bubba smith Posted October 29, 2008 Report Share Posted October 29, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... "No wait, he's Manimal! Elfimal!" (that was mine, sorry) thats reppable Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lonewalker Posted October 29, 2008 Report Share Posted October 29, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Power Of Roads outsmarts the GM; Roads: we could move him into the Chancel permanently. They'd be stupid to come after him and we'd know immediately if they did anyways. GM: Crap, I didn't think of that solution. If I had a nickel every time this happened to me... Bloody creative players.... - Lonewalker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Houston GM Posted October 29, 2008 Report Share Posted October 29, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... The PCs are federal agents. They are assisting the Atlanta PD SWAT team with a hostage situation. Ham messed with cellular transmissions so the perps received a "missed call" notification on their cell phone from an unlisted number. When the perps noticed the missed call, three of them congregated and started arguing loudly about the missed call. Ham: "I'm going to call their cell phone again. If they're that upset about missing a call, just imagine how distracted they'll be if they actually get one." After the crisis has been successfully resolved. Darnell: "If anyone claims that I used excessive force, I'll point out to them that I had 144 bullets with me, and I only used one." Clever move! How'd things goes down? Modified so Kirby doesn't have to read non-quote backstory. The scenario is futuristic, and all three agents are cybernetically enhanced. Darnell has wired reflexes (DEX & SPD), Henry has cyberoptics (PER & targeting), and Ham (my character) has radio cyberware (listen to 10K channels simultaneously, decrypt, record, mimic transmissions, etc.) Five gangbangers (the perps) had tried to rob a fancy restaurant at the top of a skyscraper, a silent alarm was triggered, the situation went south, and the perps grabbed a bunch of hostages. The SWAT snipers could only see one perp and none of the hostages. Henry reviewed the security tapes and found where one perp had spoken to a man in a suit (the suit) before entering the restaurant. Henry read the perp's lips, and discovered that the suit had put the perps up to the robbery (probably as a diversion). Ham pinpointed the location of all the cellphones in the restaurant. This gave us a probable location for all the hostages, and the location of two more perps (who were carrying pay-as-you-go phones). Ham decided to send a "missed call" from a privacy blocked number to each pay-as-you-go phone. He was hoping they would assume the call was from the suit and call the suit back. Not only would this provide Ham with a lead as to the suit's identity, but it would also provide voiceprints so he could fake calls from the suit later on. Unfortunately, the perps didn't know the suit's number. In the meantime, negotiations were not going well. The negotiator and the on-scene commander were in favor of going in if we could pinpoint the location of all the perps and hostages. When the perps realized they had missed a call, three of them congregated to discuss it, and quickly began arguing. One of the hostages still had his Bluetooth headset, and Ham used that to communicate with the hostage. This allowed Ham to confirm that all the hostages and the remaining two perps were all in one room. As the quote indicated, Ham called one of the perps' cellphones. They answered, and all three immediately began yelling into the phone. Darnell used the distraction to get to the door of the room where the hostages were held. Darnell stepped in, pointed a gun at each of the (two) perps guarding the hostages, and demanded that they drop their weapons. (One complied, one didn't.) Henry rushed to help Darnell secure those perps, while SWAT took care of the three arguing over the phone. Three perps were shot and wounded; one SWAT officer took a bullet to his body armor; all the hostages were safely rescued. And we have no idea what this was a diversion for.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balabanto Posted October 30, 2008 Report Share Posted October 30, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... The PC's are trying to discover a mystic who is available and can search their proposed base location for haunting, as one of the PC's fears it's haunted. This is a living world, filled with many different player characters, so they try Shih Lin Yuan, one of the world's most ancient sorceresses. Shih Lin's Six Year Old: Johnny's Phone! Amethyst II: May I...speak to Shih Lin please? Six Year Old: Mooooooooooooooom! It's for you! Shih Lin (In Chinese): Johnny, go to your room! (In English) May I help you? Amethyst II: I was wondering if you could come out to Indianapolis and see if our proposed Superhero base location was haunted. Shih Lin: You will address me as Elder Grandmother. (She looks 28) I cannot come, I am recovering from a neck injury. May I recommend Outback? Amethyst II: Do you have a phone number for him? Shih Lin: We do not use phones to contact Outback. I will tell him to meet you at a location of your choosing. Amethyst II: How about the Circle Center downtown? Shih Lin: That's fine. Just wait there in the evening and he'll be there. Amethyst II: Okay. ------------------------------------------------------------------ Shih Lin uses her mystic powers to contact Outback, who is currently in bed with his girlfriend, the vigilante Greyshadow. Greyshadow has...a slight taste in bondage. Outback, looking at the pitcher of water out of which rises a Shih Lin-like shape: Oh, Elder Grandmother! Nice to see you? Shih Lin: Ahp...(Staring at something that her conservative mind has never really dared to process) I need you to go to Indianapolis. There's a group of superheroes out there who needs you to check their prospective base location for hauntings. (Gives Directions) Outback: No problem, I'll put on my things and get going. Shih Lin: Thank you. I'm glad you're willing to help. I need to return to my convalescence now. (Pitcher returns to normal) Greyshadow: Can she...see through that thing? Outback: She can see EVERYTHING through that thing. Greyshadow: Perhaps you could untie me now? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Major Tom Posted October 31, 2008 Report Share Posted October 31, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... The PC's are trying to discover a mystic who is available and can search their proposed base location for haunting, as one of the PC's fears it's haunted. This is a living world, filled with many different player characters, so they try Shih Lin Yuan, one of the world's most ancient sorceresses. Shih Lin's Six Year Old: Johnny's Phone! Amethyst II: May I...speak to Shih Lin please? Six Year Old: Mooooooooooooooom! It's for you! Shih Lin (In Chinese): Johnny, go to your room! (In English) May I help you? Amethyst II: I was wondering if you could come out to Indianapolis and see if our proposed Superhero base location was haunted. Shih Lin: You will address me as Elder Grandmother. (She looks 28) I cannot come, I am recovering from a neck injury. May I recommend Outback? Amethyst II: Do you have a phone number for him? Shih Lin: We do not use phones to contact Outback. I will tell him to meet you at a location of your choosing. Amethyst II: How about the Circle Center downtown? Shih Lin: That's fine. Just wait there in the evening and he'll be there. Amethyst II: Okay. ------------------------------------------------------------------ Shih Lin uses her mystic powers to contact Outback, who is currently in bed with his girlfriend, the vigilante Greyshadow. Greyshadow has...a slight taste in bondage. Outback, looking at the pitcher of water out of which rises a Shih Lin-like shape: Oh, Elder Grandmother! Nice to see you? Shih Lin: Ahp...(Staring at something that her conservative mind has never really dared to process) I need you to go to Indianapolis. There's a group of superheroes out there who needs you to check their prospective base location for hauntings. Outback: No problem, I'll put on my things and get going. Shih Lin: Thank you. I'm glad you're willing to help. I need to return to my convalescence now. (Pitcher returns to normal) Greyshadow: Can she...see through that thing? Outback: She can see EVERYTHING through that thing. Greyshadow: Perhaps you could untie me now? Oooo...somebody was being very knotty. Major Tom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nerdnumber1 Posted October 31, 2008 Report Share Posted October 31, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... The PC's are trying to discover a mystic who is available and can search their proposed base location for haunting, as one of the PC's fears it's haunted. This is a living world, filled with many different player characters, so they try Shih Lin Yuan, one of the world's most ancient sorceresses. Shih Lin's Six Year Old: Johnny's Phone! Amethyst II: May I...speak to Shih Lin please? Six Year Old: Mooooooooooooooom! It's for you! Shih Lin (In Chinese): Johnny, go to your room! (In English) May I help you? Amethyst II: I was wondering if you could come out to Indianapolis and see if our proposed Superhero base location was haunted. Shih Lin: You will address me as Elder Grandmother. (She looks 28) I cannot come, I am recovering from a neck injury. May I recommend Outback? Amethyst II: Do you have a phone number for him? Shih Lin: We do not use phones to contact Outback. I will tell him to meet you at a location of your choosing. Amethyst II: How about the Circle Center downtown? Shih Lin: That's fine. Just wait there in the evening and he'll be there. Amethyst II: Okay. ------------------------------------------------------------------ Shih Lin uses her mystic powers to contact Outback, who is currently in bed with his girlfriend, the vigilante Greyshadow. Greyshadow has...a slight taste in bondage. Outback, looking at the pitcher of water out of which rises a Shih Lin-like shape: Oh, Elder Grandmother! Nice to see you? Shih Lin: Ahp...(Staring at something that her conservative mind has never really dared to process) I need you to go to Indianapolis. There's a group of superheroes out there who needs you to check their prospective base location for hauntings. Outback: No problem, I'll put on my things and get going. Shih Lin: Thank you. I'm glad you're willing to help. I need to return to my convalescence now. (Pitcher returns to normal) Greyshadow: Can she...see through that thing? Outback: She can see EVERYTHING through that thing. Greyshadow: Perhaps you could untie me now? In a d&d-based, diety, play by post game, I had a telepathic, all seeing kobold who had to put up with promiscuous, mamilian party members. For kobolds, mating is a normal part of life, and its purpose is to reproduce and strengthen the tribe. A half-diety/half-fey and daughter of two former characters has taken an undead into her room to "play." My kobold, Svenic, telepathically contacts her. Girl: "Uh, can you see me when you do that? That might be awkward." Svenic: "I see all. I just don't care." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Major Tom Posted October 31, 2008 Report Share Posted October 31, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... In a d&d-based, diety, play by post game, I had a telepathic, all seeing kobold who had to put up with promiscuous, mamilian party members. For kobolds, mating is a normal part of life, and its purpose is to reproduce and strengthen the tribe. A half-diety/half-fey and daughter of two former characters has taken an undead into her room to "play." My kobold, Svenic, telepathically contacts her. Girl: "Uh, can you see me when you do that? That might be awkward." Svenic: "I see all. I just don't care." I wouldn't be a bit surprised if Tom Petty's necrophiliac's anthem was playing somewhere in the background... Major Tom 8 more to go... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
input.jack Posted November 1, 2008 Report Share Posted November 1, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... A new supers campaign started. Archangel is a young blonde paragon. Electrix is a flying energy projector. These are their quotes *ba doink-doink!* ------------------------- GM: The thugs round everyone up. These three villains hop voer the counter and start robbing the tillers. This one changes the date on the check-writing stand... Archangel (OOC): They changed the date?!? No matter how grandiose their overall plans are, these are still petty criminals! ----------------- GM: *rolls* The giant snake misses you. Electrix (OOC): But it will send you a postcard. "The weather is here. Wish you were beautiful" ;D --------------------- Electrix (OOC): Wow! You hit her so hard, when she comes to her costume will be out of style! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Korvar Posted November 2, 2008 Report Share Posted November 2, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... The penultimate D&D 3.5 sesson: Sorceress, upon being referred to as "Sorcerer": "Sorceress! I've got boobs!" Sorceress: "I'm glad I killed your dog!" Sorceress, OOC: "I'll get you when I'm a hooker!" (Worryingly enough, this was referring to her Call of Cthulhu character...) Sorceress: "You're just jealous because I don't want to touch your lance..." We climb up a mountain, to ask a ghost dragon where we can find a crystal we're after. The dragon indicates a crack in the mountain, about a hundred feet below. "The dragon's just showed us his crack!" "Let's enter the dragon's crack!" GM: "It's one hundred feet to the crevasse..." And his was me, I'm afraid, after the Mystic's summoned gorilla attacked the fire elemental, and took fire damage in return: "What goes 'ook ook woof'?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rapier Posted November 2, 2008 Report Share Posted November 2, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... I am, as always, a little behind. From last Thursday's game: Josh (ic): "[That's just wrong.] A man shouldn't know what his own taint tastes like!" -------------------- Jason (ic, iirc): "Knock, Knock!" James: "Who's there?" Jason: "Smell Mop" James: "Smell Mop Who?" -------------------- Linette: "She pierced the man in the little boat?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AliceTheOwl Posted November 3, 2008 Report Share Posted November 3, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Our first D&D 4.0 session. We're playing some Robin Hood-esque revolutionaries. We all happen to be female elves. We were drawn to Misty Lake by the vision of a white stag. Josh is discussing the concept of the game with our newest player. She remarks, "It's like Schenectady in a few more months." Josh says, "Without the undead. I mean, homeless." -------- Discussing plans, Rose (the fighter) asks Eli (the ranger), "Should we go, or should we wait for what's-her-name? What is her name?" -------- In response to a protest about our chosen name (The Misties, who are the heads of the Misty Army), Eli says, "That's all right. This is not a democracy. Democracy hasn't even been invented yet." -------- Discussing tactics of rousting bandits in the middle of the night, Eli breaks character to remark, "And, if we hunt them past midnight, we can use our once-per-day powers twice." -------- The GM describes the scene: "They have a deer cooking on the fire." The rogue remarks, OOC, "Hopefully it's not white." -------- The rogue infiltrates the camp by walking into the center of it and accepting a flagon of ale. They demand payment in clothing. The rogue says, "I toss them my shirt." The ranger is off-put by this, and the players exchange a look. "Hey," says the rogue. "Diplomacy!" -------- The GM inquires after some basic stats on our sheets. He asks the ranger, "How tall is your character?" She studies her sheet, then looks up and answers confidently, "Blank." -------- Later, the rogue is wondering if she can steal a horse, and the ranger argues that that might make her look rich. Our cause is harmed by our not looking poor, she posits. The rogue replies, "I do look poor. I don't even have a shirt on." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
input.jack Posted November 3, 2008 Report Share Posted November 3, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Here are a few quotes from the latest run of the New Titans ------------- Canadienne: Im a superhero! Therefore anyone who opposes me is a supervillain Neutron: Um...thats not how it works. Canadienne: ...Rats. ------------ Canadienne: Im trying to decide between skinny-dipping in the pool here at the house, or going to the beach and going topless till a cop comes by, then moving down the beach and doing it again. Feline Fury: Your kind of "Attention Deficit Disorder" means that you think not enough people are paying attention to you. ------------ Inertia: Thats bad syntax. Feline Fury: There shouldnt be a sin tax. All sins should be free! ----------- Feline Fury: Mister Peabody! Tell us more! ---------- Inertia: I -am- half French, you know. Feline Fury:..And nothings more French than a menage-a-trois! -------------- Canadienne: Check me on this; she needs to breathe occasionally, right? ------------- Canadienne staggers in looking dishevelled Canadienne: Bad news is...I didnt catch him. Good news is...that was awesome! Im going to go not catch him again next week! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jkwleisemann Posted November 3, 2008 Report Share Posted November 3, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Shih Lin uses her mystic powers to contact Outback, who is currently in bed with his girlfriend, the vigilante Greyshadow. Greyshadow has...a slight taste in bondage. Outback, looking at the pitcher of water out of which rises a Shih Lin-like shape: Oh, Elder Grandmother! Nice to see you? Shih Lin: Ahp...(Staring at something that her conservative mind has never really dared to process) I need you to go to Indianapolis. There's a group of superheroes out there who needs you to check their prospective base location for hauntings. (Gives Directions) Outback: No problem, I'll put on my things and get going. Shih Lin: Thank you. I'm glad you're willing to help. I need to return to my convalescence now. (Pitcher returns to normal) Greyshadow: Can she...see through that thing? Outback: She can see EVERYTHING through that thing. Greyshadow: Perhaps you could untie me now? Heh... the correct answer to that, of course, is 'no, you'll just have to wait here until I get back.' Put those escape artist techniques of hers to practice for once! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
proditor Posted November 3, 2008 Report Share Posted November 3, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Mythos Champions adventure. The heroes are talking to Mister Sprinkles, the super smart Soviet scientist ape who has survived on his own for a week in a compound with a rampaging Shoggoth. Shatterman: "So how many of you were there originally?" Mr. Sprinkles: "Three. It was Grigori, Sebastian, and me." Shatterman: "What happened to the others?" Mr. Sprinkles: "The Soviet military supplies all troops, even super-powered ones, with two very basic items; A helmet and a pair of boots. This gigantic...thing, oozed around the corner like quicksilver. It reared up and slammed down on Grigori, so that the bottom of his helmet met the top of his boots. Anything in between squirted out the sides on to the walls." Tigra: "I think I'm going to be sick." Marionette: "Beat ya to it." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jkwleisemann Posted November 3, 2008 Report Share Posted November 3, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... What worries me? What happened to Sebastian...? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlackCobra Posted November 3, 2008 Report Share Posted November 3, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... More quotes from our Ancient Greek Heroes campaign: Herakles' Children. Current story arc? "Out of Africa" [Our heroes are attempting to return to Thebes after an accidental and non-consensual teleportation to deepest Africa.] A new character (Avel) introduces himself as the grandson of the South Wind. Critias: "You can have sex with the wind??" GM: "You had sex with the moon!" [Critias got it on with Luna, the Titan/goddess of the moon.] ---------- Critias: "Am I the only one who needs to eat or sleep?" Lydos (me), grumpily: "No, I have to eat and sleep, thank you very much!" Xander: "Apparently, Mr Grumpy needs to sleep right now." [dismissive hand gesture] ----------- Avel is making a smell perception roll, and someone mentions it's got to stink to high heaven, what with the Deep Ones decomposing on the beach (where we slew them as the exited the lake). The GM says that they completely dissolve away before the sun rises. Xander: "It's a dry stink." ------------ Callisto is seized by a giant beast (think Cthulhuian brontosaurus) using its mouth. She's in danger of the dreaded D&D-style "swallow whole". Xander: "And now you can find out if you can regenerate from poo!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadowsoul Posted November 3, 2008 Report Share Posted November 3, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Critias: "You can have sex with the wind??" Actually the ancient ancient Greeks, (the ones who worshipped the mother goddess), did believe that women could become pregnant by 'turning their hindquarters to the winds as the mares do'. On the other hand they also believed that swallowing a fly might do the trick but that sex with a man was quite irrelevant to the whole pregnancy process. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
input.jack Posted November 6, 2008 Report Share Posted November 6, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Apparently, you killed chat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadowsoul Posted November 7, 2008 Report Share Posted November 7, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... History doesn't kill chat, history is fun. I suspect that no one has said anything quotable anywhere in the world for the last four days or so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 7, 2008 Report Share Posted November 7, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... These are all courtesy of this evening's adventures of the Freak Squad: [bloodstone, the team's pseudo-vampire, has just been awakened by one of the team's DNPCs.] Bloodstone: "Who says that vampires can't benefit from coffee? It raises the living dead!" -- [The local branch of PRIMUS has just informed the team of intelligence suggesting an imminent attack.] Locomotive: "PRIMUS is getting attacked again?!" ColdFire: "They're always getting attacked. I think it's written into their charter." Locomotive: "They need to step up their security." Meeb: "That's us!" -- [The team has put down most of a DEMON superteam and is trying to account for all the opposition.] Bloodstone: "What shape is Mr. Fire-guy in?" Xenos: "He's under a van." ColdFire: "...so I'm gonna say 'flat'." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Major Tom Posted November 7, 2008 Report Share Posted November 7, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... These are all courtesy of this evening's adventures of the Freak Squad: [bloodstone, the team's pseudo-vampire, has just been awakened by one of the team's DNPCs.] Bloodstone: "Who says that vampires can't benefit from coffee? It raises the living dead!" -- [The local branch of PRIMUS has just informed the team of intelligence suggesting an imminent attack.] Locomotive: "PRIMUS is getting attacked again?!" ColdFire: "They're always getting attacked. I think it's written into their charter." Locomotive: "They need to step up their security." Meeb: "That's us!" -- [The team has put down most of a DEMON superteam and is trying to account for all the opposition.] Bloodstone: "What shape is Mr. Fire-guy in?" Xenos: "He's under a van." ColdFire: "...so I'm gonna say 'flat'." Bloodstone had better hope that some wise-a$$ doesn't get the idea to swap out the regular water in the coffee pot with holy water... Major Tom 2 more to go... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
input.jack Posted November 7, 2008 Report Share Posted November 7, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Bloodstone had better hope that some wise-a$$ doesn't get the idea to swap out the regular water in the coffee pot with holy water...... "Lets watch!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jkwleisemann Posted November 7, 2008 Report Share Posted November 7, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... On the subject of vampires and coffee, from a hypothetical comedy Vampire game.... Vamp1 comes across Vamp2 (can't remember their names, I'm afraid - my brother would...) enjoying his twelfth or so cup of black coffee. V1: "What sort of self-respecting vampire are you? You're supposed to be drinking the blood of the living!" V2: "I am drinking the blood of the living." V1: "JUAN VALDEZ DOES NOT COUNT!!!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted November 7, 2008 Report Share Posted November 7, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... Bloodstone had better hope that some wise-a$$ doesn't get the idea to swap out the regular water in the coffee pot with holy water... "Lets watch!" "We've replaced the tap water in Bloodstone's coffee maker with holy water from the local cathedral. Let's see if she can tell the difference...." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Major Tom Posted November 7, 2008 Report Share Posted November 7, 2008 Re: Quote of the Week from my gaming group... "We've replaced the tap water in Bloodstone's coffee maker with holy water from the local cathedral. Let's see if she can tell the difference...." The first clue for her that her brew's not quite what it should be will be if, after she belts down her first drink, she has to spit it out -- only instead of black coffee, she spits out a flaming jet. Major Tom "Renfield!! How many times do I have to tell you -- decaf only!!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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