Michael Hopcroft Posted November 19, 2013 Report Share Posted November 19, 2013 A: Plastique pants. Not plants, pants. Q: You mean we SHOULDN'T hit him in the coccyx with a two-by-four? Why ever not? A: I know I can't stop the music, but God in His Heaven do I want to! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted November 19, 2013 Report Share Posted November 19, 2013 A: I know I can't stop the music, but God in His Heaven do I want to! Q: Here you are at Disneyland, locked in it's a small world! How do you feel? A: Habanero nougat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted November 19, 2013 Report Share Posted November 19, 2013 Q: What's the new flavor from Ben & Jerry's called again? A: And this is why Dr. Destroyer doesn't have a perky sidekick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted November 20, 2013 Report Share Posted November 20, 2013 A: And this is why Dr. Destroyer doesn't have a perky sidekick. Q: So printing the sidekiick applications in klingon wasn't a good idea, huh? A: My sonic screwdriver is better than yours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 20, 2013 Report Share Posted November 20, 2013 A: My sonic screwdriver is better than yours. Q: When Time Lords need to use euphemisms, what does it sound like? A: If I ever get out of here, thought of giving it all away to a registered charity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted November 20, 2013 Report Share Posted November 20, 2013 A: If I ever get out of here, thought of giving it all away to a registered charity. Q: Assuming this massive antiviral/antibiotic cocktail fixes the fifty-odd diseases you have, what do you want to do first if you live? A: I know Charity. She's a chemist. Packs a hell of an azide group. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 20, 2013 Report Share Posted November 20, 2013 A: I know Charity. She's a chemist. Packs a hell of an azide group. Q - The Charity I know would never hang out with those O-chem nerds. A - I have no idea why he's not in an institution yet. Cancer 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted November 20, 2013 Report Share Posted November 20, 2013 Q: Has anyone else noted BlueCloud2k2 talks about himself in the third person at random? A: I don't care who you are - that's gotta hurt! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 20, 2013 Report Share Posted November 20, 2013 A: I don't care who you are - that's gotta hurt! Q: What made you decide kicking me in the groin was a good idea? Don't you know I'm Superman? A: Given that we live in a superhero universe where magic and science both work, every conspiracy theory is true, and the laws of physics are merely suggestions, I don't see how you expect to make a living as a psychiatrist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted November 20, 2013 Report Share Posted November 20, 2013 A: Given that we live in a superhero universe where magic and science both work, every conspiracy theory is true, and the laws of physics are merely suggestions, I don't see how you expect to make a living as a psychiatrist. Q: Dr. Feelgood to the supers, that's me! I've prescribed Thorazine for Thor, Supeudol for Superman, cyclazocine for Cyclops, Strattera for Dr. Strange, Antabuse for Ant-Man, Galantamine for Galactus, and Fosaprepitant to Foxbat! YOU! You in the lime-green spandex! What's your problem? I've got something for everyone, no matter what's got you down! A: Actually, I think appetite supressants would work better for that case. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 21, 2013 Report Share Posted November 21, 2013 A: Actually, I think appetite supressants would work better for that case. Q - Matter-Eater-Lad is on Prozac? A - That's the dumbest supervillain code name I ever heard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted November 21, 2013 Report Share Posted November 21, 2013 A - That's the dumbest supervillain code name I ever heard. Q: What do you mean you do not like Fuzzy-Twinklepants? A: The Manifesto of Achilles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 21, 2013 Report Share Posted November 21, 2013 A: The Manifesto of Achilles. Q: The first item on your platform is "Heel Guards for All"? Who's your candidate, anyway? A: You would think that would disqualify him from serving in the House of Representatives, but you would clearly be mistaken. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted November 21, 2013 Report Share Posted November 21, 2013 Q: How did Foxbat get elected to the house? He has a criminal record! A: I hear it's amazing when the famous purple stuffed worm in flap-jaw space with the tuning fork does a raw blink on Hara-kiri Rock. I need scissors! 61! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 21, 2013 Report Share Posted November 21, 2013 A: I hear it's amazing when the famous purple stuffed worm in flap-jaw space with the tuning fork does a raw blink on Hara-kiri Rock. I need scissors! 61! Q: Why is untreated psychosis so debilitating for a film critic? A: This particular chimpanzee happens to be utterly insane, and that was how I could tell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted November 21, 2013 Report Share Posted November 21, 2013 A: This particular chimpanzee happens to be utterly insane, and that was how I could tell. Q: Why is that chimpanzee having an argument with himself? A: Darleks meeting Galacticus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 22, 2013 Report Share Posted November 22, 2013 A: Darleks meeting Galacticus. Q: Yes, Mr. Editor, thank you for reading my submission. But what makes you think I'm terrified of the Copyright Police? A: I don't care that you filed the serial numbers off. That's still my dog. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 22, 2013 Report Share Posted November 22, 2013 A: I don't care that you filed the serial numbers off. That's still my dog. Q - I'm sorry, Wendolene, but this isn't your cyber-dog. I've had him for ages. A - That was a bit thick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted November 23, 2013 Report Share Posted November 23, 2013 A - That was a bit thick. Q: Did we just get through a two mile thick wall? A: No, no, just the crust on Grandma's Thanksgiving pumpkin pie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted November 23, 2013 Report Share Posted November 23, 2013 Q: Did you put arsenic in all of the thanksgiving dishes this year?A: The sign did say "Beware of Turkey." But did you listen? Noooooooo.... You had to go and prove you are such a big shot! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 23, 2013 Report Share Posted November 23, 2013 A: The sign did say "Beware of Turkey." But did you listen? Noooooooo.... You had to go and prove you are such a big shot! Q: I've been locked in the Istanbul jail! Can you get me out? A: You know, it's times like this that make me glad aliens haven't really visited us after all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted November 23, 2013 Report Share Posted November 23, 2013 A: You know, it's times like this that make me glad aliens haven't really visited us after all. Q: With all our poverty, slavery, missiles, wealth inequalities, food distribution problems, is there anything good going on? A: The pumpkin went "gobble, gobble." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted November 24, 2013 Report Share Posted November 24, 2013 A: The pumpkin went "gobble, gobble." Q: You're voting to label food with GMOs? Why? A: Now that's what I call "Frankenfood"! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 24, 2013 Report Share Posted November 24, 2013 A: Now that's what I call "Frankenfood"! Q - Count Chocula and Boo Berry are both made with GMO wheat? A - If we're lucky, we'll all sleep right through it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCloud2k2 Posted November 24, 2013 Report Share Posted November 24, 2013 Q: Is it true that Frankenberry, Count Chocula and Boo Berry are on the Rampage? What should we do? A: When you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle 'em with BS. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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