Sundog Posted June 12, 2007 Report Share Posted June 12, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions Q: How did you like the Leslie Fish concert? A: If I weren't drunk right now, you'd be dead. Q: Hey, now we're stuck in traffic, what would you do if I just started repeating the word "Water" over and over, like this, water water water water water water... A: Better not mess with Major Tom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 12, 2007 Report Share Posted June 12, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: Better not mess with Major Tom. Q: Any advice for this new batch of recruits, Sergeant Jerry? A: It's made of solid iron, it weighs a ton or two. We know you'd like to meet it -- it wants to meet you too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted June 12, 2007 Report Share Posted June 12, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: It's made of solid iron' date=' it weighs a ton or two. We know you'd like to meet it -- it wants to meet you too![/quote'] Q: Hi, I'm calling about the robot sheepdog you advertised. Does it work? A: You need more lubrication. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 12, 2007 Report Share Posted June 12, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: You need more lubrication. Q: Why does it hurt when I snog the Tin Man? A: I don't care what the cow says. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Posted June 13, 2007 Report Share Posted June 13, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: I don't care what the cow says. Q: Farmer Johnson's cow is trying to blackmail us. A: But the sheep have pictures. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 13, 2007 Report Share Posted June 13, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: But the sheep have pictures. Q: Yes, Mr. Mightybec, one one-way ticket to Dubai is on its way, but why do you want to know if they have an extradition treaty? A: George Washington slept here. In fact, he's still sleeping. Let me go wake him for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rebeccared50 Posted June 13, 2007 Report Share Posted June 13, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions Q: Yes, Mr. Mightybec, one one-way ticket to Dubai is on its way, but why do you want to know if they have an extradition treaty? A: George Washington slept here. In fact, he's still sleeping. Let me go wake him for you. Q: I'm looking for spell components... can you find me eyeboogers from a major historical figure? A: no, I'm not going to tell you what I'm doing with them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 13, 2007 Report Share Posted June 13, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: no' date=' I'm not going to tell you what I'm doing with them.[/quote'] Q: You're bringing an elk, a cougar, a caribou and a wallaby into your studio apartment? A: You don't need a reason to sue Paramount. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sundog Posted June 13, 2007 Report Share Posted June 13, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions Q: You're bringing an elk, a cougar, a caribou and a wallaby into your studio apartment? A: You don't need a reason to sue Paramount. Q: What would be your paramount reason for doing so? A: Puns are funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 13, 2007 Report Share Posted June 13, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: Puns are funny! Q: Either you have an unhealthy fascination with prunes, or your handwriting is atrocious. What is this supposed to say, anyway? A: I had no idea hiccups would be a side effect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 13, 2007 Report Share Posted June 13, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: I had no idea hiccups would be a side effect. Q: Why did you stop taking your anti-turning-into-a-werewolf meds? A: I take the sacrifice wasn't what you desired, milord. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sundog Posted June 14, 2007 Report Share Posted June 14, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions Q: Why did you stop taking your anti-turning-into-a-werewolf meds? A: I take the sacrifice wasn't what you desired, milord. Q: Blood all over my best robes, half the circle transformed into soulless zombies - and I need to find another 86 year old virgin. Sometimes I think I should just give it up, Smithers. A: It's a gun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
death tribble Posted June 14, 2007 Report Share Posted June 14, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions Q: Blood all over my best robes, half the circle transformed into soulless zombies - and I need to find another 86 year old virgin. Sometimes I think I should just give it up, Smithers. A: It's a gun. Q: Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me ? A: I told everything I know Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 14, 2007 Report Share Posted June 14, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: I told everything I know Q: I'm looking at your interrogation report. why does it include seven hundred fifty pages on obscure television shows but not one word on the events of the eighteenth on which we were questioning you? A: Ah, so you want a CEO who DOESN'T rob the pension fund! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 14, 2007 Report Share Posted June 14, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: Ah' date=' so you want a CEO who DOESN'T rob the pension fund![/quote'] Q: "Flying", "Trying to read Vogon poetry without going mad", "Trying to get the Brantisvogan Civil Service to acknowledge a Change of Address"--these are all so dull. Don't you have a Recreational Impossibility that's a real challenge? A: It's not my fault she looks like a dog. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 14, 2007 Report Share Posted June 14, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: It's not my fault she looks like a dog. Q: I'm sorry, madam, but I can't let your "baby" into the passenger cabin. it's all furry and keeps wagging its tail. A: Nobody knows who the Dog Police are, not even the Dog Police. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sundog Posted June 14, 2007 Report Share Posted June 14, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions Q: I'm sorry, madam, but I can't let your "baby" into the passenger cabin. it's all furry and keeps wagging its tail. A: Nobody knows who the Dog Police are, not even the Dog Police. Q: Do you answer everything with a non-sequitur? A: I'm sane, you're sane - I'm not too sure about that guy over there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted June 14, 2007 Report Share Posted June 14, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: I'm sane' date=' you're sane - I'm not too sure about that guy over there.[/quote'] Q: Isn't this the Sayne Family Reunion? Does that mean we're all cousins here? A: That is NOT what "In case of fire break glass" means. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sundog Posted June 14, 2007 Report Share Posted June 14, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions Q: Isn't this the Sayne Family Reunion? Does that mean we're all cousins here? A: That is NOT what "In case of fire break glass" means. Q: I've got everything we need to survive an invasion! I got guns, I got armour - I even got one of those things to sound the alarm if someone's shooting at you! A: 100% certified gun nut. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted June 14, 2007 Report Share Posted June 14, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: 100% certified gun nut. Q: Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me? I REALLY hope it's the former. A: There is an old saying amongst my people: They do not build them as they once did. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 15, 2007 Report Share Posted June 15, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: There is an old saying amongst my people: They do not build them as they once did. Q: What is an Egyptian's reaction to a weekend stay at the Luxor? A: You have your choice of death from hunger, death from thirst, death from tiny spears, or death by hyena puppies while tied down with leather straps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
death tribble Posted June 15, 2007 Report Share Posted June 15, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions Q: What is an Egyptian's reaction to a weekend stay at the Luxor? A: You have your choice of death from hunger, death from thirst, death from tiny spears, or death by hyena puppies while tied down with leather straps. Q: So what is the punishment for peeing on the Alamo ? A: It's spread by the bees from pollen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Posted June 15, 2007 Report Share Posted June 15, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: It's spread by the bees from pollen Q: Why do you think wearing a bee costume will help you get between a woman's legs? A: We never had a use for it before. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted June 15, 2007 Report Share Posted June 15, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: We never had a use for it before. Q: Why did you throw away the Thermonuclear Protection Shield? The bombs will be here in five minutes! A: And here everybody had their stomachs set on Roast Eagle with all the trimmings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cancer Posted June 15, 2007 Report Share Posted June 15, 2007 Re: Answers & Questions A: And here everybody had their stomachs set on Roast Eagle with all the trimmings. Q: Dude, they found that firebomb you set down at the Eagles' Lodge. What are you gonna do now? A: ARRRRGG!! The clashing colors! The violence to anyone with any sensibilities! How unspeakably tasteless! But adding the "Rudy in '08" sticker was a nice touch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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