Lawnmower Boy

Have you tasted the Saffron Shower?

In breaking news: mental illness called "being crazy" because it leads to people doing crazy things.
 
 
Holy Crap, I almost got suckered into talking about race relations in America. Out of here, dudes.

That can't be a model of a university bureaucracy. It hasn't knocked down an old building and put two new ones in its place yet.

Incompetence in business? that's unpossible! The market makes us efficient! 
 
(Our AM and DM are  touring stores today. Sometimes I'd love to travel with him:
DM: "So. You know that there's a stream of running water on the floor of your deli here, right?"
SM: "I guess that must have just started." (Nearby deli employees do the Eye-Roll-of-Complete-Agreement.)
AM: "Ugh! Bugs! Get them off me! Get them off me!"
SM: "Don't worry, they're under control. We get the janitor to vacuum them up every night."
[bakery manager, watching what's going on, gives the "Don't come over here yet, we haven't managed to hide the caved-in floor yet" signal.]
 
---I might be exaggerating here. I think we reported the cave-in...

The May 1945 number of Aviation looks back 25 years to 1919, when a man jumps out of a plane with his hands tied to test a new automatic parachute opening system. Science!
 
A lot of history seems to have happened when there was no competent adult supervision around.

The May 1945 number of Aviation looks back 25 years to 1919, when a man jumps out of a plane with his hands tied to test a new automatic parachute opening system. Science!
 
A lot of history seems to have happened when there was no competent adult supervision around.

Taylor Swift is tickling who, now?
 
Perverts.

I tried embracing the witchblade as an ally. Or a woman dressed up as Witchblade. My case comes up next month.

I don't think I have mentioned it here.   I have found a new job, I start training on Monday the 8th of June.   Please send good wishes and prayers, my confidence is not what it once was, the last couple years have taken chainsaws to it.  

You're dead to me.

I'm not saying that "Lord Liaden" is actually a paid online spinster for certain sinister entities who want to suppress discoveries about Australian prehistory. I'm also not saying that he isn't. 

While we wait - and because you demanded it! - a few more Grooisms.  In the end, the match I was hoping for, Black Adam vs. Groo, turned out to be against Ms. Martian.  But imho, it would have been even more hilarious the other way and some of the reasons I came up with to vote for our favorite cheese dip gourmand are below.
You have to admit, a lot more men look like Groo than Black Adam.  He’s a Groo of the people!  Black Adam rules a small, fictional country.  Groo has single-handedly destroyed several. Despite all the steroids and nutritional supplements Black Adam is obviously taking, Groo still has bigger biceps. The Rock is preparing to play Black Adam.  To date, no actor has been found worthy to play Groo. Khandaq is literally full of mendicants. Black Adam’s hairline -– receding.  Groo’s hairline – advancing!

How so?  I mean, aside from all the uninformed internet snark.

Yes, that cartoon looks stupid.

Well... If I were doing it, I'd start with Australia's ancient past. Australia is where the Valdorian Age happened. (If you've got Valdorian Age, you'll notice that you've got to take the map, hold it upside down, squint,  move some places, put a sea in the central desert and change names and descriptions around to make it clear that the ancient Valdorians are the ancestors of modern Aboriginal population. But, hey, it's a medieval map, so it's probably wrong, and the Shimmering Sea is artificial, so it's not impossible. 
 
Oh, and the Tower of the First and Last Sunset is in Tasmania, Takofanes' grave is in New Guinea (only, somehow, it got moved to Oklahoma.) No problem with that, though, cuz who ever goes to Tasmania? Or Oklahoma?
 
These things aren't completely mysterious,  so now I'm going to put a Valdorian Age archaeological park in downtown Melbourne.
 
Now I'm going to put three superheroes in Melbourne, in excess of the "expected" population of Australian supers --that is, they're there for a reason. Assault has already given us one reason: a "White Event" which creates a lot of superheroes. It's a Valdorian Age event!
 
Now I'm going to send a mysterious, cloned supervillain to Melbourne to kill those superheroes. Who made Taipan? What's his deal? If he's from the obvious retail outlet, he's a Teleios product. What's Teleios's connection with the Valdorian Age? Actually, the big question with Teleios is his mysterious patron. What's that person's deal with the Valdorian Age? Or Australia? Is he, say, an ancient Drindrish dragon riding sorceror with a black, soul-sucking sword? It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

Well... If I were doing it, I'd start with Australia's ancient past. Australia is where the Valdorian Age happened. (If you've got Valdorian Age, you'll notice that you've got to take the map, hold it upside down, squint,  move some places, put a sea in the central desert and change names and descriptions around to make it clear that the ancient Valdorians are the ancestors of modern Aboriginal population. But, hey, it's a medieval map, so it's probably wrong, and the Shimmering Sea is artificial, so it's not impossible. 
 
Oh, and the Tower of the First and Last Sunset is in Tasmania, Takofanes' grave is in New Guinea (only, somehow, it got moved to Oklahoma.) No problem with that, though, cuz who ever goes to Tasmania? Or Oklahoma?
 
These things aren't completely mysterious,  so now I'm going to put a Valdorian Age archaeological park in downtown Melbourne.
 
Now I'm going to put three superheroes in Melbourne, in excess of the "expected" population of Australian supers --that is, they're there for a reason. Assault has already given us one reason: a "White Event" which creates a lot of superheroes. It's a Valdorian Age event!
 
Now I'm going to send a mysterious, cloned supervillain to Melbourne to kill those superheroes. Who made Taipan? What's his deal? If he's from the obvious retail outlet, he's a Teleios product. What's Teleios's connection with the Valdorian Age? Actually, the big question with Teleios is his mysterious patron. What's that person's deal with the Valdorian Age? Or Australia? Is he, say, an ancient Drindrish dragon riding sorceror with a black, soul-sucking sword? It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

It was the costume, right?  It was too bright.  Or too dark.  Or too dated, or too revealing.

I certainly don't disagree with your point that among the innocent and law-abiding population, females are probably more likely to be victimized by violence than males. But I don't think that's the only, or maybe even the main, reason Susie feels so unsafe just walking down the street, compared to her brother.
 
I've lived in a neighborhood in which it was impossible for a female - regardless of age, demeanor, state of dress, or any other factor - to walk a block without hearing at least one obscene proposition. There is a lot of behavior well short of actual violence, that can make someone feel unsafe. It's not just that being victimized is a real possibility for the female walking along minding her own business, it's that she is intermittently and randomly reminded of that possibility - and not just by the media, but by random males any one of whom, as far as she knows, might actually be planning to hurt her.
 
If I were walking along and someone following me kept saying "You know, there could be a sniper on one of those roofs taking aim at us right now" repeatedly, I would probably start feeling unsafe too.
 
To circle back around, that females working in technical fields report feeling a disproportionate need to prove themselves may not be indisputable proof that their male colleagues do demand greater efforts or accomplishments of them before granting them any respect, but I do consider it an indication or clue that such is the case, especially if no one is suggesting any other possible cause for that perception. And even if there are other causes behind that perception, those causes no doubt would still constitute very real problems - just as my hypothetical companion with the sniper obsession would be a real problem, even if the sniper isn't.
 
Lucius Alexander
 
Does the palindromedary feel pressured to conform to a stereotypical palindromedarian role?

"So," The Bear said, "You come to my cave for the secret of Ursine steel , do you?"
 
"Such is my quest," The human said earnestly, hope in his voice but it was a hope he dared not hold onto too tightly. The Bears had guarded their secrets closely from humans, and with good reason. None of them had forgiven the actions of the human King Colbert the First and that mad monarch's reign had tainted human bear relations to this day.
 
The bear scratched his chin, "Not far from here, you will find a greedy and selfish ranger! A woodland warrior who has ever vexed me."
 
The human nodded slowly. He had heard of this fellow, a man by the name of Smith, "I know of him. It would be easier to defeat him with ursine steel," He said hopefully.
 
The bear laughed, "No little human, I do not wish him killed. Bring me Smith's treasure, bring me, his picnic basket."
 
The human winced. This would be no easy achievement. The Bear was setting him to a task that the bear himself hadn't achieved. He should have known. Any animal with the secret to Ursine Steel had to be smarter than the average bear.

Wow, you had twice as many as I had to start the season. And a trophy, to boot. 
So if you're looking for sympathy, try the dictionary. You'll find it between snot and syphilis.

I will be sure to tell President Obama to put on the bright yellow zoot suit. Because obviously bright primary colors are the only way to be inspiring in appearance. ()
 
La Rose.

Look, us casual fans aren't that into the minute details of a sport, your infield fly ball, your two line passes, your who-scored-more-points-against-who. We tend to focus on more important things, like which team colours go with our complexions, and who everybody else likes right now. (Go Manchester United, w00t!) 
 
What I'm saying is, as far as i'm concerned, that's exactly what you did, so don't bother me with all those dumb facts. 

Florida Man Attempts To Cash $368 Billion Check

And poor Jeff bought the blank check from someone named Tito.  Coincidence?  I think not!