: Excuse me? But how exactly does "remedial" enter into quantum physics?
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------
 
El Caminante's Player: So what would have happened if I had rolled an 18.
 
Me: There would have been a sickening pop, and you all would have to come back next week for the heroic adventures of "Mechanon and the Mecha Men!"

The plan : help that Imperial starship out of the Vortex, so they'll unwittingly feed information back to the forces of Chaos - i.e. Us.

Doing so, however, means using the Thirteenth Station, the only safe route in and out of the Screaming Vortex, and even then most Chaos ships sacrifice a few hundred slaves before they dare. Over the centuries, the frozen corpses have become something of a nuisance. The blockade fleet that patrols this side of the Warpgate is a nuisance as well.

Aladar: So what am I flying and what am I shooting?
Cog: You're not flying anything.
Jrska OoC: And you're not shooting anything because Jrska cut your balls off.

Cassius' ploy - Lure the fleet away from the gate, while our new 'friends' sneak past, silent running. We'll be towing the hulk of that raider ship we shot up too, so the prospect of an apparently Inquisitorial ship, with something no-doubt valuable in tow, should be irresistible.

Of course, we also have to repair the Imperial ship, strip the raider, and pull off our stunt, without anybody , including our own mix of mutant and deluded Emperor-worshipping crew, figuring out what we're actually doing. Tricky, given Cassius' winged mutation, disturbing psychic aura, and the need to work closely with the naive Imperial captain.

Jrska: Not as disturbing as me. And then there's the drooling noises whenever the captain is around and I'm there.

At least Jrska has something to distract her - brainwashing that Space Marine Dreadnought.

Cassius: I gave Jrska a challenge - break someone who is immune to sensation.
Jrska: That's OK, I'm watching chick flicks with him. Non-stop. For days on end.

Cassius: Jrska - I want you to select the prize crew for the raider. I want them competent, and loyal. A proportion of them are allowed to be worshippers of Slaanesh.
Jrska: ... 100% is a proportion...
Cassius: Not more than 1 in 10

Aladar van Rijn attempts to make himself useful, by getting some neural upgrades from the ships' Magos-engineer. He phrases it in a way that would make Slaanesh proud.

Aladar: I'm plugging myself into Father.
All: ....

He remains useless. The opening move of the Cassius Gambit nearly stalls the engine and almost tears the hulk free of its tow chains.

Aladar: Why are there four pedals when there are six directions?
Cassius: Why do you insist on flying the ship when you're no good at it?

Happily, the rest of us can offset Aladar's failings, by intimidating, cajoling, and exhorting the crew into working harder.

Aladar: Why do you keep calling it extorting the crew?
Jrska: Because I'm making them do stuff

Even then, there are limits to what we can achieve, even as we run rings around the blockade's formidable raiders, and start earning the attention of the hulking and extremely formidable cruisers.

Jrska: No matter how fast I beat the drum, they're not going to turn the ship any faster.

Aladar: The engines cannae take it, Captain!
Cassius: You weren't raised by the Adeptus Mechanicus - you don't know that ancient prayer

But it works ( apparently Aladar can remember how to pilot a ship if Cassius threatens to flay him alive ) and the Chains of Judgement retreats into the Vortex, and that delectable captain and her ship make a successful dash for the Thirteenth Station. No doubt the blockade's admiral will carry out a few disciplinary executions.

Back to Jrska's brother's lair in the Ragged Helix, where we discover that some of his supposedly loyal minions attempted a coup. There's considerable damage, but at least the traitors were driven off. Cassius is annoyed by this evidence of Chaos' unreliability.

Cassius: I make a point of not screwing people over until they've screwed me.
Jrska: ... Interesting phrasing, my lord.

Some of the survivors suspect it was Jrska's arrival that prompted the coup - a more important question is who egged it on? Leading suspects include Seyr the Bereft, who we acquired that Tyrant's Cord for months ago, and Gray the Mercenary.

Cassius: I don't buy it. Gray has always been like me, an honourable -
Jrska: So he was acting out of character, my lord?
Cassius: ...True.
Aladar: You think he was mind-controlled?
Jrska: No. I'm implying that his persona of an honourable mercenary may be just that - a persona.

Cassius: For some reason you're earning more infamy than me, and I don't know why.
Jrska: Perhaps it was the thing with the penguin, my lord.

But there we had to leave it for the session, after helping with the clean-up and acquiring a few more shiny things from the piles of wreckage. We still have to get more weapons built into the Chains, too. Perhaps something powered by that vault-full of tortured human souls?

That app has got almost everything. Thanks for posting it.

I’ve always thought that Captain America: Winter Soldier would have been a better movie if they’d depicted SHIELD as genuinely going authoritarian and not copped out with “Oh, this is actually all HYDRA’s fault.” 
 
I can see a superhero who is not bothered by non-violent crime, than he is by initiation of force and corruption, whoever it is doing it, and authoritarianism. 

How about Overdrive?  That happens to be the name of my speedster.