Michael Hopcroft Posted August 26, 2016 Report Share Posted August 26, 2016 A: Cheap shot. Q: What is it when they sell you a gulp of whisky for a quarter? A: In the real world, T-Rex isn't as big as you think it is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted August 27, 2016 Report Share Posted August 27, 2016 Q: What is it when they sell you a gulp of whisky for a quarter? A: In the real world, T-Rex isn't as big as you think it is. Q: What is this creature that is the size of a poodle? A: I am from the antihumor board. You are coming with me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 27, 2016 Report Share Posted August 27, 2016 A: I am from the antihumor board. You are coming with me. A: You don't like my jokes about positrons? Q: Remind me again, why are we getting married? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted August 27, 2016 Report Share Posted August 27, 2016 Q: Remind me again, why are we getting married? Q:: Aren't you glad the war's going to be over, Princess? A: If that's what his bite does, I'd hate to hear his bark! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted September 8, 2016 Report Share Posted September 8, 2016 A: If that's what his bite does, I'd hate to hear his bark! Q - When he bites, it's accompanied by the sound of ten thousand slipping fan belts. A - You're one smart cookie! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted September 8, 2016 Report Share Posted September 8, 2016 A - You're one smart cookie! Q: How me get degree from Harvard? A: I think you're just mad 'cause you're dead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted September 8, 2016 Report Share Posted September 8, 2016 A: I think you're just mad 'cause you're dead. Q: (Insane gibbering laughter) A: Translated, that means, "It's too late for hand sanitizer." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted September 9, 2016 Report Share Posted September 9, 2016 Q: (Insane gibbering laughter) A: Translated, that means, "It's too late for hand sanitizer." Q: I need someone who can speak Draconic. What does this sign say? A: The Ditto Bar: where we do the same as everyone else - only just as good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted September 9, 2016 Report Share Posted September 9, 2016 A: The Ditto Bar: where we do the same as everyone else - only just as good. Q: I'm looking for the Fast Food Chain of alcohol. Got any ideas? A: And this is why we wait to sober up before we play football. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted September 12, 2016 Report Share Posted September 12, 2016 A: And this is why we wait to sober up before we play football. Q: That cheerleader slapped you for Illegal Use of the Hands, didn't she? A: I've tried every magic word that I know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted September 12, 2016 Report Share Posted September 12, 2016 A: I've tried every magic word that I know. Q: Haven't you gotten rid of Mephistopheles by now? A: You can find all the greatest bargains at Faust's! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted September 13, 2016 Report Share Posted September 13, 2016 A: You can find all the greatest bargains at Faust's!Q: Got your fingernail pen and bottle of blood? A: Low easy terms for the next million years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted September 13, 2016 Report Share Posted September 13, 2016 A: Low easy terms for the next million years. Q: What do dinosaurs look for in a car loan? A: Made from brontosaurus, baby, not moo-cow! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted September 14, 2016 Report Share Posted September 14, 2016 A: Made from brontosaurus, baby, not moo-cow! Q: Why is this leather jerkin so bloody expensive? A: I'm pretty sure ankylosaurs weren't involved in that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted September 14, 2016 Report Share Posted September 14, 2016 A: I'm pretty sure ankylosaurs weren't involved in that. Q: I got a theory that mammals' lower leg structures came about from repeated multiple fractures inflicted by dinosaurs, and eventually they just decided to go with the flow! How else would there be such a mishmash of tarsals, metatarsals, and so on? A: I don't think Smilodon was excessively cheerful, either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted September 14, 2016 Report Share Posted September 14, 2016 A: I don't think Smilodon was excessively cheerful, either. Q: So according to your theory, Doctor Flatbush, Mammoths are extinct not because of human predation, but because the entire species committed mass suicide on a single day in 10,427 BCE? A: Like all truly catastrophic events, it happened on a Thursday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted September 23, 2016 Report Share Posted September 23, 2016 Q: So according to your theory, Doctor Flatbush, Mammoths are extinct not because of human predation, but because the entire species committed mass suicide on a single day in 10,427 BCE? A: Like all truly catastrophic events, it happened on a Thursday. Q: Just, exactly, when did the Sun ignite? A: Soyalent Berry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted September 24, 2016 Report Share Posted September 24, 2016 A: Soyalent Berry. Q: What's the hot new energy drink folks are dying to try? A: Of course this drink is made from All Natural ingredients! Arsenic is natural! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted September 26, 2016 Report Share Posted September 26, 2016 A: Of course this drink is made from All Natural ingredients! Arsenic is natural! Q: I'm, like, totally fed up with all your toxic, artificial beverages and all their poisonous additives! Don't you have anything, like, totally natural? A: That's a mistake you'll only make once. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnnyAppleseed098 Posted September 26, 2016 Report Share Posted September 26, 2016 A: That's a mistake you'll only make once. Q: Did I ever may an err by leaving my stock money in Blockbuster? A: Blockbuster wasn't the only failure then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted September 27, 2016 Report Share Posted September 27, 2016 A: Blockbuster wasn't the only failure then. Q: Dang, I can;t find a Blockbuster anywhere! Siri, where is the nearest Hollywood Video? A: We should have known having Siri moderate the debates was a bad idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted October 4, 2016 Report Share Posted October 4, 2016 Q: Dang, I can;t find a Blockbuster anywhere! Siri, where is the nearest Hollywood Video? A: We should have known having Siri moderate the debates was a bad idea. Q: Why is the moderator always attempting to respond with directives? A: Use the quantum inverse polarizer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted October 4, 2016 Report Share Posted October 4, 2016 A: Use the quantum inverse polarizer. Q: How are you so sure we're in a pulp sci-fi alternate universe with a low-budget script and cheesy special effects? A: Harry Potter and the Quart of Old Overcoat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted October 4, 2016 Report Share Posted October 4, 2016 A: Harry Potter and the Quart of Old Overcoat. Q: There's an evil wizard with two cans of Thunderbird out there! How do we fight that? A: He made me an offer I couldn't NOT refuse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted October 4, 2016 Report Share Posted October 4, 2016 A: He made me an offer I couldn't NOT refuse. Q: Why did you put a brick in your purse, Ms. Buzzi? A: Why are you lying bleeding on the floor like that? You're the one who told me to sock it to you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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