Michael Hopcroft Posted March 3, 2017 Report Share Posted March 3, 2017 A: I wouldn't f*** her with my worst enemy's hectocotyli. Q: Why are you stopping us from sacrificing this girl to Cthulhu? A: Give us some credit! At least we don;t torture them first! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted March 3, 2017 Report Share Posted March 3, 2017 A: Give us some credit! At least we don;t torture them first!Q: You're teaching these kids Bessel functions? A: Aaaah, but afterward .... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 3, 2017 Report Share Posted March 3, 2017 A: Aaaah, but afterward .... Q: You're trying to teach a group of cheerleaders Bessel functions? That's got to be frustrating. A: And I was never here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted March 3, 2017 Report Share Posted March 3, 2017 A: And I was never here. Q: So, Mr. Secretary, you're already disavowing any knowledge of my actions before I actually do anything? A: You will self-destruct in five seconds. Good luck, Jim. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted March 5, 2017 Report Share Posted March 5, 2017 A: You will self-destruct in five seconds. Good luck, Jim. Q: So what happens when we Secret Penguin Television Top Operatives receive our General Order 66? A: That seems somehow unrewarding after so much build-up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 5, 2017 Report Share Posted March 5, 2017 A: That seems somehow unrewarding after so much build-up. Q - It was his sled? A - I told you to use the green apples, did I not? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted March 5, 2017 Report Share Posted March 5, 2017 A - I told you to use the green apples, did I not? Q: Sorry you don't like my pie. Let he have a -- GAK! This tastes like something you feed a horse! What did I put in this thing. A: Every horse I have ever encountered in my life was a herbivore, so naturally I assumed this one would be too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 5, 2017 Report Share Posted March 5, 2017 A: Every horse I have ever encountered in my life was a herbivore, so naturally I assumed this one would be too. Q: This is Amber. How did you not know that Julian's Hell-horse would try to eat you alive? A: It's a coconut tree, obviously. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted March 6, 2017 Report Share Posted March 6, 2017 A: It's a coconut tree, obviously. Q: This lime tree is growing out of some different tree. What kind, can you tell? A: Now you drink them both together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 6, 2017 Report Share Posted March 6, 2017 A: Now you drink them both together. Q: Did you know that arsenic is quite soluble in a solution of hemlock? A: You had to have known that was a bad idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted March 6, 2017 Report Share Posted March 6, 2017 Q: Did you know that arsenic is quite soluble in a solution of hemlock? A: You had to have known that was a bad idea. Q: What made you think that picking on Galactus would be a a universe of laughs? A: The planet just sneezed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 6, 2017 Report Share Posted March 6, 2017 A: The planet just sneezed. Q - An entire world covered in ragweed? Really? A - You should have chosen the green one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted March 6, 2017 Report Share Posted March 6, 2017 A - You should have chosen the green one. Q: What is some spectacularly bad dating advice from James T. Kirk? A: Every time I wish for children, I find myself getting a kitten instead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted March 8, 2017 Report Share Posted March 8, 2017 A: Every time I wish for children, I find myself getting a kitten instead. Q: OK, tell me why you're failing your Pediatric Necromancy coursework? A: Smilodon kittens!! Max cuteness!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted March 8, 2017 Report Share Posted March 8, 2017 A: Smilodon kittens!! Max cuteness!! QL What were the last things we ever heard from Sid the Sloth? A: Of all the creatures in the universe you wanted to breed for their meat and skin, you had to choose these! Bet you're sorry now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted March 9, 2017 Report Share Posted March 9, 2017 QL What were the last things we ever heard from Sid the Sloth? A: Of all the creatures in the universe you wanted to breed for their meat and skin, you had to choose these! Bet you're sorry now! Q: What would make you decide to raise the Both Hog? A: I thought that the vehicle could use some fresh anticoolent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted March 9, 2017 Report Share Posted March 9, 2017 A: I thought that the vehicle could use some fresh anticoolent. Q: You set fire to the Batmobile? A: Would you like to say a few words to our live TV newsfeed, Captain Has No Concept of the Vowel? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 14, 2017 Report Share Posted March 14, 2017 A: Would you like to say a few words to our live TV newsfeed, Captain Has No Concept of the Vowel? Q: Stp mkng fn f m dsblty, y pc f sht! A: A year from now, we'll all look back on this moment and realize that we had no idea how good we had it. Cancer 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted March 14, 2017 Report Share Posted March 14, 2017 A: A year from now, we'll all look back on this moment and realize that we had no idea how good we had it. Q: Welcome to prison! What do you think of your ten-year sentence? A: You just won't take a hint, will you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 14, 2017 Report Share Posted March 14, 2017 A: You just won't take a hint, will you? Q - Will you please STOP HITTING ME WITH THAT MALLET?! A - I prefer the nitroglycerin, if it's all the same to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted March 15, 2017 Report Share Posted March 15, 2017 A - I prefer the nitroglycerin, if it's all the same to you. Q: Chemical explosives or exotic physical instabilities? A: No charge for extra thorium. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted March 15, 2017 Report Share Posted March 15, 2017 Q: Chemical explosives or exotic physical instabilities? A: No charge for extra thorium. Q: Now that I have this giant killer robot, what shall I use for the fuel? A: We have now reached negative infinity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted March 15, 2017 Report Share Posted March 15, 2017 A: We have now reached negative infinity. Q - What are the President's approval ratings looking like these days? A - That's all the reason I need to invade Greenland! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted March 15, 2017 Report Share Posted March 15, 2017 A - That's all the reason I need to invade Greenland! Q: Haven't you heard? War is good for the economy! It makes defense contractors rich! A: I can't stand it when anyone is happier than I am. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted March 18, 2017 Report Share Posted March 18, 2017 Q: Haven't you heard? War is good for the economy! It makes defense contractors rich! A: I can't stand it when anyone is happier than I am. Q: Lobo, what is the primary thing that drives you? A: Smoked Ghost. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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