death tribble Posted August 11, 2016 Report Share Posted August 11, 2016 A: Dull, cold, lifeless, extreme only in being boring, monotone, unending, ... kinda like sophomore English class. Q: What is the considered opinion of the life and work of Newt Gingrich ? A: I'm known for being quite vexing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 11, 2016 Report Share Posted August 11, 2016 A: I'm known for being quite vexing Q: What sort of reputation do you think you have among rational human beings, Mr. Trump? A: Anyone who isn't bat-**** crazy is not allowed to be President. It's in the Constitution. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted August 13, 2016 Report Share Posted August 13, 2016 A: Anyone who isn't bat-**** crazy is not allowed to be President. It's in the Constitution. Q: ... and number four in the pamphlet Seven Reasons to Elect Foxbat is? A: At least we know what he wants: a cubic kilometer of stale cheese puffs! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 13, 2016 Report Share Posted August 13, 2016 A: At least we know what he wants: a cubic kilometer of stale cheese puffs! Q - Galactus has an eating disorder? This is bad news, isn't it? A - I could swear that skyscraper wasn't there yesterday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 13, 2016 Report Share Posted August 13, 2016 A - I could swear that skyscraper wasn't there yesterday. Q: That was a really impressive splat sound you made, Spider-Man. Now would you mind scraping yourself off my office window? A: I don't think the Olympics give out gold medals for Competitive Jackassery. But if they did, you'd qualify after what you just pulled. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
death tribble Posted August 13, 2016 Report Share Posted August 13, 2016 A: I don't think the Olympics give out gold medals for Competitive Jackassery. But if they did, you'd qualify after what you just pulled. Q. What did Sergei Ivanov say to President Putin after he was dismissed ? A: We're bad guys, it's what we do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 13, 2016 Report Share Posted August 13, 2016 A: We're bad guys, it's what we do. Q: Why on Earth would you take puppies away from orphans!? A: I believe it's called 'sodium poisonate'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted August 13, 2016 Report Share Posted August 13, 2016 A: I believe it's called 'sodium poisonate'. Q: What common substance is most likely to have an absorption band structure similar to francium pertechnetiate? A: That's too unstable for words. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 13, 2016 Report Share Posted August 13, 2016 A: That's too unstable for words. Q: You haven't changed the message on that rickety church welcoming sign in over two months! What is it exactly you're afraid of? A: Zero to Eternal Damnation in 39.2 seconds! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted August 13, 2016 Report Share Posted August 13, 2016 A: Zero to Eternal Damnation in 39.2 seconds! Q: What's your goal as producer of the new TV reality series, Survivor: Bangkok Brothel? A: We have to keep up with the Internet somehow! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
death tribble Posted August 13, 2016 Report Share Posted August 13, 2016 A: we have to keep up with the Internet somehow ! Q: Why are your journalists taking to hot air balloons Mr Murdoch ? A: Puddin' ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted August 15, 2016 Report Share Posted August 15, 2016 A: we have to keep up with the Internet somehow ! Q: Why are your journalists taking to hot air balloons Mr Murdoch ? A: Puddin' ! Q: This is the most important mission that you can undertake. Can you at least tell me what is in the package? A: I am back with the legally obtained illegal goods. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 15, 2016 Report Share Posted August 15, 2016 A: I am back with the legally obtained illegal goods. Q: How was your trip to Komiket, and have you got the doujinshi I asked for? A: This is not what I would have wanted the Sunday Brunch Buffet at a furry con to look like. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted August 17, 2016 Report Share Posted August 17, 2016 A: This is not what I would have wanted the Sunday Brunch Buffet at a furry con to look like. Q: Which would you prefer, sir, the Roadkill Mouse, the Roadkill Mousse, the Roadkill Moose, or the Squirrel Girl Pie? A: Hamster Ham is better than Ghoul Goulash. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 17, 2016 Report Share Posted August 17, 2016 A: Hamster Ham is better than Ghoul Goulash. Q - That's the tiniest ham I've ever seen! Haven't you got anything else? A - And we can fly from here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 17, 2016 Report Share Posted August 17, 2016 A - And we can fly from here. Q: I know we're going home to meet your parents, Clark, but how does taking me to the roof of the tallest building in Metropolis help us do it? A: When they said "Superman", they weren't kidding, if you know what I mean.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnnyAppleseed098 Posted August 17, 2016 Report Share Posted August 17, 2016 A: When they said "Superman", they weren't kidding, if you know what I mean.... Q: So you are telling me that man is smart, strong, and a linguist? A: Several sources have confirmed this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 18, 2016 Report Share Posted August 18, 2016 A: Several sources have confirmed this. Q: So that Michael Phelps is a pretty good swimmer, huh? A: Nicole never bothered me anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 18, 2016 Report Share Posted August 18, 2016 A: Nicole never bothered me anyway. Q: Why did you get a restraining order just on Paris? A: No, you can't get a restraining order against a TV show, tempting though that may be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted August 20, 2016 Report Share Posted August 20, 2016 Q: Why did you get a restraining order just on Paris? A: No, you can't get a restraining order against a TV show, tempting though that may be. Q: Why are you having this problem with Wheel of Fortune? A: Our judge in this case: Living Tribunal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 22, 2016 Report Share Posted August 22, 2016 A: Our judge in this case: Living Tribunal. Q: We won the appeal! Aren't you glad we won't be heard by a dead judge this time? A: You need to pay your air bill! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 22, 2016 Report Share Posted August 22, 2016 A: You need to pay your air bill! Q - Mr. Heinlein, why am I suffocating?! A - Anything free is worth what you pay for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 25, 2016 Report Share Posted August 25, 2016 A - Anything free is worth what you pay for it. Q: Why don't we hear much about shareware anymore? A: Your children are garbage until they have proven otherwise. And I won't give them the chance to! Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 25, 2016 Report Share Posted August 25, 2016 A: Your children are garbage until they have proven otherwise. And I won't give them the chance to! Q - Oscar the Grouch has children?! A - He's a Sesame Street mind in a Mythbusters world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted August 26, 2016 Report Share Posted August 26, 2016 A - He's a Sesame Street mind in a Mythbusters world. Q: How's that classics major doing in the Modern Physics course? A: Cheap shot. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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