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(worst ever)...reasons to be a supervillain


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Re: (worst ever)...reasons to be a supervillain

 

I was looking at all those ripped supers, and thinking about my own weight problem, and I thought "You know, there's got to be something about that lifestyle." Now, if you're a Superhero, the people you're fighting are trying to kill you, but if you're a Supervillain, the good guys just want to lecture you about civic duty and stuff, so I said to myself, "Who would you rather fight?"

 

Then the Bronze Age came and screwed it all up for me.

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Re: (worst ever)...reasons to be a supervillain

 

Grond killed my cow' date=' and somebody's gotta pay for that.[/quote']

 

My cow killed Grond' date=' and now I have to take his place as a supervillain to balance the karmic wheel.[/quote']

 

Brilliant. Freakin' brilliant. Rep to the both of you.

 

(Except Milkman Dan, I'm gonna have to owe you. "You must spread some Rep around" yadda yadda yadda. Sorry.)

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Re: (worst ever)...reasons to be a supervillain

 

"When I took one of those aptitude tests in school, it said the career that would best fit me was 'supervillain', so here I am. I think they changed the test a few years back to take that option out."

 

 

 

"We were playing 'Simon says', and Johnny, who was Simon, said 'Simon says be evil', so I killed him. Since only the original Simon who told you to do something can tell you to stop, I've stayed evil."

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Re: (worst ever)...reasons to be a supervillain

 

No offense' date=' but I'm more worried about whose side your [u']cow[/u] is on! :eek:

 

The Cow that Killed Grond

 

COW BE TSE

 

Val Char Cost Roll Notes

45 STR 35 18- Lift 12.8tons; 9d6 [4]

14 DEX 12 12- OCV: 5/DCV: 5

23 CON 26 14-

22 BODY 24 13-

13 INT 3 12- PER Roll 13-

8 EGO -4 11- ECV: 3

20 PRE 10 13- PRE Attack: 4d6

8 COM -1 11-

 

13+12 PD 4 Total: 13/25 PD (3/15 rPD)

8+12 ED 3 Total: 8/20 ED (3/15 rED)

3 SPD 6 Phases: 4, 8, 12

14 REC 0

46 END 0

57 STUN 0 Total Characteristic Cost: 117

 

Movement: Running: 24"/24"

Leaping: 8"/16"

Swimming: 2"/4"

 

Cost Powers END

15 Horns: HKA 1d6 (2d6 w/STR) 1

3 Tough Skin: Damage Resistance (3 PD/3 ED)

10 Heavy: Knockback Resistance -5"

3 Heightened Senses: +1 PER with All Sense Groups

5 Healthy Cow: Rapid Healing

36 From Pasture's Heart, I Strike At Thee: Running +18" (24" total), combat acceleration/deceleration (+¼) (48 Active Points); no Noncombat movement (-¼) 5

Notes: Through long legs and long training, the Mistress of Gyu Do is able to accellerate and stop almost instantly, remaining at all times in perfect balance.

Gyu Do, The Way of the Cow

7 1) Gyu Do, the Way of the Cow: +7 with Move Through

Notes: Even moving at 24", the mistress of Gyu-Do is at a total of +2 OCV to strike her target

22 2) Cow Chi Charge: Hand-To-Hand Attack +9d6 (45 Active Points); Hand-To-Hand Attack (-½), Limited Power Power loses about a third of its effectiveness (Only with Move Through; -½) 4

Notes: Drawing on the full power of her mystical Cow Chi, the mistress of Gyu-do is able to charge far more powerfully than lesser cows

30 3) Eye of the Cow: Find Weakness 15- with Move Through

Notes: Drawing on mystic Cow senses, the mistress of Gyu Do may find the slightest weakness in a foe's defenses.

20 4) Iron Cow Technique I: Armor (12 PD/12 ED) (36 Active Points); Nonpersistent (-¼), Limited Power Power loses about a fourth of its effectiveness (Must be aware of attack; -¼), Limited Power Power loses about a fourth of its effectiveness (Does not prevent penetration; -¼)

40 5) Iron Cow Technique II: Physical Damage Reduction, Resistant, 75% (60 Active Points); Nonpersistent (-¼), Limited Power Power loses about a fourth of its effectiveness (Must be aware of attack; -¼)

20 6) Iron Cow Technique III: Energy Damage Reduction, Resistant, 50% (30 Active Points); Nonpersistent (-¼), Limited Power Power loses about a fourth of its effectiveness (Must be aware of attack; -¼)

18 7) No Cow Technique: Invisibility to Sight and Hearing Groups , Reduced Endurance (0 END; +½) (37 Active Points); Only When Not Attacking (-½), Limited Power Power loses about a third of its effectiveness (Not versus machines or those expecting a psychotic cow; -½)

Notes: Not true invisibility, the No Cow Technique draws on the peace of the pastures, causing those not expecting to be attacked by a psychotic cow to ignore the cow's presence. Photographs and recordings will still reveal the presence of the cow, and should the cow become violent then all present will be fully aware of it.

 

Skills

4 Language: English (completely fluent; literate)

Notes: Cow is native

 

Total Powers & Skill Cost: 233

Total Cost: 350

 

200+ Disadvantages

15 Physical Limitation: Can't speak, can only moo (Frequently, Greatly Impairing)

10 Physical Limitation: Not familliar with Human culture (Frequently, Slightly Impairing)

10 Physical Limitation: Limited Manipulation (can manipulate somewhat with hooves) (Frequently, Slightly Impairing)

20 Hunted: Beef and Dairy Council 8- (Mo Pow, NCI, Harshly Punish)

20 Hunted: VIPER 8- (Mo Pow, NCI, Capture)

10 Distinctive Features: It's a Cow (Concealable; Noticed and Recognizable; Detectable By Commonly-Used Senses)

25 Social Limitation: Only a Cow, No legal rights (Very Frequently, Severe)

15 Psychological Limitation: Dedicated to ending the eating of beef by Humans (Very Common, Moderate)

20 Psychological Limitation: Protective of the innocent, including innocent cows (Very Common, Strong)

5 Rivalry: Professional (Other martial artists; Rival is As Powerful; Seek to Outdo, Embarrass, or Humiliate Rival; Rival Aware of Rivalry)

 

Total Disadvantage Points: 350

 

Background/History: When Hopalong Chow, Chinese Cowboy, decided to develop a new martial art around the behavior of cows, everyone thought he was crazy. When his favorite cow and training partner, Be Tse, grew incredibly large and aggressive (for a cow), they thought he was a genius. After Be Tse killed a well known supervillain at the state fair, the consensus of opinion swung back to crazy. Hopalong disappeared, and Be Tse, growing curious about the world outside her pasture, set out to walk the Earth, protect the innocent, and promote vegetarianism.

 

Personality/Motivation: Be Tse is pleasant, mellow, and deadly. She doesn't understand much about humans, but she will not abide cruelty, evil, or the consumption of beef. Be Tse is aware that she is mad by both human and cow standards, but doesn't let this get her down. Be Tse is proud of her martial arts skills, and makes a point of demonstrating to other martial artists the power of Gyu Do.

 

Quote: Mooooooo!

 

Powers/Tactics: Be Tse will generally use her No Cow technique to move behind the foe and find weakness, then hit them by surprise with a 26d6 move through (52d6 out of combat against an unsuspecting target). It's amazing how often that works.

 

Be Tse is the absolute mistress of Gyu Do, with numerous chi powers augmenting her martial skills. Additionally, thanks to the special diet and training techniques of Hopalong Chow, Be Tse is a genius by cow standards, able to read and understand English and think at a level inconceivable to most cows. Despite her actual size, she takes no size limitation, as Be Tse is surprisingly adept at moving quietly and unimpeded through the human world.

 

Campaign Use: Cow Avenger of the Night?

 

Appearance: Be Tse is one very large cow.

 

Copyright Robert Dorf, 2007

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Re: (worst ever)...reasons to be a supervillain

 

"So me and some other guys on Varsity got a few beers in us and decided to go cow tipping. Dude, the way they flail! So anyway, we scope out this enormous heifer standing all alone in a paddock. Yeah, a paddock, that's what it's called, shut up. Brandon pusses out on us saying "Guys, that cow has powerful chi." All we can do is stare then bust on him for watching too much Jackie Chan. We get a running start, as quiet as we can, and charge the dumb beast like she's the O-line of North High.

 

"Next thing I know I'm bandaged head to toe and the doctors think it'll take surgery to get the hoof print out of my skull. I'm gonna miss Homecoming! So when I heal, I'm gonna quit school and turn to evil, and every person I kill I'm going to pretend they're an ambush wushu cow."

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Re: (worst ever)...reasons to be a supervillain

 

"I was a moderator on an internet message board, and I got tired of being flamed via PM with no options other than to remain civil or infract the flamers. So, I started tracking people down via their IP addresses, and, well, one thing led to another. At least the spandex is comfy."

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Re: (worst ever)...reasons to be a supervillain

 

(Not versus machines or those expecting a psychotic cow; -½)

"Nobody expects the Psychotic Cow!" Nope, sorry, it doesn't work.

 

10 Distinctive Features: It's a Cow (Concealable; Noticed and Recognizable; Detectable By Commonly-Used Senses)

How do you conceal being a cow?

Wait, I know! It enters the world of Ancient Macintoshes, and is mistaken for a dog! :winkgrin:

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Re: (worst ever)...reasons to be a supervillain

 

How do you conceal being a cow?

Wait, I know! It enters the world of Ancient Macintoshes, and is mistaken for a dog! :winkgrin:

 

I don't know but every year cows get shot by deer hunters that thing they're deer.

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Re: (worst ever)...reasons to be a supervillain

 

"When I was growing up, I promised I'd never contribute to the 'brain drain' in my state. But after graduating with a doctorate in quantum physics and being forced to work in a machine shop to make ends meet... well, designing an orbital laser platform just seemed like a good way to pass the time and things snowballed from there."

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