Basil Posted July 26, 2008 Report Share Posted July 26, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions A: So that's your moon over Soho. Q: Behold, I have caused the satellite I created to hover above London! A: In some ways, it's more of a blimp, actually. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 26, 2008 Report Share Posted July 26, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions A: In some ways' date=' it's more of a blimp, actually.[/quote'] Q: Is this the same Baron Harkonnen I've heard so much about? A: Make the burden lighter if you must roll that rock alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sundog Posted July 27, 2008 Report Share Posted July 27, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions Q: Is this the same Baron Harkonnen I've heard so much about? A: Make the burden lighter if you must roll that rock alone. Q: Why do you want me to stop punning? It's the best aspect of my sense of humour! A: A JDAM made out of bottle caps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asperion Posted July 28, 2008 Report Share Posted July 28, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions A: A JDAM made out of bottle caps. Q: The Junior Davis Alliance Machine is made out of what? A: The Alliance of Common Causes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 28, 2008 Report Share Posted July 28, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions A: The Alliance of Common Causes. Q: What do you mean you're working to make people keep the seat down? who are you guys, anyway? A: You'd better go home, and do as you're told. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 28, 2008 Report Share Posted July 28, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions A: You'd better go home' date=' and do as you're told.[/quote'] Q: Being a sixth grader sucks! You know what the principal tole me when he caught me trying to break into his office? A: Milk and apple cider vinegar in equal quantities. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sundog Posted July 28, 2008 Report Share Posted July 28, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions Q: Being a sixth grader sucks! You know what the principal tole me when he caught me trying to break into his office? A: Milk and apple cider vinegar in equal quantities. Q: Describe the ideal punishment for disobedient sixth graders. A: Masked wrestlers from the particle physics department! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 29, 2008 Report Share Posted July 29, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions A: Masked wrestlers from the particle physics department! Q: Who beat up all these English professors dressed like pirates? A: I'd prefer a lot less "then" and a lot more "now". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basil Posted July 29, 2008 Report Share Posted July 29, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions A: I'd prefer a lot less "then" and a lot more "now". Q: You may have just missed it, but stick around and you'll see it; it happens every now and then. A: 74 miles is not "nearby-ish". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 29, 2008 Report Share Posted July 29, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions A: 74 miles is not "nearby-ish". Q: "Okay, so our Mars rover didn't land exactly where we wanted, but it's still nearby...ish." A: There is a great disturbance in...oh, never mind. That cleared it up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sundog Posted July 29, 2008 Report Share Posted July 29, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions Q: "Okay, so our Mars rover didn't land exactly where we wanted, but it's still nearby...ish." A: There is a great disturbance in...oh, never mind. That cleared it up. Q: Why are shaking your videophone? A: ShadowFAX - when you only want your evil thoughts going to the right nocturnal avenger! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 29, 2008 Report Share Posted July 29, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions A: ShadowFAX - when you only want your evil thoughts going to the right nocturnal avenger! Q: Batman and Daredevil are both recording record numbers of captures this month. What do you suppose is the difference? A: Shake that paranoia! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 29, 2008 Report Share Posted July 29, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions A: Shake that paranoia! Q: Why are the disco dancers all out to get me? A: I must admit, the delusion about Belgian Waffles raises some disturbing questions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wormhole Posted July 29, 2008 Report Share Posted July 29, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions Q: Why are the disco dancers all out to get me? A: I must admit, the delusion about Belgian Waffles raises some disturbing questions. Q: Okay, just why is there maple syrup all over the place in here? A: "In other news this afternoon, a prison bus on its way to the state correctional facility collided with a cement mixer on the freeway about an hour ago. Local authorities are asking citizens to be on the look out for several hardened criminals who are still at large." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 29, 2008 Report Share Posted July 29, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions A: "In other news this afternoon' date=' a prison bus on its way to the state correctional facility collided with a cement mixer on the freeway about an hour ago. Local authorities are asking citizens to be on the look out for several hardened criminals who are still at large."[/quote'] Q: What beat out "A ship carrying red paint collided with a ship carrying purple paint. Both crews were marooned." for first place at this year's Pun Festival? A: I had to trade in my pale horse for a Vespa. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 29, 2008 Report Share Posted July 29, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions A: I had to trade in my pale horse for a Vespa. Q: Say, Death, why are you buying a gas card? A: Use a ghost, go to jail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basil Posted July 29, 2008 Report Share Posted July 29, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions A: Use a ghost' date=' go to jail.[/quote'] Q: What's the government's latest PR phrase in its campaign against spectral thieves? A: It's not just against the wall, it's a good idea! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sundog Posted July 30, 2008 Report Share Posted July 30, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions Q: What's the government's latest PR phrase in its campaign against spectral thieves? A: It's not just against the wall, it's a good idea! Q: From Highlights of the Advertising Executive Dictatorship: A: We're hiring network executives, not humans! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 30, 2008 Report Share Posted July 30, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions A: We're hiring network executives' date=' not humans![/quote'] Q: Don't you think that hiring people to be contestants in a realistic Running Man game show will draw criticism from human rights groups? A: You just keep on trying, 'til you run out of cake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelcyron Posted July 30, 2008 Report Share Posted July 30, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions A: You just keep on trying, 'til you run out of cake. Q: Why are you crying over every mistake? A: Will it blend? Kelcyron Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hopcroft Posted July 30, 2008 Report Share Posted July 30, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions A: Will it blend? Q: I have vanilla ice cream, chocolate chips, Doritos and chunky salsa. Who wants a milkshake? A: And that's why you don't push the red and green buttons at the same time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted July 30, 2008 Report Share Posted July 30, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions A: And that's why you don't push the red and green buttons at the same time. Q: Your Maserati looks like a rolling Christmas decoration! Did you have a problem with the Paint-O-Matic machine? A: Nowhere is the dreamer or the misfit so alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 1, 2008 Report Share Posted August 1, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions Okay, its' been more than 24 hours with no takers, so here's another Answer: A: It's hard to overstate my satisfaction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sundog Posted August 1, 2008 Report Share Posted August 1, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions Okay, its' been more than 24 hours with no takers, so here's another Answer: A: It's hard to overstate my satisfaction. Q: You fed your life long enemy into an industrial cheese grater? A: That is not cheese. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pariah Posted August 1, 2008 Report Share Posted August 1, 2008 Re: Answers & Questions A: That is not cheese. Q: This pizza tastes terrible! What is this stuff on top, some kind of plastic? (True story: When the on-campus eatery I was working for decided to switch to imitation cheese for pizzas to save money, that's one of the responses we got. More than once.) A: It's not like it was hurting anyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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