Michael Hopcroft Posted April 13, 2017 Report Share Posted April 13, 2017 A - If only you could actually fly.... Q: OK, Honey, I'm ready for the convention. Don't I look great in my Superman suit? A: So you're Superman? Nietzche would say otherwise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted April 18, 2017 Report Share Posted April 18, 2017 A: So you're Superman? Nietzche would say otherwise. Q: What is it with philosophers and kryptonite? A: All that is green is not Martian. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted April 18, 2017 Report Share Posted April 18, 2017 Q: What is it with philosophers and kryptonite? A: All that is green is not Martian. Q: So J'onn, why do you study the plants like you do? A: That is a solution looking for a problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted April 18, 2017 Report Share Posted April 18, 2017 A: That is a solution looking for a problem. Q: How do you like my zombie-dissolving acid? A: If I were you, I'd hate me too. In fact, I'm me and I still hate me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted April 18, 2017 Report Share Posted April 18, 2017 A: If I were you, I'd hate me too. In fact, I'm me and I still hate me. Q - It's not that I hate you, it's just that I think you have a crippling self-loathing problem. A - Enough with the melancholy, it's time to have some fun! Break out the explosives! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted April 19, 2017 Report Share Posted April 19, 2017 A - Enough with the melancholy, it's time to have some fun! Break out the explosives! Q: What were they thinking at Warner when they made Suicide Squad? a: Yes, I can make a case for having Warner Brothers finance your movie, but first I'll have to clear it with Yakko. Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted April 20, 2017 Report Share Posted April 20, 2017 a: Yes, I can make a case for having Warner Brothers finance your movie, but first I'll have to clear it with Yakko. Q: Brain Stem? Brain Stem? A: What we do every night! Pariah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted April 20, 2017 Report Share Posted April 20, 2017 A: What we do every night! Q: What is this thing I keep hearing about called "sleep"? A: Flavor Beyond Repair. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted April 20, 2017 Report Share Posted April 20, 2017 A: Flavor Beyond Repair. Q: Szechuan stir-fried Peeps with eggplant in hot garlic sauce? A: Up, down, strange, charm, bottom, and top. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted April 20, 2017 Report Share Posted April 20, 2017 A: Up, down, strange, charm, bottom, and top. Q: What are *Eccentrica Gallumbits' favorite positions? *The triple-breasted whore of Eroticon Six, of course. A: That's not the first time I've seen a physics textbook quote Douglas Adams, incidentally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted April 20, 2017 Report Share Posted April 20, 2017 A: That's not the first time I've seen a physics textbook quote Douglas Adams, incidentally. Q: Why are the sample Quantum Mechanics problems presented accompanied by big. friendly letters that say "Don't Panic!"? A: It's awful dark out all of a sudden. Cold too. I wonder what's wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted April 21, 2017 Report Share Posted April 21, 2017 Q: Why are the sample Quantum Mechanics problems presented accompanied by big. friendly letters that say "Don't Panic!"? A: It's awful dark out all of a sudden. Cold too. I wonder what's wrong. Q: What is this thing called "night"? A: Peace has been declared - we need to do something about it right away! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted April 22, 2017 Report Share Posted April 22, 2017 A: Peace has been declared - we need to do something about it right away! Q: What's happened to our news ratings? A: And we're wearing our grandfather's clothes, 'cause we hear that Up North it gets cold. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 A: And we're wearing our grandfather's clothes, 'cause we hear that Up North it gets cold. Q: Welcome, dignitaries from Guayana! Er ... is that your native ceremonial garb? A: No, you n00b, it's a .985 caliber three-shot personal-scaled antimatter cannon! Gimme your wallet, phone, belt, shoes, car keys, and savings account PIN! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 A: No, you n00b, it's a .985 caliber three-shot personal-scaled antimatter cannon! Gimme your wallet, phone, belt, shoes, car keys, and savings account PIN! Q: Is that a banana in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?\ A: His Great-Grandfather was King for thirty seconds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted April 25, 2017 Report Share Posted April 25, 2017 Q: Is that a banana in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?\ A: His Great-Grandfather was King for thirty seconds. Q: By what right does he think that he he able to rule as King of Inverted? A: These lambs are doing the slaughtering. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted April 26, 2017 Report Share Posted April 26, 2017 A: These lambs are doing the slaughtering. Q: Do all of these nuns have automatic weapons?! A: I hear them call my name in night-time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted May 1, 2017 Report Share Posted May 1, 2017 A: I hear them call my name in night-time. Q: Why do you sleep with a shotgun across your chest? A: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, welcome to Congress! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 1, 2017 Report Share Posted May 1, 2017 A: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, welcome to Congress! Q: You promised them you would quit after only three terms? But that was seven terms ago! A: Twenty-three tonnes of potassium benzoate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted May 1, 2017 Report Share Posted May 1, 2017 A: Twenty-three tonnes of potassium benzoate. Q: Saints preserve us! What can be done now? A: It ain't frigid unless it involves cryogens. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted May 1, 2017 Report Share Posted May 1, 2017 A: It ain't frigid unless it involves cryogens. Q: Is your marriage still going downhill? A: The girl I gave up Lent for is the girl that Heaven meant for me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 2, 2017 Report Share Posted May 2, 2017 A: The girl I gave up Lent for is the girl that Heaven meant for me! Q - What do you mean, "God told me to stop being Catholic"? A - It's not the worst I've ever had. I was in the ICU for three weeks once. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted May 2, 2017 Report Share Posted May 2, 2017 A - It's not the worst I've ever had. I was in the ICU for three weeks once. Q: You seem to be choking, Monsieur Ego. Bad escargot? A: I have a hard time believing you're a Saint, especially after I caught you doing that with the chambermaid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted May 4, 2017 Report Share Posted May 4, 2017 A: I have a hard time believing you're a Saint, especially after I caught you doing that with the chambermaid. Q: Of course I'm a Saint! I play linebacker for New Orleans! A: I swear he was a baby just last week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcus Impudite Posted May 4, 2017 Report Share Posted May 4, 2017 Q: Of course I'm a Saint! I play linebacker for New Orleans! A: I swear he was a baby just last week. Q: Er... Why is a grown man walking around in diapers with a pacifier in his mouth? A: Not as radioactive as a bottle of Nuka Cola, but unfortunately not quite as refreshing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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