BlueCloud2k2 Posted November 4, 2013 Report Share Posted November 4, 2013 Q: What do you think about combining Survivor with American Idol and The Walking Dead? A: If I've told you once I've told you a thousand times - NO! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 4, 2013 Report Share Posted November 4, 2013 A: If I've told you once I've told you a thousand times - NO! Q: Mommy, can I press the jolly, candy-like History Eraser Button? PLEEASE? A: An endothermic quadruped, carnivorous by nature. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted November 5, 2013 Report Share Posted November 5, 2013 A: An endothermic quadruped, carnivorous by nature. Q: So you claimed to have discovered some strange praying mantis? What makes it so different? A: A revolutionary new adhesive - it sticks to everything except what you want it to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted November 5, 2013 Report Share Posted November 5, 2013 A: A revolutionary new adhesive - it sticks to everything except what you want it to. Q: Why are you so surrounded by red tape? A: It's one of the i-th roots of i. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 6, 2013 Report Share Posted November 6, 2013 A: It's one of the i-th roots of i. Q: So you can subdivide and duplicate yourself using higher mathematics? A: I think I still prefer the old way of reproducing, thank you very much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted November 7, 2013 Report Share Posted November 7, 2013 A: I think I still prefer the old way of reproducing, thank you very much. Q: ewww....isn't that terribly old-fashioned and messy? A: "Central Processor damaged, self-destruct sequence initiated." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 7, 2013 Report Share Posted November 7, 2013 A: "Central Processor damaged, self-destruct sequence initiated." Q: What did your PC say when you tried to install Windows 8? A: Even Siri thinks you're a jerk. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted November 8, 2013 Report Share Posted November 8, 2013 Q: Why won't my iPhone give me directions to the nearest singles bar? A: I'm sorry but we don't stock that anymore, not since the FDA banned it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted November 8, 2013 Report Share Posted November 8, 2013 A: I'm sorry but we don't stock that anymore, not since the FDA banned it. Q: What happened to half the grocery store? A. Body Oil, a peacock feather, and a bucket of six siders. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted November 9, 2013 Report Share Posted November 9, 2013 A. Body Oil, a peacock feather, and a bucket of six siders. Q: What's required for an R-rated Galactic Champions session in a vomitorium? A: Drive-by squicking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted November 9, 2013 Report Share Posted November 9, 2013 Q: Why do I feel suddenly feel the need to take a shower? A: I guess you really can teach an old dog new tricks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 9, 2013 Report Share Posted November 9, 2013 A: I guess you really can teach an old dog new tricks. Q - I've seen plenty of dogs play dead before, but I've never seen one actually come back from the dead! A - Even his psychiatrist should be in an institution. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted November 9, 2013 Report Share Posted November 9, 2013 A - Even his psychiatrist should be in an institution. Q: Did he say that he was getting treatment from a Dr. Veritas? A: Thirty two Sherman tanks and a box of Bisquick mix with a sonic screwdriver. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted November 10, 2013 Report Share Posted November 10, 2013 Q: What was it that The Doctor asked for? A: He did it! *points at Pariah* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 10, 2013 Report Share Posted November 10, 2013 A: He did it! *points at Pariah* Q - Someone just fired the President, the Vice President, Congress, and the Supreme Court, dissolved the Republican and Democratic parties, and implemented a rule that anyone who runs and/or votes for political office has to prove they've read the Constitution at least once? A - But I'm not bitter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted November 10, 2013 Report Share Posted November 10, 2013 A - But I'm not bitter. Q: I have a swimming pool full of rye, five drums of vermouth, a bucket of maraschino cherries, and I'm going to squeeze out your vital essence for the bitters! What do you think of that? A: You're not Dr. Manhattan, either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted November 10, 2013 Report Share Posted November 10, 2013 Q: I understand you not letting Pariah pretend to be a villain to save the world, why won't you let me? I just want to drop a few teenie-tiny rock on the world's capitols! *whines* A: I guess that's why Rorschach doesn't bathe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 11, 2013 Report Share Posted November 11, 2013 A: I guess that's why Rorschach doesn't bathe. Q: That isn't really a mask, is it? A: Personal foul -- failure to shower! Half the distance to the goal! Automatic first down! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted November 11, 2013 Report Share Posted November 11, 2013 Q: What did the football coach tell Rorschach as a kid when he tried out for the team? A: That was still not a good reason to kick him in the family jewels! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted November 12, 2013 Report Share Posted November 12, 2013 A: That was still not a good reason to kick him in the family jewels! Q: Did that fight involve http://www.ask.com/wiki/Pig-Pen?qsrc=3044 ? A: We now have the technology. Fridges can be ovens. You do not need to waste space with multiple items in the kitchen. It is all possible is Frozen Heat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 12, 2013 Report Share Posted November 12, 2013 A: We now have the technology. Fridges can be ovens. You do not need to waste space with multiple items in the kitchen. It is all possible is Frozen Heat. Q:You realize of course the ice cream is now on fire? A: I know a sure-fire way to keep you from aging, but I'm pretty sure you won't like it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted November 12, 2013 Report Share Posted November 12, 2013 Q: Why do you smell like embalming fluid? A: Lies, vicious lies! I never had relations with that woman! Or that horse for that matter! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted November 13, 2013 Report Share Posted November 13, 2013 A: Lies, vicious lies! I never had relations with that woman! Or that horse for that matter! Q: Who let Clinton-Chiron into the room? A: Galacticus hungry! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 13, 2013 Report Share Posted November 13, 2013 A: Galacticus hungry! Q: I haven't figured out how to hide the entire planet yet, Ben. Why do you ask? A: And this is why you don't give a complete set of vintage yo-yos to a flock of flamingos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted November 13, 2013 Report Share Posted November 13, 2013 Q: What did you learn from watching Fantasia 2000? A: Okay, so maybe I do give a damn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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