Pariah Posted November 24, 2013 Report Share Posted November 24, 2013 A: When you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle 'em with BS. Q - How do most of Cancer's students apparently think they're going to pass his class? A - It's operating at 113% efficiency. That can't be good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted November 24, 2013 Report Share Posted November 24, 2013 Q: What's that flashing light on the ship's Fusion Plant for? A: In space, no one can hear you violently puke your guts out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 24, 2013 Report Share Posted November 24, 2013 A: In space, no one can hear you violently puke your guts out. Q: Why don't they let the cosmonauts bring vodka to the ISS? A: The Duck is looking particularly scrawny this week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted November 24, 2013 Report Share Posted November 24, 2013 A: The Duck is looking particularly scrawny this week. Q: Should we give him some of the solution for Dr Banner? A: The cornucopia is humming. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted November 25, 2013 Report Share Posted November 25, 2013 Q: People, people! We go on stage in 5 minutes and what the hell is that horrible sound? A: Uh oh. I think we need another Timmy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted November 25, 2013 Report Share Posted November 25, 2013 A: Uh oh. I think we need another Timmy! Q: Boss! Boss! The moat-monster took the bait, but the dynamite didn't go off and it's back again! What now? A: MOMMMMM! I did it last time! It's Cindy's turn! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted November 25, 2013 Report Share Posted November 25, 2013 Q: Okay, who's ready to be The Dark Lord's bride? A: Your lack of empathy is truly frightening at times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 25, 2013 Report Share Posted November 25, 2013 A: Uh oh. I think we need another Timmy! Q: Gee, Lassie's taking a long time on her coffee break. Can someone check on her? A: Your lack of empathy is truly frightening at times. Q: You know, I could really use a new blanket. There's one over there. Surely the guy sleeping under it doesn't really need it -- it's only ten degrees out tonight! Mind if I just take it? A: Smile down upon your son, who's busy with his money games, his women and his guns. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted November 26, 2013 Report Share Posted November 26, 2013 Q: Has anyone seen a blonde-haired blue eyed toddler? I hope he's not playing Scarface again.... A: I can't say I'd recommend that course of action without a lot of gravy to go with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 27, 2013 Report Share Posted November 27, 2013 Q: Has anyone seen a blonde-haired blue eyed toddler? I hope he's not playing Scarface again.... A: I can't say I'd recommend that course of action without a lot of gravy to go with it. Q: I couldn't find a turkey anywhere. Mind if I go cook a Turk? A: Ah, that's where I left the jolly, candy-like History Eraser Button! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted November 28, 2013 Report Share Posted November 28, 2013 Q: Why are you chasing the Easter Bunny with a colonoscopy set? A: That is just so wrong on so many levels. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 28, 2013 Report Share Posted November 28, 2013 A: That is just so wrong on so many levels. Q - I've just finished a new supplement for Fantasy Hero. I'm calling it "Return to the Tomb of Horrors". Wanna play? A - If I hear that song one more time, I'm going to rupture my own eardrums. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted November 28, 2013 Report Share Posted November 28, 2013 Q: What do you mean you don't want to sing "Grandma got ran over by a reindeer?" A: No. More. Pumpkin. Pie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 28, 2013 Report Share Posted November 28, 2013 A: No. More. Pumpkin. Pie. Q - We've got fifteen more pumpkin pies left. Are you sure I can't convince you to take another piece? A - Frankly, my dear, I don't want a ham. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted November 28, 2013 Report Share Posted November 28, 2013 Q: Since we did bird today, can we do pig for x-mas? A: That is the most disturbing Thankgiving Day Parade float in the history of EVER! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 28, 2013 Report Share Posted November 28, 2013 Q - We've got fifteen more pumpkin pies left. Are you sure I can't convince you to take another piece? A - Frankly, my dear, I don't want a ham. Ah! I knew you weren't really Devil Bunny! A: That is the most disturbing Thankgiving Day Parade float in the history of EVER! Q: Mommy, why does Santa Claus have a barber pole sticking out of his chest? A: It should be noted at this time that I did not tell you that throwing live turkeys out of a helicopter from two thousand feet was a good idea. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 29, 2013 Report Share Posted November 29, 2013 A: It should be noted at this time that I did not tell you that throwing live turkeys out of a helicopter from two thousand feet was a good idea. Q - Did you really think turkeys could fly?! A - Mary had a little lamb, with mint jelly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 29, 2013 Report Share Posted November 29, 2013 A - Mary had a little lamb, with mint jelly. Q: What makes you think your new date is from New Zealand? A: It's the most expensive item on the menu, and thoroughly inedible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted November 30, 2013 Report Share Posted November 30, 2013 Q: Hmmm. How's the fillet of Sole? A: I'm going to drop it down the Wallace's chimney. Vengeance will be mine! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 30, 2013 Report Share Posted November 30, 2013 A: I'm going to drop it down the Wallace's chimney. Vengeance will be mine! Q - Preston, where are you going with that bomb? A - Not that kind of cheese. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted November 30, 2013 Report Share Posted November 30, 2013 Q: What are you sprinkling on Ted's pizza, parmesan? And didn't he put Krazy Glue on your toilet seat last week? A: It only takes 5 minutes, a cup of boiling water, and a rabid badger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 30, 2013 Report Share Posted November 30, 2013 A: It only takes 5 minutes, a cup of boiling water, and a rabid badger. Q: You're really making Mouse Soup for lunch? A: Our shop has no RAM. No EWE either. No sheep of any kind! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 30, 2013 Report Share Posted November 30, 2013 A: Our shop has no RAM. No EWE either. No sheep of any kind! Q - I know we had wool rationing, but now there's sheep rationing, too? A - Baking Bread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted November 30, 2013 Report Share Posted November 30, 2013 A - Baking Bread. Q: There are a bunch of villagers rioting. what is the best way that we should handle them? A: Demon's Run. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 30, 2013 Report Share Posted November 30, 2013 A: Demon's Run. Q - What's the matter with these infernal stockings? A - I think we've discovered why the rum's always gone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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