BoloOfEarth

Q: How do you milk a sheep?
 
A: Offer a slightly upgraded version of the same phone and charge $700 for it.

How do you catch a unique rabbit?


 
 
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
 
 
 

Not all supervillains (and supervillainesses) are dark, brooding, tortured souls.  Some of them are just out to have fun.  One such supervillainess is Lash.
 
Sure, she's got a whip that can cut through hardened steel (at least, when she extends the monomolecular lash).  More often, she extends a thicker, electrified metallic lash that shocks most people senseless.  But she doesn't use her whip to slice and dice her opponents, or even cause them lasting harm.  Nor does she seek to do property damage, destroy companies, or any of a dozen truly hurtful things many bad guys and gals do.  She just likes to steal (always from wealthy people or highly successful businesses and banks who can afford to take the occasional loss), play her own unique brand of "tag" with superheroes, and (hopefully) flounce off to rob another day.
 
Her partner-in-crime is Play-Deaux, a tiny (fist-sized) amorphous alien she rescued from a Duchess Industries research lab.  Members of Play-Deaux's race are symbiotic creatures, contact mentalists able to latch onto a sentient being and either read its mind, alter its sensory inputs, or outright control it.  Play-Deaux is relatively young and still learning to use its powers.  It's also naive about the whole symbiote / host thing and tends to "ride up front" (e.g. on a host's forehead or hand) rather than hiding out of sight under clothing like many of its more careful brethren.

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y... NIGHT!
 
I see a bad moon a-risin'...
 
Waxing gibbous moon vs. waning gibbous moon

If  you guys get nuked, with the radioactive mutants and the atomic zombies and whatnot, you better understand that we'll be building a wall on the southern border, and you're going to have to pay for it. 

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y... NIGHT!
 
I see a bad moon a-risin'...
 
Waxing gibbous moon vs. waning gibbous moon

Not all supervillains (and supervillainesses) are dark, brooding, tortured souls.  Some of them are just out to have fun.  One such supervillainess is Lash.
 
Sure, she's got a whip that can cut through hardened steel (at least, when she extends the monomolecular lash).  More often, she extends a thicker, electrified metallic lash that shocks most people senseless.  But she doesn't use her whip to slice and dice her opponents, or even cause them lasting harm.  Nor does she seek to do property damage, destroy companies, or any of a dozen truly hurtful things many bad guys and gals do.  She just likes to steal (always from wealthy people or highly successful businesses and banks who can afford to take the occasional loss), play her own unique brand of "tag" with superheroes, and (hopefully) flounce off to rob another day.
 
Her partner-in-crime is Play-Deaux, a tiny (fist-sized) amorphous alien she rescued from a Duchess Industries research lab.  Members of Play-Deaux's race are symbiotic creatures, contact mentalists able to latch onto a sentient being and either read its mind, alter its sensory inputs, or outright control it.  Play-Deaux is relatively young and still learning to use its powers.  It's also naive about the whole symbiote / host thing and tends to "ride up front" (e.g. on a host's forehead or hand) rather than hiding out of sight under clothing like many of its more careful brethren.

Crime was soon to run rampant on the streets of New Osaka. The police were fighting a losing battle between the supervillians and  Crime League. Then she appeared. Fast as a wink, agile as a cat, and with a whip that could bring down the most armored of villain. New Osaka has a fighting chance and that chance is Catlash Lass

It was pushed through by Democrats led by President Obama.
 
It gives medical care to lazy, undeserving people*.
 
It forces taxes on the wealthy.**
 
It tries to make young people, who will always be healthy, and will live forever, buy unnecessary healthcare.***
 
It impinges on the rights of for-profit corporations to make religiously-inspired decisions for their workers.****
 
It kicked their dog.*****
 
 
 
 
 
 
*Defined as "that guy over there, but my benefits are earned and shouldn't be taken away."
 
**"Have a Koch and a smile" tax plan, or more locally, "kiss Sheldon's ring".
 
***Learning that we're only immortal/For a limited time
 
****Great news! Closely-held corporations can still discriminate!
 
*****No dogs were harmed in the making of this post.

"Space is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist, but that's just peanuts to space."

I've always felt that if someone wants to park in handicapped zones that badly, the logical thing to do would be to make them qualify for it. I understand kneecaps are easy to damage.

He is a hepcat superhero wizard Hepcat. His incantations are beat poetie. His spells have a 50's-60's flavor to them. And criminals fear his finger snapping. 
He recently aquired the Cloak of Pandemonium, which has a portal to Hell inside it. The demons must obey Hepcat, but his cloak is slowly corrupting him to the side of evil.

The Ideal Government:
The values of the Federation.
The business acumen of the Ferengi.
The honor of the Klingons.
The subtlety of the Romulans.
 
Our Current Government:
The values of the Romulans.
The business acumen of the Federation.
The honor of the Ferengi.
The subtlety of the Klingons.

Red & green.  Not only would Purple and Yellow lights confuse drivers, but the Red Green Show had some great stuff.
 
Little Girl Battle!
 
Unicorns vs. Rainbows

In the SyFy adaptation, Irma passes over a wildlife sanctuary before making landfall, and people are pelted with rabid squirrels.  "Squirrelicane" should do boffo numbers.

It all started out normal enough.  Well, as normal as my life gets.
 
The knock disturbed my lunch -- well, the liquid part of it anyway -- but I'm not so rich I can just turn away clients, so I set down my beer and called out, "C'mon in!"
 
The dame was a knockout, dressed to the nines and with a rock on her hand probably worth more than my house.  She looked shocked at my appearance, so I ran a hand over my hair just in case it was messed up.  Since her expression didn't change, I figured it was probably because my hair not only covered my head, but also my face, hands, arms, chest -- basically, all of me. 
 
That's what you get when you're a human-badger hybrid.  Long story short, don't go pissing off the local DEMON goons.  They've got weird ways to make your life miserable.
 
"Are you... Joe Batcherton?"  she asked hesitantly.  She looked around, as if there was another PI hiding in my small office.  "I'm looking for a private investigator to locate my husband.  He's been missing since Monday."

I nodded.  "Yep, I'm Joe Batcherton.  Most people call me Black Badger; you can probably guess why."  I stood but didn't offer my hand -- she didn't seem the hand-shaking sort -- and gestured toward the client chair.  "Why don't you take a load off, ma'am, and tell me what's going on."  I sat back down, my old swivel chair squeaking in protest, and pulled out a cigar.  Probably should have asked her if she minded me smoking -- but then again, Black Badger don't care.
 
Looking back, if I'd known then what I know now... heck, I still probably would have taken the case.  It's not every day you get your car blown up by the Russian mob, get arrested by the feds, escape from jail, spend a weekend hiding out in a bordello, then trash a drug smuggling ring to restore your good name.  It was a heck of a week, and I even got paid.  Yep, good times.

It all started out normal enough.  Well, as normal as my life gets.
 
The knock disturbed my lunch -- well, the liquid part of it anyway -- but I'm not so rich I can just turn away clients, so I set down my beer and called out, "C'mon in!"
 
The dame was a knockout, dressed to the nines and with a rock on her hand probably worth more than my house.  She looked shocked at my appearance, so I ran a hand over my hair just in case it was messed up.  Since her expression didn't change, I figured it was probably because my hair not only covered my head, but also my face, hands, arms, chest -- basically, all of me. 
 
That's what you get when you're a human-badger hybrid.  Long story short, don't go pissing off the local DEMON goons.  They've got weird ways to make your life miserable.
 
"Are you... Joe Batcherton?"  she asked hesitantly.  She looked around, as if there was another PI hiding in my small office.  "I'm looking for a private investigator to locate my husband.  He's been missing since Monday."

I nodded.  "Yep, I'm Joe Batcherton.  Most people call me Black Badger; you can probably guess why."  I stood but didn't offer my hand -- she didn't seem the hand-shaking sort -- and gestured toward the client chair.  "Why don't you take a load off, ma'am, and tell me what's going on."  I sat back down, my old swivel chair squeaking in protest, and pulled out a cigar.  Probably should have asked her if she minded me smoking -- but then again, Black Badger don't care.
 
Looking back, if I'd known then what I know now... heck, I still probably would have taken the case.  It's not every day you get your car blown up by the Russian mob, get arrested by the feds, escape from jail, spend a weekend hiding out in a bordello, then trash a drug smuggling ring to restore your good name.  It was a heck of a week, and I even got paid.  Yep, good times.

Champions - Return to Edge City - Music For Balance And Harmony

QUADRANT, Edge City's premiere (only) team of Superheroes (debatable) check their rolodexs for anybody that might help us figure out what's up with that weird music Howler arranged to have as city-wide entertainment. Fireflash's guidance counsellor puts her in touch with the local college, whose sound engineering students have been looking into it themselves.

Fireflash: Tony Stark's most impressive achievement was creating a new element.
Hero Shrew: Sure, but we're also talking about a guy who built a particle accelerator in his own house, and *stood next to it while it was on*

The sound geeks aren't much help - they have no idea what kind of code might by encoded into the music.

Hero Shrew: What about the frequencies that humans can't hear?
Nerds: That's the funny thing - the output was almost entirely in the standard audible range.
Hero Shrew: Well, I tried.
Flux: Why are you and I evening here?
Hero Shrew: I don't know about you, but I'm helping myself to some of the pizza the nerds have forgotten about while they argued.

They did discover that there were nine different note sets being broadcast over the city, basically in a three-by-three grid that used the cloverleaf pattern of Edge City's unfinished monorail network. At least they ruled out it being some kind of Quake Trigger.

Hero Shrew: Maybe Howler's plan wasn't meant to make sense - we're living in the kind of universe where the Joker thinks he can copyright fish.
GM: You're talking DC, this is Champions. Mind you, this is a universe where aliens tried to cut the Florida peninsula away from the mainland, because somebody painted a dotted line and 'Cut Here' along the border.
Flux: Wait, what?
GM: The Criminal Legion Of Wacky Nonconformists.
Flux: C L O ... oh god.

These were the same guys that filled the Hollywood Bowl with Jello.

GM: But this isn't a CLOWN Caper because then it would make more sense.

It does occur to Hero Shrew to ask whether Howler's powers are mystical in origin, given the magical effect Flux discovered plastered over the city. They aren't - nobody knows where she gets her powers, but she's certainly stolen mystic shit in the past. Flux eventually resorts to contacting Witchcraft, in the remote chance she's not actually stopping a global threat somewhere. And eventually realises, with a facepalm, that the nine zones are actually a Feng Shui grid - a Bag wa map - laid out over the entire city.

Hero Shrew: Can we get in contact with her and apologise?

For example, the sector for Fame and Reputation also has most of Edge City's big-name businesses. Funny that. And the Corporate Circle within the business district itself ALSO reflects the Bag Wa map, to a lesser degree. And the southern end of town is the Front Door, and is the land connection to the rest of the state. Of course, having Marsden in the middle of the map doesn't help.

GM: Yeah - there's a cancer in the middle of the city.

Flux: This is such a weird thing to do.
Hero Shrew: In Southern California?
Flux: And now we've destroyed all the evidence.
GM: 'Hulk Smash! Problem solved.' 'Actually we needed that intact to figure out what what's going on.' 'Hulk sorry.
Fireflash: 'Hulk blue now'
GM: Oh god no, the grey Hulk was bad enough, I don't want to see a blue one.

GM: It's always possible Howler was trying to measure the Feng Shui of the city. Which would put it way outside Howler's area of expertise. She must have been setting this up for somebody else.
Hardlight: Well, we need to find her and ask. And hope she doesn't shoot me in the face again.
GM: It upset her enough the first time, when she thought she'd killed you.

Flux: Let's find an expert. Chinatown might be obvious, if a little racist.

Fireflash: So. Let's Google Chinese Musical Troupes in the area.
GM: You. All. Have. Smartphones! How many times do I need to hit you with that clue bat?
Flux: Something in the back of my head keeps saying 'Pathfinder. You Don't Know Shit.'

Hero Shrew: I'm going to check the supervillain forums and see if they have anything on Feng Shui.
GM: Not much
Hardlight: Only Dr. Lin Wu.
Hero Shrew: Yeah, should probably hope it isn't him.

He's the one having an ongoing argument with the Chinese military and government, about who should be the next Emperor. He says him. The Chinese government disagrees. A few new threads do start on the forums, while Hero Shrew is surfing - Feng Shui sabotage of Edge City! But's it all pure speculation. Perhaps there's a connection between Hexagrams and the music?

Hero Shrew: If you want to have an argument about octaves and musical scales, we can always go back and talk to the music geeks.

GM: Actually, there is such a thing as i Ching music.

But the Feng Shui expert we consult does agree that the Bag Wa map for Edge City IS a good match for traditional Feng Shui, not the debased Southern California variety, and is a little worried because Edge City was a planned conurbation. If the big fusion reactor had actually worked as intended, the city would be thriving on a mystic level as well as economic, because its placement was ideal.

Of course, the city had to lay off most of the planners when everything went tits up, so tracking the planners down might be tricky. On the other hand, Wing Kong Constructions were heavily involved in the early plans, and it's entirely likely that they wanted to ensure their own success.

Flux: So, how do we proceed from here? Walk in? Pretend to be somebody else?
Hardlight: Pretend, hell, if this is all Feng Shui I want to incorporate it into the power network.
GM: Yeah, you're forgetting that your team includes a weirdness magnet with an interest in infrastructure. And you're the one that told him his energy source is mystic in nature.

GM: Feng Shui is a big big deal in Edge City, and nobody knew. Or at least it wasn't public knowledge.
Flux: Time to open the Tablet of Khedjamith.

GM: Wing Kong Constructions still have most of the infrastructure maintenance contracts.
Hero Shrew: And are they using jackhammers as acupuncture needles?
GM: Well, properly timed roadworks DO change the flow of chi through the city.

Flux: You've just told me that the energy flow of the city is almost perfectly aligned!
GM: And it was all by accident! It helps that your GM is a student of the occult. I get to use Feng Shui and it's not shoehorned in! Of course the Taoist is delighted!

Flux: Hopefully it's not all a plan to open the hellmouth.
Hero Shrew: Where's that Helgate Institute again?
Flux: SON OF a BITCH.

Hero Shrew: It could all be innocent, despite involving Howler. It's not in Wing Kong's interest to harm the city.
GM: Howler does have perfect pitch and sound powers. That's a very limited skill set.

Hero Shrew: Well, we should still check. I'll go in as your bodyguard. I just have to look stupid, which isn't difficult. I'll try not to scratch too much.

Flux will sneak in while Hardlight and Hero Shrew go in openly to see if it's all legit. One problem - there won't be A secret room, because where the secret would be depends on what kind of secret it is.

GM: Feng Shui and the I Ching seem to be very important to this company.

GM: I will make you this promise - there's no deathless Chinese sorcerer at the heart of all this.

That the Wing Kong building has an internal octagonal well/atrium is suddenly making a lot more sense now, too. Hardlight (in his civilian ID) and Hero Shrew (as Lowell's bodyguard) make an appointment to see one of the original planners.

GM: Do you have any reputation or fame?
Hero Shrew: Well, I have a *reputation*

Alex Yu is a bit surprised to see us, anyway.

Alex Yu: So, what can Wing Kong do for Lowelltech?
Hardlight: Well you know we're installing a communications network for the city?
Alex Yu: Yes, I read it all in the business blogs. You and Centurytech, amirite? Your coverage is pretty good, apart from the grey area around Marsden. Between Dysprosium Dawn and the Sanity Liberation Front, the city is getting a bit annoyed.

Eventually Hardlight gets around to the matter at hand - collaborating with Wing Kong to ensure the data network is properly in tune with the energy flows of the city. Yu seems happy to discuss it, cheerfully admits that Feng Shui has been an important part of Wing Kong since they were first established, and suggests a good neighborhood to put the data monitoring services in. Elsewhere, Flux is trying to sneak into the building, and track down any suspicious magical energies. Not easy, since the entire 88-floor building is magical. On the other hand if he just wears a good suit, carries a clipboard, and pretends to wave a card in front of the reader a few seconds after somebody else goes through the security door, he can wander about pretty much at will. Nice to see that real world security failures apply just as easily in a superhero universe.

On the other hand, he can only use his Cyberpathy on a computer if the computer is switched on, since he bought it as a form of Telepathy. And it's still a magical spell.

GM: 'By the Hoary Hosts of Haggoth! By the spirits of Jobs and Gates!'
Flux: If there's anybody else in the room I'll just tell them it's a rubber chicken moment.
GM: Sadly there isn't - but if you get too loud somebody in the other room will wonder what all the noise is. 'Divulge Thy Secrets or Thou Will Never Receive Thy Cheeseburgers!'

GM: The computer systems have noticed that they're being hacked - but since you're using Cyberpathy the source of the attack is making no sense.

What he's finding is that EVERYTHING in the Wing Kong archives is related to Feng Shui somehow. He at least prunes it down to a list of some 30 individuals that were actually involved in the design of the city, back in the day.

After we leave and meet up.

Hero Shrew: So, you're our data monkey, what did you find out?
Flux: .... data monkey. Here, take this phone book, I'm going to bed.

Hardlight: We're up against another brick wall, aren't we?
Hero Shrew: That's because we're not very imaginative.
GM: Well, you are trying to find a particular pebble on a gravel road.
Hardlight: We need to narrow it down to the white ones.
Flux: ... what?
Hardlight: Or black.
Flux: ....
Hero Shrew: He's talking about the colour of the pebbles, not people.
Flux: Ohhhhhhhh.

The shrew suggests running the more likely names past Fireflash's FBI contact, in case he or she has been connected to super-villain activity before.

Hero Shrew: It might be prejudicing our investigation though. Hey, I know big words like prejudicing.
Flux: A Moreau knows prejudice. How about that.
Hero Shrew: Hey, I've experienced prejudice. Just don't ask me to spell it.

Hardlight: I'm worried that we've ruined something that was actually good for a city.
Hero Shrew: They DID hire a supervillain for the heavy lifting.

Hardlight: So, how do I get in contact with a supervillain?
Hero Shrew: Facebook?
GM: Going by previous campaigns, saying "Who? Are they they important?" on camera.
Flux: 'Howler says 'My Boobs Aren't Real!' Film at Eleven.
Hardlight: No, that's how I get killed for real.

Fireflash's FBI contact didn't find any known supervillain contacts from our list of names, but cast their net a bit wider and found that one of them vanished off the grid 8 years ago - no death reported, and their accounts have been untouched. One Qui Zhen Kang. And she lives, or lived, in the worst part of Marsden, where each apartment block is so set against all their neighbours that none of the gangs have ever managed to unify them.

Hero Shrew: We'll probably just find out she died eight years ago, and has been eaten by her cats.
Flux: Since you're a Moreau that's a bit creepy. On several levels.

The apartment block is in the heart of the estate, overlooking a plaza area.

Hero Shrew: Everybody remember, we are not a home to Mr Grenfell Tower.
Hardlight: Yeah, let's NOT set the place on fire.

Hardlight: What a sight we make - four superheroes in full gear trudging up the stairs.
GM: The Avengers you ain't.

Voice: Who there?
Hero Shrew: Hello? We need to talk to you?
Voice: I gave down town!
Flux: What?
Hero Shrew: We're not after money, we need to talk to Qui Zhen Kang about Feng Shui and Howler's whole audio engineering of the city thing.
Voice: I don't know any by that name! I've lived here 5 years! I don't know nothing, I ain't heard nothing!
GM: You ARE four superheroes having a shouted conversation and asking for information, in the most gang-infested part of Edge City.

Flux: We need to talk to the building superintendent.
GM: You can usually find the super on the ground floor.
Hero Shrew: Actually, all the supers are on this floor

Super: Yeah, she moved out - didn't put her furniture in storage, either. About the same time that Feng Shui Triad gang vanished? Huh, they called themselves a Triad, not a Tong. And the real Triads never did anything about it. That never occurred to me before.

The Feng He Shui Triad - Wind And Water Triad - have a rather interesting record with the FBI. I.e. Barely any record at all, despite the fact that apparently control four entire suburbs of Edge City, which is practically unheard of. And those suburbs are all in the 'Wealth and Abundance' part of Edge City, going by the Bag Wa map of town.

Flux: That's a big area to search.
Hero Shrew: So, short of flying around all four suburbs looking for a particular Chinese woman... and I can already see exactly how racist that's going to get.

We go to the infobrokers.

Fireflash: I don't think we've pissed them off lately - they might actually talk to us.

GM: Remember that of the four of you, only one of you was unaffected by that Fear aura.
Hero Shrew: Hey, I'm a shrew, we're like that.
Fireflash: Never got your quota of fear.
Hero Shrew: We're like very small dogs, but more so.

Spinneret Infobroker: Since you don't seem to be aware, I'm going to tell you this free - we deal in influence, information, and coin. And I do not mean dollars and cents. Do you understand what I mean?
Fireflash: Unless you mean bitcoin, no.
Infobroker: If you don't know, you don't have any. But you've been of use to us the past, so consider all debts squared.

Scooter has actually heard that the underworld use Krugerrand as hard currency.

Hero Shrew: It's like that movie. You know.
Fireflash: John Wick?
Hero Shrew: Lethal Weapon.
Hardlight: *sighs, and phones his executive assistant* Clarissa?
GM: Scooter doesn't actually know if Edge City gangsters use krugerrand. Just gangsters in general.

Flux: Well, that was a bust.
Fireflash: No, this a bust *goes to flash Flux*
Flux: ... well, she's legal now.
Fireflash: Not yet. *snicker*

Flux: Do we want to ask the Voodoo Crew?
GM: Do you REALLY want to make another deal with them?
Flux: Well, they do deal with major magical threats.
Fireflash: No they don't - they co-OPT major magical threats.
Hero Shrew: Well, we could pass the word along, as a token of respect.
GM: Sure, if you want to kick off a magical war between the Voodoo Crew and a magically active gang that's managed to keep off everybody's radar for the last ten years.

GM: Sorry, got distracted by pictures of the Spinnerets.
Hero Shrew: Hardly surprising.
Flux: Considering how they dress - that's the point.
GM: But they're not supposed to distract the GM! If they're that good, it's campaign over, they win.

Flux sets up some surveillance.

Flux: But I think we're going to have to shake up some druggies.
Hero Shrew: Did you just say 'shake UP'? Well, I can do both. And other stuff. 'What happened to him?' ' He fell up the stairs' ' It's supposed to be down, you're just trying to confuse me!'

At this point we decide to put the problem on the back-burner - Flux's secret cameras will need time to gather the info we need anyway.

Flux: So, lunch?
Hardlight: I know a good shawarma place.
All: ...
GM: We've had this conversation - between Tony Stark and Justin Hammer, which one do you honestly think you're more like?

One result of our surveillance - we spot a deal underway between the Spinnerets and Sovereign Chrome, the Bay Park Industrial gang. The latter gang member completes the deal and leaves on his motorbike.

Flux: Hmm.
GM: Just let him get out of Marsden and mug him - you ARE a vigilante after all.

Hero Shrew: How about we just drive up alongside him, open the side door of the van, and I just lean out and yank him in?
Hardlight: Sounds like a plan!

Hero Shrew: *yoink* Hi there.
Hardlight: Halt citizen! We have ques-
Ganger: My bike!
Hero Shrew: *looks at Hardlight* You were supposed to bubble the bike.
Hardlight: I thought you were dealing with the bike!
Hero Shrew: He's paying for your bike.
Ganger: You have money?
Hero Shrew: eh, rewards and stuff *trying to keep Hardlight's millionaire industrialist civilian ID secret*
Hardlight: What supers don't have money? *failing to conceal the size of his bank account*
Hero Shrew: Well, for a start, Spiderman.
GM: The bike has already caused a traffic accident. You guys don't need a J. Jonah Jameson, the media already consider you a threat to public safety.

GM: Do you even have any questions for him?
Hardlight: Er, um, halt citizen, we, I, er.
GM: Riiiight.
Hardlight: I keep acting like Superman in circumstances where I should by acting like Batman.
Flux: Some of the abilities of Green Lantern, but none of the police powers. Diet Green Lantern.
GM: Diet Mountain Dew Green Lantern. All cat piss, no sugar.

Hardlight scans the ganger and spots the weird coins in his jacket pocket.

Hardlight: Well, what are you using them for?
Ganger: ... *condescendingly* To buy things.
Hero Shrew: We KNOW they're buying stuff with them, Hardlight, we want to know where they're getting them from.
Hardlight: Oh, right. Little help?
Flux: You got yourself into this, you get yourself out.

GM: You're publicly known supervillains. I mean, heroes.
Flux: After this day's work we might need to change career paths.

The coins are odd plastic and metal disks, stamped with chemical symbols matching whatever Rare Earth metal is contained within. They certainly aren't standard currency anywhere we're ever heard of, although each is stamped with weight in Troy ounces and average value of the pure metal.

Fireflash: Can I pay you one dollar for this $1 cerium coin?
Ganger: No?
Fireflash: Can I pay you 10 dollars for it?
Ganger: OK?
Hero Shrew: Now, how are you going to pay for his bike?
Hardlight: OK, what's your bank account?
Ganger: I'm not going to tell you!
Hardlight: Can I see your phone for a minute?
Ganger: I'm not unlocking it for you!
Hardlight: I'm trying to transfer some funds to you!
Ganger: I'm still not unlocking it, you've got him!
Flux: Don't look at me, I'm having nothing to do with this mess.

GM: Besides, real criminals use Bitcoin.

Hardlight: *Sigh* pull over. You will be reimbursed for the damage to your bike, citizen.

Hero Shrew: Did we go back to pick up the bike?
Hardlight: No, I wired the money to Flux, he'll hack it into the guy's account.
Flux: I don't remember this.
Hardlight: I sent you the money!
GM: Did you get a receipt?

We take the weird coin around to find out where it might have come from.

Hellstrom Institute: Shit be whack, yo.

For one thing, the coin isn't plastic - it's a single flawless crystal of sugar. It's possibly connected to the Black Harlequin, who is technologically sophisticated and insane enough to mint coins out of quantum-locked sugar crystals. On the other hand, the coins don't turn into candies, and aren't filled with plutonium, so maybe it isn't Black Harlequin. On the other hand, whatever coins are circulating are going to end up in Dysprosium Dawn's hands, since they're eager to get their hands on any rare earths that they can get, and will be trading furiously to get them.

GM: Next session is going to be fun - if Marsden was a swimming pool, you've just dropped an appropriately sized cherry bomb into it. And it's going to splash all over the city.

I don't know what either one means, so I'll pick Binary because I like the sound of it. 
 
(I kid, I kid.  Of course I know what these mean.  There are 10 kinds of people - those who understand binary, and those who don't.)
 
(P-38) Lightning vs. (GR4) Tornado.

The Stone in her forehead seemed important. And Fan Drawings try to cut out unimportant details.
 
I will not be able to judge because I have a submission myself. My first Idea was "D&D Drow". Then after some time I realised she has no pointy ears. But I have some good idea what made me fail my spot checks for that long
 
Weaver
 
Dolores Muwanga was born into a poor african village. Life was a hardship and one of the few sources of solace were the stories of hte village storyteller. In particular the ones that spoke of Ananasi and the Red Eye Amulett, that transformed a worthy person into Anansis Avatar.
Dolores wanted to help her village, but realities of Africa had eroded the bulk of moral concerns. When she set out to actually find it, she was set on using the powers it for thieving and other petty crimes to support her village. The travel was fraught with danger, but eventually she did found the Red Eye Amulett. And was immediately disapointed.
 
Maybe the stories were exagerated, based on how usefull and powerfull they had seemed in the pre-colonial time.
Maybe the stories were a trick from Anansi himself.
Or maybe her impure intentions lead to a different set being given to her then for a pure hearted person.
In any case, the powers were remotely usefull to becomming a supervillain or superthief: The extra arms she grew were able to secrete a sort of spider thread, but at a very slow pace and low volume - not usefull for sticking someone to a wall in a pinch. While she could weave nets out of it using more or less conventional means, they could be easily broken by superhuman strenght. While they had some sticking properties, they were not nearly enough to carry a person even if the weight was distributed over 6-8 apdendages.
 
However her attempts to weave them into anything usefull, resulted in a number of clothing pieces and thus revealed her true purpose: She became a Superhuman Costume Designer.
While not able to mass produce anything, she can weave rather fast using her 4 extra "arms" as assistance and a lot of practice. Clothing made by her is surprisingly resistant to being ripped. Also it has adherent properties allowing them to "stay in place" even when damaged and this adherence seemed to lack the discomfort or unreliability associated with the old model trick of using lots of double-sided tape.
A unexpected realisation after a the first superhuman tried to transform was that the clothing could copy "skin" powers as well: If worn by a brick, they were at least as resistant as said brick. If worn by a invisible person, they would become invisible as well. If the wearer turned their body into fire, they would not burn.
 
As such, Weaver is a well known Costume Designer und her label "Dreamweaver Clothing".
She can weave costumes that are "extremely outrageous without risking clothing malfunctions". Indeed she usually wears just such a costume to showcase how reliable it can be (one such design is shown above). She does advise her customer to take something a lot less "risque" into combat, as she can not guarantee the adherence of her material in a superhuman fight. Also she does not exactly come cheap, considering that she has to support her family and village. They do however come with privacy of the identity, in case that is wanted. A few choice pieces made for public ID superheroes and the odd Star resulted in her comming into the right circles to start lobbying for more development aid for the African Continent.

Scotland.  If it's not Scottish, it's CRAP!
 
Battle of the Real World Baddies
 
Kim Jong Un (N. Korea) vs. Bashar al-Assad (Syria)

Jack Lagin is a technical genius. So he made a robot to take care of tasks around the house. He built it in the form of an attractive young woman, It worked so well he programed it with tech skills. As a hockey fan he programed it to help him hone his skills. Finally he used it to work on A.I. Then one day he was scanning the newsfeeds, and saw something shocking. His robot was in the streets repairing damage caused by it stopping a bank robber. When it returned home he learned it had decided it wanted to go out into the world to help people and watch hockey games up close. She had built an electrostick and had extendable hockey skates on her boots. She kept it quiet in fear he would dismantle her. Instead he has given Hockeybot his full support

"I was a artificer once. A mage specialising in magical artifacts, bound magic. As artificer items are more powerfull in the hands of a artificer, it does happen that we get called into battle. I had a nemesis once, the necromancer only know as "Kael". We fought many times. Finally I beat him, deep in his cave lair. And then, I died. Not even from the cave collapsing, just simple exhaustion and over-exertion from our battle. Turns out that theory that magic and your lifeforce might be connected might be a solid one.
 
But that was not the end of me, as it should have been. Among the many items I carried, were a few partially finished ones. This little gem in my head was one of them: My Soulstone. As the name implies it saved my soul from going into the afterlife. If there is one. Before you ask: I do not know.
Now because it was a bit experimental, it took me some time to regain consciousnes after death. By that time, my original body had already decomposed.
Now pulling oneself together is never easy. But you would not believe how hard it is if the only material for a body you have is solid rock. It took me I do not know how long to modify enough rock to allow mobility, much less speech. So between being out and having to make myself a new body it was burried some time. Apparently enough that nobod even remembers my nation of origin, much less my nemesis Kael.
 
Of course, being a Necromancer he is back as well and wreaking havoc once more. Apparently some "be able to move while your mortal enemy does" kind of spell. I am not quite sure, Ritual Necromancy is not exactly my area of expertise. So we are fighting again.
And no, I am not going to die in hopes of that "defeating Kael once and for all". I do not trust a thing he says. And I would not bet a piece of lead against this being just a ruse in hopes I kill myself trying to defeat him. Again."
 
Sirianne Thunderstrike was a Artificer mage in a previous age of magic.Then she died. And came back with a body of granite, animated by magic flowing from the soulstone in her "head". Now animating a magically modified stone body is not easy. However her extensive knowlege in the creation of magical items allowed her to streamline the process. The downside is, that she can pretty much not create any new items or use any other form of magic anymore. Also moving the body can exert her magic ability, so she does still tire. So she is stuck with what little survived the cavein.
 
The Goldstaff of Janimakai is one of those items. It allows some basic magical effects, in particular blasts. And it acts as a very effective bludgeon.
Being bereft of her choosen profession - tinkering while creating magical items - but being in a age of technology, she picked up another craft altogether: Mechanic.
While the team vehicle she made seems to have a sliver of her magic and it and seems to perform slighly better with her at the helm, it is largely operating within the laws of non-magical, superhuman physics.
 
She simply goes by the name of Craft nowadays.

Tamra Bardsley got her engineering degree two years ago.  But no one was willing to give her the break she needed to work in her chosen field. "Its a Man's world" she kept hearing and that would grate on her bones...
 
Her father had managed to get her a job working in the mines but he was apprehensive, not sure how well she would be accepted among the crew.  She surprised them with her keen wit and willingness to do any of the dirty jobs, showing remarkable strength for the times it was needed and a clever use of leverage when that wasn't enough.
 
The mine collapse was another problem, she was stuck down at the bottom of the tunnel when it had given way, she and 4 other men were trapped.
 
Not giving into panic as the others were she took a deep breath and plunged further into the mine where light from her headlamp revealed a partially obscured gem.  She reached for it and upon touching it, her mind met that of an alien entity.  In fear she fought mind-to-mind thinking it was going to take over her thoughts and steal her body.
 
The entity was benign though and after some time convinced Tamra that it would help her/them to get out and away.  Tamra knew that they were doomed down here and so she accepted the offer for help.  The alien bid her to place the gem on her forehead and her body took on a metallic hue, her wrench was imbued with some type of Primordial power.  She used this power to tunnel out of the mine and to free both herself and her crew.  There was much rejoicing!
 
She decided to use her new found abilities to aid the causes of goodness and light.  Choosing the name Spelunker as her nom-de-guerre.
 
In her first battle with the villain Utility, he said "What kinda name is Spelunker??"  She replied, "Your going to a deep dark place..." Then knocked him out!