"V"

Re: Jokes Your lethal-elephant backstory would work wonderfully and would indeed necessitate the use of the past tense in the version of the boy's comments you posited. In this case a lot hangs upon the fate of the other members of the boy's social group. If they were indeed all killed during the elephant hunt then he would indeed have responded to the protagonist's comments in the past tense. Since there is no direct reference to the fate of the other club members in the text we cannot know for certain if this is the case. Applying exegesis however I would suggest that the rest of the club survived given the triumphant and celebratory demeanour of the boy being questioned. While it is possible that he would have exhibited such joyous abandon out of sheer relief at his own survival I actually believe that the loss of over 1000 of his comrades would have caused him to shed a manly tear and perhaps be a bit more Frank-Miller-Batman in mood. Still we shall never know for certain. Good stuff this, we could perhaps get together and write a series of "What If..." alternate backstories. I claim the post modern retcon version from the elephant's viewpoint. ("I've been so lonely, they called me Twisted Trunk. Watching the other 'phants playing but never... never really being a part of things. All I wanted was some friends. Yeah, I got them alright. 1500 of them. It started so well...")

Re: Jokes An interesting point and I can see how the story could be told either way. The boy of course knows that, while he is currently alone, his club still exists and therefore he refers to them in the present tense. I think I will happily stand by the grammar in my version given the context, but fully accept that the alternate version would also be correct, especially if the boy wished to emphasise that the club granted him assistance in an event the consummation of which was located in the past. Gosh, this has been the most fun I've had discussing grammar in some time.

Re: Jokes Back in the days when it was deemed proper to do so, an English hunter went out by himself into the jungles of deepest Africa to hunt elephants. For days he trudged through the difficult terrain but saw no game worthy of his massive elephant gun. On the seventh day he was about to pack it all in and go home when he heard the sound of jubilant rejoicing coming from a nearby clearing. He hacked his way through the lianas to be confronted by the corpse of the biggest elephant he had ever seen, a massive beast of almost legendary heft which would have been an ideal target if it had not already been killed. And standing atop it was a young boy of about ten years old, leaping up and down and happily singing "I killed the elephant, I killed the elephant." The hunter, awestruck and a little jealous, said "How did you kill the elephant?" "With my club" replied the youngster. "Good grief!" said the hunter, "It must be a big club." "It is," replied the boy, "there are 1500 of us."

Re: Need Some Name Help (in German) As an informal nickname "Feuerdrachen" (firebreathing dragon) may do, but given the usual German army way of naming things - very practical but lacking in artistry - their official name could be Panzer Flammenwerfer Soldaten (Armoured Flamethrower soldiers). More pulpy alternative: Die Feuerbestattung Kriegern - the Cremation Warriors. You'll probably have to work out the correct plurals, I seem to have the wrong brain in today.

Re: NGD Scenes from a Hat He keepth complaining that he'th thor, but thereth no thign of any thpotth. NT: Dead give away that your neighbour is far far too interested in comics.

Re: Jokes "Doctor, I think I may be losing my hearing." "Can you describe the symptoms?" "They're a yellow cartoon family; what does that have to do with my case?" -- "Hey Joe, can you smell burning?" "I'm dyslexic. I can't even smell my own name."

Re: Haiku Hero Mathematical Incompetence prevents my Haiku mastery. Damn.

Re: Dem's the Breaks I believe you! Such real historical characters who are far stranger than fiction litter the Flashman chronicles. How about this for an appropriate Victorian Pulp Hero: Former British naval officer who distinguished himself fighting the pirates of the South China Seas to such an extent that he is honoured by the Sultan of Brunei and made Rajah of Borneo on condition that he keeps up the good work. His crew includes former Naval personnel and individuals such as a half Scot, half Arab adventurer and a blowpipe wielding native of Borneo. He's a real guy - James Brooke the "White Rajah" of Borneo and a much loved figure out there... fictional adventures wouldn't dare portray the expeditions he led against the pirates as they would seem overdramatised and unlikely.

Re: Dem's the Breaks My favourite series of novels. Historical adventure stories that combine astonishing research (I have learned a vast amount of 19th Century history from them - the writer George McDonald Fraser is meticulous in footnoting the people & places he uses) with a light comic touch, all narrated by one of the most engaging rogues in literary history. Clicky The framework is as follows (and it is a measure of the writer's talent that some readers believed this to be a factual account rather than fiction): a series of packets of memoirs were uncovered in a house clearance and they turned out to be the warts & all memoirs of a famous Victorian war hero whose career spanned from the 1840s through to the days prior to World War I by which time he was knighted, a general, holder of the Victoria Cross etc. The memoirs reveal that he was in fact a bully, coward and charlatan whose heroic reputation was a result of a series of unlucky breaks, misadventures and a knack for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Each novel covers one period in Harry Flashman's life, from his original expulsion from Rugby School (he was the villain in Tom Brown's Schooldays) and his posting to Afghanistan all the way through a variety of campaigns including the Indian Mutiny, the Sikh Wars, the Zulu risings, adventures against the slave trade, encounters with Lincoln, John Brown and other figures of the Old West (he was fleeing panic stricken from the action at LIttle Big Horn too...), mixing it with the pirates of Borneo and the deranged (and entirely historical!) Queen of Madagascar... and far more. I can't recommend these books highly enough, and this brief and hastily written blurb by no means does them justice. Oh, he charged (unwillingly) with the Light Brigade too... Damn me, but the Victorian era was hellishly busy for a British officer, what?

Re: Dem's the Breaks Regency Hero? Victorian Hero? Have I died and gone to heaven? At last a rules vehicle for the entire Flashman chronicles! I salute you in advance

Re: Daily Art Findings I've just found this thread & love it - plenty of stuff I can rip-off (sorry, be inspired by) for my own campaigns. One thing I don't get though - why are some images labelled "not work safe" - I haven't seen anything in them that would raise an eyebrow in the fetish club where I work. Still, great thread- many thanks to all you contributors.

Re: Pulparize It! Charlie's Angels 1920. Celebrated New York socialite Charles "Charlie" Charlesworth is only moderately dismayed to hear of the death of his aged Great Aunt from England, and a tiny legacy makes little difference to his life - all except for one item, an elaborately carved Tibetan ornament which he uses as a paperweight. Imagine his surprise one day when, polishing the paperweight, he finds himself suddenly joined by a trio of glamorous young women, in the height of 1870s' raciest fashions, and almost entirely transparent (the gals, not the fashions)! Ghostly Great Aunt Millicent was quite a stunner fifty years ago, and her two spectral bosom-buddies Felicity and Prudence were not far behind. In life they were debutante adventuresses and crime fighters... and now Charlie finds himself in need of their regular advice and inspiration as he takes on the Mob, sinister Oriental gangs, bolsheviks, nihilists and more. All he has to do is talk to his paperweight and the Angels come running... or more accurately gliding gracefully with just the hint of a wiggle.

Re: Pulparize It! The Amazing _____'s Million Dollar Challenge A welathy stage magician spends much of his career openly debunking psychic impostors and other frauds and in fact goes so far as to offer a million dollar prize to any individual who can conclusively prove the existence of supernatural powers. Many come forward, all are debunked and ridiculed, no one wins the prize. But here's the stinger... the Amazing Magician is in fact merely the human form of a hideous extra dimensional creature who is the vanguard of an invading force of hideous extra dimensional creatures who while impervious to most normal weapons are vulnerable to psionic attack. His challenge is designed to draw genuine psychics out into the open where they can be quietly neutralised. Anyone showing any genuine ability is quietly killed and then replaced with a shapeshifted warrior in the Amazing Creature's demonic service. Our heroes could be the relatives of a suitably... altered... psionic victim who uncover the plot and must face not only the demonic being and his minions, but also the power of his media influence that labels them as cranks and crackpots. Can they expose the truth before the International Sceptics Conference of 1936, coincidentally being held in a hotel on a massive ley-line nexus on the very day the portal between the worlds is to be ripped apart?

Re: Pulparize It! This one would have to be the latest in a line of adventures featuring the same heroes to work: Heroic leader of Pulp adventure team sends his loyal Action Squad out to do battle against sinister invaders from the North. While coordinating the action back at his headquarters he falls in love with the beautiful wife of one of his top agents, and against his better judgement starts an affair with her. When the inevitable bombshell hits and the woman tells him she is pregnant, he makes a dreadful decision and telegrams the leader of his Action Squad to mount a direct assault on the Sinister Invader's fortress - and arrange for the woman's husband to be killed in the battle. He thinks he's got away with it, but the team Mystic suddenly receives a psychic vision showing the plotting of the murder and the reason behind it. He now knows that both his leader and the Action Squad commander are conspirators in a cold blooded killing for the worst of reasons... what does he do & will anyone believe him? (the source is the Second Book of Samuel in the Bible, with heroic King David being the man behind the murder)

Re: Things I have learned playing a pulp hero ... And you'd be amazed what it can get snagged on...

Re: Things I have learned playing a pulp hero ... I did run a home grown pulp rpg system for a while and one of the concepts was that each character had a certain number of Plot Points that they could use to boost their chances of success at critical moments - and each character could define a method by which they could recoup Plot Points by acting "in genre/in character" - so for instance the Esteemed Detective could recoup Plot Points by making patronising speeches explaining his deductive processes; the brawler recouped his by being unduly pugnacious even when the player knew this wasn't necessarily the most expedient moment to do so - and so on. My wife was running a classic Pulp Heroine - naive, beautiful, curious etc and defined her Plot Point recovery method as being exactly what you described - the way she saw it was that Pulp Heroines must have had some reason for running round in a state of skimpy undress since it happened so often, and that reason was probably because it got them skill boosts. Fun days...

Re: Things I have learned playing a pulp hero ... When you reach the treasure room in the temple and notice how elaborately it is decorated in comparison with the grotty generic corridors that led up to it... unfold the ten foot pole and the crash test dummies and DO NOT APPROACH THE ALTAR DIRECTLY. If there are Romans of any type up to and including traffic wardens, then there will be an arena which will involve fights to the death. This even applies if there is a very very limited availability of potential combatants. This may explain the very very limited availability of potential combatants. When you're captured by the Nazis/Romans/Other Imperialists with Eagle Banners and just before you're bundled off into the arena dungeons look around. If any of the captors is a good looking young woman, smile at her. This will halve the amount of time you spend incarcerated and possibly get you a deleted scene near the end of the adventure. That roguish and slightly mercenary character you brought with you on the expedition - cast a quick I-CHING hexagram for him. If it comes up as Hexagram 9 (Player Character) then you can count on him to come through in the end, possibly as a result of the affections of the young woman mentioned above. If it comes up Hexagram 23 (Non Player Character) then he will have been planning to betray you all along and will do so a) shortly after you find the treasure and, shortly before the death trap triggers. If this is a one-off adventure the NPC traitor will be killed in the death trap, if it is a continuing campaign he won't. Somehow his running shoes can tell the difference. The Fountain of Youth will work, but there will be so many terms and conditions in the user manual that you'd have to bathe in the Fountain of Dumb before trying it. The Jungle Queen really doesn't know what kissing is. Her culture really is that unusual. So don't waste time kissing her - if she's that willing to try new things with complete strangers see what else her culture hasn't yet formed taboos about and go straight for the deleted scene. If at any point you encounter an ancient jewel whose name includes the word "EYE" particularly if it is being sought by Nazis (etc etc) then keep it handy. Forget the market value, the energy blasts that it will almost certainly produce at some point will be invaluable. Try to look surprised and impressed though - GMs like that sort of thing. If at any point you encounter an ancient jewel whose name includes the word "EGG" particularly if it is being sought by Nazis (etc etc) then be cautious. When at some point it hatches into a powerful and destructive spirit being composed of pure energy from beyond the dawn of time (etc) it will not be a good idea to have it in your pocket. If you can figure out exactly when this is going to happen however it will make an effective grenade.

Re: What I've learned playing a Cyberman I didn't want to derail the thread, but since you saw the Confidential episode were you as blown away as I was by just how much difference the dance/choreography training made to the men in the Cyber suits? Even before they got into costume that moment when it showed them all marching in unison... hell I'd have believed the actors were killer steel robots. Must remind self never to mock little old choreography women again.

Re: Single Green Superhero seeks.... (personels for your characters) Wraithkynd Single dv* individual seeks mortal female for companionship & more. Ideal partner will have good sense of humour, no firm religious convictions, definitely nvhs*. Power defense a must. Affects-Desolid on strength a bonus. * dv = Differently Vital (undead) * nvhs = No Visible Holy Symbols

Re: 50 Word Superhero Stories! First Lesson “You want to be a hero?” the Kryptonian asked suddenly. The earnest young man nodded, eager to see the end of their flight together. They landed by the pond, the air swarming with mayflies. ”It’s not about power, it’s about love.” Superman said. “Watch them. Could you be their hero?”

Re: 50 Word Superhero Stories! He’d woken bleary with a K hangover. She walked in as he dressed. “I knew you had a secret Clark,†she snapped. A secret identity ruined in seconds… but then she gave him a way out. “Blue pantyhose,†she sneered, “that’s just sick.†A way out… if he wanted it.

Re: What I've learned playing a Cyberman I think the Cybermen would have envied the Borg's ability to instantly assimilate others into their culture (the Cybe's had to do it the long way round)- but balance that against the Borg's crushing sense of racial inferiority at being a rip-off of a forty year old British TV villain and things work out even. Heh. Did anyone get to see the latest Dr Who episode "RIse of the Cybermen" this weekend - my word that was splendid - just what the Cybermen ought to be. Heavy steel military monsters.

Re: Boogiemen that are actually /scary/... Must agree with the concensus here - you won't scare your PCs just by pitting them against bigger badder opponents. You scare PCs by having them realise that one way or another the (SCARY THING) can change their life for the worse one way or another. If the only threat is possibly taking more STUN/BODY (and possibly even having to write up another character) then you don't have fear - you just have a tactical problem to solve. Without knowing the specific PCs it's impossible to come up with a genuinely creepy example - horror can never be generic, and examples would sound trite unless tailored ("Threaten DNPC" sounds crass- having the PC realise that his younger sister's 'steady' who has been mentioned for several sessions as an off-stage npc is probably the psychopath the team has been hunting for most of the campaign and she has just left town on a weekend away with him... that can work - given the right PCs- whether the psycho has combat stats worth spit or not)

Re: What I've learned playing a Cyberman Well the first thing I learned when playing a Cyberman was never to pursue the sneaky little human who insists on running into a jewellery shop while clutching sandpaper and a blowpipe.

Re: Firefly I only recently discovered Firefly - bought the DVDs after seeing the movie (and much as I enjoyed it, how upset am I that I saw the end before the beginning!) and became a rabid convert! Already been to a fan gathering here in my home town (how lucky was that!) and started lending the DVDs to anyone who'll watch them. I bought the RPG more or less so I could get another 'fix' even though I don't have any spare time to run a new campaign... In short - Shiny.