JohnnyAppleseed098 Posted May 12, 2016 Report Share Posted May 12, 2016 A - As it turns out, the root of all evil is actually 25.8069758.... Q: Why would the devil ever want to do math? A: When John Cena enters a room, all the WWE superstars stand up. The same applies to this guy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted May 12, 2016 Report Share Posted May 12, 2016 A: When John Cena enters a room, all the WWE superstars stand up. The same applies to this guy. Q: What would happen if people could actually see Old Man Death? A: They already can, if they've had enough to drink. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted May 13, 2016 Report Share Posted May 13, 2016 A: They already can, if they've had enough to drink. Q: Can I really teach these women to turn me into the most desirable guy on the planet? A: But if these people get their way, in fifteen years no bands will have a drummer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 19, 2016 Report Share Posted May 19, 2016 A: But if these people get their way, in fifteen years no bands will have a drummer. Q - Aliens are destroying cymbals and floor toms? Why would they do that? A - I never said that. See? It's listed right here in the Book Of Things I Never Said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted May 19, 2016 Report Share Posted May 19, 2016 A - I never said that. See? It's listed right here in the Book Of Things I Never Said. Q: But didn't you say the tax cuts would pay for themselves as revemue actuallyh increases the less taxes you collect? A: If that were really a zombie, I would be screaming. I am not screaming. Therefore, that is not a zombie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted May 20, 2016 Report Share Posted May 20, 2016 Q: But didn't you say the tax cuts would pay for themselves as revemue actuallyh increases the less taxes you collect? A: If that were really a zombie, I would be screaming. I am not screaming. Therefore, that is not a zombie. Q: Did you not just see that zombie amble along? A: The periodic table was inverted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 20, 2016 Report Share Posted May 20, 2016 A: The periodic table was inverted. Q: How did all of these elements end up all over the floor? A: Your biggest problem is going to be bismuth. And it's not every day that I can say that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted May 21, 2016 Report Share Posted May 21, 2016 A: Your biggest problem is going to be bismuth. And it's not every day that I can say that. Q: My GI tract is a mess, and you're telling me it's now illegal to run a pharmacy? A: Defeat your plans? Please! Your plans were defeated the moment you drew them up on an Apple ][ in 1981 while you were in high school! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 23, 2016 Report Share Posted May 23, 2016 A: Defeat your plans? Please! Your plans were defeated the moment you drew them up on an Apple ][ in 1981 while you were in high school! Q: You fool! Do you really think a young whippersnapper like you can defeat my plans? A: All right, but he'll take it personally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted May 23, 2016 Report Share Posted May 23, 2016 A: All right, but he'll take it personally. Q: Clouseau, can we make sure these apprentices the Phantom keeps sending out don't take the Pink Panther? A: Better yet, if called by a panther, don't anther. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted May 24, 2016 Report Share Posted May 24, 2016 Q: Clouseau, can we make sure these apprentices the Phantom keeps sending out don't take the Pink Panther? A: Better yet, if called by a panther, don't anther. Q: Why does your phone have several unanswered calls from a T'Challa? A: We forgot to pay the gravity bill. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted May 24, 2016 Report Share Posted May 24, 2016 A: We forgot to pay the gravity bill. Q: Scotty, why are we swimming through the ship instead of walking the way we usually do? A: Girls live on snacks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted May 27, 2016 Report Share Posted May 27, 2016 A: Girls live on snacks! Q: The dancers are performing on a dance floor made of pretzels and corn chips? What is this? A: Better than on television. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 27, 2016 Report Share Posted May 27, 2016 A: Better than on television. Q - The Kardashians have signed an exclusive deal to appear at Branson? A - As long as you don't fall off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted May 28, 2016 Report Share Posted May 28, 2016 A - As long as you don't fall off. Q: Is it fun to jet-ski on the sea while there's a school of man-eating sharks directly beneath youj in the water? A: You'd think a guy that's lived over a hundred years and has more money than anyone else in the world would get a real swimming pool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 1, 2016 Report Share Posted June 1, 2016 A: You'd think a guy that's lived over a hundred years and has more money than anyone else in the world would get a real swimming pool. Q - What's wrong with Vandal Savage having a hot tub? A - More fun with a tuxedo than without. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 1, 2016 Report Share Posted June 1, 2016 A - More fun with a tuxedo than without. Q: What was Sailor Moon's initial impression of Mamoru? A: Being able to turn flowers into deadly weapons can be amazingly useful! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted June 2, 2016 Report Share Posted June 2, 2016 A: Being able to turn flowers into deadly weapons can be amazingly useful! Q: You bludgeoned him to death with a bronze petunia?!? A: Overnight I'll have a lawn full of gold dandelions!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcus Impudite Posted June 3, 2016 Report Share Posted June 3, 2016 A: Overnight I'll have a lawn full of gold dandelions!! Q: Why are you burying fragments of the Philosopher's Stone in your front yard? A: By the time anyone caught on, he'd absconded with twenty million dollars of the company's money. Rumor has it he and his girlfriend are hiding out in the Cayman Islands. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 3, 2016 Report Share Posted June 3, 2016 A: By the time anyone caught on, he'd absconded with twenty million dollars of the company's money. Rumor has it he and his girlfriend are hiding out in the Cayman Islands. Q: I Kickstarted this game three years ago! Surely it's ready by now? A: Take this pill and you will have the power of twenty atom bombs for a period of twenty seconds -- which is about as long as you will need it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted June 4, 2016 Report Share Posted June 4, 2016 Q: I Kickstarted this game three years ago! Surely it's ready by now? A: Take this pill and you will have the power of twenty atom bombs for a period of twenty seconds -- which is about as long as you will need it. Q: What is your great weapon for defeating Galacticus? A: This is my great application for the zombies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 4, 2016 Report Share Posted June 4, 2016 A: This is my great application for the zombies. Q: How can you possibly see profit potential in giving smartphones to the rotting, shambling undead? A: I'm a man with a mission. A boy with a gun. I've got a picture in my pocket of the lucky one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 18, 2016 Report Share Posted June 18, 2016 Anyone? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted June 18, 2016 Report Share Posted June 18, 2016 Off-topic: my first impulse was in such poor taste that I suppressed it. A: I'm a man with a mission. A boy with a gun. I've got a picture in my pocket of the lucky one. Q: You know the FBI is looking really, really hard, don't you? A: Mission: Inedible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted June 18, 2016 Report Share Posted June 18, 2016 Off-topic: my first impulse was in such poor taste that I suppressed it. Q: You know the FBI is looking really, really hard, don't you? A: Mission: Inedible. Q: Your assignment should you choose to accept it is to consume Mount Doom in Latveria. A: Mxyzptlk has just had dealings with Q. Cancer 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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