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Lame Superhero Rollcall


SSgt Baloo

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In doing research for Mr. Terrific, I discovered that he was selected at some unspecified time as the Lame Superhero of the Week at Blogzarro.com. I subsequently learned of the Gay Ghost at the same website.

 

I was wondering... who would YOU nominate for consideration as the lamest superhero? Aquaman is disqualified from this competition as he is arguably not lame and yet a lot of peoples' obvious choice. Anyone else is fair game.

 

I would like to nominate the Elongated man. Apart from his presumed abilities in the boudoir, stretchiness isn't a particularly intimidating superpower. "Don't mess with me Mutha-F#$%&*+ or I'll go all Silly-Putty on you!" Yep. I'm shakin'.

 

Let's face it. Stretchiness doesn't haul the freight in my book unless it helps you deliver (or absorb) a payload of whupass. Let's face it. If Dr. Destroyer (or the functional equivalent thereof) were holding me hostage, I'm not sure I'd be wanting to see "good ol' Ralph Dibney"* riding over the hill to save the day if anyone else were available (and this includes a few villains).

 

Who would you nominate as lamest superhero and why?

 

*See? Even his not-so-secret identity name sounds lame.

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Re: Lame Superhero Rollcall

 

Ralph Dibny is fine.

 

For lame, you want Air Wave.

 

In addition to putting on a gaudy, green costume, including mask, Larry invented a helmet that enabled him to receive electronic communications (radio or telephone), and a pair of skates that enabled him to slide at high speed along outdoor phone wires.

...

He also had a pet parrot named Static

 

That said, I would seriously consider playing him in a Champions campaign.

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Re: Lame Superhero Rollcall

 

The Karate Kid, if only for the name. Sorry, Ralph, I don't care how many movies you do or how many have Joe Pesci in them I have declared you sole owner of that title.

 

Edit: Can Arse Face be nominated on the anti-hero front. Sure he went after the hero cut it was only because he inadvertently killed his father and Arse Face did manage to hero it up along the way.

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Re: Lame Superhero Rollcall

 

There are no lame heroes, only lame writers/editors that don't know how to make them great.

 

That said, the Great Lakes Avengers/X-Men/Initiative are intentionally lame, as are the Legion of Substitute Heroes, but then that's the whole point. And they manage to be surprisingly awesome regardless ;)

 

At the end of the day, this is really just yet another popularity contest/hate fest...

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Re: Lame Superhero Rollcall

 

There are no lame heroes, only lame writers/editors that don't know how to make them great.

 

That said, the Great Lakes Avengers/X-Men/Initiative are intentionally lame, as are the Legion of Substitute Heroes, but then that's the whole point. And they manage to be surprisingly awesome regardless ;)

 

At the end of the day, this is really just yet another popularity contest/hate fest...

 

You are such a wet blanket! nya.gif

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Re: Lame Superhero Rollcall

 

You mean besides Seeker?

 

Yeah. give the poor guy a break. He's still recovering from those sai punctures to his crotch. :eg:

 

If we consider any edition, you can't get much lamer than Frizbee. Remember her? The black albino blind girl that could throw custom-made Frisbees?

 

How's that for throwing down the gauntlet? :D

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Re: Lame Superhero Rollcall

 

In Champions continuity? My apologies for making fun of NPC heroes who are often designed to get in over their heads, but...

 

You can't get much worse than Orchid. I sweat I've counted every point on that sheet; how can you spend 350 points and have so little to show for it?

Harrier. Unlike the many mainstream comic book characters who can fly and nothing else ("Hi: I'm Black Condor/Falcon/Angel/Hawkman. Please shoot me before I get beaten up again.") she at least has some rD and a handgun. But still....

Tomahawk. Let's leave aside the vulnerability to non-Ojibway magic. How can you have a magic tomahawk for a weapon and not have a KA? Macahuitl is admittedly built on 75 more points, but is still pretty much the character that Tomahawk should have been.

Victory. One point of rD for every 100 character points. Seems a little ...low.

 

As for "real" comics, I've always thought that there sould be a special place for those purpose-created teams that go beyond individual lameness to a special land of cooperative lameticity.

Remember the original New Mutants lineup? A girl who could turn into a wolf, a girl who could take over any one indivual mind; a girl who could manifest the villain's worst fears, presumably crippling him. And that's a pretty large female lineup because this book is going to be all about "empowering" female characters.

Now, let's think about this for a moment. Your pre-established rogue's gallery includes all-powerful solo villains and giant killer robots. How do you think your empowered female protagonists will do?

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Re: Lame Superhero Rollcall

 

As for "real" comics, I've always thought that there sould be a special place for those purpose-created teams that go beyond individual lameness to a special land of cooperative lameticity.

Remember the original New Mutants lineup? A girl who could turn into a wolf, a girl who could take over any one indivual mind; a girl who could manifest the villain's worst fears, presumably crippling him. And that's a pretty large female lineup because this book is going to be all about "empowering" female characters.

Now, let's think about this for a moment. Your pre-established rogue's gallery includes all-powerful solo villains and giant killer robots. How do you think your empowered female protagonists will do?

 

Speaking of New Mutants, I always felt bad for Cypher, though my late ex-BF was a huge fan of him, going on that if he was allowed to live he'd be dangerous by being able to "read" body language and computers.

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Re: Lame Superhero Rollcall

 

Yeah. give the poor guy a break. He's still recovering from those sai punctures to his crotch. :eg:

 

If we consider any edition, you can't get much lamer than Frizbee. Remember her? The black albino blind girl that could throw custom-made Frisbees?

 

How's that for throwing down the gauntlet? :D

 

Sparkler wasn't so great either... Oh, since I'm going to be digging thru my collection anyway, maybe I'll check to see if there are those that I jab out of my brain everytime I see them.

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Re: Lame Superhero Rollcall

 

 

I was wondering... who would YOU nominate for consideration as the lamest superhero? Aquaman is disqualified from this competition as he is arguably not lame and yet a lot of peoples' obvious choice. Anyone else is fair game.

 

 

I nominate Absolutely Useless Fishboy (aka Aqualad' date=' Aquaboy, Aquaman, Aqua[i']whatever[/i]) :D

 

Hey! I refuse to let you ignore me......:mad:

 

 

 

 

;)

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Re: Lame Superhero Rollcall

 

Wasn't there a Champions villain whose sole claim to fame was that he had a hammer where his left hand should be? No super strength' date=' no durability, nothing. Just a hammer hand.[/quote']

 

Yup. In Enemies I.

 

His name, IIRC was Sledge. :P

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Re: Lame Superhero Rollcall

 

Jackhammer. It was a jack hammer

Sledge, The guy with the hammer had a 50 str.

I liked Frizbee

 

Lame Comic book heroes;

 

Deadpool

Venom

Juggernaut

Sabertooth

Green Goblin

Radioactive Man

Venom2

Punisher

Tony Stark

Clorbot

Magneto

 

 

All of the above have been "Heroes" at one point or another.

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