Cancer Posted October 6, 2013 Report Share Posted October 6, 2013 A - Do the right thing for once. Q: "NO LEFT TURN" on every corner? What is this? A: Mutiny on the Bounty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted October 6, 2013 Report Share Posted October 6, 2013 A: Mutiny on the Bounty. Q: what do you call it when your paper towels go on strike? A: If I could be, for just one little hour, cute in a stupid-ass way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted October 7, 2013 Report Share Posted October 7, 2013 A: If I could be, for just one little hour, cute in a stupid-ass way. Q: See, even Thanos was cute as a baby. A: Great galloping codfish of galligrey. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted October 7, 2013 Report Share Posted October 7, 2013 A: Great galloping codfish of galligrey. Q: What do you really expect to catch on this ice-fishing trip, Doctor? A: Obviously you are only pretending to be invisible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted October 9, 2013 Report Share Posted October 9, 2013 A: Obviously you are only pretending to be invisible. Q - Up for a night of wild romance, Reed? A - I did everything you told me to do! Twice! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted October 9, 2013 Report Share Posted October 9, 2013 A - I did everything you told me to do! Twice! Q: This spaghetti sauce is horrible! Didn't you pay any attention at all in my cooking class? A: It's people like you that make people like me want to join the Rebel Alliance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted October 9, 2013 Report Share Posted October 9, 2013 A: It's people like you that make people like me want to join the Rebel Alliance. Q: Does anyone have anything to say about Grand Admiral Thrawn? A: Galactus getting tickled. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted October 12, 2013 Report Share Posted October 12, 2013 A: Galactus getting tickled. Q - What's thst supermassive x-ray source all about? A - The Fresno Incident. I don't want to talk about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted October 12, 2013 Report Share Posted October 12, 2013 A - The Fresno Incident. I don't want to talk about it. Q: Do you have any spots on your service record, Agent Smith? A: Nobody wins American Idol this year, assuming there is any justice in the world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted October 13, 2013 Report Share Posted October 13, 2013 A: Nobody wins American Idol this year, assuming there is any justice in the world. Q: Why are there police in the American Idol stages? A: predictably unpredictable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted October 13, 2013 Report Share Posted October 13, 2013 A: predictably unpredictable.Q: What did you think of Professor Scheisskopf's lecture on deterministic chaos? A: Three men on and two men out and you cannot handle pressure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted October 13, 2013 Report Share Posted October 13, 2013 A: Three men on and two men out and you cannot handle pressure. Q: Name something nobody has told Mariano Rivera in his entire life. A: I would appreciate it if you would only use that baseball bat for its intended purpose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted October 13, 2013 Report Share Posted October 13, 2013 A: predictably unpredictable. Q - Hey Cancer, how did that last Quantum Mechanics exam turn out? A - You can't afford it, I'm afraid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted October 13, 2013 Report Share Posted October 13, 2013 A - You can't afford it, I'm afraid. Q: Hello? I'm from the Pentagon. How much do you want for that pencil? A: Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were the Taxpayer. Never mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted October 15, 2013 Report Share Posted October 15, 2013 A: Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were the Taxpayer. Never mind. Q: What is a phrase that os not in the government's lexicon? A: Utau, come on down for Price is Right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted October 17, 2013 Report Share Posted October 17, 2013 A: Utau, come on down for Price is Right. Q: So, Nyan-Cat, what's playing on Meme Anachronism Theatre tonight? A: No, this is the train from Rashneeshpuram to Molepolole via Ailinglaplap. You need a different train of thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted October 18, 2013 Report Share Posted October 18, 2013 A: No, this is the train from Rashneeshpuram to Molepolole via Ailinglaplap. You need a different train of thought. Q: You mean this isn't the Hitchens-Dawkins Express? A: No, if you went crazy I would not still call you Superman. In fact,I don't call you Superman now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted October 18, 2013 Report Share Posted October 18, 2013 A: No, if you went crazy I would not still call you Superman. In fact,I don't call you Superman now. Q: So, Dave Lister, what is your Halloween costume going to be this year? A: A teddy bear in the Adromeda Galaxy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted October 19, 2013 Report Share Posted October 19, 2013 A: A teddy bear in the Adromeda Galaxy. Q: What is the crowning achievement of the North Pole's space program? A: The true meaning of Christmas is to watch me open presents! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted October 19, 2013 Report Share Posted October 19, 2013 A: The true meaning of Christmas is to watch me open presents! Q - It's only October. It's not even Halloween yet. Are we really talking about Christmas already? A - Third down and 7.65 meters to go! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted October 19, 2013 Report Share Posted October 19, 2013 A - Third down and 7.65 meters to go! Q: How do you know your fundraising for your 300-inch telescope project is in deep, deep trouble? A: Been there. Done that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted October 19, 2013 Report Share Posted October 19, 2013 A: Been there. Done that. Q: Coming to the witch-burning, Goodwife Sally? A: And so, with sinning cloyed, has died each Murgatroyd. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted October 23, 2013 Report Share Posted October 23, 2013 A: And so, with sinning cloyed, has died each Murgatroyd. Q: Are you quoting Shakespaere again? A: And that's why cats have thirteen whiskers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted October 23, 2013 Report Share Posted October 23, 2013 Q: Are you quoting Shakespaere again? No. I'm quoting W.S. Gilbert, actually, from the opening of Ruddigore. A: And that's why cats have thirteen whiskers. Q: You mean Randolph Carter works at the animal shelter now? A: Exit, screaming and panicking and running for my life, stage left. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted October 25, 2013 Report Share Posted October 25, 2013 A: Exit, screaming and panicking and running for my life, stage left. Q: Is this zombie apocalypse horde approaching from the right? A: The planet has run out of fuel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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