FrankL

I overheard my sons talking the other day. The eldest said, "You should have come with us. I met a man with a wooden leg named Smith."
 
The youngest said, "And what's the name of his other leg?"

I overheard my sons talking the other day. The eldest said, "You should have come with us. I met a man with a wooden leg named Smith."
 
The youngest said, "And what's the name of his other leg?"

Really? I wouldn't place its value over $666K

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

Just what this thread needs: more cowbell. 
 

I gotta say, I was siding with Wells in this last episode. "What more do you need!?" 
 
Giving up his powers to Zoom was beyond stupid. Playing Hamlet for most of this episode, while Zoom (and his minion) ran around terrorizing and murdering people, was even worse. I fast-forwarded through most of the relationship dreck and heartfelt talks between Barry and Joe and Barry and his dad. I. Just. Didn't. Care. This whole plot was just too dumb for me to get invested.
 
The only character who seemed to have a clue--besides Wells--was Zoom. Ain't no flies on him. He saw lightning flaring over Star Labs and he knew IMMEDIATELY what they were up to and ran off to stop them.

Sadly I have had a lot of experience with unemployment. Get into a routine that forces you to get up every morning. If you need to make phone calls you want to catch people before their day gets out of hand. Work your (human) network--of the seven jobs I've had since the eighties, six of them I got through referrals. (The seventh was because I'd put my resume out on all the job sites and a headhunter found me.)
 
And take advantage of your "vacation", but productively. Work out, fix up the house, take a class. You won't have time for any of that once you're starting a new job.
 
And good luck. Remember: you are not your job, you're not how much money you have in the bank, you're not the car you drive, you're not the contents of your wallet, you are not your khakis.

How about some heartwarming news?
 
Judge sentences fellow veteran to 24 hours in jail. Then joins him in the cell to talk about turning his life around.
 
 

How about some heartwarming news?
 
Judge sentences fellow veteran to 24 hours in jail. Then joins him in the cell to talk about turning his life around.
 
 

How about some heartwarming news?
 
Judge sentences fellow veteran to 24 hours in jail. Then joins him in the cell to talk about turning his life around.
 
 

I'm sick and tired of romantic vampires and noble werewolves. I don't want my witches to be hippy Earth lovers. I don't need the creation of my modern Prometheus to be some sort of misunderstood hero. I want my monsters back. I want the very words "Vampire," "Werewolf," "Witch," and "Frankenstein" to send a shiver up the spine of little ones. I don't want to see garish caricatures of my monsters dangling from little strings around Halloween.
 
Another random comment, railing at the over-saturation of what previously used to be horrific but has since become an amusement. Does anybody else remember when a monster movie came out, it was an event? Everybody would talk about it and mostly get it wrong. These days it's more like "Honey, should we watch the cute animated show with the rabbit police officer or go see Noble Vampire III: Undead Lives Matter?" Bah!

How about some heartwarming news?
 
Judge sentences fellow veteran to 24 hours in jail. Then joins him in the cell to talk about turning his life around.
 
 

How about some heartwarming news?
 
Judge sentences fellow veteran to 24 hours in jail. Then joins him in the cell to talk about turning his life around.
 
 

How about some heartwarming news?
 
Judge sentences fellow veteran to 24 hours in jail. Then joins him in the cell to talk about turning his life around.
 
 

How about some heartwarming news?
 
Judge sentences fellow veteran to 24 hours in jail. Then joins him in the cell to talk about turning his life around.
 
 

How about some heartwarming news?
 
Judge sentences fellow veteran to 24 hours in jail. Then joins him in the cell to talk about turning his life around.
 
 

How about some heartwarming news?
 
Judge sentences fellow veteran to 24 hours in jail. Then joins him in the cell to talk about turning his life around.
 
 

"You won't be able to generate thrust or to breathe."
 
"Alex...I don't think you really understand how I fly."
 
"How DO you fly?"
 
"Uh...I'm not actually sure of that myself. All I know is that I'm violating Newtonian physics when I do it. I don't need air to push against. And as for breathing--I can hold my breath for a long, long time. Long enough for sure to [REDACTED] and save the world."

My daughter is a delegate at today's district caucuses. It's about 4PM when I have my son text her about when they'll be home (it's my job to have dinner ready). Her response:
 


KILL ME NOW
 
I PRAY FOR THE SWEET RELEASE OF DEATH
 
WE'RE GOING TO BE HERE FOREVER
 
Nice to see that district caucuses haven't changed in 24 years.
 
Also nice to see that my daughter has *no* future as a politician.

You'll never believe what tkdguy did when he saw THIS!

Me to wife last night: [Our 8yo] and I had to have the racism talk tonight.
 
Wife: Because of the Little House episode? ["Dark Sage," Dr. Baker brings a new doctor to town who is black.]
 
Me: Yeah. He asked me a very pointed question. "Why did that man hate Dr. Ledoux more than he loves his wife?" [A farmer's wife went into premature labor while Doc Baker was away. Dr. Ledoux had to perform an emergency C-Section but the farmer was dead set that "no _______" will touch his wife. Charles punched him. Dr. Ledoux saved their lives.]
 
Wife's [eyes got big from the question he asked]: So you explained it?
 
Me: Yeah, and you realize exactly how stupid and ridiculous racism is when you try to put it in terms an 8yo will understand.

Eight months ago, someone clutched a monkey's paw and said, "Don't let Jeb get the nomination."

Hedy Lamarr. Seriously. Her work in jamming radio controlled torpedoes laid the groundwork for Bluetooth and WiFi.

The supers travel through time in search of the greatest hero of them all (it's rather funny how Hulk is concerned that "the new guy" will take over his niche). They arrive in a small settlement and direct a woman who looks about to go into labor any moment to a nearby inn.
 
My sons are playing Spiderman and Iron Man. One of Spiderman's lines is: "'I will save you from death innocent civilian, but Jesus will save you with God's love.' Yeah, that's a good new battle cry."

Me to wife last night: [Our 8yo] and I had to have the racism talk tonight.
 
Wife: Because of the Little House episode? ["Dark Sage," Dr. Baker brings a new doctor to town who is black.]
 
Me: Yeah. He asked me a very pointed question. "Why did that man hate Dr. Ledoux more than he loves his wife?" [A farmer's wife went into premature labor while Doc Baker was away. Dr. Ledoux had to perform an emergency C-Section but the farmer was dead set that "no _______" will touch his wife. Charles punched him. Dr. Ledoux saved their lives.]
 
Wife's [eyes got big from the question he asked]: So you explained it?
 
Me: Yeah, and you realize exactly how stupid and ridiculous racism is when you try to put it in terms an 8yo will understand.