I need a function!

[Egyptoid]

Re: I need a function!

 

Yet Another Cat Girl !

 

The Supple Pale Lioness ruled the underground of Boston for 5 years in the late 9Os.

She caught criminals, de-pantsed them, and did all kinds of Robin Hood style good deeds

before being gunned down by the gang leader Zank Nokownt

 

She had all the standard cat girl powers: claws, tracking, martial arts,

but her agility was beyond compare, and her lithe contortions would

make even the most jaded stop and stare at her.

 

Her one fault was being too trusting, and that led to her downfall.

Well she was also self-conscious about her body odor.

She tended to get a bit gamey when she was worked up,

and so she slathered on the perfume. But it was this rank vanilla

stuff so she ended up stinking like a giant cloying ice-cream cone.

But she was loved, and buried with full honors by her adopted home city

alongside other champions in Milton Hero Cemetery on Randolph Avenue.

 

= = = = = = = =

 

next item : Codex Jamaica

[lensman]

Re: I need a function!

 

The Codex Jamaica was first cited in the private collection of Boris Balkan (1914 – 1999). The Codex Jamaica was long thought destroyed or fictional, until the auction of the Balkan collection in 2000.

At the vernissage of the collection before auction, a journal of inventory in the collectors own hand, noted that in Sept of 1999, Codex Jamaica R.V.C.

The item was never located.

 

Codex Jamaica was thought to have been a bibliotheca spirited out of Spain in the 1550's by a member of the Knights of Rhodes at the request of Philip II, to avoid it’s destruction by the Inquisition.

These books were a collection of Jewish mysticism, Moorish alchemical formulae and Persian ceremonies that had been trophies of various military orders, collectors and practitioners then into of possession of Philip II.

 

The Codex Jamaica is thought to be a repository of texts and calendars surviving from the seventeenth dynasty of Rahotep.

Jamaica , a Spanish colony since Columbus claimed it in 1492, was thought to be the destination of the bibliotheca because of a private letter from a monk in Jamaica that relate the landing and founding of a priory by a Knight of Malta. Ship logs have never been recovered to verify this

 

Some have claimed that the Inquisition was a cover for the tracking down of this repository and that in 1582 Pope Gregory XIII implements the Gregorian calendar as a means to render obsolete any non Christian observances.

 

 

Next: the Yggdrasil Mace

[Blue Jogger]

Re: I need a function!

 

Yggdrasil Mace

 

It appears as a full-sized wooden reply of a mace of long ago. However, the wood shows absolutely no signs of decay or passage of time, and while it is as light as wood (Str Min 8), it functions as if Great Mace and unbreakable by anything less that a demigod.

 

In truth, it was indeed carved from the Yggdrasil tree and while it lacks the ability to protect complete protection from Ragnarok, it will transport up to two people* (if they are both touching it and one wills it) from the current dimension to another "safer" dimension. (Only works if the user really believes the world is about to end, or it actually is going to end, in the latter case, the mace may leave before someone thinks to use it.)

 

Legend has it, this has happened many times as the world that it is currently resides has no legends of Yggdrasil or Ragnarok or of any disaster so horrible as to need to flee the dimension to escape it.

 

And yet, it persists, a reminder of a world (or perhaps several) long destroyed.

 

 

Next the Infinity Belt.

[Basil]

Re: I need a function!

 

Next the Infinity Belt.

The Infinity Belt is made of extremely fine chain mail steel links "knitted" together in the form of a mobius strip. It must be drawn on either over the head or up from the feet. Once placed around the waist, it will, if the wearer is attacked by physical means, activate a force-field in the form of a Klein bottle. This force-field protects against physical attacks of even the strongest power---it has never been known to be penetrated. It will remain activated for 60 seconds after the most recent attack, thus remaining activated throughout most battles.

 

However, upon the 37th time it activates for any given wearer, the force-field inverts the wearer upon deactivation, leading to a particularly messy death. Since what it considers an "attack" can have a variable sensitivity, it is unwise to keep the belt after the, say, 34th or 35th activation. In one well-known case, the belt activated when a gnat passed near the wearer; that, luckily, was the 36th activation, and the then-wearer removed the belt immediately, and sold it pronto.

 

 

Next: Oh why the bay!

[Sundog]

Re: I need a function!

 

"Oh Why the Bay!" (or more accurately, in the original Atlantean, Ovva(i)th'pay) is one of the major artifacts of the Poseidonian religion. Consisting of a grey wristband surmounted by a trident, each tine being made up of a different precious metal (Left to right: Platinum, Gold, Silver).

 

The artifact grants a measure of control over the sea itself, capable of calling up waves, waterspouts, and whirlpools, as well as currents and temperature inversions (the latter two being more useful underwater, of course). The writings mention that the priests of Poseidon could call upon much greater power, being closer to the god.

 

The religious leaders of the Atlantean people would like to see it returned, but it was last known to be among the possessions of the last Archmage before his death at Tunguska. It has not been seen since.

 

Next: The Jagermasque.

[DEFCON Clown]

Re: I need a function!

 

The Jagermasque is indeed a mask. It is a fearsome looking mask, thick bristly hair protrudes from all sides, tusks come jut forward from the mouth, which is already filled with many sharp teeth. When worn the mask transforms the wearer into a Jagermonster or Jagerkin.

 

It grants increased strength, toughness, speed, reflexes, and a furocious temper. If the mask is worn for too long the wearer is permentantly transformed into a Jagermonster.

 

 

The Seraph Kiss

[Sundog]

Re: I need a function!

 

The Seraph Kiss is a simple stone rod, surmounted by an exquisite carving of a nude woman with six sets of wings sprouting from her back.

 

The Kiss acts like a religious symbol against evil. Unlike most such (such as a presented cucifix against undead) no belief is required for this to function.

 

But it's true use is aginst Krim and his minions. Within a thirty foot radius of the Kiss, no artifact of Krim's making will function - including the infamous Crowns.

 

The Seraph Kiss is believed to reside in the restricted area of the Vatican Museum.

 

Next: The Living Projector.

[Lxndr]

Re: I need a function!

 

The Living Projector

 

The living projector is a product of genetic splicing. Its function is bioluminescence - it creates light in various forms, from simple illumination to focused beams capable of slicing through all but the hardest armours. To use it, it needs to graft to one's chest and feed off the energy produced by the heart - which can have dangerous side-effects if over-used.

 

Next:

 

The Bellibone

[Basil]

Re: I need a function!

 

Next:

The Bellibone

The "Bellibone" is, despite its name, a small, non-descript necklace of rose quartz beads. It seems to have no power, and is just a slightly pretty piece of jewelry.

 

However, if worn by someone who truly, deeply wishes either to be beautiful, or to do good, its powers are revealed. It will cause the wearer to become magnificently beautiful, and to act for the good in all things (both powers are activated, even if only one quality was wished for).

 

This causes the wearer to be admired (save by the truly evil). All attempts are persuading others are very likely to succeed.

 

The downside is the desire, even lust, inspired in all of the appropriate sexual orientations, and a vastly reduced ability to be indirect or "sneaky" as well as a rigorous adhesion to "the right".

 

However, the worst feature of the Bellibone is that if it is involuntarily removed, the former wearer is now rendered uglier and "eviler" in proportion to his/her improvements in those areas before. This is not a problem if the Bellibone is voluntarily removed.

 

 

Next: Witch-pun's wink

[Egyptoid]

Re: I need a function!

 

Next: Witch-pun's wink

 

"Wicca go on like this all night, but it will only spell disaster"

 

The Wink is an IIF, pair of glasses, with a simple power.

 

When an opponent of the wearer utters one of those horrible

Shwarzenegger style combat jokes, (especially puns),

within both earshot and and sight range of the wearer,

the glasses launch a turn-long mental assault on the speaker,

probably rendering him unconscious from the pain overload.

The glasses exact revenge on any inanities uttered in their presence.

 

6d6 Ego Blast, 6x continuing charge phases per activation.

 

next up:

 

Mask of Vulshoth

[Basil]

Re: I need a function!

 

next up:

 

Mask of Vulshoth

 

The Mask of Vulshoth, when worn by a human*, gives that person the ability to change his/her appearance to that of any other human s/he can think of, including someone imagined (rather than remembered or seen). There is, however, one curious limitation; the person must have no teeth.

 

That's right: a completely edentate visage is required.

 

It is speculated by some that "Vulshoth" is not the original name, but rather the closest some long-gone user could get to pronouncing the original. Because, you see, long-term repeated use of the Mask of Vulshoth can result in the user losing his/her teeth!

 

 

*There is no known instance of a non-human using the Mask, but it might be possible to do so.

 

 

 

(If one were to write this up, it would be Shapeshift to Sight, Touch, and Hearing Groups--or Simplified Shapeshift from The Ultimate Metamorph--with the above limitation and with Side Effect of Major Transform with an activation roll)

 

 

 

 

 

Next: The Trousers of Time.

[Gnaskar]

Re: I need a function!

 

The Trousers of Time is a pair of pants. To the untrained eye they appear to be completely normal, if slightly out dated. However, the pants are in fact ancient and immortal, and undamagable. The pants have existed since before the rise of humanity, and will certainly outlive us. No matter what happens the pant will not become dirty or damaged (fate always intervenes), and this can rub of positively on its wearer. Other than that, it has no magic powers.

 

Built as: luck (possibly with an activation roll and side effects unluck to simulate that the pants don't always help the wearer; for example: wearer gets ghastly sick just before he was planning to enter the sewers.)

 

Next: The Sword of Mars

[Lawnmower Boy]

Re: I need a function!

 

The most spectacular scientific discovery of 2015 was Mars Equatorial Explorer's unequivocal photo of a Roman spatha lying right beside its treads.

(Though some did argue, resulting in the arrival of Mars Equatorial Explorer III in 2022, designed specifically to pick the spatha up and wave it around. Much good science resulted, although unfortunately Mars Equatorial Explorer I lost an optical sensor as a result.)

Currently, four major national space programmes have human missions on their way to the sight to find out what the heck is going on.

 

Next Up:

 

The Younger Dryas

[CoreBrute]

Re: I need a function!

 

The Younger Dryas was a magical staff of Ivy enchanted by the God Dionysus, named after Dryas the son of King Lycurgus, who killed the boy in a fit of madness. When held in Dionysus name it gives the user great power over the minds of others, and increases the 'gift' (Mental powers) of those who do possess them.

 

Those who do not serve Dionysus, or offend him or his followers, begin to descend into madness and attack their allies or families, thinking them their greatest enemies. The only way to be free of this curse is for the staff to be taken away from the affected, and for him to be given the blessing of either Dionysus himself, or another Divine (or infernal) being of equal or more power.

 

The staff was last seen when PSI used it to argument their powers, it was sealed away by Witchcraft of the Champions.

 

The next item is:

The Chrome Dragon Amulet

[JmOz]

Re: I need a function!

 

Created by the Roman god Vulcan the chrome dragon amulet gives the wearer the powers over all fire. Only one small...or rather large problem...it is the size of a fully grown dragon and must be worn around the neck...

 

But the question is what does the Mace of Duncan do...

[SuperJerry]

Re: I need a function!

 

The Mace of Duncan was named for Duncan McCloud of the clan McCloud...an Immortal. Just like the weapons of the Immortals, the Mace can be tucked aways in a pocket dimension named Aniss and withdrawn whenever the user needs it.

 

 

 

 

Next up: The Unholy Zephyr of Life

[CoreBrute]

Re: I need a function!

 

...How do you wear a full sized Dragon around your neck, without being able to grow to huge sizes?

 

The Unholy Zephyr of Life is a special marshmallow like treat built by the Black Harlequin. He secretly supplied these treats into a candy store before a special, candy give away day.

 

Only after the children ate the sweets did people find out it's true effect. The 4-10 year old children became depressed, angry at the world and began wearing unusal face paint. They began to resemble Black Harlequin, even emulating his laughs. They cheered when his toys destroy things. It's only a matter of time before this becomes a real and frightening threat.

---------------------

The Grey Cat

[Basil]

Re: I need a function!

 

The Grey Cat

 

The Grey Cat is not at all what most people would expect. It is a (seemingly) unkillable hybrid: part cat and part badger (which, in times gone by, was called a grey).

 

This monster, as clever as a cat and as vicious and powerful as a badger, has been seen, rarely, for the last 5 centuries, first in England, then in the wilder parts of Wales, and from the mid-19th century in Appalachia. Its origin is unknown, but it is believed to be the result of a magical spell gone horribly wrong.

 

It is especially worth noting that it is 115 cm high at the shoulder, some 240 cm long, can burrow faster than a human's running pace, and climbs very well. Its claws, as sharp as a cat's and thicker than a man's thumb, can gut a cow or horse with one swipe. Its thick fur is excellent protection.

 

Luckily it detests the smell (and possibly the sound) of all canids, and will avoid them whenever possible.

 

 

 

Next up: The Three Earrings of Fent-Lahkh-Naroon.

[CoreBrute]

Re: I need a function!

 

The Three Earrings of Fent-Lahkh-Naroon.

 

Fent-Lahkh-Naroon was a powerful Sorceress in 17th century Venice. Her power was unrivalled at the time, and surpasses some of the super mages of now. Where she came from, who trained her and where she got such power is unknown.

 

By her early 20s she was using her powers to have the social elite of Venice bow to her will, and had whatever she desired. She was deemed far too great a danger, and the Vatican sent one of it's most powerful priests, Brother Callum, to stop her magic. Due to his great skill at slef control he was immune to her wicked sorcery, and his prescence soon undid the magic she had done on the people of Venice.

 

To save herself from the horrible punishment she knew she was due to recieve from this priest, She turned herself to pure magic, and hid herself in a jewled earing. If a woman wore it, she would be reborn in her body.

 

Brother Callum knew what she had done, but he couldn't destroy the earing. It was too strong. So using his own gifts, he divided the earing into 3 parts and sent it far and wide. One he threw in the waters of the Atlantic. Another he sent to the far corners of India, among other jewelry.

 

But before he could be rid of the last one, it was stolen from him by some bandits. No one ever knew who the bandits were, or why they wanted the earing.

 

Wherever the earings went, there is one fact about them that is certain. Any woman who wears one of these earings, and possess a trace of magical power, get's her power tripled. And if all the earings are worn and brought together, the three women will combine, and form Fent-Lahkh-Naroon, with all the mages power.

 

---------

Proto Mech

 

Also Basil, you should see what was at the start of the thread:

Here is an amusing concept. At the end of each post a device will be put down then the next post will have to identify what the device does. This device could be a vehicle' date=' weapon, suit, whatever as long as [u']it is not a living being.[/u]

[Egyptoid]

Re: I need a function!

 

The Proto Mech is a wonderful battle suit.

it is a pleasant emerald color, semi-translucent.

its an all-in one design, with a bubble helmet,

so it looks old-fashioned, but that's an illusion.

 

It protects the wearer almost perfectly, and gives full life support.

it can expand or contract to fit any size wearer, even with size alteration powers.

there is a ziploc type function in the back where the wearer slides in

 

Nearly all of the users personal powers can be transmitted through the suit,

but at 5% reduced efficacy. this is assumed to be the recharge method,

as the suit costs no END, and it has a wide variety of functions:

 

It provides wonderful armor 44PD/36ED, regrettably not hardened.

it protects the wearer: 32 Pow Def, 28 Ego Def. and 12 Flash Def all senses.

 

But it has no enhanced senses for the wearer, except magnification or telescopic visual.

but it does provide swimming, superleap, clinging, and 8d6 extra hand attack.

Kbk Resistance and stealth also come easily while wearing the suit.

 

What corporation made this wonderful hero tool?

 

 

Its a shoggoth.

 

 

====================================================

 

Next Up: Diamond Hammer of Arkansas

[Basil]

Re: I need a function!

 

Next Up: Diamond Hammer of Arkansas

 

The Diamond Hammer of Arkansas has the remarkable ability to change objects it strikes in pure diamond. There are a few restrictions, however, and they have given this device a bad reputation.

 

Firstly, the object hit must be from Arkansas. Secondly, the striking must occur outside of Arkansas. Third, the object must be a part of a human body, recently cut from the person. Fourth, the person must be present. Fifth, the person must not have received any treatment, first aid, or similar, not even so little as letting the person (or another) hold the "stump". Sixth, the person must be used as the "anvil"/workbench" the cut-off piece is placed on. Seventh, the blow from the Diamond Hammer must kill the person.

 

Thus, and only thus, the Diamond Hammer can create diamonds of fabulous size.

 

 

 

Next up: The Helm of Darn.

[BobGreenwade]

Re: I need a function!

 

The Helm of Darn is a mystical device that enables its wearer to instantly and magically repair all items of clothing within a radius of three meters.

 

Next up: The Triune Imperial Scepter

[Killer Shrike]

Re: I need a function!

 

The Triune Imperial Scepter is an artifact of the Remen Empire, specifically the power struggle between the First and Second Imperial Dynasts.

 

Three powerful generals and landowners all had equal (or close enough to force the issue) claims to the throne and after a long and costly "quiet war" left no side the clear winner the Remen Senexors were able to finally force a détente by naming all three equal rulers via committee.

 

Thus Gaius Iulius, Gnaeus Pompeius Magnus, and Marcus Licinius Crassus became the Triunevirs of Reme.

 

A special scepter was crafted by noted artisans of the day, chief among them Caiuss Callidus the famed metalworker. The head of the scepter is modeled as busts of the three Triunevirs back to back, and the haft is styled as a doric pillar.

 

Additionally, it was cleverly designed in three sections, like pie wedges, but with the edged vane muted along the the haft allowing for eased grip, and also bearing ornamentation that serves as clever hooks and grooves which allow the individual wedges to be interlocked, forming a composite. The three parts were given to their respective Triunevirs.

 

Though entirely ceremonial in nature, each wedge is a hefty chunk of metal (about 30 pounds) and can serve as both a blunt instrument (the "outside" face) or a semi-edged weapon (the "wedge" face). Two parts joined together are fairly unwieldy and unbalanced. All three parts form the full scepter, and while theoretically it could be used as a mace, it weighs close to a hundred pounds and thus is impractical.

 

Ultimately the Triunate was a bit of a failure; the Remen Senexors cleverly played the three rulers against each other to create deadlocks and stalemates, and asserted their own authority and influence into the vacuum. After almost three decades of this, the son of Gnaeus Pompeius Magnus, Marcus Pompeius Augustus, managed to defeat the aging Gaius Iulius in open battle after the natural death of Marcus Licinius Crassus left the balance of power teetering.

 

Pompeius Augustus assembled all three pieces of the Scepter, and marched upon the Senex in Reme. Taking Reme largely bloodlessly, he forced concessions from the Senexors and returned the Scepter to them saying "Reme is to be ruled by one man, nay two, nor three, nor *three hundred!".

 

The Sceptre resided in the Senex reliquary until it, like many other Remen artifacts, was taken by the Vandalgoth cheifton Rolf Ursul, the Remenbane when he sacked Reme and ended the Ninth Dynast centuries later. It survived for many centuries, entering the collections of various noble and ruling houses, but was lost to history after CY 1858 when it is believed to have been sunk aboard a merchant vessel by the HMSV Terribilus, while being transported across Oceanus Atalantica to new ownership.

 

 

*'three hundred' being a reference to the approximately three hundred Senexors who had in effect seized political power from the Triunevirs.

 

 

 

Next Item:

 

The Black Cauldron of Benjamin Franklin

[Narratio]

Re: I need a function!

 

The Black Cauldron of Benjamin Franklin

 

First mentioned in his biography, published some some 10 years after his death, and forgotten about until just before WWII, the Black Cauldron is a thing of mystery. During his life it is said that Ben would make soups or stews with it and that it could provide him with nourishing gruel or porridge almost upon demand. After his death it was said that, in return for feeding him, it demanded to be fed.

 

It's exact powers are unknown, but it obviously offers increased intelligence, resistence to high energy attacks such as lightning bolts and protection from physical poisoning or disability caused by alcohol, foods or nights of XXX rated debauch. In return you might sacrifice 50% of your hair, eyesight and good judgement and maybe the soul of your first born child. It appears to be an optional arrangement.

 

Next - Raffenstaffers Year Planner

[Ed Coll]

Re: I need a function!

 

Next - Raffenstaffers Year Planner

 

Looks like ordinery planning book; the kind you write down things to do, track money&time, all that shtuff. Its for a whole year.

 

BUT! the first 7 things you write down "to do" you WILL do. Like it or not, good at the time or not, you WILL do them.

 

Good thing? If you write down something you 'spect someone else to do, they WILL do it (unless dead or the like).

 

 

 

Next, The Perpetual Motion Calendar.